How To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back - The Complete Guide

Rosie 3 years ago

Hey there, i read your article and I'd love some advice.

Does your rules still apply if your BF was never an official one?My guy is super shy and never makes a move, but under that he's got an iron resolve. We started being 'unofficial' fron NYs eve this year and since then have done everything pretty much as if we were going out.Recently, he ditched me cause he's moving 40 minutes away, but i found out from a mutual friend that really he's gone off me like a light switch.

This happened the day after we had a fight over txts where i told him i'd like to know where i stand because he'd tell me he loves me ten/ten then ignore me for weeks! or at least it felt like it. He's probably really annoyed cause i hounded him and I HAVE txted him to often, it's a reaction when i panic that he's slipping away!

Now tommorow him, I and 4 other of our friends are leaving for a holiday for a week and i'll be with him all the time! I'm the only girl going besides a friend of mine who is dating his mate!The mutual friend says I have no hope, but another says i should try.

I can't 'not be in contact' cause he'll be right there! I'd like to start working on winning his interest back, but i need to clear the image he has of me of being a bit needy, when all i wanted was confirmation that he cared in the first place!

I would desperately love some advice on what to do on this beach holiday (hitting the amusement parks) to start to win him back.Or is there no hope at all?

Rosie 3 years ago

thanks so much. I've already downloaded the book and am reading it now, finger's crossed!

bama girl 3 years ago

That is so true! But I have to ask ....What If the one you love and want n\back is dating your best friemd???

Nish 3 years ago

Hey Esmerelda,

I just wanted to say thank you so much for this tip!! It's working currently in a matter of a day!! I accepted our break up and moved on. This guy is a very firm head, and he is very stubborn, but I am crazy about him and I want him back. During our relationship, I fought with him over STUPID girl stuff...like "why dont you tell im beautiful" or "where you checking that girl out?" and stuff like that and sometimes telling him he wasn't being passionate or affectionate enough. But the thing is, I couldn't find better words to express my feelings so I said it in a way that I never meant! I never meant to say he was not passionate and affectionate, but what I DID mean to say is that I want to see MORE of his passion and love..you see, I said things the wrong way, and that hurt him, and that's WHY he broke up with me. When I accepted our break up, he said "He is not 100% over me", and I am going out to dinner with a guy friend this saturday and i mentioned it to him very casually...and within 6 hours, he kept on trying to get in contact with me, and very blantantly asking me ,"are you really going out with a guy this saturday?" i said, "yes, it's dinner" and he said, "oh..okay..thats fine, i guess.." and then i cut the conversation short and said, "but hey, i gotta go" and he said, "i will just talk to you later then"..I'm assuming he wanted to talk to me longer, but I cut the conversation short. He is an amazing man and I want him in my life...How am I doing thus far?

Nish 3 years ago

Hey Essy,

I got online to facebook today and obviously facebook's pop up chat was on, and he got online on facebook as well, but he only got on for a minute and then signed off and didn't even chat with me...Is that a sign or what?

Nish 3 years ago

Essy,

Well, here is what happened. We talked online and I told him that I was going to Olive Garden this Saturday with that guy I was going on a casual dinner with. He kept on asking me ,"Are you going out to dinner with that guy" and everytime I kept avoiding the question. So he said, "I guess I will take that as a yes since you are directly answering me" and So I said, :Yes, I am going to Olive Garden with that guy." Now...later on in the conversation he asks me ,"Do you really want to go out with guy" and he asks me that twice"and I said, "I'm sorry, I don't know what to say" I also said I didn't want to talk about it. But since it was Mardi Gras yesterday I made it very clear to him that I was hanging out with that guy that will be taking me to dinner and a couple of friends to celebrate Mardi Gras, and I even encouraged him to celebrate too! To make it seem like there wasn't any problem going on. He got weird. I told him that guy was going to pick me up and come to my dorm room" So he sarcastically said, "Of course he'll come to your dorm room". So I said, "Look, this guy is there for me at my worst." and he said, "So was I!" Like he keeps comparing himself to this guy. So I dropped my Mardi Gras plans and went over to his house since its not far from my dorm, and talked to him about his feelings. I explained to him that I was moving on from him, and that this guy that is taking me to dinner is really cool and he makes me laugh and he just makes me happy when I need to be." And he started to cry! He couldn't even face me. He told me he was hurt. I told him that he wanted me to move on when he dumped me, and that I finally was. He just shook his head and said, "You won't understand". I even offered my hand in friendship and he refused to take it. I reminded him that he was the one that dumped me and that he should be okay with me moving on and doing things, but he kept feeling hurt. Basically, I told him that he had no right to feel what he was feeling considering the fact that it was HIM that broke my heart. I also told him that I do think of memories with him (in a complete casual way, yet I probably sounded pretty angry because I was!), but that nothing he did was going to stop me from Olive Garden. He said that he's not feeling angry that I'm going out with a guy to Olive Garden, but he's feeling really hurt. I mean, Im thinking, WHY SHOULD HE? He broke up with Me. But yes, basically I told him that he has no right to feel that way, and the last thing before I stormed out of his house was "Next time, don't dump a girl if you still have feelings for her". STUPID ME....I called him today to make sure he REALLY was okay with me going to Olive Garden Saturday , and he acted kind of mean towards me and I said, "are you okay with me going out this saturday?" and there was a long pause. "it doesn't matter what I think..." and I said, "but you were upset last night." and he said, "im sorry for acting that way" Im thinking to myself that he has got be playing games! so I said, "so you are ok?" and he said, "do what you gotta do...i gotta go" so i said, "alright bye...im glad your okay with it and im glad we're friends" and then we hung up. NOW IM CONFUSED...Should I just give up and message him on facebook and tell that I am not going on a date this Saturday and just cancel it?" or wait until AFTER saturday to see if he asks me how my date went?" I feel helpless...what do I do now? Thank you!

Nish

AB 3 years ago

Hello..Thanks for your post and it is really nice. Also good to read comments from others. I am sort of in deep funk after my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me three weeks ago (he lives in another country now, but he moved only 3 months ago, before that we were in the same city) and since then all I have thought about is how to get him back. I have tried to keep my contact minimum, but even in the 5-6 or so phone calls I have made in 3 weeks, he has been very very distant. Only once or twice he was friendly but short. So my question is--what should I do? Would you give me some advise. Also, the reason he broke up is because he doesn't trust me enough, he is a bit of the paranoid kind, although I am the last person on this earth to cheat. Can you help? Thanks a lot.

Nish 3 years ago

Hi Essy,

I sent you an email! Thank you so much for your help!!!

Nish

Diana_Kelsey 3 years ago

Hi Essy, Thanks a lot for such a great advise that you have said here :)

I am all shocked and troubled for the past two weeks. My fiance has just ended our 3 years of relationship saying that he do not wish to continue such a relationship that has distances and quarrels. Actually, he is studying and is bit far away from me. We had been together for the past 3 years.. so the distance has left him totally shakened.. especially when he is staying along with his parents and they have not accepted me as yet and his close male friend (who just had a break-up) also saying against me( i.e to leave me).

Before reading your advise.. I have comitted all mistakes of crying, calling him again and again and even begging to not to end our relationship for the past two days. But, now I will will definately do what you say here. i.e. Keep Distance.

I would love to talk to you. I am all broken at heart as I have lost my trust and love. Plz... be my guide. and Thanks for every support. I am gonna read the e-book for sure.

Heather Teetor 3 years ago

Well I will admit this is good advice that I probably should have read before tonight :) So now...two questions...

1) What if you've already broken the cardinal rules?

2) What if you met him more recently -- had one of the quick whirlwind relationships that there was a ton of chemistry -- but don't have any common friends, jobs, etc...I'm not sure HOW I would run into him again w/o actually picking up the phone and talking.

3) Okay -- I said two but I really meant three -- do these things change if HE was the one interested in a relationship and YOU were the one who blew it by not being ready. We're a little older and looking more towards that "next step" in life.

Thanks for the good advice.

Diana_Kelsey 3 years ago

Hi Essy,

I have sent that letter as suggested in T.W.'s video. Lets hope, our plan begins to work. Though, my ex has not contacted me for the past 3 days and neither have I. But, I believe in 'Hope' and 'Karma'.I have also replied to your mail. Thanks for caring. I am in need of a true friend..Take care-Diana

ego_eris  3 years ago

Essy,

My boyfriend (29) of three years broke up with me (25) almost one month ago. We were extremely happy and in love, but a lot of things changed over the course of the past year (he moved in with a new roommate, I started working on my Masters, etc.) that placed a lot of stress on both of us. During the last year, I lost a lot of my confidence and have kind of become a weak little weenie, which I know contributed to our problems. When he broke up with me, he said that now he isn't sure of anything in his future, and couldn't even tell me if he sees me in it - he couldn't say 'no,' but he couldn't say 'yes' either.

During the course of our entire relationship, he always reinforced the idea that he would never leave me and that I was the love of his life and he wanted to marry me someday. Needless to say, the breakup hit me hard - really hard - and I've already made the cardinal mistakes of text message terrorism, IMing him, leaving him (innocuous) Myspace messages, and even stopping in to see him at work. So would the letter work at this point, or would it be seen as just another attempt to get him back into my life?

I'm at a complete loss. When I have seen him lately, he has admitted to not being over the relationship and has been relatively nice to me, but has expressly stated that he "doesn't want to get back together right now." He'll talk to me on AIM, but never initiates contact. But I don't want to just let go of everything we had, and I definitely don't want HIM to move on. Have I messed things up too much already? Is there any hope of salvaging this relationship?

merrilysinger 3 years ago

My boyfriend wanted to break up after we had our first fight. We were in a long distance relationship when we had the fight he broke up with me. Everything was really good for 8 months then he says it is for the best. I thought perhaps it was because he had a hard time with the distance. Now I am visiting the same college he is going to again becuase of a job offer. We were talking some but then after he found out I would be going to the same school he stopped anwering my calls. Could he have another girl or is it that he doesn't want anything more to do with me. I am wondering why? Is there a chance I can get him back? Or should I just forget him and mover on?  I will be seeing him on campus in 3 weeks, should I just ignore him or talk to him if he wants to talk to me? I need some help.

ego_eris 3 years ago

Essy,

I purchased and poured over T.W.'s course and am currently in Day 4 of no contact (better late than never?). Last time my ex and I spoke, he said that I was "an impatient person and just wanted things to immediately go back to how they were." He said that he would talk to me again eventually, but the thought of addressing whether or not he could see me in his future is "really cruel." He also got emotional and angry, and expressed disdain for having to box up "all of the cute little things that I'd made for him" earlier that day. He's obviously upset over the breakup (he apparently drinks almost every night and has given himself an ulcer), but still says that he needs space.

Is it worth even going through the hassle of all of this? I mean, the plan seems simple enough, but I don't want to hold on to some unrealistic glimmer of hope if there simply isn't any, you know? Everyone in my life is telling me to let go of him and to just move on, but I still really, really love him. Is it a lost cause?! Is there any way to tell if he is just upset over breaking my heart (because he does care about me) or does he really miss the relationship? How can I keep myself occupied during no contact other than just by "working on myself?"

K 3 years ago

This is definitely great advise!

Just recently, my boyfriend of 8 years broke up with me. He said he needs to figure out things with himself and felt he was growing apart from me. He says, "We only know each other" He admitted that he is scared of the next level. As you can imagine, it has been a difficult 2 weeks. He says he still loves me and that will never change. It gets me confused. I took this extremely hard. I needed to take time for myself. I decided to move to another state for a few months to stop thinking about him and to start thinking about myself. We have many mutual friends and everyone seems to think we will soon get back together. He's just going through something right now. Did I make the right decision? What should I do?

Mira 3 years ago

Hey Essy, thank you very much for the interesting page. It really clamed me down and gave me strength.

Me and my bf have been together for 2 years and 4 months, totally in love. Lately he has hanged because my bad mood and stress i was making. (I sent you a detailed email).

The last words he said to me were, we will be just friends, you should be happy for yourself and not for me, you should take care of yourself. But afterwards I have made all the bad things of begging and calling a lot etc...

I believe he will take some time and he will call me, but I wonder if he will be able to forget the bad things I did (I mean the begging).

I'm really looking forward to having him back, and I learned by heart all your words and willing to make them.

Should I send him a letter or something?

Mira Mira 3 years ago

Hi Essy, thank you for your reply. I was in depression, so he decided to leave, it was him who broke up, I begged him and apologized and did eveything but he was insisting. Now I am out of depression and willing to improve my relationship in a positive way, but I don't know how can I convince him to come back.

I sent you the email 2 times on the above link (Contact Essy84) and one time on the exboyfriendhelp. I don't know if you received it.

Ranae 3 years ago

Essy,

My boyfriend (21) and I (20) were together for almost two years. In fact, today (03.22.09) would be our anniversary. He broke up with me last weekend (03.14.09). It was just an out-of-the-blue breakup, and I was completely devastated. I still am.

During the first few days of the breakup, I did ALL of the big "No" mistakes. I called him, texted him, etc. I tried telling him how much I loved him, how wrong I was, etc. Nothing worked though. I still don't have him back.

Initially, he was telling me he just needed "time" and that after he's had some time to sort things out, maybe he and I can reevaluate things. I guess my continuous confessing of love to him pushed him away more, seeing how as of two days ago he told me that I just needed to "move on"...he says he wants a break from relationships for a while, because he wants to be able to do things he didn't get to do much of while being in a relationship (going out with friends, etc).

I know he still has feelings and love for me. But I just don't know if he wants to be with me again. I would love to be with him again...not because I feel rejected, or because I feel I "need" a man in my life. This definitely is not the case: I need no man to be happy. The reason I want him back is...I truly love him. I truly WANT to be with him. I miss HIM, not the relationship. I truly felt/feel that he is "the one" and that this relationship is not over in our hearts!

But will these tactics work in my situation? I mean--I've already pushed him overboard. He's already told me he wants to be "free" for a while. So what do I do?

PS: I have been initiating No Contact for a few days, but I've failed a couple of times. I can go all day without talking to him...but night time comes around, and I just want to call/text him, because that's what we did when we were together. Every single night.

Mira Mira 3 years ago

Hey girls, I just want to ask a simple question: Shall I go out with friends and have some fun? or he will be jealous and maybe he will go farther away?

I have to mention that before the break, he was terribly jealous without a true reason, so now I am hesitating, I am invited tonight with friends and his brother will be there (Should I go or not?) Please give me your opinion.

Mira Mira 3 years ago

Thank you essy, you are always helpful.

I went to meet my friends and the first comment was: Wow Mira you are shining, you seem happy. This comment was in front of his brother.

I am very sure that his brother will phone him as soon as possible and tell him that he saw me and maybe he will give him some details. I just wonder now if my bf will react to this.

Our last contact was 12 days ago, to me it seems like eternity, but do you think that it's normal for him not to contact me this long?

I just rememberred that in our last contact he said to me that he will always be by my side. (Now I am starting to remember the positive words he said to me).

I wonder if it really works to get the ex back... Did it work really for some people? Shall I believe that I can really have him back?

Jessica 3 years ago

I am so thankful I found this site. Two nights ago my boyfriend, who I have been just crazy about since the begining almost a year ago, just decided that he isn't ready to settle down yet and wants some space. He still wanted to be friends though, but since his first love who he dated for 3 years broke his heart (about a year before we got together) he hasn't really been interested in a "serious" relationship. This of course was pretty devastating to me. The whole time we dated though he always had all the power, which is kinda new to me, but unlike my previous boyfriends, I ended up falling a little too hard for him. I think that may have added to the problem. Anyway I already wrote him a letter today telling him that I still constantly think about him, and reading this I'm afraid I already messed up. Is there even any hope though if he just doesn't want to be tied down?

sandy 3 years ago

hi essy... i sent you an email... i hope you could help me... thanks...

beauty1 3 years ago

I am devistated but yet so much in love... My boyfriend just broke it off with me after 3 years... I still love him very much and he just wants to be friends. He claims that he doesn't feel like he wants to be commited with just one girl at this time... What books etc... do you recommend so I don't make any mistakes on losing the love of my life...

Ria 3 years ago

This is a fantastic article! My boyfriend finished with me 3 months ago after a 3 year relationship and im still trying to get over him. The thing is i just can't stop contacting him and i just wish i'd read this just after the break up! I have definately pushed him further away by contacting him as he told me that he doesn't love mein THAT way anymore. Is there still any hope for me to turn this round? The other difficult thing is that he only lives around the corner from me so i see him around quite often.

Jessica 3 years ago

Hey I just wanted to say, that I was so scared that having my wonderful relationship again with my exboyfriend was hopeless. However I did exactly what this site recommended, and yesterday, Jacob (who recently told me he wasn't ready to settle down) showed up at my door distraught that I was moving on with my life, and apologized for everything he had said and done and told me he would do whatever it takes to get our relationship back in track. I seriously could not believe it. I'm still shocked. I told him that it would be okay if we started dating again, but we had to take it slow (to not look too obsessivley excited), and he was so happy it blew me away!! Thank you so much, he is such a rare and awesome guy and if I had reacted the way my emotions told me to I don't think I would have him in my life again. I can't thank you enough!

Kitty 3 years ago

HI Essy!

I emailed you a few days ago, because my story is very long. I was wondering if you could email me back, because I seriously need your advice. Did I send it to the correct email address? essy@exboyfriendhelp.com? (I had the number 35 in my yahoo email account)

nadia 3 years ago

Hey Essy,

Just wanted to say this article was tons of help! Im hoping everything will work out as i'm planning, but these tips were very useful so thanks!

heartbroken gal 3 years ago

i think ur tips are brilliant only thing i disagree with is the calls i made the mistake on calling my ex and then deleted his number i have sent him emails but no reply but as they say out of sight out of mind and its very true u need to contact them to know ur still in love with them and u want them back cause if u just dnt contact them they think u have given up

Danielle 3 years ago

i split up with my boyfriend of 5 years a week ago but i have alredy made the mistakes of harassing him and begging him, have i already pushed him away or could i still get him back? please some one help me im so confused!

Danielle 3 years ago

thankyou essy you have already made me feel better, after reading all these comments your a inspiration to loads of people who need someone to talk to thankyou

Rebecca 3 years ago

Hi Essy, I have just read your article and found it very interesting...and confusing I must admit! Here's the deal me and my ex were together nearly 2 and a half years, we were so happy together and in love! We had plans for getting married and having children. About 2 weeks ago however he finnished things claiming we weren't the same anymore. Which i admitted i did feel the same but personally i want to work on things where has he said it wont work!

In a way I understand what you are sayin about not contacting them for a while but at the same time i worry that if i don't he may get used to his new single life going out and enjoying things and then i will have lost my chance! Thing is another problem is that he has met these new friends which he claims is another reason we can't be together because all he wants to do is go out with them, he feels we will never see eachother but i have tried to explain to him he can have both but he won't listen!

Since we split he has been going out almost every night having a good time. Its as though this is how he wants things to be...so how can i get him to miss me if he is having a good time without me?! Please help...i am taking your advice for now and lessening the contact i have with him but i just worry that he may just enjoy his new life without me.

Also we have a holiday booked in 2months time so its hard not to keep in touch as we need to sort things out as to what to do. At first i wanted to cancel it but he said he still wanted us to go. Now we've switched places. I really want to go and believe it would do us good to get away alone, he says maybe i should go with a friend but it wouldn't feel right as it was booked for us! What do you think we should do?!

Any help would be very much appreciated and i think you are fantastic giving all this advice! I just hope you are able to help me because i honestly cannot live without this guy!

Many Thanks

Rebecca

mother of 1 3 years ago

So my boyfriend and i dated for 4 years, we have an 18 month old baby boy. I left him a couple of months ago, and now i realize that we both need him in our life. I cant stop thinking of him. I have made the mistake of texting him and telling that i want him back. Do you think i still have a chance? I really hope that i do!

dana shelton 3 years ago

hey essy,

3 weeks ago my bf of 2 years broke up with me. i say it was for no reason but it was bc i was getting lazy.. i was always an independant woman when we met. we met on myspace.. OUCH... but he was in japan for the navy and with in weeks we loved eachother i flew to japan to see him and it was love at first sight... 2 years later and tons of heartache now and a baby he ended it. we lived the whole married life living together and sharing finances, i will admit i have been pethetic and doing the whole crying and pleading noticing it doesnt do anything. we have hung out as friends a few times but then i get emotional lol.. i just cant help it , we share a 9mth old together and he sees her alot bc we actually live in the same appartment complex bc i moved in with my mom. he tells me he just wants to live life.... anyways even today he wants me to go to the dentist with him... how can i get him back and can he still have feelings for me??? he always wants to hug me and he says he loves me and he is not moving on but he talks to girls.... please help

kitty 3 years ago

hi i know essy can no longer give personal advice and i do believe that the advice she has given other girls through this page has been very useful! it has even helped me! but can anyone give me any tips on this situation i'm in?

well after 2 months of being broken up he accepted to go with me to a white sox game, and I know i wasn't supposed to call him or anything or seem interested...but he called me and I made it seem like he was my last option and that everyone else I had invited cancelled on me...(which was kind of the truth) and so we went and i underwent a mini makeover and when he saw me he noticed and he said "oh wow your hair looks really nice" and once we were at the park he said "well you look really really pretty today" and I said "oh no I don't" and he kept on insisting until I finally said "well thank you very much" and I followed essy's advice I didn't mention anything about our relationship and I smiled and I was very confident and I didn't try to hug him or kiss him or anything...Also afterwards we went out to eat and he told me to try what he had ordered and I said I didn't really like spicy food but then he cut it and tried to give me a piece of the food in my mouth with his fork, but I kind of pushed it away and took it from the fork with my hand and ate...and also afterwards he asked me if i wanted to go to his house because his favorite soccer team was playing on tv and he wanted to know if i wanted to watch it with him....so I said yes (well he was not alone or anything his family was home) and so when I was about to leave I said "well I had a good time today" and he said "me too etc." and then I put out my hands to give him a hug( but like a I was kind of just far away..not a close close hug) and he pulled me in and he gave me a

kitty 3 years ago

(story continued)

a long kiss on the cheek and he put his cheek for me to give him one...but I just said " oh well I have to really get going" and he seemed surprised...

well my goal was to try to get him to desire me and did i do the right thing?

also throughout the day he kept saying we should definitely do this again and that he really wanted to see me...and he kept talking about some of the really fun times we experienced together in the past...

but I don't know...I feel like what should I do now? he hasn't called me since then..which has been 3 days already...and he mentioned that his championship soccer game was the next day and he didn't even invite me to that! Oh I'm so confused....

can anyone give me advice? should I call him? what if he doesn't answer? is it too soon to call?

Lore 3 years ago

hello,My boyfriend broke op with me 3 weeks ago. he said his feelings were not that strong and that he loves me more like a friend than a girlfriend, he wanted to be friends and did not want to lose me, he was still very friendly but he just don't want to be in a relationship...He never told me about it, we had or discussions but i had never seen it coming. the first week I just wantet to talk about it and he was kind enough to anser my calls and said that i'm always welcome. after 2 weeks we meet again. sudenly he was so sweet but he's a man and he was still attactid to me so that day we did not only talk there was more... I thought he had his feelings back so I asked him. sinds then he only says that he don't want to get toghetter with me or anybody else and he just wants to be friends. So after that day I did not call or text him anymore, but on a day he came to tell me some good news on the chat for his musicband, so i just wished hime good luck. but after a copple of days i called him again and again. I read on the internet all the tips to ignore him en go on with your life and than you can wine him back. I just was so focust on the friendship because i don't want to lose him that i just break and went crazy and startet to call him again and again. so I puched him away.after that i said i wanted to talk, so i see him this friday.He was so nice but now he does not speak anymore, only when i ask him something. I'm just so scared that it is to late!I want to go to him to show him that i move on but that i can be fun and pretty so he sees what he's missing.I am almost shure that there is no other girl in his life, he just wants to have the time for himself. Is there still hope? can have some tips for friday?maybe it's my last chance to change he's mind so in the future he might miss me and wanting me back.Sorry for the tipefaults. I'm dutch so...

0k1509 3 years ago

Hi, I love your article. Just wondering if the same applies if your man needs space? My ex is depressed due to being laid off and a sports injury, so he had nothing going for him. He was very stressed and frustrated and got to the stage where he didnt care about life, he didnt want to see anyone/do anything, including spend time with me. He was snappy and moody all the time. He broke up with me saying he cant hurt me anymore, but he needs to sort his own life out and make himself happy before he can make me happy. I tried to tell him I wanted to support him and give him his space, but he said he just wanted to break up. He also said he really hopes we can get back together, he just cant promise how long it will be, and he likes to think if he would ever settle down with anyone, it would be me.

Any Advice?

Lacey 3 years ago

Hey! just 2 days ago, this guy told me he was done with me. he always used to say he misses me, & one day we haven't talked for the whole day and he said "i missed talking to you all day babe". we did kiss everyday in school a couple times a day. i told him i was falling for him and said me too. and he said he liked me too. he acted like he liked me, he was so nice to me and i was always happy. then he said that iwas being immature because i said something to this other girl he talked to. i told her i was sorry and we talked on the phone for 2 hours. he has been saying the same things to her. but he always said he cared about me. i don't know if he was lying to me or what. i liked him so much and i still do. i don't know if i should just give him time or what. i was always happy because of him. now when i pass him in the halls i have to hold myself back from crying. i've cried the night he told me and the past 2 nights. we've been talking for about 2 months, and i know thats not too long, but i never thought he would hurt me. do you think within a few weeks he'll realize he made a mistake? i at least wanna be friends for now and see where that goes. he just said the right things and i miss that. i miss everything. i really wanna tell him how i feel but i don't even know if he cares. my friends told me we will get through it together and i should move on. but honestly, i can't. please help!

Melanie 3 years ago

Hey Essy.

My boyfriend just broke up with me about a week ago. We turned long distance about a year ago and it's hard for us to handle. I've been super moody, he decided he can't take it anymore, so he broke it off. I was going to be moving there in June, not too far off.

I know i've been doing the wrong things to try and get him back. The texting, the emailing, etc.. He said I was pushing him more and more away and that he just needed time to think. He still loves me but he is just unsure at this point.

So my question is do you think the whole no contact thing will work in my case? I keep caving after Day 1 of no contact. I know when before when I did the no contact thing.. he came crawling back 2 weeks later, saying he missed me.. Do you think it's possible for this to happen again, if I leave him alone?

melanie 3 years ago

Ps..sorry forgot to add...

He blocked and deleted me from msn.. cause the last time we talked was arguing about us. I can't seem to stop talking about it. I really hope that didn't ruin my chance.. i'm thinking he just needs time to cool off.

Melanie 3 years ago

Sorry Essy. I didn't see your comment about not responding anymore. Disregard my question.

Thanks this article though!

Paula 3 years ago

HI Essy, here's my story!!

okay here we go will keep this brief! my partner of 14 years broke up with me at the end of jan, he then proceeded to move onto a new girly straight away..he has recently said to a close friend he regrets moving on so quickly, i was out of touch with him for 2 months, and then he started to contact me with some very relaxed and friendly emails.. dont get me wrong he is still with this other girly, he came to collect some of his stuff twice over the last 2 months and on both occasions.. has said he loves me, misses me, worries about me, thinks about me every day.. we openly hug and peck each other and hold each others hands when he is here, we touch each others skin and there is no repulsion, we have not slept together.. he writes down emotions that he cannot tell his new girly on a computer and passwords them, he loves hearing from me... he recently left for a head space trip to india for 4 months with new girly... and he called the day before he went telling me the same stuff and that he looks forward to watching a film together when he gets back, he cannot stand and does not want to handle me being with anyone else ( i am not), he breaks down and crys when we do meet up, he openly states on a bad days he thinks what the F*** have i done, but on a good day can see a future with new girly.. i am moving to a new place, his face lit up so big when i told him where... he says to a mutual girlfriend, that he really likes seeing me, as we are so comfortable together and get on so well, and that is plenty of raw emotion there still, he wants to be in touch whilst in india and says he will be thinking about me.. the new girly he is with, is a college student and they have known each other for a while, they got close when her father died... and he has been a rock for her ever since.. really... his last text to me before he flew to india with her: blah blah and being you, live life authentically,beautifully,amazingly, fully. love, care and compassion always!

NOW YOU TELL ME!!!

Wishes

Paula xx

sgirly 3 years ago

i'm 25, my ex fiancé is 27. we were together for 5 years, when he broke up with me. the cause is a result of a number of reasons. it has been 6 months since the break up. The first 3 months, i was in denial that it had happen and we maintain contact (verbal). i did beg and plead for another chance. i was an emotional mess and made sure he knew it. i contacted his family and friends...

as four months went by, i visited him. we hung out for 3 hrs. during that time we did not address the break up or me wanting to get back together. after that we didn't speak for 6 weeks.

3 wks ago i called him, the conversation casual. i want him back and now that we are on speaking terms, i don't know what to do next. he doesn't call, but answers my calls and engages in the conv... my plan is not to contact him for the next three weeks, as he has finals (med school) but to plan to see him after the exams.

any suggestions on how to proceed....

thanks,

Sgirlie

Jamie 3 years ago

Well my bf of 3 years couple months broke up because of long distance. I just recently moved states. For 3 years we were together and inseperable. Very happy. But he said he couldn't do the long distance. I know because he's already used to being physically apart from me because of the months apart so the 'making him miss me' part is a lot harder. I don't know if I should even try to get him back. I just love him so much and I don't know what to do.

He still wants to remain friends but I don't know how to. Where do I go from here. He also is coming up to visit me as a friend and i don't know how to act.

kitty 3 years ago

Hi,

WEll essy my ex boyfriend and I hung out again!!!! And he told me he had such a good time and all, and we even kissed just a little (but once again I pulled back and said I had to go... hehehehe and I could tell he still wanted to kiss) and once again he complemented me and what not, but he hasn't mentioned anything about getting back together :( he has mentioned that he wants to hang out again. I will wait until he calls me, and when we do hang out, should I mention anything about that kiss? and if it even meant anything to him? should i hint that it meant a lot to me? Well Essy I just want to say thank you soo much for your advice!! So far I feel like with your advice I am slowly winning him back!! :) and I know he still has feelings for me, I just need to seal the deal and win him over once and for all! Any other tips to just seal the deal? (OH and by the way, when we went out on Saturday he noticed that other guys were looking at me and he didn't even want to let me go to the washroom by myself- he stood outside the washroom and waited for me!!!)

well essy thanks a lot~!!!

Ansha 3 years ago

hi Assy

thanks for the great job you are doing.as everyone here me too i really want to get back with my ex boyfriend again. my boyfriend and i were together for almost 5 years. we were both happy.most of the time he was busy in his work but i never mind cause i knew he was working very hard and that he was sincere to me. he is the kind of serious guy and i know he would never do anything wrong.even when were together he would go to business trip several time and return, everything was just normal. then he decided to go abroad and work over there. he lives with a friend, his uni friend.now this friend of his is married but still go out with others girls also . i know him very well and i know he would not do anything such. but this friend of his present him girl and after a few months i started noticing that he has changed.when he came back he then told me everything and he know he was at fault. i was there sitting and crying. he hugged me tight and wipe my tears.i gifted him a golden chain that day had make it for . i really love him. i really didnt know wat to do till i came across this site.

it would really be nice of u if you could help cause he is all i have. thank u dr. i feel alone and desperate at times

Crymeariver 3 years ago

Hey girl. Thanks for giving some hope to an old romantic where everyone shuts us down.

My ex broke up with me two weeks ago. Everything was fine, he was very attentive, intro'd me to his family and friends, took me to eat, even plowed my driveway when it snowed! Cooked for me and so on. He began to withdraw suddenly and then became scarce, not answering txt. I did the worst thing possible and began to write cards and notes, burned him cds and gifts. It worked for a little while, we went out to dinner a couple times and were intimate and had a great time. He even wanted to take me by his friends. Then, it was over. In the end he was cold and said it wasnt me, it was how he is. I feel he is a committment phobic and has been in many short term relationships. He is older and divorced and I worry if he is still not over the pain of it. He is also dating another woman. As bad as it hurts, I dont think it will be serious.

The question is: did I drive him away for good by texting and begging? I truly believe in my heart he was very smitten with me and got scared it was getting too serious and broke it off. I love him very much and mad the mistake of telling him, my last words to him (we were intimate before I left and I ended up crying which frustrated him and he asked me to leave...but he also tried to give me a necklace of his and asked me not to hate.) 3 days later he was out with someone else.

As much as he has hurt me in the end, the good far outweighs the bad. I want him back desperatly and have decided to leave him alone. In the meantime, I have lost weight and am in the gym doing a transformation. I want distance between the old crying pathetic me into a new confident super buff person. Im not doing this all for him; it is my only thing I have to focus on now.

This summer in 2-3 months will be some big parties I know he will end up at. Is is sick to want to show up and look like the bomb? If so, how can it work? What if he thinks I am psycho. I promise I have ceased all calls and txts, but did I do damage? I love him so and I know he cared and shut off. What do I do?

Mira Mira 3 years ago

Hi Essy,

Here are my news; After a long time with no contact, he called to meet me and to have a walk. I accepted in a decent way, and I recognized that he was putting on his elegant clothes, his car was exceptionaly clean, like if he was preparing for this meeting carefully. He was very happy to see me, I saw it in his behaviour and in his eyes. After just half an hour I said that I have to go because I have things to do, he was surprised or maybe shocked. I was brave. hehehe

But later I think I made the mistake again by rushing. In the second date which was after a week from the first, I talked to him about the topic of our relationship. The first time we were laughing about the past and talking about it smoothly, but with no intentions.

The second time I offered him a present, restarted the topic again and explained to him how much I love him and that I will always love him even if we were apart... (I admit that it was a BIG mistake). First he said: I am not ready to talk about that... (I should have stopped, but I didn't).

Today, he called and I asked him if I can travel with him in his next exhibition trip, and he said that he will be busy + why do I want so?I said because it's normal, but he wasn't convinced. I recognized that he is still phobic, and he still didn't forget the bad time.

After this call, I had to send him an sms excusing myself that I openned the topic, said that i shouldn't and I mentioned something related to work (just to change the topic and to be neutral).

Now I am feeling very sad, because I was expecting that he will come back to me quickly.

I am so believing in my love to him, I need him back and ready to wait and do whatever it takes to win his love back.

Any further advices will help me very much. Thanks

hinesb_7@hotmail. 3 years ago

ok i love my ex so much and i know he still has feelings for me..we have been through so much together...personal things.

so he wanted a break cuz what i had done truly hurt him..and NO i didnt cheat on him becuase i know most people reading this would think that.

We didnt really talk for a month. Then we started talking and hanging out again. We had plans on getting back together after he graduates this year.

Well then we got into a stupid little fight and he started ignoring me. so i kind of freaked out on him. That apparentely he said really hurt him...again. After that we didnt talk for a couple weeks but then he called me and we started talking again. Then more drama happened and i got mad at him becuase he was accuseing me of saying stuff when i did not. I told him that i didnt want to talk to him right now so he hung up on me. I tried calling him back but he didnt asnwer.

I want to call back but im afraid that he wont answer and i will look like a stalker so i just havent called him. Hopeing that he will call me.

He has told people that he still likes me, he said that he is just confused and dont know what he wants right now, becuase hes going through a hard time right now at home and some other things.

I dont know what to do i just want to be with him again.

Any advice for me??

bristi sen 3 years ago

hi Essy..i m Bristi from India. hav u heard of India? its in Asia.i liked ur article very much..bt i did the mistakes...like cryin for him,calling him or mailing him,trying to be in contact with him. but now after reading ur article i m determined to be strong...and to maintain a distance from him. but my problem is a bit different. my exboyfriend is now dating another girl. is there any chance to get him back in this situation??? if yes , then how??? i mean is there any rules or steps to follow. please let me know. my e-mail id is bristi.s1@gmail.com

sgirly 3 years ago

Hi i previously wrote, but haven't gotten any respond...

should you have the time please take a look at my post and tell me what you think, i would greatly apreciate it...email me at saddgirlie@yahoo.com

thank you again

CryMeARiver 3 years ago

Essy,

I took your advice and bought a course on how to get my ex back. It is by Bob Grant. It did pep me up a bit, but I still worry that I did damage in the last few days (texting, calling, dropping by, begging). He was pretty dead set on the break up. Im trying to stay proactive, in the gym daily, tanning, working on my own confidence and working hard not to talk about him publicly (the biggest obtacle, even though I have never trashed him).

It will be three weeks on Tuesday and it seems like an eternity. My emotions are all over the place! It seems I cant get a mental break from "him". I have won some battles though...I even had a message typed to go to him, via text over the weekend, and thought about what you said and canceled it! But, I have a serious uphill battle. Can I send you an email?

To everyone else, stay strong. In this difficult period try to focus on you...be proactive daily. And remember nothing worth having is easy.

Danielle 3 years ago

I dont know if this will help me but it might. I was wondering do you think it will if my x-boyfriend broke up with me cause i was busy and couldnt call him back or answer my ph. and cause i didnt know he was calling me?

Southernbelle 3 years ago

Essy,

Hey I read your article and it seems to be bullet proof so to say. Meaning anyone can do it.

However call me crazy, but the guy I want back I have talk to maybe 3 or 4 times since 2006. I tried moving on and that ended up in me getting pregnant. However I didn't get pregnant until 2008.

But that is not the point. My point is he threw me up against a brick building 2 days after I left him. He showed up to my school and without realizing what happened that day got mad cause he saw me walking with a male friend and threw me up against the building.

But deep down I know that he isn't the abusive kind. I have known him since I was 9 and he was 16. We started dating when I was 18. I am now 22. I met him through my brother. I want him back but he hates me. And the reason for that is because he was given a year restraining order anda year probation for doing that.

But another thing is if I were to get him back he wouldn't just have me. He would also have my daughter. Please help!!

Southernbelle

mays 3 years ago

hi thanks 4 the tips but my problem that my ex bf sent me msg asking about my news...i dont know if he want me back or what??? how can i know???

kitty 3 years ago

hey essy so my exbf and i are going to hang out this saturday..bc we are going to celebrate my sister's graduation..so it's going to be a group of friends ..we are going to a club...so my question is..should i dance with other guys? but what i'm worried about is that i know he will get mad and he will go and ask other girls to dance..and that would tear me to pieces!! but i want to make him jealous!! but i know he would dance with others if i did! i mean i'm going to do what you told me ..about telling him i have a friend who is very awesome and interested in me and what not..but i just need advice on wat to do for this saturday!! should i dance with him how we used to (like all close and what not) or just as friends..and be distant ?(and by now it's been a little over two months since he broke up with me...do i still have hope?)..and after that kiss the other day..i was a little scared that he would never want to talk to me again..but no..we talked a week after that and he agreed to go out this saturday..but i don't know..is it okay that i'm the one who is always asking him to go out? is it okay that we only talk like once a week?

-thanks for all your help essy!

kitty 3 years ago

hi essy i emailed you how it went...you'll be very surprised! please help!

Ashleigh 3 years ago

I wish I would of read this before I messed everything up. I didn't take the pity tactic but I took the not caring ex-girlfriend (stilling sleeping with him). Till I walked in on him one night while I was drinking. I was devistated. I blew up. I couldn't believe that after he broke up he proceed to do that to me. I asked him repeatedly if i was his only sex partner because I don't believe in multiples and he swore i was the only one. Then after that I haven't spoke to him. I still want him back but I don't know if it's a smart decision it's only been 2 wks since i caught him and a month since we broke up. But anyways, great article. But i don't think there's any advice you could give me to get him back.

ares 3 years ago

hello. my guy likes me and a few days ago he even said he loves me but then he said he feels very commited and so i suggested a short break. now i want him back. he is a pretty good looking guy and there are girls whom like him. he also goes clubbing and there he dances with other girls. he doesnt have any feelings for them apart from the fact that when the beat is there, he just likes to dance.im not a controlling person and i encourage him to dance as i understand that guys need some fun. but he feels guilty after doing all this and thats why he thinks he's not ready for a relationship. another factor is also because since we're unofficially together, like, really low profile, we don't publicise our relationship. so when other girls ask him is he attached, he would answer no (thats what we agreed on) and then the girls will start flirting with him because he's good looking but he can't flirt back so he always leave early and sometimes he feels guilty to me about it. so it seems like, he doesn't have much time with his friends (whom are mostly girls). he is also receiving pressure from his clubber friends whom asks him what the hell is he doing clubbing when he has someone already. i dont want him to be sad and stuff so i told him lets take a break. and then he just told me that he doesnt feel that he is ready for a relationship.

however, he still misses me and likes me. he doesnt say it out unless i ask him. but the way he treats me is very nice. although he try to keep his distance as in no touching and no keep hanging out with me and stuff like that. but he still treats me better then the other girls. and he knows i like him and still think about him. i guess the only thing stopping him is he is afraid of commitment. what should i do? i want him back. i'm willing to fight for us. i know he likes me but i dont know how to get him back! help!

kate.ares@hotmail.com

cla 3 years ago

hey essy. i just send u my problems to ur email..please help me..thanks a lot.. (my email is clarinlicious@hotmail.com).

nicole sinead 3 years ago

ok so....my boyfiend Alex and I had been dating about a year and 2 months. My longest relationship ever. I'm going to be honest I took advantage of him and didn't appreciate our realtionship and how good he was to me, I fought with him too many times to count and I regret it more than anything I've ever regretted in my life. He recently went on a trip to Vegas to visit his cousins and he hasn't been back in almost a week, he's barely talked to me while he has been up there and is telling me that he's contimplating moving over there because there is too much drama with his family down here in California. he told me he still wants to be with me, then he tells me he's confused, then he says he loves me, then he said he just wants to be friends and that he needs time to himself. I don't know what to do??? I'm trying REALLY hard to stop my evil ways and really appreciate everything he had to offer. What should I do??? This is the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. I love him and I want him back. Any advice???

Jenni 3 years ago

So I came along your page and saw all of the questions people had for you and you actually responded so i'm going to give this a try. I dated this guy we will call him Michael for 2months (not long at all) We had a ton of chemistry and so much fun together, during the last couple weeks of our relationship i was kinda moody and couldn't figure out why. Well I figured out why I'M PREGNANT...the day after i told "Michael" I'm pregnant he breaks up with me stating that he hasn't felt the same about me for a while and that he lost feelings for me and he is interested in someone else. Of course I'm not only devastated because of the unplanned pregnancy but he is also leaving me for someone else so I cry and beg and plead non of which help of course. I am keeping our baby because I'm financially and emotionally capable of raising a child so abortion isn't an option. I really want him back in my life more then a father of his child but also as my partner. Do you have any advice for me to get my ex boyfriend back especially with me being pregnant and everything? I have backed off ALOT over the past couple weeks I went on a week long beach vacation and have been spending alot of time with my family...am i on the right track?

samantha 3 years ago

Hi there, My boyfriend just broke up with me a week ago and I might be pregnant with his child (this he knows) He still talks to me, he told me it wasn't my fault the relationship ended and that I was great. He's just going through a hard time not knowing is he is going to jail or not on june 2nd. When we first started dating he told me all about this and I told him I would stick by his side, so why did he break up with me knowing that I wanted to be there for him? He broke up with me about 2 days before my grandmothers funeral, and my best friend left and might not want anything to do with me. My boyfriend and I only had a short relationship but it was amazing, I could talk to him about anything and I believe he felt the same way. How do I get him back with my situation? please feel free to email me at somodi_12 @ hotmail . com (without the spaces) with a response.....thank you.

lore 3 years ago

hello essy! I understand it's hard to keep this up! 2 months ago I told you that my boyfriend broke up with me and after 2 weeks we slept togheter. After a month I seem to get my life back on track and I was doing fine! I met a great boy who is a really good friend. My ex was beginning to ask me about it and said that he met a woman who is 6 years older and that he's in love with here and kissed. I said that i was happy for him and that i hope that it is gonne work out and stuff! a week later I had a message from him, he was very angry! because he said that he broke up with me but that he still truely loved me and he still cares. but that we had the same discusstions over and over en that he was just to much for him. That he never thought that it hurts this much and that he was being an ass because he did not wanted me to still try to get him back and he wanted that i moved on with my life without him and that he will get true the pain. after a while we began to talk on the phone and I met him on a night with friends, he was the one who made contact with me that night over and over again. I was to happy and talkt about this, I think it scared him so we talk less. after that i met him on a night out and he asked me if i wanted to drink something with him later that evening. he had a very good time and wants to do this more ! I asked him if i can see him before he got to learn for school and he said that if i want i can go to meet him at his place. but he has a fight with his prarents ad home and it does not go well for e few weeks now. He's very unhappy and don't want's to talk about it and so we have not that much contact now. He said to me that he does not want other girl that he want's to be alone, but that he still maybe like's me and stuff. he said to a friend that he still loves me very much and to a girl that i know that he still has srong feelings for me. again I talk to him about it he did not say that it wansn't true but he just can't say those words to me i think. It scares him. Now we came so far... I try to make no contact for a while and hope he's doing better at home and school because it's gowing very bad! but...If he still says to people he loves me after he broke up with me and after to weeks. how can i prove him that we can try again? If maybe other people have aan anwser please tell me!! it was going better and better, now it's just time i think. after this schoolyear we made a deal to meet again. but I don't know if he would still feel the same way than. thx for all the advice

marley 3 years ago

i want my ex-bf back. he tells ppl that he dsnt want to get back together or be friends. i say "oh ok" when they tell me this, but whenever i see him, he always looks at me. we do track together so i am always cheering him on, but i cheer everyone on not just him. i dont kno wut to do right now. i need ur advise, so, wut do i do about my ex-bf???

Beth81 3 years ago

Hi Essy,

I've just split up with my boyf. We were together for a very short space of time, however it became very intense very quickly. I miss him desperately, which is why I have been trawling the internet for advice and I am grateful that I cam across your site.

I hope that with these steps as noted in your advice to other ladies, that we might be able to make another go of things.

Anyway, I completed understand that you are not in a position to respond to individual concerns, however I still want to thank you for providing such an informative and hopeful site.

All the best

Emily  3 years ago

hey there,

just a week ago, i had to break up with my bf... there was a girl who told me false info bout him cheating on me... now i feel like i killed him! he wont talk to anyone, he is depressed, and crys! i really like him but all my guy friends cussed at him and told him not to talk to me again!! we were at the dance, and this girl likes him... she told me he said "Anna was the hottest girl there". turns out he didnt say that! i broke up with him and know now it was wrong. how do you get him back, it you broke up with him??? i mean he lives right next door and our parents are friends... but, will it be awkward??? help!!

Ashley 3 years ago

I know you probably can't help me because you are so busy, and I understand this. but I just have a question about your method. Two years ago I had to ask him about, it was never the other way around because hes such a shy person, and he said that all he wants is for me to be happy. Well if i act happy and strong about the break up, isn't he just going to want me to keep being away from me because he thinks it makes me happy? and also if he was too shy to ask me out in the first place, how is he really going to make the first move this time! don't i NEED to show him i love him and be clingy?? i mean seriously, what am I supposed to do?? do i still do your advice? is there still hope????

Shannon 2 years ago

My ex- boyfriend and I met through mutual friends and within a week of getting to know each other, we hit it off and he asked me to be his girlfriend. In about a month into our relationship, I started to get pissed off and even a bit psycho when it came to texts because he would take a long time to reply and I felt justified because most of my friends boyfriends or guys they dated would text practically constantly. It was because he had a job, but I felt he could reply at lunch break or at least be semi- extremely sorry it took so long to reply. I really liked my boyfriend, so I would feel very sorry for texting several times. He started to improve when I almost broke up with him over it. Then about two weeks before our 2 months, his brother who has cancer was told he only had a few months to live. In the past year, he's had 2 friends and 1 family member who died, so I knew it'd be extremely hard for him. I was ready to never complain about texts and be his number 1 support in his rough times. But he broke up with me. He said it would be very tough to have a girlfriend and go through this. He said he didn't want me out of his life, and if it were a better time in his life, he would want me. I became very good with contact and only texted once or twice a week how are you doing? Then we hung out because we have mutual friends. He texted me that night saying I was the best part of his night. Then the next week we ended up hanging out again. We have great chemistry and always end up flirting, so it was no different that night. We finished a few of each others sentences as corny as that sounds. My friends even told him behind my back that we were cute together. The next day he asked me to hang out and I said yes. And the night before he had texted me that I looked really good and he wanted to kiss me. So we hung out just the two of us and it was nice and I feel like how I liked him before, it has just grown about ten times. And this night he kept saying things like we should do this, we gotta do that. However, he never tried to kiss me. He's always been shy, but I thought if he really wanted to, he could have. Because of his brother and because I'm enjoying the connection that we are having presently, I don't want to say anything I shouldn't or pressure him in any way, but I want him to kiss me and I want him to be mine. What do I do?

Kayla 2 years ago

I know you've been really busy and all so if you don't have time to respond I understand. My ex and I were together for the first year of college. I went to see him over summer and everything was wonderful and we were talking a lot on aim basically everyday. The next day we talked on aim and things were still great I had thanked him for buying me lunch and he said " I do it cause I love you" and then the next morning he broke up with me claiming it's really hard to have a girlfriend over summer and I just am not sure what to do about it because it was so random. I haven't talked to him since and it's been about a week and a half. I think he did it because he is working at an all boys camp and was leaving the weekend after we broke up and I think he thought he wouldn't have time or something. So at first I deleted him from my facebook and myspace but recently added him back on facebook saying " I hope we can remain friends especially since we have a lot of friends in common" and he added me back. Is there anything else I should do? I really want him back and you know I want him back soon and I'm not sure if I aim with him or anything?

sarah 2 years ago

Hey, i was wondering if you could give me some advice please. I have recently split up with my boyfreind well 6 weeks ago. when we split up he rang me and said we had been arguing alot latly and he wanted some time alone and wants to be single (at this time his grandmother had died aswell). Well i completly broke down in tears asking him if he still loved me and would we ever get back together; he said he loved me still and always would n thought i was amazing. And said if i give him a couple of months 2-3 that we might get back together. And he told his sisters the same.

Its been 6 weeks already, he text me about 2 weeks ago and said sorry for not contacting me and he was getting a new number and would give it me and hoped i was ok and things. He hasnt passed me his new number and im having serious doubts whether we will get back together.

I love him so much i dont want to let go, i havent contacted him as he told me he needed space and time to think cos his head was "messed up" what he said to his sisters as well. He is still single and hasnt met anybody, and hasnt got many friends and doesnt get out alot.

Can you give me your opinion on whether or not you think we will get back together, i dont want to lose him.

Btw i also saw his sisters the other week at shopping and they said i looked amazing, lost weight n genuanly looked nice; i hope they told him that!

please comment back as i need some reliable help x

Angela 2 years ago

I have read all the comments and responses here. I was wondering if these tactics work for a dating relationship? Meaning that we were dating and not in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. My guy decided to end things this Monday night and I am devastated. We were only together for 4 months but have known each other longer. I know, not that long. He didn't really have a strong foundation relationship wise in his past. He is confused and going through lots in his life now. School, family, work and etc. Since we were not committed yet and we were trying to see where this would lead, he went on dates with two girls. He is now going out with a girl he met couple of weeks ago. He has strong feelings for me but thought that in the four months, he was feeling the same as he did when we first got togther which is not actually a bad thing because if he lost interest, then that would be bad. I am confused. He thinks because of that, we have no future. I know Essy, you are busy and cannot answer everyone's detailed question but I wanted to know if the steps here will work for a dating relationship and if I have a chance of getting him back. I want him back and can't stop crying. I think he is the one. He is not ready to settle down and get married at the moment but eventually he will. He cares for me deeply and my feelings were always important to him from the beginning. Unfortunately we are students in the same class so it will hurt to see him. We were inseperable and were very happy together. Please advise if these steps will work and if there is a chance that I can get him back. I would like to send you an email but I am not sure if you will have time to answer it. I will but I will make it short and not bother you will the nitty gritty details. Thank you essy. I hope to hear from you. I need all the advice I can get. I will follow the tips you outlined here and hope for the best. It's been four days since we brokeup and I feel like I cannot move on. The tears will not end.....Much thanks Essy and hope to see a response if you are able to provide.

Angela 2 years ago

Essy,

I just emailed you and tried to ask my questions without bogging down with too much details. I hope to hear from you.

Forgot to say that I've used these tips in the past and on someone before my current guy that just broke up with me and they work. The other guy I only dated for two months and I used the above tips (as my way to move on) and this guy has came running back to me but I had moved on and had fell in love with the one that just broke my heart. This one that broke my heart, we've been together longer and I've known him for awhile, does that increase my chances of us getting back together? My guy that just broke my heart, hasn't been in a serious relationship for five years and told me that he is sometimes not sure how to act in relationships. I need advice. thank you or for those that are members here and want to comment on my situation.

Britt 2 years ago

Ok, so my ex broke up with me on June 26th. I def. did the whole calling him repeatedly and texting him thing. Our big issue was my "out of control" drinking. So, I have stopped drinking and going out, but he says that isn't enough, and that only time will tell. And so he wants to be friends. After a huge blow up where he turned his phone off and blocked me on facebook, I have agreed to be friends. But I still miss him. Oh, and he lives in Greece. He moved back at the beginning of June.

Is there any possible way I can make this work? I really want to get back together with him. I am going to law school in the fall, and the whole plan was that I could visit him over xmas break, and he could come here a few times a year.

We talked yesterday and he said he misses me and he still loves me. So should I just limit my contact for the next couple of months or what? I mean at one point he dangled in front of me that if I was a "good girl" for the next few months then he didn't see why we couldn't get back together... So what should I do?

Britt 2 years ago

My boyfriend of 3 years (been off and on for 8 years) broke up with me june 22nd while i was on vacation. After we broke up i didnt talk to him the whole week and then the day i came back we hung out and everything was fine...well we have hung out everyday since then and up until yesterday i had a feeling things might change. We went to a concert together on the 4th of July and acted like we were together. Everything (and i mean everything if you get me) is still the same. we are basically together without the title. Well yesterday he had the day off and i had to work. He ended up going over this girls house that he swears is "just a friend" but the thing is he met this girl right after we broke up and he met her because she came to his work to get her oil changed. I have a feeling he is lying to me and its more than just friends, but he swears it is. he said if it turns into more than yeah but he doesnt think it will. shes older than him and i just feel like i have no chance. he wants to hang out tonight but i feel like its just because she has to work. what should i do to get my man back? i feel like it might be too late already because i blew his phone up yesterday with all these questions about where he was who he was with and yelling at him for being with her. is there anything i can do to solve this or atleast try to? thanks!!!

kim 2 years ago

hi essy! wow i'm so guilty of those harassing sms and phone calls.. lol

btw, my ex broke up with me because i lied to him so many times.. well it was all petty.. on our first month, he asked me if i had a facebook account, i told him no i dont have but he found out that i had a one-year account in fb.. so i apologized and he forgave me..

the latest fight we had that led to a horrible break up was when i lied about accessing his email.. i tried accessing his email before but i told him about it.. he got upset but he said he loved me more than his email lol..

but this time, i lied and lied some more to cover up the lie i made..

he said his sister was getting him stuff online for his bday.. so i was cool with it and i was happy for him.. then one day i was curious.. i'm working as a tech support in one of the biggest ISPs in america, and my ex happens to be one of our customers.. so as a tech support, i have an access to his homepage (yahoo homepage) although i couldn't get in to his email.. in the homepage, there was a yahoo mail preview and i found out that he was the one who ordered all of those things..i know it was none of my business but i was a lil upset about not telling me the truth.. instead of asking him if he was the one who ordered those stuff online, i accused him of forwarding me the confirmation message of his orders he made online.. i told him that he sent it through his rocketmail account.. he knew i was lying.. he doesn't have a rocketmail account.. i just made it up:( he said all he wanted me to do was to tell him the truth and he would forgive me.. but i did not.. i made up a rocketmail account under his name!(horrible i know) and took a screenshot and sent it to him.. he found out that it was fake..i admitted my mistake but that was too late.. he told me to just leave him alone...

i was so guilty.. i didn't know why i did that.. that was just so pathetic..

after the break up, i posted a blog entry to my personal blog.. sent him letters and cards through mail (express mail), sent him emails...

i never got any reply from him.. i found out that he received my letters but he never contacted me..

three days after, he sent me offline messages telling me that he wasn't angry at me anymore but he didnt know if he would be able to go out with me again.. he told me that he will be online in a day or two to see me..

after a day or two, i waited.. but he never came online.. i called his sister (because he wasn't picking up my calls since we broke up) only to find out that he was sleeping..

two days after, he went online and we talked.. we both missed each other a lot.. i found out that he was avoiding me because he knew that he would go back out to me if he hears my voice or sees me online that soon..

he said he still loves me so much but he can't take me back anymore..

he doesn't have another girl.. he said he'll be around until i find another guy..

he wants me to find another guy and move on with my life

we used to talk everyday but now he only wants to meet me online on my days off..

he wants to find another guy but i know he still gets jealous and i can tell that he still loves me a lot..

do you think it's still possible to take him back?can you tell me what to do?:)

banana 2 years ago

Essy I really need your help. Unfortunately I agree 100% with what you said about giving him distance and not calling and acting confident and making him work for it when he does decide he wants me back BUT even though I knew all of this very well before I let my emotions get the best of me and I threw it all out on the line when we broke up. I texted him like crazy and told him how much I missed him and how I haven't felt like this about anybody in a long time etc etc. I harassed him so much for a day or 2 he actually called me nuts. Before we broke up he was SO into me in every way possible and treated me like gold. I know for sure that he did have strong feelings for me in the past.

He works out of town and comes home every 2 weeks. After we broke up he did try to text message me and phone me 1 time each when he got back to town for his week off but I didn't answer his call and I only said "good you?" when he asked how I was doing in the text message. Some more time has passed and he is still away in town. I read an article similiar to yours that also says to give space but that says I should act like I want to be friends and ask him to do something laid back like golfing etc. Well 2 days ago he was online so I struck up a convo and he was asking me lots of things about how I was doing. I ended up casually saying that we should go "tubing down the river" when he gets home and he was all for it. He also told him that I should save him some of the chili I was making that night for him next time I make it. When I ended the converstation (yes I made sure I ended it first) he told me to have sweet dreams and then he also said goodbye again later when my status was on "away" after he logged off. I didn't go online yesterday because I didn't want him to think I was waiting around. My questions for you are:

1) Do you think I still have a chance with him even though I played the desperate card I know I shouldn't have in the beginning as long as I stick to the rules now

2) What do I do now? When should I go online next? What should I say?

Loved your article

Thank-you so much!!

Abby 2 years ago

Hey!

I read your article and immidiatly related to the advice! It's ncie to have a some input from someone whoa ctually knows what they are talking about :)

So now for my dilema, (haha)

Four years ago I became bestfriends with Cameron. A few months into our friendship we decided to date and it went really well for a while. For the next three years, we dated off and on and remained bestfriend in between our dating. At one point we stopped being friends because we were both jelous of eachother dating, but he wouldn't commit specifically to me. Now, we have mended our friendship adn are hanging out very frequently again. It's ncie to have my bestfriend abck and of coarse we still have the chemistry for dating. He drops VERY obvious hints to me about getting back together but I am terrified. We have better chemistry than most people these days and I am still head over heels in love with him. In the past he ahs taken me for granted, and I have done the same to him. We are older now and i'm at the point in my lfie were i want something more permanant. The last time i spent time with him he called afterward and said he wanted to "talk about us. NOT IN A BAD WAY :)" If he does approach the dating situation how can I respond to amke him know i'm serious this time, with our him running away?

So the REAL question is, what can i do, if anything, to get him to take me seriosuly and want to date seriously instead of ending up like every other time? Is there any suggestions you have?

Thank you so much for taking time to read this :)

-Abby

jane smith 2 years ago

Hey essy, I know you are busy and hectic. Me and my boyfriend broke up a week ago, but he s wanted to break up with me because he felt nothing common between us and he felt I couldn't un derstand him. On that night I kept begging him but he insisted but surprisingly enough he walked to rest room and cried a lil bit. As he saw I was too sad he stayed over. I kept crying for few more hours and he hug me and jus said sorry to me and said wouldn't work out. We only dated for few months but I really love him. Before he left he gave me a hug and kiss me on my cheek.Since I work for his mum I see him almost few times a week. Few days after broke up he saw me and look so weird. I proposed to him to act nothing ever happen between us and he ddin't look to happy but yet he agreed with me. He looked very nervous but tried to act normal. I try to act not sad although deep inside I'm so hurt.

Is there any possibility fr us to be together?? Does he not like me anymore?? He admitted he still like me the day we broke up but he said we just not suitable to be with each toher. Also as i forgot he was very mad as I'm a waitress there r many guys try to take touchme, hug me and kiss me. He wa smad as I ddin't dare to do anything.

I really love him.

Thanks for your attention.

Ashley 2 years ago

Hey Essy,

My boyfriend and I just broke up about 2 and a half weeks ago. It was a pretty serious relationship, he was living with me and when we got into a fight he moved back in with his parents. We didn't talk for a few days. One day I went to take a shower and my mom went onto my facebook and sent a message saying that she could ruin his life and stuff like that that triggered him to break up with me. We were together for nine months and he said that was the reason he broke up with me. And I have been in contact with him since, and I asked if there's ever a chance for us to get back together and he said he needs time to think. I'm not sure what to do. I'm really worried that he'll chose someone else. While we were in a relationship he was very flirtatious with other girls, and he knew it too. I'm just worried he won't take me back, and I'd like to start from scratch. Whenever i bring anything close to a relationship up, he says he doesn't want to talk about it.

dakota 2 years ago

me and my boyfriend had gone out for 2 years and were bestfriends before that. During our 11 months my dad passed away and everything began going down hill. i changed as a person and he did to. afterall we are still young 17 and 18 year olds. He broke up with me a week ago. i've been crying since. the worst part my dad's aniversery for his one year of passing away is in 6 days. i thought he would be there to support me. my boyfriend closed all doors on me...internet, phone, even seeing me in person. im devestated and i dont know we broke up because me and his sister got into an argument and she over exxagerated the whole thing and he chose family over me. me and him were so in long everyone knew it. im torn apart and i've been trying to get a hold of him for a week and texting him non stop but now i have read this is there any chance for me...still:(

Melissa 2 years ago

Hey, I thought I'd ask you for advice on my situation. My ex and I have been separated for about 6 weeks. We were each other's first loves and were happy together. The reasons for our breakup? He didn't think he wanted to marry me... or what I translate that to is, I'm 23, I want to date around before I commit my life to one girl. We were happy together, but for some reason he bowed out. At first I was all depressed abuot it, but as of about 2 weeks ago, I just started not contacting him in any way. During this period, he has been contacting me at least once every 2-3 days... and like this past weekend he called me at 11 pm saturday night... and sent a text right after that was like "ignore that call, I'm just drunk and dumb". I know for a fact he was out at a party with friends, so how can I interpret this? I know he still thinks about me, and I still want to be with him, but I can't bring myself to talk to him unless I know he wants to get back together. Is he just reacting to not having heard from me? His other contact is usually sending me friendly messages with links to sites he thinks I'll like, or asking me how I'm doing. Maybe he just feels guilty for breaking my heart and wants to make sure I am ok? PS- we dated for 2.5 years.

Thanks for any insight

Bliss 2 years ago

Hi Essy,

My colleague of 1 year and I had been dating each other for 1.5 yrs now. I had some trust issues when he announced he wont be able to marry me bcoz of religious difference. But I loved him way too much 7 lost my virginity to him by then. I just couldnt bring myself to leave him.

We used to have fights and he started talking to our married co-worker. I used to keep asking him about it but he refused to share any details. It continued for 8 months and we broke up in April. We met in London since we both were on an assignment together and stayed together.

In the meanwhile, he got engaged to some girl he has never met since his parents thought she is the right one.

Now both of us are back, but he keeps talking to the married gal. I know its a bit of flirting and I consider it cheating. He is getting married in Dec.

I cant get over him and I want him to love me. He said he loved me and I was his best friend but he doesnt trust me aymore. How do I change that ? I wont break his home. But he is getting married next year and I want to spend some nice time with him before that.

KMK_lost 2 years ago

Well me and my ex broke up about 4 months ago and I can't get him off my mind...some of the tip u said are pretty much what I did I gave him his space...and he still hates me I got a email from him in june saying that he wanted me back but he wanted me to drive an hour and a half so that we could talk things out...I never went because I dont have a car anymore.but before that he told me that he still loved me and that i still hold his heart..we were in the process of getting married in 2010 until he broke it off.He always told me that he would never leave me hold me he would hold me so close it's like everything in the world is gone but us two..and everything I do I can't stop thinking about him I have a new BF and everytime I am with my new BF I keep on picturing that he is my old Ex BF My new BF is so clingy and a little obsessive It makes me want my Old BF more in a normal relationship people have their dis agreements unlike me and my new BF we never had a fight I miss having fights I love my old BF with all my heart and I think that he is the only guy that I ever loved and that I want to be with..I can't eat or sleep it's killing me I feel hopeless

babychelle678 2 years ago

my boyfriend and I just broke up after a year and he said he lost feelings for me. Staying strong is really hard, but it's the right thing to do. Besides if your ex was being needy to you I'm sure you'd find it annoying. Something I do is keep him guessing. My ex asks me what I'm doing and I always say I'm going out somewhere. It makes him wonder with who, and it shows him I'm not home all wasting my tears over him.

kt c xx  2 years ago

Wish id read this like 2years ago!! Mad but my ex is moving in the next month wer barely in contact and he only lives round the cornor, hurts when we see each other we always try to make the other one jealous n couple of times have ended up arguing, Hes still in my head thought. Then again a fell for him when i was 17 and now im 21. In a way ive got to move on! Theres a reason we arnt together and who knows maybe my prince charming is round the cornor right? (Even tho i started going out wit a guy 2weeks ago n dumped him cos he was nothing compared to my ex!!!) Ohh complicated! Lol x

cowboyluver247 2 years ago

well im only 12 and me and my ex really loved each other so much i have prayed every night asking god 4 him back but right now he is dating one of my bestfriends and her and i were really close but we r not even friends anymore but he says he misses me and still likes me but yesterday he told me he didnt like me so i got 2 stop txting him right? Im so confused

carly 2 years ago

hi essy,

after four days of being without him and spending my time crying about him and contemplating messaging him all the time, i have decided that in order to get him back, i have to try the one method that everyone seems to be telling me to do; not contact him.

I am, however, so afraid of doing this because i'm starting to think that after i stop contacting him, he won't try to contact me back. He is very stubborn and has a lot of pride so i'm starting to think that he will eventually just begin to really want to move on without me!

what should i do? should i just go with it? or be 'cautious' about it??

THANKS!!

Emily 2 years ago

I dated a man for about five months and knew he was the one. I would've asked him to marry me even. But I did a few things to mess it up and lost some of his trust and we ended up going seperate ways. Although that has been almost 8 months ago, we still hang out every couple months and feel he does it out of boredom for some reason. I want this man back but I clearly won't pressure anyone into anything. Quite frankly, I wouldn't want a man that I have to talk a relationship upon them. So, could you be so kind and maybe give a few pointers how I could show him I'm all about him. I'm so lost!

V/r,

Emily

Adele 2 years ago

hi :) i thought this was really helpful...but any other advice on my situation would be great! :)

Basicly me and my ex just broke up a few days ago. We have been together for only 8months and already had a one weeks break. i have noticed that he tends to chnage his reason for us ending....he told me that his feelings wasnt as strong anymore...and then said the reason we are not together anymore is due to the fact that everytime we argue we are back at breaking point,,and he cont cope wiht it anymore. The thing is, i feel like he has given up too soon on our relationship which was really strong, but i suppose i had hit the last straw for him when we last argued and he ended it. He says he wants us to get on..and also that he doesnt feel he wants the relationship anymore. I know they is somthing still their as feels cannot just disappear..but if they have they can come back and i want him to see that. Any other advice on how to get him to listen to me about not giving up or anythin would be great...ty :)

Stacey 2 years ago

Hi, i know you get sooo many comments and questions but hopefully you will be able to help me too... Me and my boyfriend split 18months ago after a 3 year relationship, i didnt think i was ever going to get him backn after the break up so i moved on and accepted it. we split up before as we were constantly together and then he started to ignore me and wnt to spend more time with his best friend than with me. Hes in the raf so was only home at weekends at that point so i found it hard and we argued alot. after the breakup i found a new partner and so did he. we both split from our partners and somehow got talking again. i have never lost any feelings or love for this man and stil feel the exact same way about him. when we first started talking again it was just normal friend stuff, going out for drinks etc, but shortly after he got posted to afghanistan and i had to spill the beans to him on how i felt. he was shocked but asked if we could talk when he got back on his weeks break. i had heard from all members of his family that he stil loves me and is so happy that we were gonna be back together, talking about settling down etc. He came back and we didnt have the talk til 4days later, i felt like a lost sheep wanting to be with all the time, which is where i think i went wrong. we got back together and he spent 2nights at mine, then later that day after the second night he ended it saying it was dayjavoo and it would happen again adn that it didnt feel right. i just cant understand why he would pour his heart out to his entire family for weeks crying to his mum cos he was soo full of regrets from ending it before. now hes done it again. 2 days after he split with me he had to go back to afghanistan. many think he was just scared but i dont no. im sooo confused of what to do here. i no how he feels about me and he nos how i feel bout him. i didnt even feel this low the last time, iv barly eaten in days with having no appitite and every song reminds me of him, especially the one he told me to listen to, the lines went "lets just get back together we should have never broke up" i know its cheesy but its sweet. i love him soo much its unreal and i know he loves me too as he told me.

please help!!

marwa 2 years ago

hi essy my situation is horrible

that my x has disappeared on me becoz there is no future for the reltionship.

and he is my teacher and boss at the same time.. i feel that i lost him on all levels i lost my very best teacher in the world i can't do any moe cases with him becoz he is not teachin me the same way he used to do.

Josie Reid 2 years ago

I broke up with my boyfriend of two because we got into a fight. He said he needed a break and I suggested the break up. He immediately said can we be friends and it took my by surprise. We were completely in love. I told him a day later it was a mistake, and i made an even bigger mistake by begging him on the phone for 3 hours to take me back. I said everything I could possibly say to convince him to change his mind. He talked to my friends and knew how upset I was. He called and asked how I was. Than i saw him at a party and we completely ignored eachother. This was even more painful. The next morning I called him asking him if he missed us at all or regretted anything. He said no and that I needed to move on because he is moving on. I still can't believe this has happened. It has been two weeks since we have talked and it's like we don't know eachother at all. I still miss him everyday and want him back. I never thought in a million years he would ever breakup with me.

MiMi 2 years ago

This is the best article ever!

It made me gather myself and start thinking logically.. After my boyfriend said he didn't want me anymore I was devastated and very upset for days! Then I found this article and it has the best advice anyone could have given to me. Its great seriously..

By the way I got my boyfriend back!!!

Thanks so much!!!

If it wasn't for this article I would have been pathetically

begging him back...

Thanks....

Lili80 2 years ago

I broke up with my bf in June, but realised couple weeks ago that I made a mistake, but just as I did, he met someone else. So whereas in June and July he was trying to get ME back, by August he wanted nothing to do with me and was well into this new girl.

Unfortunately, I went down the hysterical, jealous and depressed path, begging him to take me back and wouldn't take no for an answer. I wish I had read your article earlier!!!!

I started acting as you suggested, and he is at least talking to me and not so scared of me which is good, but still well and truly seeing this other girl.

He is a hopeless romantic and falls hard and fast for a girl, so even though they have only been seeing each other a couple of weeks and only few dates, I'm soooo gutted. He is an absolute babe with an amasing personality and makes a girl feel like a goddess (I know, why the hell did I leave him? but that's another story), and apparently the girl is really lovely and very likable. SO, he is probably already developing strong feelings for her and she would be crazy to not be responsive so I'm sure they're blissfully happy this first month.

HELP - is it too late for me to get him back? What is the best course of action?

Lili xoxo

(very depressed but acting strong as you suggested)

Mands 2 years ago

I've just broken up with my boyfriend of 15 years. We had planned to start a family, but both needed to tidy up our lives first (smoking, drinking etc). I would start to tidy up, but then get slip back into old habits. He told me he couldn't go through it anymore & wanted a baby so bad, but I wasn't doing what I needed to. He said he still loves me. I asked him to give me 1 last chance & if I hadn't changed in 2 months that I would accept it was over for good. He said no & I needed to move on. Please help me!! He means the whole world to me & is my best friend. I don't want to be with anyone else & feel sick everytime I think of him being with someone else in the future & possibly starting a family. How am I gonna get him back? At this stage, I'm feeling low, alone, lost & so upset. I really want him in my life. I hope you can help me. Thanks so much

ashley 2 years ago

my boyfriend and i were together for a little over a year. we have broken up twice before but gotten back together with in a week or two. This time he said he's not sure of what he wants. I cried in front of him when he broke up with me, but since then ive been acting cheerful around him. He still comes over every day and he text me every day. the past few nights he would me text me. i would text him for a bit then not text him back.. This after noon he sent me a text saying im getting sick of you not texting me back. What are your thoughts? do you think we have a chance of getting back together?

lauren  2 years ago

hey my bf just broke up with me a month ago i have been texting him and calling and pleading and well its not working. im sad all the time and i want him back. He says he does not want a relationship right now.. i dont know what to do . im afraid that if i tell him that the break up was a good idea he will just move on.Im so confused he said that we fought all the time and he does not want to go through that again and i know that i wont want to. But the biggest mistake i made was taking a break after a year of going out. I want him to be how he use to be with me but it feels impossible .... please help

Abby 2 years ago

Hey my bf broke up with me a while back and i've been trying to get him back for months. Reading your article, i have realised that i have gohn about it all the wrong way. I really want him back, but i think i've ruined my chances. Would it still work after all my bad efforts?

Abby 2 years ago

I would very much aprciate it if you could help me out here. I hope to hear from you. Thank you for the article. It was fabulous.

kait 16 2 years ago

so me and my boyfriend broke up 2 weeks ago,after dating for 1 year and 5 months.why he broke up with me was because he lied to me about hanging out with a girl, and he tells me that i was not letting him hang out with his friends and i was "sufocating" him. but i want him back so bad and he is sending me mixed feelings. but he doesnt think he is, the other day he winked at me and then drove me home from school. and after i read your article i was thinking that i can get over it and make him want me like i want him, thanks for all your help haha. but can you help me and what i should do now

lindsay 2 years ago

I just wanted to say thank you for your article! My ex broke up with me about 5 days ago, and its been SO hard, and your advice is really helping me to start to think straight and convince me not to contact him. Anyway, I know you can't answer specific questions so I won't ask any, I just wanted to thank you for your article.

lauren 2 years ago

well i am 13 nd i am young nd prob dnt know a lot bout love but i cant get over him. well it started out i was goin out with one of his freinds nd we broke up nd i hve always liked the one him meaning the one i hve the issue with

anyways....

so we started goin out nd i loved it! (:

but, my friend didnt like him nd i was over at her house nd she convinced me to break up wit him. so he was mad at me for a bit nd i did wat u said not to do was nagged him told him how much i messed up nd how i wish i cuud fix thing nd how i wanted a second chance nd he said no me nd u r over period nd said he sdidnt want to be friends it broke my heart when he txted me dat

my friend said one of the things u said to act completely differrent nd dnt tlk to him nd said he wuud come bck nd i dnt wanna give up on him ya no?

so wut should i do please tell me i am despret i love him /:

devi 2 years ago

I live in my husband's country. I don't have full rights here yet. I've been married to him him for 3 years. We separated a few times and came back together - he has funny moods.

He went to live in his friend's flat for the last month as his friend went on holiday and told me I had to move out of the flat by the time he got back. I haven't done. He came back last night I asked to stay one more night he said I could and was v friendly with me.

Today he went to work but before he left asked me where I would leave the key - to indicate I still had to go. I was planning to go stay in a hostel - but to be truthful I have no money to afford it, I'm desperately in love with him and I cannot face going back to my home country - there is nothing for me there and I will miss him all my life if I leave now. I am completely stuck. I can't act like I have another life and that I'm my own person which is what I need to do to get him back, because I don't have my own house to live in where I can be pretending to have an independent life from!

Even though I changed in the last month and got my own life and sense of self back, I don't know how to act now because if I behave independent and uninterested in him or interested in other guys ( which I'm not ) to get his attention, he will for sure make me leave as I don't have any rights to stay in our home in this country - honestly I don't and no there is no organisation that can help me at all (it's a racist country that I live in.)

I know it's important to look a bit different to get your partners attention after you break up but I don't have any money to buy anything new to wear. What can to get his attention without spending money which I don't have !!! How do I get him back. He is giving me mixed messages flirting with me and being kind then rejecting me at the same time. I don't know how to speak with him. Forgetting him is not an option. I do not care about moving on. I love him deeply from the centre of my soul.

amy! 2 years ago

I need your help..My ex has recently decided that he wanted to try to make it work with his ex fiance. They dated for about 6 years and were engaged for only a month or so, before he called it off to be with me. We were together for about 3 years..The whole time wasnt serious..Anyways, I need your help. I do not want to lose him, he is the love of my life, and a great wonderful person. I have already made the mistake of crying in front of him, and telling him he was the one. But today is a new day, I read your article and please help me. If he text should I text him back? I am sure he will text in a day or two to see how i am doing, Please reply! Thanks for your article...

paubie 2 years ago

i have a problem...i just did the pity tactic??and it really suck!He told me that I'm driving him away more!

Do you think the strategy listed above will still work?

Thank you!

debbie 2 years ago

im really n love with im n i jist cant help stayn away frm him

Vivian 2 years ago

What can i do if my ex boyfriend leave me for another girl ? Our relationship only last 9 days , but i still love him

Lovestruck 2 years ago

Hey Essy and all you girls,

Well, I'm in absolute awe of this website. I wish I'd have found it within the 6 weeks ago when my boyfriend of 3 years left me! I guess if i'm honest, I always thought I had the control, because I "knew" how much he loved me. But if I can advise you all of one thing, and especially if you're here pre-breakup, don't take for granted how he feels...

After he left one Sunday afternoon after yet another explosive row, I suppose I just thought he'd come back, like he always did. Sure enough, the following day he bombarded me with texts of utter regret and how he wanted to be with me forever. However, despite how much I wanted him back, my rational side (long may it live!) said not to do anything hasty, let him take a few days to think it through. Historically he'd changed his mind on numerous occasions. One minute he'd want to be with me, the next minute he didn't. So I decided to let it take it's course. Despite this one day of "love texts" from him, after a few days I realised his attitude had changed. Perhaps it was the lack of control, but I got desperate, emotional, pleaded, all of the above and more and all of a sudden the shift of power was relentless. It went from me him wanting me back, to him shutting down. He never detached himself from us completely, we own a house together so not really possible, but he came round one day and announced that there was someone else he liked. My world collapsed. My knees buckled from under me. Everything I thought I knew about him, and us, was gone in a split second. I since found out, irrefutably, he'd been texting this other girl, and since we'd split had gone out on a date with her and kissed. And this was only snippets of what I knew, so god only knows what else there was to tell that during our relationship that he wasn't owning up to...

Anyway, to cut a long story short. Our relationship was going wrong a long time before this other person came on the scene. He claims nothing is going on with her now, but it's very possible he just doesn't want to hurt me. Trouble is, he's actually a "good guy"....well, that's what we all think isn't it. The lies are the hardest thing to deal with. I think I could actually get past this other girl, despite what others might think, but it’s the trust that is in jeopardy. After much deliberation I downloaded TW's book, and it's really great at actually letting you question why or if you want them back, and for the first time in weeks I'm actually wondering whether it's him I really miss, or just not having him.

In the back of my mind of course i'm hoping for a fairytale reconciliation, that he'll see the error of his ways, come running back with open arms. But honestly, as much as guys like the chase, is it not possible that we women also just want what we can't have?

To all you wonderful, beautiful women out there, all I can say, is take time to look at how amazing you are, don't focus all your attention on them. Sometimes the not being able to have something or someone can cloud your judgement. The fact is, maybe the fact they've hurt you, means they simply don't deserve you. On the other hand, if losing something makes you realise you didnt know what you had, fight for it. But above all love yourself, never lose yourself, be true to you, as the beautiful person you are, and the rest....well let the universe and fate decide. Remember, true love is not about finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. And that goes for both of you….

xxxx

JJLovesKS 2 years ago

i made a mistake of calling my bf 3x today after breaking up w him 5 days ago.

2 mondays ago: i told him we're done coz i felt he's constant dishonesty. then he told me to make sure it's what i wanted coz i would still be miserable.

2 wed ago: he recalled me and told me he "really really missed me". i didnt call him but the next day, i paid him unannounced visit. he told me he had plans at 4pm so i had to leave him. but he had a gift for me ready on sat.

2 fri ago: i called him reminding him i was coming over

2 sat ago: when i called he said he'd be busy but hed hangout w me sunday

sunday: i played a game and told him i couldnt come over coz id be busy. i expected him disappointed but instead he said "ok..."

that day, i told him we're over. i deleted my myspace and blocked him from receiving his email

since, he's called me and said to me how he missed me.

today saturday: wouldve been our 6 mts. i called him 3 diff times. i think i made him realized that i really missed him, too, coz he left me a msg that he's hoping i was ok and that he knew id be strong.

he told me to call him at 930pm. it's now 1050p - i didnt call him at all

what could happen? yes, i want to be back w him coz i dont believe in replacement. he's only my 2nd bf and want him to be my final bf (coz all guys r same)

Christina Roberts 2 years ago

Essy,

Hello I really think your article could help me in many different ways, but there are some complications in the way of your strategy. For example, the staying away from my ex is extremely difficult. I would really like to have a conversation with you and explain more about my situation to try and get some help. Please e-mail me. My address is chtistinaroberts63@hotmail.com

Thank you so much.

Sincerely,

Christina

Claudia 2 years ago

Hi!

I really love your article, it is very helpful!

I really need help...

My boyfriend and I know each other for 7 years, and we were together for the past 4 years. He is a wonderful man, he did everything for me, really. And me for him.

But 2 years ago I learned that he cheated on me for the first year of our relationship, it has been very hard on me, and from that moment I couln't trust him anymore. I started to check his phone bills, asking him where is was going and who was he going wih, etc... I was also ALWAYS making sarcastic comments about it. I couldn't forgive him for what he did. From that moment our relationship changed a lot. I took me 2 years to forgive him (I have to say that he cheated on me 5 times in a year).

But now (for the past 2 years) he has changed A LOT, really a lot, he stoppped seing his friends or going to partys too often, he doesn't sees those girls anymore, etc.

Bu the fact that I kept talking about what happened before, really killed our relationship. He gradually started to push himself away from me because I was getting possessive.

A year ago I finnally started to let this go. But at that moment the relationship was already changed (in a bad way).

From that time, we went up and down. We were breaking up, making up, around 4 times a year (for the past 2 years).

Each time HE left me telling me that he wasn't feeling good in the relationship anymore, that everything has changed, etc..

We also took lot of breaks. But now for the past months everything was fine, these last 5-6 months, everything has been great. He was talking about trying to live together again etc (the first time didn't worked out).

I was very hapy with him and he seemed very happy with me too. But a week ago he left me telling me that he couldn't stay in the relationship anymore because he wasn't feeling good with himself anymore, and with his own life. He also told me 100 times that "it isn't because of me" but that it's him who has problems.

I told me he still loves me but can't be in a relationship anymore.

In the first place I stopped speaking to me for 3-4 days, bloking me on msn, deleting me for facebook and he also changed his phone number. But when I spoke to this aunt she told me he was suffering a lot, espceially after he sees me.

Now he called me back and we see each other "as friends" we had really a good time the other day and he was very romantic, giving me flowers, opening the doors for me, etc.

And he was flirting with me, he even kissed me.

But when I saw him today he was changed, he was very distant and seemed mad and he told me : " stop running after me, I won't come ack with you, we are only friends and if you still ask me questions about why we broke up, we'll stop seeing each other". Abd at the restaurant he told me that when we were seeing each othe in the time we meet I wasn't so negative, I was positive. I seemed to miss that person I was.

But a few hours after he said that he called me to know if I came home safe.

I'm all mixed up now. Do you think I still have chances? What should I do?

Thank you SOO much!!!

Claudia 2 years ago

I'm all mixed up because when he's flirty and seems like he wants something else, but without being in a realtionship. And I don't know what to do. Because, at the same time, he is REALLY sure he doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore. And sometimes when he looks at me he seems so in love! But he seems to hurt at the same time?

Should I be friends with him, as if nothing happened, and ry to be the person he once met? I don't know how to act...

He seems to hurt a lot, I see it in his eyes, then why does he accepts to see me almost every day if it's hurting him?

He says he can't stay in a relationship anymore, but he sees me as often as we did before! what the...!

I'm so lost! Please help!

Thank you so much!

Claudia

yetagain99 2 years ago

Hi...so my boyfriend of 2 and a half years broke up with me a week ago i am so torn and really want him back ....i blocked him on facebook and like took everything that reminded me of him in a box... he said we can be friends and i said not right now we can't ...i feel like he isn't upset like i am ...i just don't think he cares ...the break up was my fault I took my fustration out on him for the past year or so i just had so much going on but the beginning of the relationship was fine ...as you probable can tell im really lost ... i haven't contacted him except on tuesday when he said he is sorry and that ill find someone better and we can be friends ...which i don't know if he means it when he says he wants to be friends... help me please

Thank you ( =

been there 2 years ago

yes.....so true i went through it myself. the 1st time we broke up i had my own pitty party and begged for him to come back, he wanted nothing to do with me! Its like he had the upper hand. Well we broke up again... lets just say that i didnt waste my time waitn around for him, and found SOMETHING to keep my mind busy!!! When he seen that i didnt want him he did everything in the world to get me back. Men like the chace why, i dont know.

Craig 2 years ago

hi there.. i am visiting my exboyfreind in a different country, i havnt seen him for 8months, and i know i am being clingy and touchy feely because i havent seen him for a while, and he still likes me but hes trying to make the boundries obvious. so he refuses to like touch me and get all touchy feely. well today i got in a fight with him caz i guess i was being all nosy and touchy feely.. now he is like really mad and i think he went out to go hook up with someone else :(... i dont want to go home with us fightting... i still love him and i want to let him know that i will love him no matter what....

i want to feel him and be close to him but i know i shouldnt but theres no time...

fhsgirl 2 years ago

hi essy!!!

i totally need your help!!! :(

my boyfriend dumped me 3 weeks ago and it seems as if he doesn't even care that he did it. he said we could be friends but ever since the break-up we havent had any type of contact. i dont know whether that is a good thing but i really miss him and im thinking of going up to him at school and telling him how i feel because i am tired of keeping everything bottled up inside. i am just so confused. i really fell for him. and we didnt even go out for that long. ive asked my friends for advice but all they say is, "oh, he doesn't know what hes missing out on." you might think that would make me feel better but it doesnt. and to make matters even worse, he broke up with me on the phone. and he said it so rudely. this is how the conversation went:

him: umm... can i ask you something?

me: yeah.

him: what do you think about us breaking up?

me: why?

him: because ive been thinking about it and...

me: so, youve been thinking about breaking up with me?

him: yeah, i just feel as if i dont know you well enough. i mean ive only known you for a month and a half. and plus we dont even spend that much time together.

me: you think that we dont spend enough time together? we see each other like every day.

him: well yeah but... i think that we should break up and see other people. um...

me: so youre breaking up with me because you think you dont know me well enough? i thought that was the reason we were going out: to get to know each other better.

him: well i think we should break up.

me: so youre breaking up with me?

him: sorry, but yeah.

me: oh my gosh!!!

him: .....

me: well..... okay. bye.

him: bye.

yeah, it was dumb. he just dumped me out of the blue. i didnt even see it coming. the day before everything seemed fine. we were holding hands and everything. it came as a shock to me. i dont know what went wrong!!! :( so, essy, do you think i should talk to him one day at school? i mean, yeah, you said that acting like everything is okay is the best thing to do but i cant do that because i have to see him every day because he goes to the same school as me. and we have like the same group of friends. so what should i do; talk to him and tell him how i feel OR completely ignore him and feel despressed? please tell me what to do!!! i really like him.

sese 2 years ago

hi

my boyfriend and i just kinda broke up i guess. he left with out saying anything and he wouldnt look at me. the night before this happened though we got really drunk and he hit me and family members i was with beat him up for hitting me. i tried calling him he just wont talk to me at all. he also moved out of town. what should i do? and he also left most of his stuff at my house...

 2 years ago

hi essy

I broke up with my boyfriend last month.

We were seeing each other from last 7 months.

Two months back he went abroad for further studies. We were not in contact then for around 20-25 days.

Once I met him over the internet and he talked about having a break up.

I tried to convince him for not breaking up but he didn't listen to me so we had a break up. Same day he told me that he wanted me in his life as a friend, we agreed upon that.

But i cant stop myself from loving him.

I love him and want him back.

plz help!!

nicole143 2 years ago

Hey Essy:)

So my boyfriend broke up with me about a month and half ago and eventhough i try to tell myself otherwise i still want to be with him. we were only together for 2 months but my feelings were really strong towards him.

i honestly feel stupid for still wanted to be with him. all my friends tell me that i can do better and i know i can but it doesnt matter cause i want him. its kinda hard to get over him cause we have the same friends and we study together. i basically see him everyday.

when he broke up with me, he told me he just didnt feel the same anymore and eventhough it killed me i was fine with it.

i dont know if its what i want to think or not but i feel like he still wants to be with me but doesnt show it.

i really want to get back with him.

what should i do? :/

please help

rabia 2 years ago

i am having problem, it's been 6 n half months i am trying to get my boyfrnd back by begging him even been two n half months he switched of the fone and he talk to me once or twice a month on msn. how can i get him back

rabia 2 years ago

let me tell you bit more of my story. wel i know this guy for nearly two years. he left me 6 and half months back. we had an arguments about little thing. i was trying to back him back even begged. he is not willing to come back. he used to talk to me but its been 2 n half months he switched off the fone and he talk to me on msn once or twice a week and he said he is moved on and he would never come back.i begged him and he got angry and when ever i say i loove him he go mad and say he would never speak to me again. i do leave 4-5 emails a day and leave msn online i dont get reply but once a month he talk to me and say he is moved on.

do u think there is any chance that he can come back bcoz i have lost a hope.

Rachel 2 years ago

Hey , my bf just broke off with me on 13th of October because of some communication problems that we faced like SMS-es.. At first I thought he agreed with me that I do not have much time to spend as I was studying in a university and bombarded with many projects and assignments... He sent an SMS saying that lets breakup and hope that I find another guy... The relationship was about half a year.I really miss him so much now... we are still on talking terms via MSN.. I asked for another chance ,but he totally ignore my question.

I dunno what to do now.. Many pple advice me to give up on him as they say that his heart is no longer with me he has lose interest in me. Deep in my heart, I still love him.. I know where my mistakes are already and Im willing to redeem myself as long as he give me a second chance to correct things.. I really want to work things out... Im afraid I will lose him if I dont get back to him asap.. Im afraid time will fade all his feelings away.. sobx

Someone pls help... Im trying to shift my focus to other things but somehow my heart feel rotten and terrible.. It feels like you cant breathe anymore or like rubber bands tight around yr heart.

Any advice besides the mentioned article above ??

Rene  2 years ago

I really liked your article.Thank you for your advice! What do I do if I was the one who walked away? I was dating this guy and we had commitment issues, but things were going great and we were talking about moving forward in our relationship! and we had great chemistry and a lot of things in common. One day we got in a real bad argument... Alot of mean things were said... He told me not to contact him, yet he said it wasnt a goodbye.( Very confusing) So he calls me two days later saying he wanted to give me some of my things back, so I decided to give him all the things I had of his and just end it, because during the argument he said he couldnt be with me and he said so many mean things. No words were said during the exchange of our things. I miss him and am very sad how things ended. What should I do?

jodie e 2 years ago

i read the rules and what to do and i already made two mistakes i kept callin him an i let him know i miss him n how much he hurt me, but i tried your rules any way and now he's callin me names and hugged another girl and said he's glad i got over him so quickly cause he got over me too and then he introduced me to his new girl friend!, and laughed at me and told me to get lost. the reason he split up wiv me is cause i am not as popular as him at school and his mates came before me and i gave him my heart and now i have no idea what to do. i tried your first advice and it didn't work for me, he now hate's me ,but i still want him back so please has anyone got any more advice i need it asap.

Rita  2 years ago

hi there essy:). im a pessimist and i try my best not to hope. how do i know that getting back with my Ex is possible?

my ex lives all the way in singapore and im in indonesia. i don't see him, and the only way i can talk to him is through sms or msn. other than that, he is one of the strongest people i know. so when his mind is set into getting over me, i actually believe he will.

is there still a chance?

Mish 2 years ago

Ok what if your bf broke up with you... but it was your fault. Does your steps still count.

S 2 years ago

I tried not to contact him but it has been 2wks, and he hasn't care at all. He was spending his time with his friends, and seems like he's having loads of fun without me.

He even posted on his facebook : Finally, i have never felt so relieved and free.

Is the relationship not coming back anymore?

FemaleVersionofaHustla 2 years ago

My boyfriend of 5 yrs and I broke up in August. He'd apparently met someone and they began dating. I was devastated so when we began talking again, I was just happy to have him back in my life. A month after we broke up, we began sleeping together and he said that he wanted to reunite with me, though he's still involved with the other woman. Another month has since past, so I told him to give me a date for our re-commitment and final reuniting. That date is 2 months from now. Is there anyway for me to get him back sooner? Again, he's still involved with the new woman. I want him back though and believe he wants to be back with me. Please help me out.

Aimee 2 years ago

Thank you so much for this advice!!! I needed something to rely on and your article was there ;] thank you

I'll pass this on to some of my friends too who is having this same problem going on.

Anonymous 2 years ago

I just wanted to say thankyou so so so much for posting this.

My boyfriend broke up with me and came back to me literally within a week!

I took the advice of not contacting him and within 2 days he couldn't leave me alone.

He kept telling me how wrong he felt and asked if we could meet up so i said we would talk about it.

Not even a week later we're back together.

Thanks for giving me confidence and hope.

And for any girls who are wondering if these tips actually work, trust me, they do!

jenn. 2 years ago

well i have an unusual situation.. I had a boyfriend that i was in love with and we broke up because he "wasn't sure it's what he wanted" so i was devastated. He has an ex that i decided to date (yes it's a girl) but i only dated her to get back at him..ha it worked but i couldn't stand the girl, so i broke up with her. anyway his ex is now at his house everyday and it just hurts me everytime i drive past. anyway i need some help. i don't know how to let it not make me furious. advice pleeassee =]

gloom 2 years ago

i broke up with ex a year ago.to some extent it was my mistake coz i used to have a dominating temperment.but he never sad anything and when i went away for studies he started flirting and when i found out he broke up with me.i thought i'll move on to but couldn't..then i thought to make him jealoue i'll go out with someone else, but that didnt help too.i still love him and cannot imagine him with someone else.i even expressed to him that i still love him which i shouln't have done. help me. i really love him alot.

Rainey 2 years ago

My bf broke up with me.We were together for a year and a half and he told me he didn't love me like I loved him... I was devastated. I did the pity thing for a while and he got back with me but I let him go because I didn't want to trap him. I was pitiful for the week afterward and then I tried to move on by dating someone else. ( during that situation my parents decided they hated him and his decided they hated me) I stopped trying to date the guy and I'm trying to act strongly, but I'm having trouble with it. My parents will likely disown me if I get back with him (if I can...) I'm confused. I really want him to love me again, but I'm not sure how... and I think I really should move on, but he and his family meant a LOT to me... Do I just... give up? What can I do...?

charlet 2 years ago

Hi. I love your article and i need some advise.

I know my Ex bf 12 years ago.

We were once together for 2 years.

I did a huge mistake when i'm in college.

I told him that i admire someone. But i said that just to get more of his attention.

At that time we were in different college.

I admit that he is indeed good looking.

I'm so afraid that other girls will go crazy in love with him.

But after since i told him that i admire someone else.

We lost contact.

He didn't call me at all.

I had always been missing him.

He live just 2Km away from me.

We've been apart for 6 years.

but i really think that i need to catch up on him.

What should i do??

melissaxo 2 years ago

hi esmerelda.

my boyfriend broke up with me about 2 months ago and he had a girlfriend, but they recently broke up. I keep reading all these websites saying to act like "you've moved on". unfortunately, whenever i think i should do that, it seems that my ex believes that I have and doesn't want anything to do with me because i've "moved on"

I went to a party the other night and my ex(that i want back) and another one of my clingy exboyfriends(who i dont want whatsoever) were both there. The whole night i could see my ex that i want back staring at me and everything just felt so in place but i couldn't talk to him. there were many chances for me to be able to but i couldnt bring myself to do it. my clingy exboyfriend kept coming up to me throughout the night trying to get back with me and i told him that i wasnt in the mood and everytime he was over by me my other ex that i want back just kept staring over and everytime he saw, he seemed upset with me and it always seemed like he wanted to come talk to me UNTIL my clingy ex came by me.

all in all, i just dont know how to get him back without making him jealous or anything because thats ehat every site and everything i've read and heard tells me to do.

any ideas??

OGBG 2 years ago

Thanx for the info!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm sure it will help me:)

Lisa 2 years ago

I have a bit of a different problem.

I have been with my boyfriend for two years, we are on our way to get engaged, and married.

we decided to move in together after the engagement,

just found a house for us, already decided on the furniture, our december holiday with the parents..

I saw lipstick on him and freaked out, broke into his email and facebook and wrongly accused this man in my life. found out the lipstick was mine, laying on the floor and the towel was over my chair,

wrongly accused the love of my life, he is not willing to forgive me, says he cant be with someone who cant trust him, wedding plans are of, house everything,

question is what now, how do you go on with your life, our lives where planned together.

he is stubborn and says, if he gives this another chance he looses his dignity,

he is not willing to listen and understand i panicked when i saw the lipstick.

while browsing on his emails i even saw he already picked out a ring for me.

if lost the best person in my life because of my insecurities, how do u win back someone that you hurt, and broken the trust

annonymous  2 years ago

my boyfriend told me a month ago that we would be engaged before the end of the year .. then this weekend he broke up with me .. he said we shouldnt have to try this hard o make it work .. when we are both in school and work .. we dont live together .. i am so at a loss right now .. this is the second time we have broken up .. but last year it was because we fought so much .. now he is saying that he just doesnt think this is what he wants anymore ..

do you think that we can get back together eventually and make it work ?? or am i just living with false hope ??

joey 2 years ago

well i have already done the no self worse things, it's been 2 weeks i called once in 2 weeks and did the mental breakdown via txt twice. am i doomed? or is it possible to start this no contact win him back thing now? i feel like a moron and lame!!!

phie 2 years ago

thank you for the article.. lately, i've been like crazy messaging him and thinking of him a lot.. when i stop communicating, he bugs me again and i cannot resist talking to him.. but now i realized, that by doing so, he won't miss me.. and also, i need to love myself more now coz my appetite is affected plus i dont get enough sleep.. oh, this break up is so hard for me!! 5 years has gone to waste i guess..

katie 2 years ago

Hi, My boyfriend and I broke up 5 months ago and started seeing eachother again 2 months after the break up. We started off just seeing eachother like one day a week and then it moved to 2 days and so on. Now we are seeing eachother all the time and he is always telling me how much he likes me and cares about me. I'm juts incredibly confused because I know he is seeing another girl. I am quite sure that it is just as friends but they do go on veryyy occasional dates. I have a horrible feeling of jealousy, him and I were together for 2 1/2 years and I hate the thought of him being with someone else. I respect the fact that he told me the truth about her but I just want him to figure out what he wants. He said that he really wants to end up being with me and his actions show that but then when he spends time with her it totally f's with my head. I need some advice. Should I just stop talkiing to him and make him think im more of a challenge then I really am or what? I told him that he needs to stop juggling two girls and that I don't think its healthy for me (which is isn't). I Really dont want to let him slip away and I know in the end I reallllly do want to be with him, he's my best friend. What do i do?

Myriam 2 years ago

Hi, Essy I need your advice. I have been with my Ex for 6years we were engaged for 10 months we broke up 3 months ago. He did me wrong but I still love him. I have feeling for him but I am hurt it is unthinkable to get back with him but I would like him to turn around to change but I don't believe on this you can change a man maybe inspire him but you can't change someone no matter who you are. We blank talk for 2 months but recently he is sending signal like he wants to talk to me but me I am being strong and pushing away all kind of contact. His family still keep in touch with me but they all acting like they are not aware or not mentioning that we are not together. I don't know what to do in a part my heart crying to get back at him but my feelings are hurt because of his cheating, lying type of character. Please advice me tell me something, Guide me in a way that should know what to do.

Mo 2 years ago

Essy,

my bf and i have ben together for almost 2 years. then out of the blue he breaks up w/ me. not in person but over a text, i was crushed immediately, i called him beggin him to come back then he finally gave in, then 20 minutes later he sent me a text that he needed space and that he just wanted to have fun for a while. so i left him alone for the longest time, then out of the blue he sent me a text saying that he wanted talk. so i agreed to talk. even tho it hurt really bad. he talked to me about his current sex life and his drinkin life. he then asked me about mine if i had changed, so i was honest with him. i have nothing to hide. after i told him he was shocked and he kept asking more questions. then the next night he wanted to talk again. so i again agreed to it. he told me that he knew that i still loved him, but he just need to get his hormones out of the way, and his running around. I don't know what to i love him more than anything in the world, and i'd give anything to get him back. i feel safe with him, and i know that he still loves me (well i think he does) he told me that he really really cares alot about me. his mom says that i still have a chance and that he still loves me, but im hurting so bad. i was hurting so bad i found another guy and i dated him for about a month, and we got a little carried away with what we were doing, and i then found out that i wasn't over my ex. and that it took me goin too far to prove it to myself that im still in love with my ex. should i wait? i honestly don't know what to do.. i love him and he means the world to me.

RooRoo 2 years ago

i have a huge problem! before i read this awesome advice, i already did the pity tactic. i called several times leaving voicemails while crying and begging him back. i texted pleading for him to give me another chance. i had no idea that was the WRONG thing to do. is there any chance at all i can fix this, and still have a chance of getting him back?

lilly 2 years ago

hey essay hv been with my bf for 2 yrs the relationship has been bad this yr. he cheated on me and has not lost contact with the person he did it with. this has really hurt the realaionship. he recently told me he doesn't love me but cares about me...what do i do..have cries so much..it's even worse cuz we live together..do u believe that we can get back together if he doesn't love me anymore. is caring for someone Alot te same as loving someone?

Jess 2 years ago

hey,

So this is my situation. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year and a half(1 1/2). We startin dating when he came back from his first year at university and had been doin the long distance last year and the start of this year. Its hard because we both don't have vehicles and trains/buses can get expensive so we don't see eachother often. Our summers are devoted entirely to eachother. This year back at school, we have had a hard time getting back into the routine that worked for us last year. Well, over halloween weekend i went to visit him and he completely from the party and when i had talked to him about it, he was saying that i over reacted and was making a bigger deal than it was. We fought for a while over little things that i never knew bothered him. That sunday going back on the train had me thinking. So, sunday night we talked and decided to break up. It was what he wanted. Monday he talked to me because we decided to stay as friends and i had asked him if this is what he really wanted, telling him if it wasn't that id be willing to continue to work on this but his only response was that it was too late to go back and 1 day wasn't enough time. So plan A had failed miserably so i went to plan B and just work on myself. I do love him very much and i miss him terribly and wish he could soon realize what he lost. I wouldn't talk to him, but he would message me on msn (he says that he was worried how i was handling everything). We talked about the friends with benefits idea but decided it might not work out. Than over the weekend i had gone home which was really nice to stay busy and not dwell on my feelings. He kept texting me, talking to me on msn but i didn't want to talk to him because the entire time i never felt pain or suffering from him but only concern for me. This isn't a bad thing but i didn't feel as if he was hurting from this breakup and i didn't put any impact on him for that year and half. On the weekend he had told me when i got back to school that he wasn't doing to well. It had finally hit him that we weren't together anymore and he felt as if he hasn't blown enough steam. I told him to talk to me and we talked about our pasts and what brought us to break up, i now understand why he "broke up" with me. He felt i was too immature and that i wasn't on the same page as him. He wanted to give me that space to grow and enjoy my time for when i go to holland this summer on a work abroad experience. We finally decided to go ahead with the whole open-relationship idea. We were both really excited and i had completely forgotten about the pain, suffering, and horrible things i had to endure. It had dawned on me a little while after that i am in no position to accept or handle the fact that he will be sleeping wth other people. Im tryin to be really strong. Not crying a whole lot or thinking about it because final exams are coming up and i can't fall behind. I talked to him about how i was feeling because i really wanted to have everything we agreed upon but couldn't handle it at the moment. I still wanted to see him, hang out as friends, and talk to him but it wouldn't feel like anythin was different from when we were dating which would make it only harder for me to have that chance to move on when hed be looking at it as only casual or friends. He understood everything i told him completely and said that his intentions are never to hurt me so if im ready to do it, than we will if not we will just remain as friends and talk on occasion. Now that hes not talking to me anymore, i want him so bad. I want to talk to him desparately but i know i can't. I know that if i do, he will never get his space or grow or yet alone miss me at all. He is really busy with school which i understand and he is working towards getting into law school and becoming a lawyer so his workloads are increasing and pressure / demands are higher. We had our problems with me not feeling wanted. I felt as if he had me as a side thing and im always there so he could do whatever pleased him than come to me when he had the free time. His sports, friends, school all came before me. which ok, i can handle that but when i do visit him i still feel like i don't exist while surrounded beside him with all his friends but when the lights go out, its all about me :S which is hard to handle.

What can i continue to do to keep working on giving him his space without ruining or breaking my chances of getting him back. Is there anythin i should be doing for myself also?

Please let me know.

thanks.

Suzanne 2 years ago

Dear Essy,

My boyfriend broke up with me last night and I feel lost and confused. So what did I do? I typed 'how to win a guy back' into google, and I came across your page, which seems really helpful. You see, I only started university 2 months ago and I got together with my boyfriend straight away. He had just broke up with a long term girlfriend whereas I have never had a serious relationship. We clicked straight away and our relationship developed very quickly as we live in the same house so everything is amplified. Although we have only known each other for 2 months it feels like we've known each other for years. The thing is, we were really happy together up until a few days ago when everything suddenly changed. He started avoiding sex, then just avoiding me in general, not sleeping in my room, being really distant. He told me I was being too clingy and i told him that it feels like he can't be bothered anymore. We spoke last night and it turns out that he is always comparing our relationship to the awful relationship he had with his ex. He told me he's scared to get too close because we'll end up hating each other, so he just wants to be friends. I know what he means but I just want him back! It's hard to avoid him because we live together and we have the same friends. What am I suppose to do? I just want him back :(

Please help me xx

Niamh 2 years ago

Hey..my bf just broke up with me ydy after 2 years 2dgr..we wer very close and did everything together so obviously im devestated..we had a fight a few days ago about how i was being so hard on him lately and i apoligised to him and promised it wouldnt happen again..since i said that he started acting differntly towards me like he was taking advantage of what i said then last night said he didn't want us to be together as we fought too much..i begged him not to let me go and then decided maybe if i agree with him he would change his mind now he's txtn me askin can we meet up in a little while and see how things go..what will i do?..i know i should keep him stewing for a while but i want him back soon as my birthdays next week and christmas is only around the corner..x

kitty 2 years ago

hey essy remember me? 7months ago? Well remember I told you I would let you know what ended up happening? Well we finally got back together after like 8 and a half months!!! phew!! finally! Just wanted to let you know how things played out. Thanks for everything I really appreciate it...

-kitty

Bee 2 years ago

My boyfriend just broke up with me yesterday and I really loved him. His reason was that he "didn't feel anything for me anymore" and that "he still wanted to be friends". I knew this was coming because he was becoming less and less passionate, we never got together anymore and I had to tell him to kiss me. I told him I wasn't ready for it to end but we broke up anyway. How exactly do I get him back cus I miss him so much!

Victoria 2 years ago

Hola Essy,

So ive been reading some of ur advice and suggestions to other people and think ur probably one of the most experienced and smartest person to come to... so, my story is...

Me and my boyfriend dated for 2 1/2 years, and Halloween Day, we met outside of a party where he told me he wanted to talk, so, when i met him there, he got really nervous, and couldnt look me in the eyes and was really shacky and said "i think we need to break up, i dont think its working out" and basically... i got one of my friends to ask him why he did it and... basically its because we fought too much (thats what he told her)... like, little fights every other day... and it was a lot of me nagging him about stupid things all the time... but you know, obviously i miss him, and ill do a lot to get him back, i mean.. we were REALL in Loooove. It was different from any other relationship... we grew up with eachother, like, we were eachothers 1st kiss, 1st hand hold, 1st i love you... you get it.. i dont want to walk away form him.

so, we havent talked in person really the past 2 weeks (he brok up with me two weeks ago)... we smile at eachother a lot at school, but we dont talk in person.. i wanted to give him his space.. plus im too nervous to talk to him.... but, the past 3 days ive texted him, only once, and waited for him to text back (like you know.... im not gunna text him... then an hour later text him again... that is what i mean by only texting him ONCE a day) but the past 3 times hes gotten friendlier and friendlier, adding in "lol"s and "haha"s and not being so snippy with his words...

but ok, hers my plan.. tell me if i should do this or not.... or how ud revise this plan...

Ok, so., my ex has always been a really jelous guy, so, i was gunna get one of my friends to text him and say "hey, how are u, etc..... are you the one going to dinner with victoria tonight?" and he'd probably say "no, why?" and she'd say "ohh, well she just told me she was going to dinner with someone but didnt tell me who it was, so, i figuerd yall had gotten back together.." and then maybe he'd ask "well who is she going with?" and my friend would say "i dont know,why dont you go ask her?"

so, automatically, in his mind he'll ASSUME its a DATE (which it wont be) and that i LIKE the person im going with (which, i already asked one of my best friends to go with me [just to waffle house]).... so... whatcha think of the plan? any revisions? would u even take this plan? thank you so so much! If this works, i owe you!

Shaannon. 2 years ago

i was with my boyfriend for almost a year, we are really perfect together, we have the same likes, dislikes, we've never been mad at eachother, never shouted, or argued, but he text me saying he wanted to talk to me, so he phoned me, and i could tell he wanted to say something to me, he said "i can't be with you" he has MAJOR paranoia, and thinks the whole world is trying to get him and thinks people are trying to break us up, it's all in his head, and i've told him to see a psychologist, I phoned him a couple of times, just so we could talk, he lives 6 hours away, i just wanted to know why, because he didn't give me any reasons, anyway, i want to phone him, just to explain that im letting him be, and when he feels ready to contact me, he can..i'm worried he's not going to, or that hes going to think because i've moved on, he doesn't want to drag me back again? when really more than anything i just want to be back with him. Like i said, theres no reason for it. Do you have any advise? :/

TiffanyDiamond 2 years ago

essy, we need you. i'm certain trying to read hundreds of emails and providing sound advice can be excessive when it is just you; perhaps your gf donna in example 1 would assist you in providing feedback for us. we need you!!!

Arie 2 years ago

My boyfriend broke up with me, like, one and a half months ago. I have to thank my work for keeping me very occupied to cry over my loss. However until now, i frequently thought of him, and the sweet times we used to have. Your article encouraged me alot, to move on and get over my breakup. Bu he isnt talking to me anymore, nor did he ask me out for movies together with my club mates like those times before we got together as a couple. So... perhaps, for my case... this relationship cannot be saved. It is really over i guess...

I strongly believe that i am not THAT into him anymore because i forced myself to numb the breakup mentally, i can live on with my life without my ex, not texting him or calling him either, but, why do i still think of him so frequently? Is it because he is my first love, or do i still have left over feelings for him, or am i just missing the feeling of being loved and being in love?

Steph 2 years ago

Hi Essy..

My boyfriend (28) and I (23) was in a relationship for around 8 months - there have been alot of things going on in his life the past two months as we started the first 5 months by having a long distance relationship where we saw eachother 2-3 days every second week, but it worked out well and we were very much in love. Two months ago he moved to my city (not together)and because of that we of course start seing eachother quite often which was a huge different of course. As mentioned before he is 28 have had a couple of past relationships but they only lasted for maximum 1 year and he have never lived together with anyone. He is wokring as a chef and have been doing that in eight years where he have almost worked every day from 10am to 11pm which means he havent had time so spend alot of time with his former girlfriends and it still only last for 1 year appr. When he moved over he started a job from 7am to 3pm which is a crusial difference from his former working hours which also have made more space for us spending time together. anyways we went to Paris for an extended weekend two weeks ago which was a fantastic trip he was all over me, telling me how much he loved me etc etc. But then last week he says that he lost the spirit in the relationship and asked how I saw our future? and suddenly seemd very different and confused. I asked if he wanted to leave me but he said that he loved me and were to happy for me to just end it. We suggested to take some time from eachother but I was so devastated I did what you shouldnt do and called him two days later and said I really hoped we could sort things out as I really loved him - he said that I couldnt force him to make a choice and that he wanted it to work but just couldnt say when. I thought about things and was vey confused as the whole thing happend so sudden but I decided that I cant be toghether with one who dont know when he want to be with me again as I just wont allow myself to sit and wait for him to come up with an answer. so I ended things two days ago and expalined him that I love him and its hard for me but that I cant be together with one who dont know if he want to be with me or not! he didnt really have much to say. but today he came over to exchange stuff (keys etc.) and we talked about all other things than us - the only thing I asked was if he had been cheating on me or meet another girl because then I wanted to know and he answered 'no and I dont even want to'. He asked if could come over for a cup of coffee tomorrow but I said I had plans and we could meet up next week for coffee. The problem here is that the whole thing happend so fast and I really love him and everyone thought that we would be together 'forever'. I dont know what to do as I want to move on but at the same time I see him as my future man and we have spoken about living together etc. so I dont understand why he sudden dont want to be with me? what do you suggest me to do? im so confused.

Many thanks,

/Steph

trying 2 years ago

does this still aply if you've already messed up by calling him? even if when you did that everything blew up and drama was crazy? i know i want him back but he doesnt seem to care. i think i really hurt him with the breakup.

highschoolgirl 2 years ago

Hey Essy,

My ex and I broke up about a week ago because he "needed his space" and he was constantly texting a 8th grade girl(his ex of one week) who is clearly obsessed with getting him back. We're highschoolers. The past month has been hard because he was always on and off; one moment he would tell me I was annoying and to go away and the next he would be all over me. It seemed like he was unstable all the time, which made me go on a rollarcoaster of emotions. So we broke up (Thursday), but two days afterwards (Saturday) we went on a school trip together. We have all the same friends, so we were together all day. The thing is, he wouldn't stop stepping on my shoes, play punching me, messing up my hair, and poking my hips. Which confused me. The next day(Sunday), I texted him and he responded, to my surprise, but then he had to go to a soccer game. Later that night I got word from a friend that he was bashing me all day and making fun of me. Monday night he texted me asking me if I told a guy that he liked the middle schooler, which I didn't, but I found it odd that he texted me about such an odd thing. Tuesday we walked to english together having a comfortable conversation. So what I would like to know is what should I do?! I want him back, but I don't want him to be unstable! and I'm not sure if I should ignore him completely or not..

bree 2 years ago

Essy,

I would really just like to thank you for taking your time to write this article it has helped so much and given me the confidence i needed to know how to resurrect the relationship. Thank you. You are a very very kind person and i appreciate everything you have shared

Claire 2 years ago

Hey There

I see thesehave worked for other girls, but im having some trouble with the rules. I barely speak to my ex so thats less contact. Im always confident, even if faking it because my roles during the day and at work make it necessary, and i have completely moved on. I have a new job, have moved out, have made major decisions for my future and have interviews laid out. But i still want him.

To make it worse; he has a new girl friend. I dont know if it is a lost cause but i have stuck to the golden rules and my old serious boyfriend has moved on anyway.

Is there anymore advice anyone can offer?

Kelsey  2 years ago

Essy,

I want to thank you so much for all of your advice. My boyfriend broke up with me, after a year and a couple months, in September, stating that he no longer had feelings for me. I was completely heartbroken. And after being convinced he was the one I would spend my life with (after we had both said that many times), I turned into one of those crazy ex's. I committed all of the relationship crimes: the constant calling, texting, begging for him back. This lasted maybe a little over a week before I came across this article and realized it had to come to a stop. From that point on, it is usually only he who is texting me. I miss him to an insane degree. I cry once in a while remembering how it used to be. But he does not see this side of me. Around him and when in conversation I am full of confidence and life. We've hung out twice since then, both times he said were very fun. It was just like old times.

I'm hanging in there and praying every day that he comes back. Everything about him is perfect to me. I am waiting for him to realize what he had.

I know that God will bring another amazing man into my life if my ex is not the one for me....but from the bottom of my heart I hope that he is.

Thank you so much for laying it all out on the table and saying exactly how it is. I hope that it works out between us.

Lauren 2 years ago

hii!

uh well my boyfriend and i were dating for a year and everything was going well then he decided he wasnt sure if he liked me the same way as he used to. he is now dating a girl who recently took my boyfriend before that too! i know my ex boyfriend and i are for eachother and i want him back! he asks me to go places with him and stuff and i just don't know what to do. i feel so hopeless :/

gina 2 years ago

Hi Essy,

Thank you so much for all of your advice

I broke up with my boyfriend a few days ago and i really

want him back because I know I was the one who screwed it.

We've been together for 2years but it was long-distance..

We are still in long-distance relationship which makes me

wondering if thoes rules would still apply to my case

What do you recommend?

natasha 2 years ago

my boy friend broke up with me because i lied to him. he spent 1 yr and half thinking about it. he finally left me about a month ago. i have lost over 20 pounds and cant go a day without crying. i would do anything in my power ti get him back. any help?

Sonya 2 years ago

Essy, I honestly truely need your help right now. I feel like im crumbling up into little peicec, & i dont know what to do anymore. We were together for two years. And at first i listened to my insticnts and told him i still loved him. But after that day, i have made no contact with him at all. But i see him everysingle day because we go to school together. And its tearing me apart because hes showing no emotion towards me. And hes having fun without me.I miss him so much, and my goal is to get him back. But i honestly dont have any idea how. I read your article, but i feel like i messed up on going back to him. And i dont know if your advice would work now. What should i do?

Sonya 2 years ago

Please, respond to me at my email if you cant respond here

d.r_latina@hotmail.com

Emylee 2 years ago

i need ur help. me and my bfhad broken up about ayear ago but i think i love him. im only a teenager btw. i really just want to with him forever but we r in the friend zone. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

kat:) 2 years ago

heyy so i have a question about knowing if you love him.. im only a teenager but i have been dating this guy and he says he hasnt ever met someone like me and all the junk guys say to girls but he doesnt try anything when we are together which makes me think does he mean what he says.. i mean hes an amzing guy and ive never felt this way about someone but love is like i big step and i just wanna know.. what does love feel like?? because im totally lost... PLEASEE HELPP ME

lolla 2 years ago

hi essy! thanks for your advise. but i really have bigger problem than this:my ex left me 3weeks ago because his mum told his to. His mum told him that she will do just anything to make sure we ll never end up with each other. I am so sad. We ve planned to get married and now he left me. I get to know that he still loves me but he is now avoiding me and after few days, he even told me that he didnt love me. I really don't know what to do :(( I tried texting him and calling him but he never replies..

Cindy 2 years ago

Hey! I really liked your article. But I have a problem. My boyfriend broke up with me suddenly because he says he thinks we're going too fast...do you think he just maybe wants to take a break for awhile? But then, he just got together with my best friend! and she KNOWS how i feel about him...is there anyway of getting him back even if he says he's happy now with her?

Carla 2 years ago

Dear Essy,

I was wondering if you had an email address that I could email you at.. I could really use some help with my situation.

danielle 2 years ago

this is hard, i see my ex every day in school i even have a class with him its so hard to not be upset around him every day because i miss him so much. im hoping this will work. reading this shines a new light on the situation so thank you.

Jane 2 years ago

i hate to bother any one but here is my situation. i was dating a guy for a year and we both had very high walls but we took the risk of breaking them down together. well we did and about a month or two ago i had the financial funds to go out of state for schooling, he gave me his blessing but a few days later we broke up. we continued to hang out for a month after that and one day he came over and that was the last time a spent any time with him. he is now seeing someone (i dont know if its official or not) but i what i guess im askin is, it it possible to win my guy back? we have had a love hate relationship but after my past he has been the only one to really stand by myside for everything except goin out of state. I want my second chance with him but i dont know how i can it. Can you help me?

amanda 2 years ago

im im middle school. andrew is my first boyfriend. i really like him. but we never see each other in schools or out of school. so i broke up wit him well, mainly becaus ewe never saw each other. now m regreting that and ofcourse he has a grilfriend now. can you help me? and remember i never see him so its gotta be something i can say/ do over text.

-amanda

Abbi 2 years ago

well my boyfriend broke up with me because he says that i dont show him that i love him......he compares stuff like buyin a card and material stuff....i wanna subtly show him that i love him so that he would want to get bac with me but i'm not sure if to do it or how to go about it......he was/is really hurt an i tink bcuz of all this pain he is really adamant about us not gettin bac together netime soon...... i'm tryin my best to act happy and not be to clingy!!! i would still talk to him as a fren an stuff but ever so often i crack and i wanna ask him y we like dis an beg to get bac 2gether.....but we broke up b4 and wen i stopped being clingy he wanted me back....but i not sure if this will wrk again.......i am realy lost.....i need FULL ADVICE can u help me plz i feel like i'm dyin :'(

-Abbi

Ashley 2 years ago

Ok. My boyfriend broke up with me about a week ago, he was sobbing as he did, and he said the reason was "God told me to put him first" I do not know if this is a legitimate reason, but I loved him, and really want him back. Before he would go out with me, he really wanted to, he made me promise that what ever happened we would still be friends. Well, I can barely talk to him without bawling, so I have avoided talking to him. Now he always asks me "whats wrong" and stuff, tries to talk to me, tries to make me laugh using inside jokes from when we were dating and smiles at me. The other night there was a band concert and I was sick, he wanted to know where I was. I kind of screwed up on the don't be sad and tell him you miss him part, but it kinda sounds like he wants me back. I do like him, but after dating him and seeing him as a "frenime" i see his faults that i didn't when we were dating. What do i do? It seems like he is over it, but i am not so sure. Please help, you give great advice. :) By the way, I do not agree with the under 15 rule, he is 14 and i am 13 but it was a different relationship then most.

betty 2 years ago

Well thanks for the tips, Im gonna give them a go. Myself and my 'boyfriend' and currently on a break - his descision - after almost 4 years together. I suffer from depression and have struggled to give him the attention he needed. He now says he is unsure how he feels about me. I really dont want to loose him, he is the absolute love of my life. I really hope these tips work. Thanks

Kelsey 2 years ago

just an update on what's going on with me. i guess the whole thing doesn't work with everyone :( i followed all the tips as i stated a few weeks ago. but he recently found someone else after only two months. their families are best friends so she already has an in. she's living in texas for the time being and we're in pa but they talk constantly and i'm feeling as if once she's back they'll be together. i'm heartbroken but i'm still trying to go along with everything you said. i hope it isn't too late for us....

Hillary 2 years ago

Hi!

A week ago my boyfriend and I of 9 months broke up. It was mostly my doing. He told me he lost motivation to be with me and that he thought he was losing attraction for me. I WAS DEVASTATED! I instantly just asked him to drive me home.

Well on Sunday night I apologized for the way I flipped out aand he replied with "well. there's nothing we can do to fix this now" I feel dumped because I thought it was a petty fight and we could get past it. I want him back more than ever now. I miss the way we would laugh and do stupid things and comfort each other at our worst. Mostly I miss the things I did for him. I stayed with him when he was sick, and would scratch his back when he was stressed for instance. I just want this back. I hope you can help me.

Heather 2 years ago

ok i meet a guy wheni was seventeen with a friend it was actualloy her boyfriends friend. when i first meet him there was no attraction but later that night ilearned to like a guy for more than just looks. and people would always say heather your to good for him or your to pretty but i didnt care, aanyways we dated from when i was 17 until i was twenty he was 22 when we broke up and it has been a year since we have broke up and we talked this past holloween and hung out with some freends and he acted the whole night like we havent even been broke up and we did kiss and stuff but hwen he left that night i got emotional and didnt want him to leave bc i didnt know when the next time i woould see him but he ended up leavin and he was not talked to me since and i really feel he is the one but now he dosent talk to me at all or answer my callsw and he might be even dating a girl for like a month not sure though bc he lives a hour a way but he ignores me 100% now and i dont now what to do besides just to leave me alone but sice we have broken up this is the first girl i have heqard of him talking with or dating and i have tried to move on i have dated two guys since and it just dosent work out and in the end im still stuck thinking about him

lyriclorraine 2 years ago

Hayyy first of all thank you so much! second of all im a 16 year old and my ex, whose 18 is going out with a 20 year old. we were in musical theatre together and we were really really close as friends. Then i had to transfer to his school because of issues with my old school. When i git there he completely ignored me and never talked to me because i hung out with the " Loser" crowd. After 3 months a group of the popular girls took me in an soon i was more popular than him. Thats when he asked me out. Everything was so perfect. Nothing between us was akward because we were really close before. Then like 3 days after we started going out he wanted to make out with me. i am the kind of girl that takes it slow so i didnt make out with him. Then he broke up with me because of it. Now him and his girl have been dating for 7 months and they havent even had a peck on the cheek kind of kiss. Im still in love with him. He still flirts with me and i want him back. I know its wrong because he has a girlfriend but i know him and i know he still likes me too.. what am i supposed to do?

kat:) 2 years ago

heyy its kat againn and yes to answer your age question i am 16 and he is to. we had a long talk about it because i really was confused and he said he meant it and he would never say something he didnt mean to me. i really think i believe him just because we were best friends before we started dating and he tells me everything.. so im not sure but i think i do love him.. i trust him with my life so i guess that means i do???

Kohana 2 years ago

ok so me and my bf are not broken up but on break.... but we are on the line of breaking up. he says he needs his space, and his feelings are fading and....i just came across this site to realize ive been doing the irritating pity thing....can things still be fixed?

breena 2 years ago

so my now ex whom im very much in love with still, broke up with me 3 weeks ago. its been painful, but ive kinda stayed my distance from him... space. He never acted weird like he was going to break up. he always told me that i would be the one to end our relationship cause he wouldnt really know when he was doing wrong cause to him im hard to read. so my dad freaked on him and my stepmom was being a douche. i know its probably bad to tell him that i miss him but when i do he says yes i miss you too.. and ill ask him what hes been up to and hell say nothing really these last weeks have been boring. weve been seperate for 3 weeks and im nuts about being with him again. he is not like most guys hes kinda sensitive if thats the word but he always said like every 5 minutes that he loved me, he showed good affection and always found time when we hung out. when we werent together he always said how bored he was without me. he would also say how we would be together untill the end of the world and always make comments on how we should do this or that. of course i agreed to everything with love. we always did things together without feuding or getting into arguments. im so confused. ive tryed to hang out with him in the past 2 weeks but he now is busy with his brother. i dont call and badger him saying he has to do anything with me but its a idea if we did. i think..... somebody please give me a good idea on what i should do. i really miss him and i love him so much. and from how he acted and acts now he still loves me too. i hope :)thanks

breena 2 years ago

hey not to b weird KAT but i believe i know u through my cousin jess lol i went to ur b-day party 2 yrs ago. my nicname was cat too lol peace

yve 2 years ago

my bf moved out of his parents house i helped end of sept to a home with a 15yr old guy he said wed hangout and see one another more..that didnt happen like overnight he stopped calling & later said he needs space...we broke up...i did so some bad things like acting all emotional initially after he lied to me about things...and above all he avoided me wont call nothing...im level headed now and no matter how hard it is for me im moving on i dont want to but hes giving me no choice i love him i want him back havnt called him or gone over to see him im leaving him alone..should i start meeting and contacting other guys even tho im not interested in anyone but him? when he calls me or we see one another what should i say and do to win him back?

Sam 2 years ago

Thank you so much for this blog! Me and my boyfriend have only been finished a week but i miss him more than anything! im finding it really not not contacting him but i trust your advise and i really hope it works for me! I will write again to let you all know how i get on! wish me luck!

marie 2 years ago

My ex bf broke up with after 7 months of being together..he said he needed space and he said he coudnt take my "abuse" anymore..wat he meant by abuse was i pushed him away too much when we argue meaning i said hurtful things on txt messagin..he was one of those mentally unstable people..and he been crushing on me since freshmen year..it just sucks..i was his first rea girlfriend.and we lost our virginites to each other..now it was all nothing to him..the week that he dumped me he got a new girlfriend..now i see him around school,and wonder if he realy forgot about me..after 7 months..

he started liking the girl over txt messagin because when we didnt talk for two days she was der for him..so basically he dumped me for that girl too..

something he hasnt done before..

because girls never really liked him..

he looks very grungy,

i just dont get it at all..

is this wat i get for dating someone whose unstabe..

im just so confuse and hurt..

Jgurl 2 years ago

guyss.. :( ..i have to tel this here..anyone whom reading this..please help me..i gt a boy..i met him by chat..the first chat itself i was impressed by him..he had the feeling too..one fine day he proposed to me and i accept..i never been accept any guys proposal like this..but some kind of feeling really made me to accept him..i love him muc..he is in da same case too..he love me lot..but one day he himself he told me he gt lot of admires.. :(..i felt sad..somemore some of the gurls love him for few years time..but he told me he dont have any feelings on them..once he chat wif me he really impress with me..yea he is true..he gamme ol his privt property passwords..like frensta..i log in i saw the mesages oll..ony the gurls kept asking him to love..but he ony rplyd he gtta no mood and nt interseted.. :( ..i was so happy as he impress by my way..but i felt pity for the gurls.. :(.. the gurls are very pity..they wonder for him so many years..but this guy love me within a few days..somemore im nt very beautiful..but the others gurls are very beautiful.. :(..he told me one day..gurls mus looks like angel but guys no matter he may look liks beggar aso..but gurl mus be lookin like angel..once hear this i felt more hurt..as im nt that muc beautiful haizz..i dont noe wat to do..so i ask him to go away frm me..i thought he mus gt a beautiful life partner..i force him to go away frm me.. :( ,,he do wan to go at first..as i torcher him..at last he lost his patient and he go away frm me..its already 2 months..i try to frgt him..but i cant..other guys aso proposing to me..but i do wan to accept..i have no mood..as he is the first guy that i put my hands up fr him..i scart wit him..i respect him..i listen to everyting he said..he is the first guy that can handle me..as im very naughty and talkative..if he tok like angry with me..how angry i am aso ..i wil calm down.. :'( ...i really love him muc..now he is gone frm me..he told me before go..forget me that im exist on this earth..dont mesage or call me anymore.. :'( ..wat shud i do.. :'(...even the time he left me i was having exam..i failed oll the subject once i gt the result..til now i cant forgt him..and cnt accept other guy in my mind too..although other guy impressing me.. but i cant :'(..

lover 2 years ago

I just lost my boyfriend and know im going to us you advice your right on the rules thanks

peekay 2 years ago

me and my ex started dating aftr 7 days of our first meeting...aftr dat v broke up many times...d last break up was because he thought dat it was better for us to be friends first and then think abt our relationship..he thinks dat i was never myself wen i was wid him..i pretended 2 be d girl he wants and not the real ME..but b4 d last break up..i startd being me..bt thn he suddenly broke up..he says a relationship constitutes 70% of friendshp..but v were never friends..it was like love at first sight..he was always him.bt i was nevr me..i text him continsly..bt he doesnt reply..he is busy wid his studies..v go 2 d same tution..all my facebook status r for him and i guess he knows dat..i love him truely..and i dont kno wat 2 do? please help me

Alexis 2 years ago

I'm in highschool and me and my boyfriend just broke up. He was the one who did it and said I didn't give him enough time, which I agree with I am busy with sports and school but I tried my best. We've broken up a bunch of times over stupid little things but always get back together in a day or two. He said he's done giving me chances and doesn't want to get back together, but then after he broke up with me he told me how hard it was and that he wasn't sure if he was ready to let me IwanWhen he broke up with me it hurt so bad it felt like o was gonna die. I want him back more than everything and I love him so much.

Angela 2 years ago

hey essy, i really really need your help ='[ me and my boyfriend broke like 2 and a half weeks ago and he just started talking to me again yesterday, but he says that i shouldnt even try to get him back because he'd not coming back and im freaking out and i dont know what to do we've been going out for 9 months and he's been telling alot of other people he misses me but he's being mean to me and wont take me back and i dont know why! =[ I miss him so much! why doesnt he want me?! i cry every single day. even though he says he's not coming back will he??? and how long will it take if he does? because i really want him back as soon as possible ='[

MephiticalVixen 2 years ago

Hi Essy,

Well me and my boyfriend were together for a year and 6 months. I've known him for 4-5 years, being that he was my ex best friend's brother. Everything was so perfect and it felt completely right to be around him..almost like we were meant to be. Then I had to move, because both me and his parent's are in the military. We were together for 2 months before I had to move. While I was still there..he asked me to run away with him, but I told him no. I knew that my parent's would find us and never let me speak to him again. After I moved things got very different. While we still loved each other just as much as we did...I started to lie about things and being mean to him..I never meant to, I just have never had control over my emotions so much. I was always thinking that he'd cheat on me, or he'd think I was ugly, or that he hated me for leaving him behind. He started telling me that girls were asking him out and talking to him..I got way over jealous..and kind of said I'd hurt them. He said that I was annoying, always jealous of other girls, worried what other people thought about me, and that I probably cheated on him while I was away. I love this boy so much that my body doesn't enjoy the taste of food anymore..and I just can never find much energy to do anything. I'm also home schooled so I'm home all of the time. He was always thinking that when I went out of the house I was cheating on him. He can be rather cold about some things and doesn't show much emotion..well unless I'm with him, he says he has me read like a book while he is still sometimes a mystery to me. He says that he still loves me and he still calls me everyday so can I use this to my advantage? Please help me get him back, he means more to me than anyone/anything and is the only thing I need to be happy. If you could help me I would be more than thankful. Any tips would be helpful, I'm willing to try anything to be with him again.

-Brittany

Angel Rose 2 years ago

Hi Essy

You give great advise here :)

My situation is a bit different. I was seeing this guy on and off for 6 months, we also had sexual contact during that period, he wanted to be my boyfriend and he was crazy about me, he was great in everything, but I told him I was not ready for a relationship, which was true. I was always very honest with him. The last couple of months I realized I wanted to finally date him and I became closer to him, I fell in love with him. So as soon as I told him I wanted to be his girlfriend-which is what he wanted for so long- he suddenly changed and became distant, didnt call often,didn't see me much at all, generally changed.He was also talking about his ex a lot and I told him it was a sign he was not over her but he denied it-then... Yesterday he finally said to me that he doesn't feel the same anymore about me(because once more I brought up how different he is) and that he still has feelings for his ex who he broke up with 8 months ago and lives in a different state and that he is confused. He said that we just had bad timing me and him and that he still wants to be friends and still keep to work with me in some stuff we did together as musicians cause he thinks it would be a shame not to.I agreed with him and was very calm, I am the one who actually brought up the 'breaking up' because I felt he wasn't into me anymore, but he said that he was ready to tell me the same thing. I said that I dont want to be with a guy that doesnt want me back and he agreed..He said it wasnt ment to be. He agreed with everything I said. I was very nice and polite though. He also said that it will be hard for him in a way cause he thinks I'm beautiful and smart and we had chemistry,and that we had a lot in common and he always had fun when he was with me. but still he doesnt want to be with me and he was clear about it... I am so confused and hurt but I didn't really show it to him, I was just a bit sad in front of him but also very confident.What do you think? What should I do? Do you think there is a chance that he will want me back and realize his mistake? Can I win him back?...

KAYLA 2 years ago

listen. for me and my ex it literally waslust/love at first site, we really are perfect for each other and we both know and im saying both because he has said it too, we were meant to be together. his whole life hes been in long relationships and he decided{ plus the influence from his friends, which he takes there advice and what they say too much, he'll do anything they say it seems} we broke up cuz he wanted to explore the single life, we stopped talking for a while but still remain good friends, he's told me he misses me, loves me and still wants to be with me and that he hates being single except that he can be with his guy friends all the time and do whatever he wants and in every past relationship his girlfriend never let him hang out with his friends so he thinks he knows everything and that im going to be the same way and its definately not like that at all. hes playing with my heart and my head and i dont know what else to do but cry because ive done the whole let him come to you and HE DID but with just words. all he ever tells me is that he misses me loves me and wants to be with me but doesnt want to stop the friends thing and won't listen to anything i say that im not the girl to keep him from his friends. i love him to death and in my heart i know we will be together again but its like he wants me to wait till he gets {the single boy} out of him but i dont think thats fair to me at all. and im not on his schedule but at the same time its hard for me to not wait for him. were in love. i dont know what to say to him or do to show him that im the girl that will make him so happy and be everything he wants from a girlfriend. hes even told me he wants to marry me. but he cant commit to anything. im heart broken and confused. HOW TO I GET THROUGH TO HIM AND GET HIM TO COMMIT???!!!!

Sarahh.! 2 years ago

Dear Essy.

Please Help Me! My boyfriend just broke up with me last week. Im a complete mess. I dont know what to do. Im in my sports and I try to have fun with my friends but this isnt working out! He knows im a mess becuz my friends tell him. He says he's sorry and someday "I'll love a guy more then I ever did him." I cant shape up. I need serious help. Save Me From Drowning... -Sarahh.!

ciaraa 2 years ago

so my boyfriend broke up with me a month ago. when we were together, he was PERFECT to me. he always took me to dinner, paid for everything, cuddled with me constantly, and was just the most perfect boyfriend i could ever ask for.

but for some reason, i didnt ACT like that towards him. i gave him attitude alot, and i never "poured my heart out" to him. i loved him though, it was just hard for me to show it 100%

so he ended up becoming unhappy, just like anyone else would. and broke up with me 6 months later. i was DEVASTATED. and right when he broke up with me i knew all my mistakes, and i regretted everything. we still talk, and everytime we talk the subject comes up. hes not as nice to me anymore, and he doesnt care anymore. and i feel as if its all my fault. and ive told him im sorry 349830495 times. and i named exactly everything i did wrong. and i asked him for a chance to prove to him thats not me, and i can change. at first he didnt want it, but then he gave in, and i have my chance. but its only for two weeks, and at the end of that two week time frame, hes going to make his desicion on whether or not he wants to be with me. i just need to know how to win him back COMPLETELY in the next two weeks.

we're not broken up, and we're still together. i just need to put the spark back in it. but its hard when he's not 100% open-minded to it :/ i just feel like i hae to show him i can change, so if he DOES break up with me in the future, he may possibly have a reason to want to come back, as apposed to breaking up like how we are now. i was horrible to him. and i regret it so much. and i just dont know what to do :/

mitc0750 2 years ago

hey Essy84 well i think ive already messed up ive tryed not calling him couldnt do that ...but i wasnt crazy, i called once or twice a day sometimes i didnt call at all, but we endded up talking and he said he was thinking about maybe getting back together but, i need some advice to boost his thoughts because ive already done pitty and told that it was really rough for me and that i wanted him back how do i fix my wrongs so we can be together agian and make him have no doubts

Toni  2 years ago

I Finished way my bf like 2 weeks ago and he was lying to me for about a week. i was online the other day coz he texted me telling me to go on and when i went on he had another lassies name in his name. he told me that he was completely over me and that he never wanted to see me again then told me 2 days after he might come up and see me. should i say yes or no? he also told me last nyt he still liked me alot and i said you told me you never and he said sorry but he is moving up closer to me but he is going way someone who he can see all say just now till he moves and he was going to be coming up all the time when i am at school and that? should i get back way him if he asks me? please help me coz i dunno what to do anymore!

Ana 2 years ago

WHAT DO YOU DO IF YOU'VE ALREADY DONE THE "DONTS" ? How can I fix everything and get him back? I know I've pushed him alot further away by doing everything you SHOULDNT do.. But he still says he wants to be friends and that MAYBE we will try again in the future.. How do I get his feelings to come back? I've already messed it up so much..

Skewl Gurl 2 years ago

well, i have an x that i love sooo much but he seems so like ignore me and hate me. We are still frends and he's just ignoreing me... Do you Think It has to do with me being ugly? i mean im only 11. so them boys are thinking about the persons cuteness.

Babygirl_K 2 years ago

Okay my boyfriend just recently broke up with me but I have alot of his clothes. Do I give them back to him, do I keep them, do I drop them off at his door? Im completly clueless on what to do !

anniecakes 2 years ago

Okay so I think I probably read this too late, me and my boyfriend broke up about 3 weeks ago and i have pretty much been talking to him everyday he doesnt seem to mind it but I have definately messed up rule no. 1 not a good start. we were together for 2 and a half years and I broke up with him and I know I had my reasons (he didnt spend much time with me and went months without seeing me for a whole day even though we live about 15 minutes away from eachother) he put hobbies before me too but I think even if I do decide I dont want him back I would like him to want me back or at least be able to forget about him and move on. After we broke up I spoke to him and basically begged for him back and he told me he wanted to be single, this as you can imagine broke my heart because it was me that broke up with him because I knew it was the best thing to do for me but now i'm so lonely and just miss feeling loved and him and everything we had saying this i know he would have to change and am not sure that he would because when we were together he always promised he would and basically didnt even try :( Please help I think i've messed up before I've even decided what I want

yulia 2 years ago

hey essy,

If its not too much trouble...

I'm going through a really hard break up right now and i stumbled across this page while i was hopelessly looking for answers/help and i would really appreciate some advice from you because you seem like you know what youre talking about and you are also extremely optimistic. i need some of that!

I'd like to tell you whats up but could i email you privately? i hope its not too much trouble...

thanks! and happy new year!

Lindsey 2 years ago

Hi Essy, I tried to email you before but I just found out you don't do one on one replies anymore. Anyways, I bought one of the books you recommended on how to get my ex boyfriend back. I hope it really works. I started using the techniques they were talking about, and I hope it will work. It seemed like it has but too soon to tell.

Caz 2 years ago

Well, I split from my ex 12 months ago - he's with someone else and I still think about him every minute of every day and desperately want him back. We have a line of contact but it's limited and I am thinking of calling / e-mailing him to meet for a coffee which he suggested last month. What do I do???

alaskan_angel 2 years ago

...My BF of 2 years broke up with me 5 days ago [[on the 2nd of Jan 2010]]. He just broke up with me out of the blue. I mean...before New Years we were doing pretty good. He said that he DID want to be with me. I asked him a couple times because I was feeling that he was losing interest in me, so I asked him a couple times "babe do you want to be with me?" he said "yes I do want to be with you". then i was really assured that he wanted to be with me. I felt awesome and I felt that he really did want to be with me. His brother and sister in law was went to Hawaii for a couple weeks and the day they came back was the day he started ignoring me. He dropped me off at my sisters place and i thought he was going to come and pick me up...so i was just chillin watching tv and he called and asked me if something he found was mine, so i said no. I didnt call him for a couple hours and i was wondering what he was doing so i texted him asking him what he was doing, he said he was picking up his brother from the airport. then after that he ignored me for a couple more hours...so just to get his attention i asked him if I can go out with some friends he just said go ahead. from there he ignored me for like 2 days. His cousin is my best friend...and so i was texting her asking her if she can go on his myspace and see what his status was...she texted back and said he made it to "SINGLE". I was like OMG...this guy is never going to let me go back to him...so i went all nuts on him through texting...and i got him to text me back. he said i am too young[[[He Just Turned 25 & I am going to be 21...I dont think i am that much younger then him]]], too bossy [[which i dont think i am, because when i was with him it was always his way or the highway]] and too demanding but the story goes on and on. I was texting him all kinds of stuff the other night...i was spillin my heart out...I know i shouldnt have done that...but i couldnt help it. So he said he never wants to go back to me again. He said we are done FOREVER. I cant handle that...I LOVE HIM. He was my first love, the first guy i actually gave a chance to, the first guy who I actually loved with all my heart.[[i had exbfs who loved me more then anything but i wasnt ready. I didnt really love them so i dumped them]]. So this recent exbf of mine is acting like a total bonehead. he is ignoring me completely, telling me to leave him alone and he even told me if i dont stop texting him he is going to change his number. this is such a twisted up story but i hope you can understand. What i am trying to say is that after i found out he dumped me, I went all out on texting him because he wasnt answering any of my phone calls. And I really want to be with him. i just dont know what to do. I spilled my heart out to him and he is acting like i was never a big part of his life. I mean c'mon, 2 years of being together isnt all that long, but to me its long to me. please tell me what I should do or say to him so he can want to be with me again. I love him with all my heart. ~Thank you and God Bless~

Linda 2 years ago

Five and a half years, probably four small splits but we always managed to mend the little problems. Then his son marries the woman from hell and she quickly interferes with our relationship. They have been married for two years and he wants to protect their marriage so he won't tell this witch to back off with her rudeness toward me. Her statements constantly yell "you're just the girlfriend, you have no say about anything" however, we technically have lived together. All of this started after he had a heart attack and changed his will leaving all his holdings to his son. At no point was I ever part of his will, we both agreed on this. His holdings are quite substantial and his son and wife are just the oppisite broke and always asking for money. Enough was enough and I thought moving out would build a fire under him to resolve the issue. The following day he dropped off what items I couldn't fit in my car and made it clear it was over. He is alredy activly on a dating online site in fact three days later with the help of his son and the daughter inlaw from hell. We had alot of fun together and loved our life together, so I thought.... any ideas on this situation?

nicole 2 years ago

can anyone help me ?

me & my boyfriend got into a big fight, so i got really angry and i dumped him , he kept asking me all night would i get back with him but i rejected him (hoping he would beg me)and when i woke up i tried to sort things out but he didnt want to know he came up to see me but he told me he doesnt want to be with me because its hurting him everytime we spilt up, what should i do and why do you think he's being like this? many thanks if you can help i want him back badly xx

ellie x 2 years ago

Im going to try that at work on Monday =D

The thing with me & Him is that we break up He says he needs space & he dosent know how he feels about me & Then he asks me Back out again.. Its harddd!!

Well i cant wait 2 Try this out!! Thank you so much x

MegPie 2 years ago

Ok so my Ex boyfriend and i have broken up twice now in the past year or so.. I constantly blame myself.After not talking for a while,we are good friends now. He is talking to a girl but he still comes to my house & he has even spent the night! He acts like we did when we went out and i have asked him if we would ever get back together and he said I just dont know____-WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??!

Char 2 years ago

I want to tell you that these points are quite effective. I am still on my way but it seems working. He was depressed and we were having long distance relationship. We never stopped talking but i cut it to mim. Later he became the one who initiated the contact. And last week he asked me if i really want to throw everything away. I guess I screwed it a liitle by acting depressed after he said that. Don't make the mistake as I did.

Anyway, they worked. And you should know that it's not about acting ok. You have to feel ok and confident. I know it's hard. There were many days I couldn't eat, sleep or stop crying. I know how hard it is. But "be strong" is important. Really, think about it. You are trying to attract him not scare him away. Your guy knows you quite well. It's hard to pretend. No contact can help a liitle but emotions are hard to control. So really work on to get you feel better. He will notice that.

And understand that it may take sometime, be patient and control yourself. (I am also stressing it to myself.)

Jessica 2 years ago

I want to say that your article saved me. I will be reading it time and time again when I am at my weak points. But I do feel I can start to move on. Thank you sooo much! You gave better advice than my friends.

Talia 2 years ago

Hi Essy, everything sounds really great, and I hope you can help me. My boyfriend of two and a half years and I just broke up.. not even three days ago. Well, he says's that he's upset and will maybe consider going back out with me, but not anytime soon. Do you think he will come around? I took crap allllllll day the day of the break up from one of his friends telling me how I treated him like crap and stuff. You see, I'm in college, while he is only a senior in high school, and when he goes to PSU main, we will be like 3 hours apart. So, I broke up with him when he told me he committed there. I didn't really mean it, I think I just wanted some reassurance that "no, no, we're going to be fine." But that didn't happen. And of course, I've already broke all of the cardinal rules.. apologizing for everything, begging, and crying. Yeah.. I broke all of your rules lol. But he texted me this morning thanking me for being his friend on FarmVille on facebook (haha). And I wasn't planning on texting him today at all, but he texted me. So now, I've texted him back, just completely agreeing with the breakup, and now the hard part will be not talking to him. It just is terrible because he has his best friend talking bad about me. For me, I feel like this is it. He says I stopped making him happy, but I know that's not true. Five minutes before we broke up he was joking about what he was getting me for Valentines day. It just happened so suddenly. And I have really bad depression and self esteem issues, so I guess my constant complaining about that had something to do with it. But he never mentioned that when we were together, about me not making him happy and that my self esteem was an issue, so the day of the breakup I cintacted my school and I plan on going to counseling. And he just doesn't seem to care at all, or care that I'm changing. He also says that he doesn't love me anymore, but.. I don't see how that's true. I mean, after 2 and a half years you don't just stop loving someone. Like for me, he's the one. I don't want anyone else, I only want him. I don't miss the relationship, I miss him.

Do you think that we could reconcile the relationship?

jay 2 years ago

Hey Essy, i'm glad i ran into your site, you sound so upbeat and practical, this alone makes me feel better/more optimistic about my situation.

Cat 2 years ago

Great stuff here. I broke up a few days ago, BF moved out and he says he wants to start living alone. He says we fight too much. Tonight he wants to come by to pick up his stuff and see how I'm doing. Is that a good idea? He is still friendly and apparently cares about me.

Brittany 2 years ago

so me and my boy friend just broke up yesterday and it has been almost ten months we have been together. i kept calling him last night, and of course he was getting annoyed and getting very mad at me for doing this. i left him alone and i got a good night rest. when i woke up i remember that i don't have him in my life anymore. i texted him right away and we were talking normaly. he was talking about how we could be "best friends" and or "best friends with benifits" which i don't want. i want him to just love me again. he keeps telling me "you need to get through this" or "it's not easy." the reason he broke up with me is because he doesn't want a girl friend. he tells me he loves me and he is acting perfectly normal towards me. he said that we can still hang out and such but i just want the lable "girl friend" and i don't know why he did this. i didn't do anything. i can do anything, eat, sleep, or hang out with my friends. i just dropped the plans with them because i'm too sad to do anything. i cried all yesterday and today. i have the "need" to call him and text him.

Broken 2 years ago

Hey, Thanks for the article. ive been broken up with my bf now for 2 months and regret sooo badly not reading this article earlier, as i have made many mistakes in these 2 months. ive got a problem now, its his birthday on friday and party on sunday. what should i do? should i go? should i say happy birthday on his birthday or should i just ignore him all the way? HELP!

thanks

joanna 2 years ago

Heyy your article has helped me alot! To sum things up, well my ex dumped me because we got into a fight and his mother began to disapprove of me. Finally she banned us from dating and it seems like all those feelings he had from me just disappeared and now hes acting coldly towards me. I feel pathetic because I know I should ignore him but I keep calling him :/ I really do want him back and I'll try to follow your advice and hopefully it'll work out. Thanks!

LilMiss81 2 years ago

Hey, this article is really interesting! :)

I would love your advice on my situation:

Well, i started seeing a guy 2 months ago, he was so romantic and lovely and i made an effort in not getting too "close" to him straight up. Now may i also say he is in the army, and i live 50min away from him. He is also very laid back and doesnt like conflict. Anyway he has been on leave and been interstate and also overseas (with chicks and guys) but has kept in contact and has requested to see me on weekends in between his jet setting. Anyway my problem stems from facebook, he would update his status and have about 20 girls write stuff on it. At first i was ok with this but as he has been overseas i was missing him and started to get jealous.. so i messaged one of the girls asking how she knows him... he freaked but didnt tell me he knew and blocked me on facebook which i was unaware of. He called me when he got back on the sat from being overseas, got me to hang out with him, spend the night and then take him to the airport to see his family. i found out when i got home that he had blocked me. 2 days later i asked him in a text if i was his girl he said he wasnt ready for a relationship as his last one scared him and you cant rush these things. i let my emotions take over and told him i didnt think he was very nice and was cruel and that i knew about him blocking me he said messsaging one of his friends and he found creepy. I told him to never call me again and deleted his number. Now.. just over aa week later i want him back and realised i over reacted. His 2 housemates are being deployed and leave tuesday so i no he will be home alone and bored as he starts back at work on monday. i text him yesterday (first time) that i was wondering if i happen to call past his house if the door would be slammed in my face. No response but not suprised as he is a bit of a thinker. I dont think he has told his mates as they still talk to me like nothing is wrong. They are having a going away party on the weekend and one of them even said to me to keep that boy in line (haha) I just want him back in my life..

Tori 2 years ago

Okay. my sistuation is hard to explain. we have been together for almost ten months he my first true love, and Im in love wit him , we do fight alot. but nothing too serious. hes giving me lots of chances, and i broke up with him last week because, he was doing stuff behind my back, then we decided to go out again, but anyways, all of the suddem last night we got in a fight over the same thing as last weekend and he drove me home, and he never said he was breaing up with me, but he didnt answer any of my calls all niht or today or my texts, until 540 heansswered and said he was done, he shut his phone off all day, so i flipped and started having an anxiety attack (common, but the wrost one ive had) anyways, i called him repeatdly about 1 hr. 30 mins. ago and he finaly answereed and i bawled and told him to give me oe more chance and just cried andbegged him for like 20 mins then he said he had to go and and hewouldnt even tell me he loved me .. i dunno what to do, i already beged him , i texted him andtold him to text m before bed, but then i told him that i will give him some time to think, aout everything i sid for as long as he wants, i know he wont go and find anyone else because he is too busy for that. i knw he wont find anyonejust i need to knowhow to get him back i dont know if the whole ignoring him and moving on with my life thing will work, because what if he just doesnt care anymore. weve been through so much, i love him tdeath he is my everything and im justso sad.

Heartbroken 2 years ago

Hi, My boyfriend just told me to break up last week and right now I feel so bad, he told me that he will never come back to me but I still love him and I want him to come back to me again, He said that he boring and he doesn't feel anything to me anymore. if like it on this way already do I still have chance to get him back?

Heartbroken 2 years ago

he also say he doesnt happy to be with me anymore.

Heartbroken 2 years ago

My Ex and I broke up about a month ago. We were together for a year and I am completely hopelessly in love with him still. We met each other the first day of college. He had feelings for me since day one but I had to warm up to him. We were completely in love and then one day he started to drift. We had a couple of minor fights in the beginning because i was afraid to get too close and then finally i changed and we never fought again. When we broke up he said that we are "too different" and that I drained him out in the beginning of our relationship. I want him back so badly, it hurts. All my friends are his friends so its been really hard. Help me get him back. I love him more than anything. He was the best thing thats ever happened to me.

-Tess

beach grl 2 years ago

I need help! My ex wants me to come and stay with him in his country for a week, we have not sean each other in almost a year.

I came to visit last year three times and it was the last time when we split and I was supposed to come back and move in with him after that. However it didn't go like that. He is from Costa Rica, he is a single dad with his own business and succesful at both, dad and business man. I don't know what my place in thier culture is, i am well educated however I want to be the mom of the house, please help. I am the one buying the ticket i don't want to make an expensive mistake, again. I love this man. I am shocked he wants to see me. when he dumped me I broke all three golden rules . Beach grl

Lynn 2 years ago

Hey Essy

My boyfriend and I have been broken up for 11 months. Ironic as it may sound to you, but we dated for only 2 weeks. We were so in love, he was definitely crazy about me. I loved him so much that I was a bit too clingy. It all happened unintentionally. Finally he realized that he needed his space. He gave me the option, either to break up, or to give ourselves a second chance to slow things down and "start over". I refused to stay with him because he hurt me after he claimed that he began to "lose his feelings" towards me. Afterwards, I showed no sign of intrest in him. I thought of ways to revenge him and they were a success. I felt way more confident and much better about myself, but sadly I wasn't completely over him.. We were no longer on talking terms but we ran into each other during events. Surprisingly a few months ago, he talked to me assuring me that he had strong feelings for me in the past. My response was pretty cold but I did mention that he hurt me. A few days ago, I made a move and talked to him on MSN. We talked about basic things like "how was your winter break" or "what you been up to recently". 2 days later HE talked to me on MSN. My heart was palpitating and right now I just want to impress him all over again. I want him to remember me as the girl he fell for when he first met. I want him to get over how clingy or needy I was back then when we were together. What do you think I should do? Shall i talk to him or wait till he talks again?

Marisa  2 years ago

thank you for the help i really liked him ALOT!!! and im still going to try and win him back! Again thanks 4 the help

natasha 2 years ago

hi my boyfriend of three years broke up with me two ddays ago. he said he was thinking and in his situation he needs to break up with me. he has broken up with me in the past over the whole space issue but he came back with in two weeks or so. i love him. i want him back, i did kinda do the wrong think but i did text and beg for like a day but now i cut off any kind of contact. i dont see em and talk to him, it did work last time, he said he loves me and came back. so i dont know i want him back so much i love em and we have been together for so long and i want a future with him.

Syin 2 years ago

Hi Essy84,

I think you are a very great person. You really give ppl good advise and help ppl to get back their love again.

This is my first time reading ur blog as I m just heart broken.. I just look around and i found ur blog.. u are really an amazing n talented!! :)

A big CHEERS for u... :)

lilmiskris 2 years ago

hey essay

my boyfriend and i were together for 10 months... it might not seem that long but i would to anything for a second chance with him.

He broke up with me in october saying he didnt love me anymore. i went 3 weeks without talking to him till he called me to meet him. in december he said he wanted to get back together with me and thinks about me all the time but somehow things didnt work out and we didnt get back together.

now...february (4 months since we broke up) and over a month where we didnt talk i connacted him but he only gave me short answers.

please give me advice what I should do. I feel so lost without him. Do I still have a chance?

issabelle  2 years ago

lilmiskris hello i have something to say about your situation...not talking to you properly doesnt means that he dont like you but it has other aspect also that may be he is with other girl now because this happened somewhat with me also my boyfriend was having other girlfriend besides me and when i came to know i just broke up...why dont you a guy who is caring friend of yours and take you seriously...

Yumberry 2 years ago

Hi, I thought this is absolutely great! I don't mean to brag but I have done this without reading any kind of articles on how to cope break ups or even winning him back. But reading this made feel absolutely confindent about myself. Thank you so much!

Furthermore, does it depend on how long you been with a guy. I only been with him for 2 months and one week. But deep down it was geniune and that's what he said to. Is it possible still he would want me back? That's all thank you Essy!

kailee  2 years ago

this makes so much sense my boyfriend just broke up with me a few days ago and i wanted to call him soo bad but i didn't cause i thought i'd be making myself look desperate and that i couldn't move on without him so i decided i wasn't going to let him have the satisfaction of him knowing it killed me inside so when i seemed happy he sent me a text saying so now your happy and i replied yes so that immediately made him begin to feel bad i know this because his friend Nick who he was with had told me :) now that him and his new girlfriend are fighting nick said he cant stop thinking about me!! the only problem hes moving in two weeks :(

jemma 2 years ago

i have a question..

Me and my bf have been going out for over a year. He treated me so well and it was genuine mature love on his part. I was a jealous angry person who took everything out on him but he saw the beautiful person i was underneath it all. He called a break a month ago to just get over me fighting and causing agruments at the time. we still love eachother and dont wanna see anyone else but its hard to not talk cause he lived in my dorm 2 doors down on the same floor and were designers so our studios are very close to eachother (we spend all our life there working on projects).. he still loves me but i ran into him the other day and he said "i dont want to disappoint you.. i wanna come back to you and be happy but i feel like its just getting harder and harder to be happy" ... over the break i changed into a completely different person . im everything hes ever wanted but maybe its too late? he said he wants to live with me in a year just recently before the break... idk what to think . im giving him time to get over my horrible actions . he loves me so much but how can i make him fall "in love" with me again?

dressedinred 2 years ago

My boyfriend broke up with me a month ago, i haven't forgot bout him. We met once after we broke up, he admitted he still had feelings for me. I made a wrong decision by trying to make him pity me, by telling him how much I still loved him. What do i do now? I want him back so much.. The girl he's with at the moment is my enemy, she's going to be out of town for the weekend so this is my chance t try and get him back again. So, any advice?

mackenzie793 2 years ago

my boyfriend broke up with me and he says we arent done forever... but he wont talk to me. should i give him space and he will come back?

Kayla 2 years ago

My boyfriend told me that he will always come back to me and end up with me but when i call him he act like he doesn't wanna talk to me he hangs up in my face...but i know he care and love me..but he doesn't show it....and its really hard for me to foget about him because i ride the same bus he sits by me and we used to always be on the phone together...we did everything together....? PLEASE HELP MEEE ASAP !

Alex Langford 2 years ago

Thank you sooo much! This is what I needed to hear. ha, my boyfriend broke up with me after two years. for a girl he dated in eigth grade. it pissed me off soooo, yeah.

Chelsea 2 years ago

Im 17 and i dated this guy for 6 months. he was my first boyfriend, first real love, and everything. he lives 2 and a half hours away but came home every weekend to see me. one weekend he couldn't come home and i was devastated. the next day he came home to surprise me for valentines day and i lied to him. i never have lied before. he thinks i cheated but i swear i didn't. i just didn't want him to worry about where i was. he has never treated me to anything ever. i always pitch in gas money but he only pays for gas with his student loans. i always was the sweetest girlfriend to him and he got mad at me for the dumbest reasons. he broke up with me and i of course went crazy and called and texted him for 2 days. after he didnt answer. i made my facebook status "youre loss". i havent called or texted him in 2 more days. its like i was always the best girlfriend and he was a bad boyfriend but then one day i make a mistake and he ends it. he basically had the life though. he came home, had sex with me, took my money, and dumped me. although we honestly loved eachother. i kinda think this is meant to be because he became too big a part of my life but i still miss and want him soooo bad. what do i do and do u think its over forever or he will come back to me? do u think he will move on quickly?

ss 2 years ago

Hi Essy. Read your article and its amazing but i am not quite sure if it will help me as my situation is different and i really need your advice on it.My bf broke up with me 2 days back and last night we had a talk but he said he wont patch up at any cost not even after 2 months or 2 years but i want him back. Is there any chance of him coming back o me. I will tell you the whole story if u need to know it but i just didn' type it just now because its too long and firstly i would like to know should i hope he'll come back or give up and move on.PLEASE do reply i really need your help.TAKE CARE!!!:(

Bella 2 years ago

How long did it take for Donna to win David back?

Trying to be Patient 2 years ago

My boyfriend and I had an awesome relationship at the start (literally, the best thing ever, we were inseperable and so so happy), then one night things happened at a bar that were out of my control, and he broke up with me. We somewhat tried to continue dating after that, but since I couldn't let go of what had happened (and was continually asking if he'd take me back and asking how he felt, etc). i was pushy and very insecure. He eventually told me he didn't think it was going to work, but that we could still hang out. That was about 2 weeks ago. I saw him once more and things went fine. Then I talked to him after that and somewhat pushed things again (which i know is really bad), and he said it's definitely over.

I haven't called or talked to him in over a week, but i also haven't heard anything from him... I don't know what my next step should be. Can you help?

Star09 2 years ago

Hello Essy,

My ex boyfriend and I had been together for 4months last month in January he had warned me saying i cannot guarantee your happiness because i become unattentive in relationships and lose interest. A few weeks later we broke up he said he felt our relationship had been fading away , he says it happens in every relationship he gets involved in .The same night we broke up i went to his house and have been to his house 5x since the breakup. Hes talking to lots of girls and its bothering me since he claims he cares about me. Maybe our relationship faded because there was too much sex constantly when we were together. I never cheated and stayed faithful even though i accused him of cheating a few times it probably got to him ( hes a sagittarus) but i love this guy and hes means the world to me and his family and i are great too. How can i get him back?

loveme-lovemenot 2 years ago

Hey Essy,

This is the best ever page I have read about breakups, thanks for it!

I will play the game, worth a try

I am in love!

xxx

Sabrina 2 years ago

Hiya Essy,

I just wanna tell you that your page has made me feel so much better, my boyfriend broke up with me yesterday and I know i'm going to get him back and that's thanks to you, he's been stressed with work a lot and I didn't make it much easier on him, but I see that now and I'm gona find a way to show him we're supposed to be together.

Thank you for giving me the confidence i needed to believe i can get him back

x x x

mo 2 years ago

my ex and i broke up in july 2009 we are now 22 and we were together for almost 6 years and he said that we dont want the samethings in life and that he doesnt want marrage or babys and im ok with compromising but he wont and i told him thats what i want in life but not now and it still didnt hold him and everything was going ok til that night he told me that he loved me but he wasent in love with me and i guess he was talking to his mom before he told me so i wasnt even awere what was about to happen and i dont know how to get him back and hes not moving on cause i asked him if hes found anyone but wants me to and that i can fined better someone better then him but i just want him i need help!!!! i want my bestfriend back

loveme-lovemenot 2 years ago

Hi there, me again,

It is working absolutely great Essyyyyyyy:) and despite the fact that we are 1557 miles away from eachother at the moment. He was here with me for 2 weeks, left 1 week ago and he didnt even show me this much interest while he was here:))) I was always thinking it could be a good idea to play such a game with him and shock him but I was always scared about it; it is a great coincidence to come across your page, though I dont believe in coincidences, but the law of attraction:)

xxx

heartbroken 2 years ago

my boyfriend of about 1 year broke up with me. the thing that makes me most upset is that he already has another girlfriend. how am i suppose to win him back if he has another girl. its been about 3 months since the split. what do i do? i miss and love his so much.

rachel  2 years ago

hey essy, my boyfriend broke up with me this morning. he said that he cant deal with my constant emotions and cant give me the emotions i need out of him. and that i talk of living together and he doesnt see that. he said he is used to being self dependent and doing things his own way (he was in active duty for 4 years so he is very used to the military life.) anyway, he is getting his tonsils taken out right now as we speak and he told me not to come to the hospital, but i think if i show up later on tonight there with a get well balloon and his favorite milkshake since thats all he can pretty much eat, that itll show that i care and i do want to talk and work things out. but im not sure if i should go or what i should say? please help me!

rachel 2 years ago

also, im not a clingy girl i havent been texting him or anything all i asked if i could come see him after the surgery. it wasnt a bad break up we didnt exchange any hurtful words or anything. and our relationship was good whenever we were together. we had alot of fun together tons of talking no cheating no lying we were always straight up with each other which is what ive always wanted.

Jackie8609 2 years ago

My boyfriend of 8 years broke up with me out of the blue. We were doing really well but I went away for a week and during that time he spent time with one of his girl 'friends' who he discovered he had feelings for so he thought it's only fair to break up with me. Now he's just completely replaced me with this other girl and it's only been 2 months since we broke up. I don't want to replace him with anyone, I still love him and I don't think it's healthy. He's doing all the same things we did together with this other girl. To make matters worse he works with the girl's mom who was trying to break us up and get him to go out with her daughter for years before he actually did. Now I think he feels like he can't break up with her because then he'd have to leave his job. She's completely wrong for him and her mother's been manipulating him from the start but he doesn't see it and I don't know how to get him to see it without seeming like I'm just trying to get him back. I know that I am right for him and not her but I don't know how to show him. I don't think he's lonely or missing me so much because he has her. I don't know what to do. Please help :(

Jessie 2 years ago

This is really helping me A LOT . I have re-read it about 10 times now. Im going through a break up after a 3 1/2 year relationship. We broke up a little over 2 months ago now. I love him more then anything and scared I already ruined my chances of getting back with him. I did ALL the wrong things. Plus I found out he has been talking to another girl he met online and they have still yet to meet because of the distance. It sucks to because the past week or so we have spent more time together then we have in a long time and the only time we fought was because of her. We still kiss and pretty much act like we are together. And I figure because of this we would of been back together if it wasnt for her. Plus I dont even think she likes him that much, the only time she calls him is between 1 and 3 in the morning. I figure even if I dont hear from him it will be a good stepping stone for me to get over him. He keeps telling me he loves me but is not IN love with me and there is a chance of us getting back together just not right now but how long do I wait before I move on? I was really disapointed that you no longer recieve private emails. I understand tho. If you could give me some feedback though I would really appreciate it. Thank you.

Bri 2 years ago

You said in the example, that you made sure her ex knew about the lessons. How do I make sure my ex knows about my "activities" without making it seem like I want him to know?

LexiMarie 2 years ago

Hi Essy, Your artical is amazing! But I was wondering if you could help me with a not so similar situation...I have had feelings for this guy for 7 months prior to our encounter. Now, 10 months ago he was dating my best friend but we had developed feelings for eachother before then and did not persue them due to my friend having liked him as well. After they had broken up he and I started talking alot more and then he just stopped talking to me, deleted me off the social networking space and everything. I sent him a message and asked why he didn't want to talk anymore and he said he felt guilty for liking me. In Decemeber we started flirting way more than usual and he told me he wanted to date. We spent a night together and continued talking for two weeks, and then nothing...again. What should I do? I'm so confused & I know I've fallen for him, I'm to stubborn to let him go but my gut keeps telling me to stop all thoughts of him and therefore I haven't made any attempt to contact him.

Bopeep 2 years ago

All I can say is when I broke up with my guy the 1st time, I got the TW book you recommended. It worked, I got him back. But he broke up with me again..this went on for 4 times altogether! Yes four times. He's indecisive and couldn't make up his mind about us. Each time, I went through all the tears and heart break, picked myself up and did all the 'play hard to get' thing to win him back. The 4th and final time however, amid the tears and broken heart pieces it finally drawn to me I was such an idiot and I cut off contact for real and this time I really did move on with my life (unlike the other times where I pretended to have moved on to make him jealous and come back to me). I have since met someone else wonderful, who thinks I'm fantastic and stunning! Funny thing is, my ex has come back on the scene and is trying to get me back..and I'm proud to say I'm TOTALLY over him. Take him back? NO WAY! I found better... Life is great!

Sometimes the best thing to do is to move on for real. Sometimes the guy is really a waste of your time and effort. The book can only help you so far, use your instincts and brains to decide what your next step for the future is :)

sarah 2 years ago

So i need help i was dating this boy tyler and thought he was the one and my mom hated him so i hide him and then this guy Nash who my mum loved i started dating him to and my mum new well i was hiding the to boys from each other and was really cold with Nash acted like i didn't care witch i thought i didn't then he broke up with me and i made a huge mistake Nash is the one i love and i dont know what to do? i gave him 3 months of space and started talking to him again im going away with him friday to go surfing but were not dating do i ask him back out tell him i want to try this again after the trip he said hes leaving in the summer for work about 3hrs away but im not sure if thats the truth. What do i need to do to get my Nash back please help!!!!

blondyy<3 2 years ago

heyy

umm, me and my bf split like 3 week ago, he's now with some other girl, but i miss him so much :/

and i have no idea what to do, he said we was "drifting apart" and i got so upsett, beacuse i knew something was wrong for a few week but i didnt want to ask incase he though i was prying and sticking my nose in, i judt thought that if it was important he would tell me, and then he did....

he saw that i was really upsett, and we've been out a few times with other friends, but and i think that he's over me, and he thinks that im over him, but im not. And i think ive blown any chance ill ever have to get him back.

what should i do?

BobieJean 2 years ago

heyy, me and my boyfriend just recently broke up. he admitted that he missed me and thought of me every now and then though, which is a plus? he still wants to see me between our classes, and he wants to see me before school too...what do i do?! im really not sure. he likes that i still talk to him though, but should i show that im sad? even if he showed me that he is sad?

Daisy747 2 years ago

Geez, there's nothing louder than the sound of a cell phone that's not ringing or beeping! I get my strongest urges to call my BF in the afternoon hours..so that is when I need to keep busy.

Also, I just wish that it wasn't so taboo for our BF's to see us cry over the ending of a relationship..that seems to be our natural, instintive reaction. Where it goes wrong is when we take it to extremes and call too much, beg, plead, etc.

All I can do now is trust my BF's feelings for me, which were very strong. I am giving him his space and letting him miss me (hopefully). I am also going to throw in a little jealousy tactic...I am "joining a hiking group" (which he knows is full of guys).

sadstory 2 years ago

Essy:

My boyfriend and I broke up several months ago. We dated for about 5 months when his mother died unexpectedly. We had amazing chemistry and were great companions...enjoying each other's company and spending weekends together, etc. He claims that the break up has nothing to do with his mother dying (he broke up with me the day before her wake) and says that he did not love me....that it was too soon and that it takes him a long time to "fall in love." He broke up with me shortly after the holidays and he gave me really wonderful presents that he put a lot of thought into. He had also told me on several occasions when the subject of dating came up that I, "had nothing to worry about." I took this to mean that we would be together for a long time, and that I wouldn't have to go back out there looking. He always told me that I was the most even-keeled woman that he ever met...and he said he liked how supportive I was of him. The unfortunate thing is that we had our first fight just prior to his mom dying, so he was already upset and then all of this happened with his mom. He broke up with me, did not want me at the wake or funeral. I respected his wishes and stayed away, although I was heartbroken. I sent flowers to the house and sent cards to him, his father and his siblings, with heartfelt notes. Several weeks after the break-up he called me. I told him that I was sorry that he felt that way, but that I understood what he was saying and that I would have to move on. I told him if he needed someone to talk to that he could call me. Then I found the Kick Loves Ass forum online and read about the NC message. Several weeks after the initial break-up I sent him the recommended NC letter. Upon receiving it, he immediately sent me an e-mail asking if I was OK, then a txt message and an IM, also asking if I was OK. I did not respond and have had NC for about 3 weeks. My plan is to work on myself. I have been very busy with work and have been going out and catching up with my friends. I miss him terribly. The other day he unfriended me on Facebook. My plan is to contact him eventually, but I am not sure when I will do that. I do not live near him, we have no mutual friends, and there is no way we would ever be bumping into each other.

What are your thoughts on this? Do you think I have a chance, even though he is claiming that he did not love me? He was pretty grief-stricken, and when he initially broke up with me, he was in a rage. I had never seen him like this, but I understand that it was the grief. Overall, I was happy with how I handled the break-up. I stayed strong, and did not beg or plead....honestly I think he was expecting that.

Please let me know your thoughts on my situation. Thanks!

Confused 2 years ago

Started out with a guy knowing he was kind of seeing someone, said nothing serious, sparks flew between us like no other I've ever experienced, a real deep attraction/closeness, hard to explain, everything going fine, this girl all of a sudden moves to this area unexpected, didn't tell him, he was furious at first, then decided he wants to try and work it out with her now that she's here. I know he passionately fell for me like I did him. How do I win him back, I miss him so much.

Daisy747 2 years ago

still no contact..it's so hard..I want to contact him so bad but am feeling too emotional right now and not in control. Alyssa, I was just reading your post and it sounds like you may be feeling the same way..emotins out of control...it's best to let them simmer down a bit before conting him. I would suggest checking out the website kick loves ass and read through the suggestions that guy gives and read other people's posts..I was on it for hours last night and it shed some intersting light into my situation...

casio12 2 years ago

My boyfriend said he no longer wants to be in a relationship after dating 3 years. He picks me up to take me to work everyday because I don't have a car. So its hard because I see him everyday. He tries to keep everything on a friendly level. I was doing good playing it off like it did not bother me. I would not talk at first and that bothered him. So I started talking to ease our ride in the morning. Today I lost it and started questioning about why he wanted to break up, he said I was harassing him and nagging him. I fussed all the way home. I know he feels like he has the upper hand I am just hurt right now. We do not call each other. He calls in the morning to tell me he is outside. I know I made a fool of myself today but I could not hold it in. should I just pretend I am okay when I get in the car in the morning I asked did he meet anyone but he told me no, but I checked phone records and he has been texting 2 females. I told him about this and he went off and said its nothing and that he going to change phones. What should I do

Sandy 2 years ago

Hi Essy,

My boyfriend broke up with me 2 days ago and I already miss him so much. I was devastated and it was so unexpected that I did exactly what you're not supposed to do and cried and told him we could work it out. I've even called him since too. I'm finding it really hard to cope and I can't sleep or eat or concentrate. He said it would only be temporary but I don't see why he wouldn't just prefer to take a break?

He lives about 45 minutes from me and we have no mutual friends so there's no chance of us bumping into each other or him hearing about me unless it's via facebook or something, what should I do? I don't want him to forget about me :(

Katie 2 years ago

Hi Essy,

My boyfriend broke up with me a little over a week ago and said things like "I don't think we're right for eachother" and "I don't know if I'm ready". I've been playing it cool and not calling him (i have said hi occasionally on facebook chat) Then 4 days ago he said he missed me and if he could call me tomorrow, needless to say he never called me. Then today he finally changed his facebook status from "in a relationship" to nothing. I think he's been going through some stuff because he has been really down on himself (calling himself fat and stuff). He's been giving me majorly mixed signals, I just want him back and I want to help. I just don't know what to do :(

A 2 years ago

Howdy doody Essy,

Tell me if your tips go with my situation.

He broke up with me because there's things he REALLY doesn't like (don't know what they are), but he still loves me, he had no friends at the time and all my friends are guys, and he was jealous. Don't get this wrong, I'm no flirt, but I partied with some guys and thing is, I felt as if I had to tell him about the WHOLE party in order to make him unsuspicious but that made it worse and worse. I made him too jealous to handle. He's got friends now, he's told me he's very happy and loves his friends, which is good, but I'm jealous, I was his bestest friend before all this. Even if I had the best day ever, I'm still sad knowing he most likely doesn't care for me. I want him back but I'm not sure that making him jealous would be the right move.

alexis 2 years ago

me and my boyfriend brokeup about 3 months ago and im pretty sure i screwed everything up

once we brokeup, i texted him too many times and pushed him away. he has a new girlfriend now but it doesnt even seem like he likes her that much. ive tried everything to be with him again but once i found out he had a girlfriend i stopped texting him and everything.

is there anyway we can work things out?

hrissi 2 years ago

hey there. Me and my Ex boyfrind were together for more than 4mon. two weeks ago he broke up with me for the reason of ,,its not the same anymore'' . I know he loves me more than i love him. I was still very upset and we end in agreement to stay very close friends. I could not live with out him so i called him all thie time and i made him hang out. Today i came to your website and i saw what i did was wrong. Very wrong. I showed him that i need him and still love him and i even made his sister talk to him about it. Now he things im despret. How can i still get him back?

-pleace help me i can't live with out him

Sam 2 years ago

Hey My boyfriend says he doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore and that he still likes me he just can't be a "boyfriend" right now. I don't care what he calls himself all I want is for him to want to be around me again and give me the same attention. I fence with him and I see him at practice and I try to give him the cold shoulder and I never call him unless he calls me or I have an important question about fencing or something related. He actually still calls me at least 3 times a week and texts me but usually when he is bored or drunk... He says he likes me... But obviously not as much as he used to... What can I do in order to get him to find me irrisistable again in this particular situation?

Casey Andersen 2 years ago

Hi Esmeralda, thanks for this article.. it helps me a lot..

but i have to ask you one thing, in many articles about this subject, people keep saying, "limit your contact. Go outside his radar etc.." but what if he is the one who is text messaging me? he text me once almost everyday to ask what are you doing? and things like that. Should i reply?

the thing is, we are attending the same church, so i will have to see him at least once a week.. so I think that i still need to be polite in a way.. I did reply the previous messages in a short unattached way and usually i waited a few hours before I reply.. is that okay or i should just not reply at all? need your advice.. love -casey-

memz 2 years ago

hey there!

this really has worked wonders, i havent tried it yet, but the whole 'there maybe an actual chance' things has worked great for me! massive confidence boost just reading that! i am afraid though i am one of those 'pity seekers' as me and my boyfriend have just spit up. i truly am heartbroken but this has given me tremendious hope.

Dani 2 years ago

After a year being together my bf broke up with me we were in love with each other and planned to be together forever. he said it was because he said he did not trust me. But i never did anything except talk to people he didn't like. And he said he does not want a serious relationship. Also he said that the spark was kind of gone. But what hurts even more is that a day after we broke up he started dating this other girl. He says we can still be friends. He says he still has feelings for me. i just want him back so badly and i will do whatever it takes. I am trying not to call him but ill call him once a day. Sometimes he will call me. It has been 2 weeks since our brake up and we have not seen each other in almost a month. He says he misses me. I want to try to get him back but i feel like the only thing standing between us is his gf.

janelle 2 years ago

Hello!

My boyfriend recently broke up with me about one week ago. It was over trust issues and him needing his space. I am his first gf and we were together for about 10 months. I really wanted to call him up and tell him that I missed him and that I wanted to give him the so called "space" he needs. But after reading your article I realized that I should really focus on myself and if I want him back I need to let him go for the time being. It's sooooo hard! But I hope someone can please give me an advice on something! PLEASE!

So my ex is still my friend on Facebook, it is so difficult because I go on his page to see if he has added anyone or anything new. I want to delete him off my Facebook but then I'm scared to do so because it will seem like I hate him, I don't really know. Anyhow, I went on my Facebook when I got home from the movies it was quite late like around 1 and then I saw him on and he had added a new girl! It hurt me soooo much and I just wanted to call him and ask him if he really is moving on so fast! But I came here and read the article and it made me stronger! I don't know what to think??? The thought that keeps running through my head is: Is he going to go out with her?? Is he going to start talking to her?? Should I move on and just forget about it? I hope someone could please give me some advice on this! I would really appreciate!

Kayla 2 years ago

Hi,

My bf and i have been off and on for two and a half years now and trust me it gets old really fast because it kills me and its been a roller coaster to trust him sense he does all the leaving. He went to aunt and uncles about two weeks ago and every time he leaves is usually when he leaves me as well. We have always said we were meant to be and that theres a reason y he always comes back.. Im so in love with him and i cant imagine my life without him. Well its really complicated now cuz im pregnant and this is when i need him the most. Im 32 weeks pregnant and each day gets harder and harder on me. He says he still wants to be in the room with me when i have him and that he dosent want the baby living separate lives so we should just be good friends until then and then make the decision. I feel like its my fault that he broke up with me cuz the baby might not be his and he knows everything ive always been honest with him. We were planning on raising the baby our selves whether he was his or not and now everything has changed. We broke up last summer and i really thought it was over and i ended getting closer to one of his friend of the families not intending to sleep with him but im a very nieve and dumb person that when i get under pressure i give in. The worst mistake of my life. Im just scared that were over over and its stressing me out and killing me day by day we talk and hes said hes missed me and thinking i could be with someone else is killing him but then i started giving into my feelings and just freaked out telling him how much i miss him that i don't think i can do this and it seems like now ive just pushed him away more. What should i do i honestly dont wanna live my life without him but he seems like hes moving on just fine without me. HELP!!!

Arieta 2 years ago

My boyfriend and I after three years decided he couldn't take the distance any longer and ended the relationship. I had already talked to my friends and while I made a few slip up made sure not to talk to him and give him space and time to miss me.

I've also made sure to do things with friends and post comment son my facebook page about it as well as change my profile picture with a new one my art major roomy took. It's been four weeks without any actual contact but I did send him a message in facebook (not his cell) wishing him a happy Easter.

He responded back to me and it's the first time since the break up really that we've talked but it's hard to tell if he still has feelings for me. I have been a little devious and throw in small references that pertain to my conversations on facebook but also have meaning to the two of us and I don't know if I should or not.

Connie 2 years ago

Dear anyone who will give me advice,

My bf broke up with me a little less than a week ago. We met here in college and we hung out for a few months and then started dating for a few months. The break up came out of no where (at least for me). We have fought in the past, but any normal couple will fight, but we always made up after. When he broke up with me he was very quick about it. Told me he had been feeling unhappy for a while and that it was over. That entire weekend i was upset, confused, and angry. He had left it in such an awful situation i didnt know what to do. That following monday (2 days ago) he contacted me about some stuff i had left at his place, so i decided to take that opportunity to txt him back and tell him i had to ask him some questions face-to-face. So i went to his place that night and asked him what happened, because I was under the impression everything was ok. He told me that he didn't want a gf and just wanted to be single for a while. He also said that he gets bored easily and doesn't like to do long distance relationships (he would be going home for the summer..about 3 months...3 hours away from where i would be). He said he still wanted to be friends. (I did start to cry a little during this conversation I will admit.) That really hurt. I broke the biggest rule, and we slept together that night. I wish i could take that back a thousand times, but i messed up. He is the one person i want to be with (and yes i know time heals everything), but i really want to get him back. He was amazing to me when we were together and i want to know if he actually doesnt love me anymore. Im just scared that once he goes home for a few months it will be a lost cause. Please help!

loveee 2 years ago

Ok...so my ex-boyfriend broke up with me because he needed space and we were arguing constantly. So I was fine with the break up but then I lost it when I found out that he was going on a double date with a girl that I know! We had not talked in over a week. So I called him and confronted him about it! I know I shouldn't have but it was a stab to my heart. I asked him why he's moving on so fast and he responded by saying why should I care. He then told me that it's the only way to forget about me and that he is going to FORCE himself to move on??? Ok seriously, I feel like the bad guy in this picture does he hate me that much and never ever in his life would ever consider getting back with me. He is very arrogant and cocky, and I just can't handle the way he is. I hope someone PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE.

Dormica 2 years ago

hey Essy,

Me and my bf started going around 4 months back. Things were good in the first month but they got bad later. We broke up a month after that but patched up three days later because he started missing me. The break up took place because he thought i ignored him and i thought the opposite. After the patch up, things weren't same as before. Recently, during a chat, he said that he thought it wasn't working and he missed the way he and his ex had been (his ex is happy with another guy) but then he regretted later and said he wasn't in his senses when he said that. Now, we've again broken up and I don't know the reason. We both are no more talking to each other and avoid eye contact but I've noticed him looking at me. Please help (take into consideration that me and my bf are only 14 yrs old!)

Jenna18 2 years ago

I need some advice please.

my boyfriend left me because his parents don't want us together anymore. he said it was really hard for him and he still loves me and everything. but he just doesn't want to disappoint his parents. what do i do? i love him, and i need him back.

Jenny K 2 years ago

hey Essy,

i have been with the guy for 4 months, we used to see each other everyday the first two months because we were working together but then we started seeing each other less because im at school and he's at college

weve been having alot of problems because we were never an official couple since im 16 and he's 20, but i know he wwas madly in love with me and used to show it all the time

it has been 3 weeks now we are fighting because of stupid things and a week ago he said he didnt want us to go back back the way we were. the funniest thing is that we started working together again and are travelling twice in may together.. i was stupid and i havent stopped calling him to see if we can arrange things. he told me he still have feelings for me but not like before and asked me why couldnt we stay FRIENDS! friends after all we've been through! he saved my life 2 months ago, he has been my best friend for the last 5months and right now i feel so desperate and stupid at the same time.. i want him back and i thing that us travelling together in few weeks might be a second chance for us

he hasnt been coming to work this week because he had to "study" but im sure its also because of me since he has been going out alot..last week when we saw each other he said he wanted to arrange things but he changed his mind a day later.

he said taht weve been lying to each other all this time because we werent in a real relationship and asked me why cant we just be friends

please i need your help :)

Xxxx Jenny

Letoya 2 years ago

Hey Essy,

I loved this article!

It really give me a new perspective into what men want.

But I want to know what you think I should do in my case.

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 9 months. during the last 2 weeks he has been telling me that he doesn't know what he wants, and that he is confused. He sais that he's tired of the relationship. When we were together things were perfect, we had alot of connection. He has introduced me to his family, his friends and the people he works with and he saw that everyone really liked me, including his parents. I always made his friends laugh and we all had a great time together. and everyone told him that they were happy to see us as a couple, and that we fit very much together.

Despite all of this, I was the one who broke up with him because i didnt get anything from him in the past few weeks of our relationship. I felt like he was only saying that he's confused and he doesnt know what he wants, so i said to myself why should i let him hurt me when he doesn really call me much or hang out with me. So, i decided to let him know that I will forget about him and that I want to move on with my life.

His mother gave me a bracelet for christmas present and i always wore it until the day i told him to come and get his stuff from my apartment including the bracelet. And he told me, don't throw away the bracelet, keep it. I said no, and I saw how devestated he became.

Although, everytime I asked him he wouldn't say what the problem was, I figured it might be because me and him spent ALOT ALOT of time together when we were a couple and maybe i pressured him and he felt like he needed some space.

I just dont know what to do next. Sometimes I just wished he would call me so things would get better but I also keep in mind what you wrote in the article. I need some advice and want to know if You think it will work out between me and him, if he will eventually contact me and want me back.

I'd appreciate it if you could answer me,

thank u.

Letoya

KellyGirl 2 years ago

My boyfriend and i broke up about two months ago and now he likes my best friend. I don't really know what to do to get his mind off of her. I really need help, we were in love and i just want to be back together....

nysweettheartt 2 years ago

Essy-

Just last week my boyfriend was very sensitive to what I wanted and my feelings. We are both under a lot of stress considering we are both in the United States Army stationed in Germany. He has been away training for the past couple weeks which adds more stress which I understand. Last week he was telling me he loved me and missed me and couldn't wait to come home to me. He also told me I don't text him as much as I used to. Then this week he hasn't been texting me as much and then 2 nights ago he told me he loved me very much but I'm "smothering" him and if I don't relax I'm going to push him away. Then yesterday morning he texted me and we were fine all day until last night and he like snapped on me and told me that he's not the romantic sweet type like he acted like and the only reason he was doing it was to make me happy and he was upsetting me a lot so I finally told him I would just talk to him later..but I don't know if he is trying to push me away or if he's just really stressed b.c of being in the field and his up coming deployment. A couple weeks ago we were talking about getting married and he told me he wanted to marry me but he'd rather wait until we went back to the states because he doesn't want to have a court house wedding because he wants me to be able to look back in 10 years and feel like I had the wedding of my dreams..so how can he go from being so sweet to this in a matter of 2 weeks? I don't know what to do Essy. Please help.

Brittney 2 years ago

hey essy,

I need some advice.my boyfriend/father of my 10 month old baby just took off and packed his things last night. he was talking about leaving me for a while because we havent been getting along and i have been a horrible girlfriend to him by accusing him of things that werent true.We both would constantly do hurtful things.I hate how i treated him and still love him to the fullest.I want him back before its too late and he finds someone else!!help please. and its hard to stay out of contact with him because of our daughter!what do i do?

Vania 2 years ago

My ex boyfriend broke up with me yesterday because im not trustworthy. We've broke up about 3 times because I lied to him about the same thing over and over again. Soo...I used to like his best friend about 2 years ago (btw my boyfriend and I were together for 4 years)and I promised my ex I would stop texting him. I stopped texting for about a week and then I started texted him again and my boyfriend found out. I dont like his best friend now but hes a really cool guy to talk to. I really want my ex boyfriend back after all the times we've broken up. Im going to try and follow the rules even though ive messed up so many times and he hates me...

Jennifer 2 years ago

well i broke up with my boyfriend amonth and a half ago.... he moved on he has a girlfriend. he asked me to be his girlfriend again before his new girlfriend and i said no stupidly thinking he was going to stay single until i felt comftorable getting back with him, now im trying to get back i basiclly broke every single rule... i didnt know i had to do all this well now hes teling me to move on and to accept that weve broken up but i cant i want to get back with him and i dont think staying away is going to make the situation better.... hes not going to miss me if he has a new girlfriend. but wth. ill have to try it im desperate

Morgan 2 years ago

I love your article it inspired me ! because im trying so hard to get my ex back and i was doing all the things you said were wrong to do to get him back but now that i know all the right things im going to give it a shot! because i love him.

Thank You!

Lilly 2 years ago

First of all i want to thank you for your ground rules advice , second i broke up with my bf a month ago i'm so devastated and its being harder on me since his sister is my best friend and everyday we see each other.

My only problem is that i disrespected him in front of his parents, when i knew, at that moment, he's been cheating on me.

it is killing me i'm not eating anymore, neither resting, nor sleeping all the time i'm using a medication that will help me relax.

the problem is my dignity i can't apologize to a person who cheated on me

i'm not calling him since that day, and he did the same thing, i really love him and miss him and finally i REALLY want him back :(

thanks for your help.

Teresa 2 years ago

Hi I just read your article and I am afraid I read it too late. As soon as me and my boyfriend broke up I begged him and pleaded. But we broke up a month ago and I havent initiated contact with him in a while...so does that help my situation any or is it too late :S ? thanks

taylor 2 years ago

your advice made sense... i need help! my boyfriend broke up with me last night and idk what to do! he thinks i like this other guy because i talked to him a couple times! that guy started to like me and i didnt kno which one to choose then i stopped talking to the other guy because i loved my boyfriend and no one else! but then he dumped me and i want him back so bad i love him and id want to be with anyone but him but he wont talk to me anymore and he doesnt believe that i dont like the other guy so he dumped me and told my bestfriend and i think its really over! he is moving in a year too and i want him to be with me and no other girl! i dont want to be with any guy but him!

shioli 2 years ago

Hello, first i should apologize for my english cause I moved to Canada recently and was pretty busy studying for my exam that i could barely have time to improve my english but anyways, i met this guy at my cousin's birthday,his best friend for nearly 12 years was a kind of very usual guy nothing special about him at the first moment

,he was a divorced 31 years old guy having a job for 10 years( attending college for 2 years ),but happy sort of funny guy ,not pretty at all but i was lonely he came to me and we dated for 3 months ,almost always talking through the phone cuz he was working 5 hours away from where I live.

so i only saw him for 2 weeks on his vacation recently.

I used to talk to him and loved him more and more each day till i said i cant marry u, and as he planned on staying with me he said so i cant put all my love and happiness onto you and he left me so simple that i got into a deep shock.Because he had once divorced and he was not educated as i am and because he was not a man of my dreams i had to let him go,but i feel so sad, i honestly did like him but his feelings for me vanished so fast and i couldn't believed it till he didn't call me to wish me a happy birthday one week after our broke up :( please help me cuz still can't let him go in my mind .i removed him from facebook and messenger cuz i saw he was pretty moved on with his life and dating other girls and have fun and forgot me like i was dead for him the very first moment we met.

Katie 2 years ago

Hey! My boyfriend of 3 and half years just broke up with me because he said he didnt know if he had feelings for me anymore :( Of course I was and still am devestated. Unfortunantly I called and cried to him!!! But yesterday was the first day I haven't tried to contact him. We've been broken up for about 2 weeks now. Have I ruined my chances of getting back together with him since I called him and told him I could not be with out him anymore??? I need help!!!!!

Nicole 2 years ago

You know this is so right..You just have to stay strong no matter what! I messed up and called my ex because his brother's gf (which I know!) introduced him to a girl a week and a half after we broke up! I couldn't believe that my boyfriend of almost 1 year decided to do that! Anyhow, I showed him my weakness..and now I feel like I have completely lost him. It hit me quite hard the other night..I miss him, I wish I could take back all the things I did wrong. But I realized that in order to really move on is letting go completely. If it's really meant to be he will come back to me. But staying STRONG is the only way. He had his wrongs and doesn't recognize them. They always say, "you don't know what you have till it's gone." Anyhow, stay strong, have fun, and just remember if it's God's plan for two individuals to be together nothing and no one will stop love.

jess gb 2 years ago

hiya

this is really good advice

ive just split up with my boyfriend n ive been goin out with him for 2 years he split up with me because wanted some space and everything was getting too much

at first i found it so difficult n i rang him a lot crying but i realised that hes not gonna want me back if i do that we also decided that we were going to try and not talk to each other for a month and see if anything has got better. i also read this nd thought that i should listen to your advice. we agreed that we wouldnt talk much n that we would just ring each other once a week on a sunday but he rang me on saturday saying i rang u today because i miss you n iloveyou but he said that he still wanted some space because i had only left him alone for two days. do you think i am doing the right thing and do you think we will be together again thanks

krista_lash 2 years ago

Hey Essy.

my boyfriend broke up w/ me exactly a week ago On Sunday, saying "i am just unhappy with our relationship, i just need some time to find what makes me happy. if its you then ill come back.(started crying) I really love you, i really do" then he asked me to move out right then & there. i was so torn up about it cause just a day or two we was happy. so then after that he couldn't tell me why he's feeling this way.at all. so then "YES" i kinda did break your rule #2. just a little. to the point he wouldn't talk to me period for 3days. so i was just torn for those 3days. texting him & all of that. until i came to realize SO many help me see that I'm pushing him away even more & its going to be more complicated after that. so i stopped. went to his house to go get my cat. he was shocked & very upset that i came over unexpectedly. it DID take him a while to answer the door, but i just brushed it off. so i left w/o the cat, & came back 5min. later.heard a female in his house(one his mom introduced them), so i knocked on the door once again. took him 3min to open the door, again. so i banged louder. he opened the door even more pissed, "WELL SO WAS I" he lied to me. do i got mad to the point i punched him right in the jaw then slammed the door in his face. then i left. so then the next day he was texting me telling me how angry he was about my punching him. i told him " why wont you forgive me? i told you i forgave you & I'm truly sorry about hitting you" he got to the point where he said "i am bound to hit anyone right now cause, i got hit & i didn't do anything about it." so i said "so you would hit me?"... he told me "right now id hit anybody because i don't care anymore." i know for a fact Essy he wouldn't put his hands on ANY woman. He's not that type of guy. so i told him "why cant you just let it go? i told you i was sorry, it was an act out of anger. what do you expect? you lied to me & tried to hide her".. he said" OK i admit i was wrong for lying & ill apologize for that. but its not right for a female to hit a man & expect everything to be OK about it. so from now on I'm not being nice". i told him " OK" that was the end of that convo. when we texted the day after that he wasn't mad at me anymore because we had a regular conversation "AS FRIENDS". now its a week later we haven't had any contact what so ever. I now & then acknowledged that i have a "mamas boy" on my hands. she really haven't approved of me since day one. but it didn't really phase me cause im not in the relationship w/ his mom or his family. i was all about him. So now we haven't talked for two days going on now. I'm trying to find a job so i can work & get my mind off of him. I know he'll come back to me cause i actually treated him like no other girlfriend he's had before me. Ive been there for him when his dad died(I sat there & held his hand at the funeral the whole time). so i know for sure he CAN'T let me go that easily. Tell me am I doing ok now that i had my time to mourn over him leaving me. I still think about him alot, but JUST looking in the future. which is helping me out a lot. -Krista

Kitty6 2 years ago

omg!! thank you soo much !! i used this wit my ex nd he took me bak yay!! ur awsome!

MzBreeanne 2 years ago

Hey i need to ask a question what if you decided to go ahead and be friends after he left it up to you,would it be a bad idea to just hang-out as friends? he broke up with me 1 day before our anniversary and that hurt even worse because he was goin to come over, but if i called and asked if he wanted to hang-out with me and some friends and invited some cute guys would that be a bad idea???

-heartbroken14

Eunice 2 years ago

I've broke up with my 4 years bf last week. We had been having long distance relationship for almost 1 year now. On the day that we've broke up, he told me he feels that he doesn't feels appreciated and loved. And out distance grows. He feels he no longer love me anymore. I'm so desperate to want him back. I've cried and beg him back for 2 days. When he insisted, I've let him go. He's now back to school in another country. And I'm dying to go over to look for him. But I know I shouldn't as he had put it firmly across that he has no feelings for me and he finds that he is not loved and appreciated. How do I get him back?

Nadira 2 years ago

Thank you so much for your advice....it was like a miracle sent directly to me.....I know it's going to work....will keep you posted....So right now I'm in the stage of having to keep away from him....stop calling and begging and crying....Thanks so much again....Nadira

heartbroken 2 years ago

dear essy,

my ex broke up with me after a month of fighting on and off, he never showed any signs that he would end it with me. In fact he was always the one scared that i would leave him. After a heated arguement he finally called it quits and told me we could "still be friends". i told him he would regret his decision and that it was his loss because he would never find someone like me (he agree to both of these statements, and was VERY sad when he broke it off). I told him i didn't want to be JUST friends with him and that i was saying goodbye forever...my ex argued with me and resisted INSISTING we be friends. though i wish i had cut off contact with him from the start i continued to speak with him for a week after our breakup, which only made me feel worse.

he told me that he still loved me, but not enough to go back. that he didn't want to get hurt again, and that he doesn't feel the same way anymore. Thing is, the breakup was a split second decision and his stubborness will not allow him to make initial contact with me again.

I told him that when i'm ready to be just friends i will contact him again. it's been 2 weeks of no contact so far, and his facebook activity has suddenly increased. He's flirting with girls, leaving them similar fb wall posts that he did to me when we first got together, trying to make me jealous.

I do admit i begged for him back but then i made it clear that i was ready to move on because he obviously didn't want us to get back together. BUT he still tells me he's not "over it". he's the dumper so shouldn't he ALREADY be over it?

there is so much more i can tell you i think i'd need to write a lengthy email about this. but thank you for listening and please reply :)

Rachal 2 years ago

Hey my name's Rachal.My boyfriend had broken up with me becasue his parents were like super weird and saw that he was texting A girl and they got mad and threatened to ground him if he didn't break up with me.So of course he broke up with me but then I began cutting out communication with him.After that I started hanging out with a group of guys.I started actually not caring about the break up as much.And believe it or not he stopped talking to all other girls but me, he started calling my phone NON-STOP.He said that he "Loved me more than anyone and didn't care what his family thought anymore and said he was very sorry" I had him begging and pleading for me back after ONE DAY OF BEING BROKEN UP.Thank you soooo much.My first instinct was to beg and plead he take me back but I just ignored him and flirted with outher boys HE was the one Begging & Pleading.

Thank you so much .You iterally helped save my love life.

megan 2 years ago

hi how r u!!!! i am in very hard n complicated relationship ..

my bf was flying away for de week and my mum found out about him n stuff so i had to break up but i did not tell him the reason why.. after 4 day i had to tell him..but it was 2 late and stuff and he alraedy liked sumone else when i asked him he told me taht he wanted a shoulder to cry on and she was there..

i blame myself but i cant do anythin i tried everythin possible 2 get him back

i have been sick and i have been often having headaches

i dont now what to do and i cant get over him! and i really want him back !

please help

meghan 2 years ago

It has been 11 days since me and my boyfriend have broken up, and the bad thing is everytime i go to school i have to see him and when i do i feel like i am on the edge of a emotional break down...do you have any tips that can help?

Luanne 2 years ago

Hey essy... This is reali helpful but do you think all this could still work if u have a 3 month old baby?... It was only the other day that we had a reli big argument and he told me he's not sure if he still loves me!!... I admit that I have been very needy and insecure and jealous since my baby was born and this is when all the arguments started!... N I don't blame him for leaving as I have practically pushed him away!!... Having a baby put alot of strain on us and I suggested living apart as we've only been together 15 months but he sed if we do that we split up and ultimately we just made things even worse for ourselves!... I reli need some advice please could you help... Thankyou Lianne x

Ash 2 years ago

thanx..i guess it will work..i'll try..

Lhea 2 years ago

Hey Essy,

My bf broke up with me today & I feel really terrible. I read your article & Im planning on following the steps. Im not sure, tho if its gonna be worth it. He said that he just wanna be friends becuz he's not ready for a relationship yet. He also said that he still likes me & loves talking to me. What do I do? Im so confused.

mimi 2 years ago

My boyfriend and I just broke up 11 days ago and I am makin sure I look like the happiest girl alive. I haven't talked to him and silently reurned his belongings to him without a word. I made sure when I saw him at school events he saw me not even paying attention to him. Then 2 days ago he was the one bothering ME for no reason. I've learned the hard way that pity and harassment NEVER work. as long as you stay confident the guy will come back eventually.

nickie 2 years ago

Hey! okay so here is the deal with me, so this guy i like, and he really liked me, well he kissed me and thing were going great. One day out of no where he sent me a message on facebook and was like yeah i kinda stoped liking you. so i asked him why and he said he just lost intrest. But he told my friend that I was talking to him to much and he felt like i was stalking him. I would like to find out how to get him back before the end of the school year is over (May 28th). Okay! Thank you so much!!

Agent D 2 years ago

i loved the advice on this thing on how 2 get Ur ex-boyfriend back i haven't tried it yet butt i hope it will work!! Oh, i wish i would have read this article before i started to call him and leave funny messages butt he did laugh at them so i guess i'm not that bad eh, once again i loved the article and i hope it will work butt don't bother writing anything back Okay!! Love the Canadian Girl Agent Dezy.

Jade 2 years ago

My ex told me he didn't think we should see eachother on I was devastated and it's been 3 months and I'm still a little heart broken but these tips. We were together for almost a year, not too long but I loved him. I don't even know what went wrong because everything was so perfect. I was wrong I guess. My worry is now, that I won't get to patch things up before summer break and there are only about 5 weeks til then which is starting to scare me. I want to talk to him so bad but we don't make too much contact but he now likes my best friend..was my bestfriend. This is such a mess. I'm so confused and i never know if he's flirting or just playing games thinking I'll always be there for him thinking he can come back when he feels like it. If anyone has advice I would very much appreciate it!

annabel 2 years ago

hey essy, i could really use some advice, me and my boyfriend broke up on sunday night through not seeing eachother enough, as he is in 6th form in school and has alot of coursework to do, which made us not be able to see enough of eachother. we stopped going out and then he told me he still loved me, we have broken up and gotten back together 3 times now.. and after he told me he still loved me i said to him that he doesn't love me and that i'm getting over him and for him not to tell me he loves me while we are friends.. because i wanted to get over him. now, i don't want to get over him asi can't get him out of my head and i love him. but now he thinks that i'm getting fully over him, i don't know what to do because i'm not going to get over him and i know it. but i want him to know that he doesn't have to give up on me now because i'm not getting over me.

please can you help me with what should i do?

love from, annabel.

Cali 2 years ago

Hey Essy,

So my boyfriend and i broke up over a fight and i used the really bad tactic... (i now know yeah it doesnt work so great) so we are like semi together but more broken up... we talk and stuff... but he finds it awkward... and he does still find me attractive biologically (like you said he would) He says i have a week to show him he might still want a relationship with me... What should i do? I already broke the first rule???

 2 years ago

Yeah me and my boyfreind been going out for 9 months .I am truly in love with him .Yes i am only 16 years old but idont know .What to do .He broke up with me a week ago . and i am noticing my self begging for him back i had to look this up .And i am so happy i found this website because i am young and stubborn and dont want to listin to my freinds because they all just tell me the same thing.Leave him alone and dont talk to him.Wait for him to come running back to you .It is so hard but now that i read this i actually am going to try really hard.I really need him back .I honestly thought bout alot of things .This changed me alot thank you .

lulu 2 years ago

hey im new to this but here goes, my bf of 9 years split up with me over two weeks ago now, but last week, we bumped into each other on a night out and he wanted to talk to me, he was just basically shouting at me, saying he thought my family didnt like him etc, which isnt true, after he finished shouting i just left, he rang me about an hour later and came round, said he wanted to get back, and the rest of the night shud i say is history, but the next day he left quickly and dumped me again! saying that he isnt happy with our reltionship and that i dont giuve him enough space, i dont respect him, and i dont listen to him! since splitting weve been talking on the phone but its only for him to say hes not happy with me anymore, but we havent spoken for the last 3 days, which even for 3 days is so hard for me, since we spoke everyday for three years, i just want to ring him, what should i do? :(

Stranger 2 years ago

Dear Essy,

Does this help same sex couples too?

Also another question is...well if my situation is a total lost. You see my ex lives thirty minutes away from me....in mexico. And I met her from school, at my community college. I fell madly in love with her over time and I think she did as well. She was very romantic with me and even held me there almost for an half an hour just kissing me so she could still feel like my lips were still on hers before she went to bed that way she wasn't lonely. But ever since her mother found out about us she took all contact away from me but she ran away and went with her dad so she could contact me till school started again. When she finally came back I got paranoid and didn't treat her the same. I wondered how I should have been around her, how to act...because I didn't know if I wanted to go threw the pain of her being pulled away from me again. This however pushed her more away until one day I yelled at her that she never loved me, we got up set and after two days we got back together. She later on stated on the cpu that she loved me and missed me. Made me happy but I didn't reply and I messed up again when she came back. I was a little distant. Now she would never admit she loved me. No matter how much I tell her that I do. Now she has finally broke up with me after I broke up with her for a second time...and got cruel because I missed the old her. I know it is wrong, but I didn't even noticed until now. I want to tell her sorry for it but she doesn't even let me get closer to her anymore. I messed up badly. Yet I know in some way she missed me...for I haven't seen her for a few days, or well didn't talk to her and finally she did last night on msn but I didn't get it...yet some how I ran into her today and spoke to her. I was happy and when she first saw me she smiled. I think though that when we were separating well going to class, I ruined it by asking to hang out and then to see her some other time. She told me that if we ran into each other again sure. Most likely it wont happen since we have One week before school ends. I want to get back with her as soon as possible. I feel empty with out her...and I know she doesn't probably feel that way because she blocks out a lot of problems from her mind. Maybe if I did give her space she will miss me again and maybe more if I limit it, YET how can I ever run into her again when she is moving off to San Diego. I know I could chat with her on msn again and be nice from there...but I want her back. And I hope it's not too late. please help! And thank you! Also I know not to be that person again, if I do ever have a chance! I will probably not stop talking to her or having her talk forever, I miss what we had. So Please Help Me!!!

Caitlyn 2 years ago

Hi,

I LOVED your article. I feel like it'll really help me, but I think I messed it up too bad already. My boyfriend broke up with me after 3 weeks, 3 years ago. I love him, and haven't stopped since. I've told him I want him back various and multiple times over the 3 years, and have called him, and told him I loved him, and basically everything and more opposite of the article. Help. Please.

~Caitlyn

Ang 2 years ago

Hi Essy Awesome thoughts and rules.... Just want to know if you ideas will still work if my ex partner and I already have two stunning kids.... He comes to see the kids almost every day... How do you put the distance in, if I still want the kids to be able to see him every day.... He misses the kids but not me... I want him to miss me too....

Alexandra 2 years ago

Hi I have a question. My boyfriend of 28 months broke up with me about a week ago. We've broken up before but this time he seems really serious and it is pretty much my fault since I broke it off with him a lot and we fought a lot as well. But two days before the break up I wanted to end things and he fought super hard to fix t. But now he's given up, all he says to me is to move on and he won't even sit down to talk to me. Should I try to get him back?

Linda 2 years ago

THANK YOU!! This is an amazing article. Thank you for helping so many women. You are truly an amazing person.

Brynn 2 years ago

My boyfriend and i have been dating for almost two years, and we have been in love for a little longer. Four nights ago, he broke up with me, saying we've been fighting too much, (which isn't exactly true) and that he wants space "just for now". Of course, i started sending him a ton of texts saying baby please take me back ive changed, and he just says i dont know. What do i do!?! i NEED some advice!!!

Lucy  2 years ago

Hey can it work for a third time around me and my bf were together for 11 months we spilt up in the 3rd month but was back together within a week. now its been two weeks since the 2nd spilt can there be a third time around?

Abigael 2 years ago

Hi,

Thanks for such a good suggestions which were posted on the website. It does look like the reality of life.

But I would really like suggestion from you for mistake which I have done. May be I would have read this before I would have not commited the mistake.

In three ground rules I broke one. My girlfriend got married to another guy she despirately loves me but I did a mistake my meeting her immediately where she felt tourchered and emotionaly blackmailed and asked me to leave her forever. We both founghted on that day and it ended up in quarrel. Then after a week again I tried to call her on her new number which she didnt share with me and again we end up with lot of fighting on call. I messed up everything I need some good suggesstions from here so that I can get that feeling back in her heart. I would try my best to follow your suggestion because I found really good steps.

Thanks

break up #2 2 years ago

I loved this article. I really don't know if this will work for me because we dated a year and broke up. Immediately after the break up I was calling him and so upset. But I finally got over it and stopped calling him. Even though we never saw each other he called after a couple of months wanting to get back together. We've dated almost another year and just started fighting a lot so we broke up again. Will this work a second time if I leave him alone? Another huge problem is that he leaves an hour away so he can never see how happy I am without him. Also I bought a ticket to his play in 2 weeks. I don't know if I should go or not?

Corrine 2 years ago

Hey Essy,

I have been "together" with a guy for the past couple of months now. He is a guy with a very short attention span, and I am a girl with a busy schedule. So, we didn't really have time to "chill". One night when I told him we couldn't hang out, he went over to another girl's house and had sexual relations with her. I am heartbroken and told him to leave me alone, thinking he would beg for me back. It worked the first day. But now he's not talking to me at all. I miss him terribly, I love him with everything I have. How do I win him back?

Sindy 2 years ago

My boyfriend and I broke up three years ago. A long time, I know. He broke up with me when he realized I was treating him completely poorly. He was soooo in love with me and I took advantage of It. He broke up with me and immediately stopped talking to me. A year later, no talking. He moved away for school and we still didn't talk. He was so bitter to me and rude the odd time I did try and say hello. He met a girl and they dated for over a year. I also met aomeoen else and dated him for a year.

He has just recently broken up with his ex girlfriend and is living in town again. As I do every couple months, I can't keep him off my mind! I'm finding excises to txt him despite his lack on replies and I'm looking for ways to " run into him "

what do I do from here? It's been so long

Kristen 2 years ago

Hi i wanted to ask for some advice. My boyfriend of two and a half years just broke up with me after we had been living together for nine months. Before he got together with me, he was married but ended his marriage and started dating me. He always told me i was everything to him and was even talking about marriage a lot. He is 30 and i am 20 and in the last month he decided that he doesnt know how he feels about me. He feels like something in our relationship is missing, its not as full as it should be and he feels like he needs space and needs to find direction in life and find out who he is again because he doesnt like his job, his debt or the person he has become. In the las couple of months i have been stressed with school and yelling at him a lot, over really stupid things. Things so stupid that even when i was saying them i was regretting them. I know i hurt him and pushed him away...but he claims if he was right with himself than my attitude wouldnt be an issue. I already begged him to not do this, we talked about it alot. He knows how broken up i am, especially since we lived together but i didnt move out until a couple of weeks after he initially brought it up. The stranger thing is that he cries a lot like i do, and the week before i left it was like we were back to the way we were. SO i asked him to reconsider, and he says he needs to do this and figure out what he is feeling and if he has only been this happy with me the last week because the pressure is lifted. Im so scared to make mistakes and lose him...but we work together and he wants to remain friends with me. Do you think there is hope?? How should i handle this?

ashleyyy 2 years ago

heyy!

me and my ex boyfriend were together for 4 years and we were really serious for 2 of them and we were in love and he told me i was the one he wanted to marry. Then one day he randomly ended it because we had been "fighting to much" (which we hadnt) and so i broke a rule and i was VERY clingy i would call/text/face book message him and he bought it for awhile and we still hooked up occasionally and he would tell me he loved me still but now everything has changed and hes done and doesnt want to talk to me and ive still been clingy...do i have any chance?! please help

Kaitlin 2 years ago

I have a question. Me and my boyfriend have been together three years and this would be our third breakup. Would this tactic still work for me? We broke up this time over a stupid fight and I really love him and don't want it to end but Hess pretty prideful and stubborn so I'm worried. Do you have any extra addvice? Thanks

Sad Saggi 2 years ago

Hey Essy,

My ex and I were together for 5 years, he moved on and slept with another girl straight away. I made the mistake of staying in contact with him after he's slept with her and he has now developed feelings for her and are dating.

I can't get over this guy, he is a scorpio (apparently they don't forgive), he believed I cheated on him because I went out with male friends whilst we were dating. He was very jealous, possessive and wanted to cage me up, at the time I was young and didn't want to give up my friends, and now that I've lost him, I really want him back but he won't even consider, I made the mistake of begging him to forgive me and now he believe I cheated and won't believe otherwise. What should I do? He still wants to be friends with me, even though he's with her now. Is that a good sign? Should I stop contacting him and ignore all his calls, text and msgs?

Every time he calls, I can't help picking up, he would then be really sweet and make me feel like everything's ok before he rejects me and say we are just friends now...and we have no chance of getting back ever.

I feel so sad, I love this guy so much, we've got so many mutual friends on Facebook, seeing him close with her just break my heart every time. Please help me get him back!

Wai 2 years ago

Hi Essy,

My ex and I dated for a year and half. We are in long distance relationship. We meet once or twice every 4 months since we both are still in college. He knows me very well and he knows how to manipulate me. He obviously took me for granted since I'm the only one who would remember his birthday and any other special occasions of him. I have done so many things for him but it's not the same with him. I'm not a gold digger but I like it when my boyfriend remembers my birthday and send me some flowers at least like any other girls but he won't do that. Ever since we dated, I've got flowers from only once. About 5 days ago we had a fight. I also said the things that would hurt him. On that night, he said he'll turn off his phone, so that he won't need to deal with it anymore. I got so mad and deleted him from my Facebook. I think he got pissed and changed his relationship status to single the next day. I knew that because a friend of mine told me that she saw his relationship status is single. I asked her password and went online to see his Facebook profile. I should not have done that because it made me feel worse to see him commenting happily on that status.

Every time we had a fight, we always break up. I'm mostly the one who calls him and beg him to get back. He called me just twice but never begged me to get back. I acted normal and accepted it when he said sorry because I didn't want to put him on the spot. He's the cockiest boyfriend that I've ever had in my life. I have a feeling that he would never call me or text me anymore. I'm trying to learn from the past and try to let go of him but It's just not improving much. My question is, Shall I call him or text him first? How long should I wait for him to call? What should I say if I have to call him? I know I love him but I'm also scared to go back and being used again.

Ps. I'm an international student and I live here all by myself. I don't have any of my family members nor any relatives in the States. That's why I became so clingy. Please help me. I really need your help.

thanks

Wai

annabel 2 years ago

essy never writes back :'(

Wai 2 years ago

@annabel : may be she's been busy. I really hope she writes me back tho.

Wai 2 years ago

thanks for the reply Essy. I know it's hard for you to reply to every single one of us. :) Every time I feel like I wanna call my ex, I read this blog. It at least make me stay away from the phone. :)

Darla 2 years ago

Hi Essy,

ur advices r so cool.. and i need help here :(.. i got dumped and i am so heartbroken! i also broke the rules.. the thing is our relationship is a long distance one.. but it was great.. we had this amazing chemistry and we were both amazed at how great we were togther.. we shared everything... and last week i decided to surprise him and gave him a visit.. he was so happy to see me.. he told me if i didnt come he wouldve come to see me.. that day i was a bit cranky and sick and wasnt very intimate with him.. after 2 days.. he calls me and he dumps me.. for no reason.. i told his is it becuase i wasnt myself when we went out.. he told me not really its because he suddenly doesnt see "us" together anymore.. i lost it foolishly and started emailing him asking him what went wrong and begging him to come over to see me to talk about it.. he refused and answered me with one line.. "no its useless cuz its over".. i emailed him several times the past 2 days and i just got cold short responses.. its like he doesnt stand talking to me anymore... i dont understand why he suddenly changed.. i decided not to email him anymore.. but i already looked needy and desperate to him.. and i cant show him that i moved on if i ever did.. cuz we live in separate cities.. no common friends.. and cuz i dont have a facebook account where he can check my status on.. i want him back.. i decided not to email him again cuz he was so mean.. but can i fix the damage i've done? i really want us to be back.. my life is so empty without him.. plz help:(

Thank you,

Darla

Daniela 2 years ago

Hey,

so my bf and i broke up about 2 months ago

we said we would be friends but stopped talking

and now that some time has passed we started talking but he said he still feels the same about me but he just wants to be friends. Obviously I dont want that. I have to admit I gave into being friends and that lead to kissing and acting like a couple without the commitment. Now what do I do to get him to ask me out?

Thanks(:

Kristen 2 years ago

Hey Essy,

I e-mailed you not to long ago, but I decided to write on this thinking I might have more room to explain my situation.

My close Canadian guy friend Colin and I have known each other for over 4 years. When I was up in Calgary, he pretty much saved my life because I was in this really bad situation with my first ex boyfriend.

Our relationship is on the funky side, just because we've had some shaky ground in the past and he has weaved himself in and out of my life. Last year, we had a stupid argument over me sending him a letter to his parents along with a letter to him and he freaked out, abandoning me for over several good long months. This wasn't the first time he left my life. But the last time he came back he was extreamly appologetic and told me he never wanted to hurt me again, that he would do anything to make up his stupidity and foolishness twords me.

Our relationship has gotten somewhat closer, but I really have kept my mouth shut when it came to my feelings twords him. I let him make the moves and what not to make sure I don't scare him off again. Ever since he came down here to my home town to visit, we seemed to get really close until two nights ago.

See, the problem I see in him is that I know he has more feelings for me then he is admitting to. He sends me so many difforint sweet, warm and loving e-mails alot, so for him telling me he only "likes" me is not true. But I also know he is fearful of making any commitments because he is terrified of loosing his independence and freedom to do what ever he wants when ever he wants. *I call him a wild stalian.*

2 days ago he got on his offence when he read a message I sent him telling him I worred he didn't talk to me on Skype all the time he was signed on after sending me really loving e-mails that same day. He got flustered and told me to quite worring about him "all the time". I sent him a back a snippy e-mail and I think that just made things worse.

I dont know what to do. I act strong when I talk to him, show him a side of me that he never saw when I was up in Calgary. I don't show much weakness because I don't want to risk loosing him again. But I think he made himself slip out of my hands again.

Secretly I love him, love him to death actually. But I know full well I cant express those feelings to him with out pushing him away. And its driving me crazy and it hurts. I mean when he was here to visit I felt a happieness and warmth that I haven't felt in a long time. I was like the happiest girl in the world when I was wrapped up in his arms, or when we became intament. The cemestry is strong...its just his heart and his mind arn't matching up.

What should I do? I can't afford to loose him for the 4th ttime.

Kristen

Madisonn  2 years ago

I liked your essay, it did help me. I literally just got done reading it. But I do have a question.. Dakota (my ex boyfriend) and I broke up last night after seven months. Of course I didn't read this right a way because 1) I didn't even know it was out here and 2) Dakota and I have broken up many times before.. so I didn't think I needed it. This time, It's a different story.

Two maybe Three months ago, Dakota started like another girl, Ashton. I felt she was prettier, nicer, just better than me and all kinds of ways. I grew insecure, and uncomfortable with him talking to girls.. at first, it worked; he did indeed stop talking to girls. But, after a month or so down the road he grew impatient, and decided it was time for him to be able to talk to girls again; I needed to trust. Obviously, relationship's build on trust.. so I understood where he was coming from. Still, I had trouble. Now I do trust him, I started trusting him three maybe four days ago.. unfortunately, that wasn't enough for him, or me. Dakota and I have been fighting every other day, you can probably imagine how big of a toll that takes on a relationship. Dakota, when we were first together, was nice, understand, emotional, loving, every single thing I've been looking for in life.. but ever since I lost trust in him.. all that sensitive non since faded away. Last night, he told me he needed a break; "He needed to find out who he was again, what he wanted in life" I understand where he's coming from... but I made a mistake. I did every single thing you told us girls not to do. I told him how I felt, how upset and emotionally dead I was. I told him all these things that was completely opposite of what you said. Like I said earlier, I just got done reading this.. I was wondering, does it still work? Now I'm planning on doing everything you say, but I would like to know if it'll still work considering I did everything I wasn't suppose to do. And I would also like to know, if you, yourself, think that Dakota and my relationship can be saved.. can be normal again? I appreciate all of this, it is helping!

--Madisonn.

Meagan 2 years ago

Essy,

Thank you so much for the FANTASTIC article. It's not only the most useful thing I'v read but it's also the most uplifting.

Advice Please?

Here is my situation,

basically he said that he just wanted to be single because he was going to be with his buddies next year. He is also getting very close to a girl he used to like. He honestly means the world to me and I'm nervous as to if it's too late for him to redevelop feelings because he has told a couple of our mutual friends that he is 100% over me now.

help??

Caitlyn Lawrence 2 years ago

Essy,

My ex boyfriend got along so well, we never fought until about the 7 month mark when his very jealous ex girlfriend started making rumours about us, neither of us believed them but it always caused tension between us. We always go over the fights. Another rumour came out that I cheated on him, it's not true at all, he believed it and ended up breaking up with me because of it. It's been three months, in the first few weeks i begged him to take me back. We've hungout once since we broke up, it went really well. We don't talk that much now, but I miss him like crazy. How do I get him back?

Brittany I 2 years ago

Essy,

My ex boyfirend and i have been together for a year. we were so perfect, like we would fight than make up so fast. than around our 7 months we had sex. after that he seemed to get angry over everything just like me. and we just kept braking up and getting back together and than we both made mistakes and i love him and miss him so much. please help me on how to get him back. i miss him so so SO much...

Elina 2 years ago

Hey Essy ;))

I understand that u can't answear to all these coments...but unfortunately I don't have a computer and I use my mobile to go on the Internet...anyway besides that my story is a bit different I believe and I really DESPERATELY need atleast a little bit of help ;/ firstly I would like to say that o find this article very smart and usefull and thank you very much for writing it...but back to my story ;( I have always been very VERY sensitive and I had a few serious relationships that ended badly and left me hurt..but the last one was the worst ever...u see I'm only 16 and I lost my virginity to my ex who is also 16. We were absolutely GREAT together... We had so much fun and I felt like we were really meant to be ( he even met my parents) i felt like he was my prince charming!!!! ( I even wrote an essay in English class about him being my " real life prince charming"

lol) but after about 4 months of dating...he started acting strange...the thing is I clearly showed him that he was my one and only and that I would do anything for him..and I'm pretty sure that that made him think he has the power over me and led him to acting as if he doesn't care...( he didn't text or call and acted mean and selfish from time to time) I tried really hard to deal with this and tried ignoring the way he treated me as I didn't want to loose him. But my friends kept pushing me to dump him, and I finaly made the mistake of doing so. But the worst is yet to come ;( the same day I dumped him I texted and said I was sorry and I wanted him back... He didn't answear so I just kept on texting and calling non stop until he responded and told me he was very angry and it would be better if I left him alone for a bit...but I wouldn't stop..till one day I called and said that maybe if we wouldn't talk for a month we would miss each other and get back together...he agreed to this plan but I only waited 2 days and then called him AGAIN to let him know that I absolutely can't wait and I'm suffering without him....a week has gone by thar I've been calling, texting and doing whatever I can to get him back but every time he says he needs one month...I'm ready to use the technique u suggested for this 1 month but I'm worried that it's too late for this coz I already messed up all my chances with my desperate calls, emails and texts....;( please let me know I really just need 1 answear and I won't bother u again...I'm really suffering ;( PLEASE HELP!!!!!!

Ol2 2 years ago

Hi,

It has been a week that my boyfriend broke up with me. We been fighting for about 3 months because he barely wanted to spend time with me. When he broke up with me he said he loves me with all his heart but we dont understand each other and we have lack communication. Last night i sent him a text asking to have coffee with him and didnt respond to that, then this afternoon i called him in the office and asked to see him. he said it was not a good idea to see each other right now and again said that he loved me with all his heart. I am lost i dont know what to do please help...

JANE... FOLLOW UP! 2 years ago

This is a follow up to my post from 4 days ago....

8 days have gone by now & I never initiated one bit of communication with him (my ex who broke up with me). He sent me an email out of the blue tonight apologizing for his behavior. He says he's sorry he hurt me, he hopes we can be friends going forward, loves me, cares about me, etc etc. I realize this does not in any way mean he's trying to get back together... but it's a start. He's opened the door for some sort of SOMETHING in the future. Girls... I really do believe that if you want your man back, the only path to make it happen is to follow the groundrules in this article to a T! DO NOT contact him under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES! Chances are, more than likely, he will come around & be the one contacting you if you try to keep your emotions under complete control. Find other thoughts to fill your day. Find joy in spending time with your girlfriends... the ones who add positivity to your life.

I really don't know what will happen with he & I... but at the least, I can say that this is THE FIRST time in my life that I've had such a healthy break up... because I didn't go all crazy... I remained calm, and did what I could do to take back some element of control. If I had texted him, called him, and cried for him back like some pathetic crazy chick, he'd be out of my life runnign screaming from me & gone forever... and like I said, at the very least, the door is back open a little bit. More to come as it unfolds. Just stay positive!

Rachelle 2 years ago

hey

i really need help my boyfriend broke up with me because his parents forced him to he still loves me like crazy and i love him too but he really respects his parents and he doesn't want to break their trust he is not allowed to talk to me because his parents check his phone but he quietly calls me and messages me i really want him back and i don't know what to do need help!!

Heidi 2 years ago

I guess this is more of a question about the system rather than advice. You said it boils down to biology and psychology, but what if the reason for the breakup is that I got accepting into school and have to move to another state. He loves me, but is not sure he wants to go. All the playing hard to get in the world I'm not sure is going to change anything. :(

Kylie 2 years ago

My boyfriend of over 2 years broke up with me a little over a week ago. He did something like this in October and after about a month he wanted me back. This time I don't know if it's different or not. He says he doesn't love me anymore and can't force his feelings. He says he wants to be friends and wants to hangout, but I feel like that would be giving in to him. I can't hangout with him as just friends, that's impossible for me to do. He can't have me there for him as a friend while he tries to get with other girls. I want him to realize what a big mistake he is making losing me. After all, it is summer and we cold hang out together so much. I have been miserable the entire week and more. I feel like he wants to see what other girls are out there and put me on hold for now, but it just hurts too much thinking him with another girl. Please help me. He means the world to me and I just want things to be back the way they were. He used to love me so much, and I want that love back. Please let me know if you can help, you have no idea how much that would mean to me?

Kaadeebee 2 years ago

Hey Essy

First of all im going to go by your three rules they seem to have cleared my head a lot this afternoon :-)

Im still really confused tho in what to do.....My BF broke up with me 3 days ago and we had been together for 2 months.

When we first me, it felt so right like no one I had met before we just instantly clicked and before I knew it we was in a relationship, he would come by mine in the week and stay over and I would swing by his and we would go out partying, basically we had a really good time together.

Then all of a sudden, he said he doesnt think we should be a couple anymore. He said he didnt see where this was going and that we didnt click!! Of course we clicked its why we got toghter in the first place!! When he broke up with me tho he was crying and telling me what a lovely person I am blah blah blah!! And im confused to be honest, it was like he didnt even want to do it!!

So plan is.....leave contacting him (even though he said you can text me if you like) for a few weeks yeah? and then I thought just text him and talk to him again like we are almost back to square one, like we are dating???? Cause afterall that is what he fell for in the beginning isnt it???

Any comments would be most welcome as my poor head is all over the place at the moment :-) Thank You XxX

lost soul 2 years ago

Hey, I am so glad to find this article. I really need your advice here. I just brokeup last Sunday and yes pretty devastated and have done some of the mistakes you listed in this article. I promise myself I will stop and follow your advice. But I need something more than that...I asked my ex to go out of town with me for Memorial weekend [2 days later]. That trip was planned before breakup and I insisted him to accompany me still after breakup. I really want to use the time we together alone this weekend to win him back. Should I continue act like what you said in this article, be cool, be strong, etc or how? Should I take this vacation as "friendly type". He told me he will still hangout with me "as friend" but NOT BF/GF....I am worry I will screw up...please help me to "strategize" this weekend so I can win him back....

LaLalar 24 months ago

me and my boyfriend had a really good relation ship. of course there was fighting but we stayed together through it all. and it all felt so completely right. he is actaully the sweetest boy i have ever known and he cares about me so much. we were together for one year and he just broke up with me a few days ago. he said he was going to a lot, and he really was. he kept telling me he felt something different. and i told him i didnt want to be put through they pain, so i told him a few times to just break up with me. he told me every time that he didnt want to, that wasnt what he wanted. he wanted so badly to stay with me. but his feelings were raging all over this place becasue he has had such a hard week. he broke up with me and told me he still loved me, just not in that way. and thats very hard to beleive becasue i was his world and he told me after the berak up that he had true love for me. and i really believe it. he told me i am still his best frend and he so badly wants me to stay and have him as my best friend too. he tells me he loves me and cares about me. and thats all true too. but i dont want him as my friend i want him as my boyfriend becasue it was all so right. for both of us! i cant piece together why hes feelings changed so quickly. he told me a million times i did nothing wrong. everyone thinks that we will be together again becasue we have broken up before and we came right back together. but somtehing is a little different this time. i just feel like he is done with our relashionship. but i know that cant be true becasue we have everything in common. and he tells me so much ( still) that i really am the only one who gets him and he wouldnt ever want to lose me. he still wants to hang out alot and he still tels me he loves me and i see it is difficult for him this soon becasue he still does love me that way. i know that for a fact. and i know there is a chance we will get back together successfully becasue we really were GREAT. i just need to know how to act correctly in this time of being his best friend so that he will see how much he misses me in his arms. please tell me what i can do, we still talk regualrly but i already know i dont want to be the first one to text him. i did cry to him once but he is still here for me and he still hasnt gotten mad or walked away. he does love me, please tell me how to get my realshionship with this amazing boy back before he forgets that he does want me back as his girl.

ash 24 months ago

ok...............I don't know if i am right or wrong but still i want him back.

Met him 18 months back.hw always told me he can't maar me.sttill i loved him, gave my 101% in this relationship.he always told me that i am very compromising and cooperative which made this relationship last so long..........he never liked my childshih acts which were just meant to get his attention and nothing else...........he tells me that we are not comptaible and he is not attached to me anymore or was ever...........

I always thought that love is not everything in a relationship....and even in my case with love i agve him my care, attention,affection, time and all my feelings that i had for him.

we just broke i month back......i tried my best to get him back by talking to him............for last one month i know he was just tolerating me and my stupidity.......i know i did wrong by imposing my love on him.i can't make someone love me if i love someone................

but one thing that i know is i can keep him happy..........he might gho for another relationship after sometime..but i will be there only where he left me....still wanting and waiting for him............

i know i am not wrong ..i love him sincerely............

his parents are also a one of his worries..he knows they won't agree but still i want him in my life......

i want to give him that unconditional love taht i ahve for him.............he tells me he wants his space and he does not like me getting so much dependent on him.............i know his view point might be right............

but what should i do????????

where should i go and do to help myself and my relationship????

i never argued with him????/

i never asked him why he was talking to the other girl?????

always gave him his space..........so why the hell i am thrown out of the relationship when i was sufferung and i was doing all the compromises?

please help me.i will never be able to love someone so much because i don't want the other person who comes in my life suffer because of my past love....so i don't wnat any relationship now with anyone....i just want my guy back without hurting his feeling and letting him know that someone still cares fo him......cries for him....he is always in someone's prayer.

please help??????????/

Thank you

Best Regards

Lindsey 24 months ago

My boyfirend broke up with me 3 days ago, he said that it felt different and that we were acting like friends. I still really like him and want him back. I told him we could be friends because i do care for him and dont want to loose him. He is going off this summer for 6 weeks to study singing. We went to lunch today and talked about the breakup and we werent awkward at all. He said he wasn't sure if he still had feelings for me I suggested to him that we see how we both feel when he gets back and see about getting back together. He said okay. Am I going about getting him back the right way? I'm in highschool and have three classes with him.

smendonca 24 months ago

My boyfriend broke up with me a few days ago, but it was my fault. I never gave him space, I was very jealous, and insecure because of my old relationship. So, he told me that if I matured and wasn't like this he would come back to me and try. But I kept texting him, calling him, messaging him, and now he said were totally over. We had a great connection and we both seen a future together, but only if I changed. I have slowly changed, I got a job, I hang out with my friends and he hangs out with his, but I still text him. I want him to realize that I can be independent and that I love him and want him back in my life. I read that article and i keep reading it and I'm going to try to be strong and hopefully we get back together. But if you have any more advice please let me know. Thank you :)

Shaun 24 months ago

Look i know this website is for girls trying to win their boyfriends back. But i seriously need some help. I was going with the most attractive, the most funnyiest girl in my area. We had a minor row on Sunday night but made up again before sleep. But then yesterday we wer textn away and then suddenly she never texted back. I was trying to be thick then so I wouldn't text her until she texted me back. But in the mean time her friend who was along with her asked if i was coming into town to lift them later and i said maybe. But i had to go to the hospital then with a cousin so asked the friend did they want to come to. Anyway then my girlfriend staretd texting me back being dry and all and i was texting her back the way i normally do. Then she ended it because she said that 1st i was close to her brother and now to her friend and that she couldnt deal with it anymore but still wanted to be friends. Im 19 and she is the only girl that has ever made me feel like this. I cried last night and everything and i dont cry. She says now that she doesnt think she is ready for a relationship but only yesterday we were saying how happy we where together. What do i do.? I cant let her slip away.. It will break my heart seeing her with anybody else other than me. Please help me out essy please

Shawna 24 months ago

Essy, some advice please, I met this man online, and he is 13 years my senior, he is 34 and i am 22. we went out mutilple times, we hung out like everyday, and he said he really liked me, and stuff. But then I noticed he still checks his dating profile and is on there daily. When i ask him, he says well we are only dating, not exclusive, but i guess i didnt understadn that , that it meant you could still date other people, Is he playing games? What should I do?

Sara 24 months ago

I really need your advice.

My boyfriend and I just broke up, I broke up with him because it made me mad how he talked to other girls like he did to me, I was just really jealous. I tried to fix things that night but he didn't want to get back together, he said he didn't want to cry again but he wouldn't tell my why else he couldn't get back together with me. We had been going out a little over 9 months, I was kind of whiney the night of the break up but I can stop that, how do I get him back? He said he still wants to be friends, and he called my bestie all on the day of the breakup, and now its the morning after all of this. please help me!

Jennifer 24 months ago

Well you look like you have a million people asking questions so I hope this one isn't too much to handle!

Well, I had been with my ex for almost three years. We spent every moment together (literatly 24/7). I think the first year three hours was the longest we were apart. We lived together from day one and after a while he felt like he couldn't breath. In addition to this I had a huge dependency problem. Anyway I realized all this way before we broke up. I saw a therapist, we changed the set up of the house so he had space and still nothing worked. I think it was just too late and I didn't become independent enough. He said he needed a break and then after three weeks of no contact he said it was over because he wasn't inlove with me anymore. During this break I even left the country and went to stay with my mum, I just needed to get away (I'm a student so I could!). Once we broke up I was difficult for a day or so, then I told him I wouldn't call and that I agreed with the break up. He called the next two days freaking out that I met someone. I told him that I didn't and he relaxed. I don't know if that was a mistake or not. I had one other phone call where I freaked out but apart from that I haven't contacted him in almost two weeks (no text terrorism either). He had told me that he thought that maybe in the future we could get back together. Im so scared that I'll lose him. I'm really trying to concentrate on myself now, running all the time and sunbathing (lost lots of weight and look great)! Ill be going back soon and we have planned to meet up when I get back (since I haven't seen him since one month before the break up (two months in total)). I just want to do everything right. I can't lose him he is my best friend and my soul mate. I tried so hard and still lost him, is there any hope. There has been no cheating, abuse or anything 'bad'. I don't know why he hasn't called. Any advise would be much appreciated! Thanks so much for all your time.

Hannah 24 months ago

Hey,

im just after reading the article, I'm hoping the advice will work, thanks for it :)

Well, not long ago, my boyfriend was told I kissed his best mate and I didn't! He wasnt sure on believing me when I tould him I didnt but I have tried to convince him since. But he then told me that he doesn't feel the same about me anymore. I'm really really upset, I don't know what to do.

Help?

Kaleigh 24 months ago

ok so i have read your tips on how to get my ex back and the comments people have said but honestly i dont ever think i could get my ex back. i messed up big time. we broke up over trust issues and because he said we fought too much. but as soon as we broke up we didnt talk for about 2 weeks then i started calling him and texting him all the time telling him how sorry i am and that i miss him, but he never said anything back. then we got to the point were we wernt together but we were sleeping together. well then i found out that he had a girlfriend but she was a foriegn exchange student and was gonna be leaving in the middle of the summer. so i didnt really worry about it. so he was cheating on his girlfriend with me for about 2 weeks. well then one of his friends had told me that he cheated on me when we were together and we were together for a year and a half and we lived together for 8 months, so when i heard that i got really mad and told his girlfriend that he was cheating on her with me. so now he hates me and wont talk to me i havent talked to him in about a month. i texted him 2 weeks ago and said that i was sorry for everything when we were together and im sorry for everything now. never got a text back. but me and him have the same friends so we run into each other alot but never talk. idk what to do he is my first true love and we have been apart for 6 months now. he was my everything. i cry myself to sleep every night. what should i do?

terra  23 months ago

Hi there,

I really need some advice, as I'm still having trouble wrapping my head around the whole situation. I am 23 years old and was dating this guy for 1 year, we were great together, had the most amazing times, he was always completely happy with me, etc. He is not very emotional at all and hardly ever expresses his feelings, and from the beginning he said he didn’t give me a fair chance because he was scared, “we were both each others first real relationships”. From day one, I treated him way better then he treated me, I was always going the most amazing things for him in terms of surprises, etc, but he was never as thoughtful and considerate to me. My friends told me on many occasions I should break up with him and he wasn’t good enough for me, but it was still difficult. We did long distance for 3 months as I was out of the county, and everything was fine, but again he never put in the same amount of effort as I did. I got home 2 months ago.

About 2 weeks ago he broke up with me and said I was the most amazing girl he has ever met and he wish he could say one negative thing about me, but he just can’t, as I treated him like gold, and found it very difficult to break up with me because we didn’t actually have any problems, never fought, got along great, and always had fun. However, he said he can’t hurt me anymore, b/c he doesn’t think he can give me what I need and deserve so he must let me go because I’m to good for him, and he doesn’t deserve someone like me, and although he loves and cares about me greatly, he’s not in love with me and doesn’t think he ever will be, so he can’t hurt me any longer. It’s especially hard, because he said he never stopped being happy with him, and when I see him he lights up, he loves spending time with me. I seen him a few days ago and we spent hours talking and he just wanted to hold me in his arms and say how amazing I was etc. He said I’m the only person he can really talk to about anything, and only person who can’t make him smile all the time. When I left we hugged, he kissed me good bye, and told me during my entire stay he was so happy I was there… and I could easily see he truly was.

However, we talked that night and he said we have to stop communicating, b/c nothing has changed, he doesn’t want to be with me anymore, and he wants to move on and wants me to move on and be happy like he is, and he cares to much for me to hurt me, and I deserve so much better. He also said it’s too hard on him seeing me, because it makes him miss me and realize how amazing I was.

So I’m so confused how someone can be so happy with someone, and then feel they would be better off broken up, I’m not sure what to do. I don’t hold any negative feelings for him, and most certainly don’t bother him as I know he wants us to spend time apart for we can each move on, but I’m so confused about his actions. I hope you can offer some light on this issue, as it would be great getting an outside opinion. Not sure if I should just let him go for good like he said and move on, or hope that he will realize how much he truly did love me, (although he’s never loved anyone before), and can’t easily express his feelings, or just cut my losses and move on, as he never did treat me as good as I deserved, and he knows this, which also really bothers him.

Please help!!

Thanks you so much!!

Terra 23 months ago

p.s.

He is a really big guy’s guy and is scared of getting too attached and getting hurt, although he can't easily say this, he is. I think maybe he is to immature to know what he truly wants, as he is only 23, and surrounds him self with very immature people who just love to party and have a good time, although he is really smart as an engineer. I feel he doesn’t truly no what he wants, as I know I made him exceptionally happy, and his friends even said he made a mistake breaking up with me, although my friends we’re relieved.

Thanks again for the help.

kimmy♥ 23 months ago

me and my boyfriend broke up and i want him back, but hes starting to fall for some one else what should i do?

Anna 23 months ago

hello i was wondering on what to do with my problem.... my ex of a year and half broke up with me about a year ago but since then we still have contact everyday and we have sex every week but yet he says we wont be together in the future but i feel like he does love me because he calls me every day when we fight he stays mad at me but calls me back in couple days or couple hours and then things go back to normal but i just want to be his gf again and not hide our relationship from people =/

salad123 23 months ago

hello. my bf broke up with me a week and a half ago out of the blue and i cried loads infront of him which was really uncool but to make my self look less lame i didnt contact him and "happened" to bump into him at a gathering with friends a week later. i was really normal and friendly with him and he was talkative back aswell and he text me the same night saying it was good to see me and we were texting for a while today then i said i was busy, talk later. does this mean what im doing is working?

amanda 23 months ago

My ex, also my son's father left us and almost immediatly got married. we'll be seeing eachother soon and i really want him back will all this still work even though he married this female?

Hula 23 months ago

my boyfriend and i broke up about 2 months ago. i really want him back. i realize how much i miss him now that i don't have him. it was a mutual breakup we both knew things weren't going how we wanted.

our first step was to take a break. i didn't know what i was doing and three days into our break i was showing how upset i was and being needy and emotional. he never took me back and i know now that i made a mistake.

Im still not over him and i really don't know what to do. When ever i do see him its like i can't breathe. He puts me through so much and he doesn't know how much i still love him.

The only thing is, while i was trying to get over him i started hookingup with other guys. this really made him mad and now he resents me.

i dont know how to fix this or if i screwed up.

Georgie 23 months ago

wow this helped alot, thankyou so much. my boyfriend just stopped talking to me, which is weird and random and very painful. i started to chase him at first, but now that i read this i know what too do. thanks again! :)

Veronica 23 months ago

Morning Essy!

Well you have certainly created a fool proof plan! Well I can honestly say I really don’t look on websites for “how to do” things that involve personal issues; however desperate times call for desperate measures.

I’m eighteen so I’m a bit younger than your average “Donna” but I’ve been off and on best friends with Jack for two, almost three years. We were together officially for one year, and after that we didn’t talk but later fixed everything. I’m just afraid that I might have been doing all the wrong things you’ve spoke about. I was just wondering is it too late to do something spontaneous and give space? I would really like your honest opinion, and it would help to be as blunt as possible so I get the picture.

By the way, we both spilled our guts about our feelings for each other recently, (knowing he has a girlfriend) and he made me promise to never ever leave his life again (like when we were off and on friends). To me his feelings right now are ambiguous: he said he “loves” me yet there is no real progress. Oh Essy I’m at a stand still.

Much appreciation,

Veronica

Kelly smith 23 months ago

Hi, I have unfortunatly already made the mistake of begging my ex, who broke up with me 6 days ago as he said he needs space an no longer wants to be in a relationship... We hadn't argued or grown apart so it came as a real shock. I desperatly love him an want him back. So, day one, as he told me by telephone I went to his place to talk sone sense into him, it didn't work so I cried in front of him, so hard it hurt, this still didn't work. Day two, I spoke to him early on just to let him know I had some money I owed him for my phone bill, then I went out with the girls, got very drunk an had a good time. Day three, I called him again (idiot I know) he brought my things back to me, I was looking nice and didn't cry this time. Day four, an I have again spoke to him a few times about stupid things like, seeing his family etc... Desperate attepts to make contact on my part.... He has changed, he seems heartless. And is sure that this is permanent... We have recently been on holiday and was planning another... We were together one year, one great year. I need him back!

melody ;-) 23 months ago

wow, so many responses. i like your article. its freaking awesome. its so common sense, but when your upset about not being wif someone, you don't think of the obvious answer. being happy with your own life, becoming strong and beautiful without being with anyone is a huge turn on-for guys and for girls too.

id like to say to everyone who is having problems, just be yourself, don't be needy or whiny, but also be there for your man if they truly need it--let them know youl always be there for them if they need anything, incase something dreadful actually happens, but then look out for yourself, enjoy your own life. have your own life. if your suffering a loss of chemistry or whatever, after a bit of space etc, itll come back if its meant to be.

and for the poeple who like people who have cheated on them or if even if they havent, like guys who are assholes who dont appreciate them..... why bother?? bleurgh. find someone better!

im in a situation where me and my boyf broke up... the spark hhas kinda gone but the physical chemistry is still definitely there. were still friends tho, so i didnt see a reason to have any space.

ur article totally helped me! im gonna revitalise myself and my life

cheers xox

melody ;-) 23 months ago

yo, essy. hope yur having a fab day. :-)

i can imagine u dont have time to give 1 on one advice. must take ages. u probably get soooo0000 many emails. do u know how far up this page is when u google 'how to get ex back" or whatever? its one of the first results, hence probably why so many ppl see this page.

but the advice u have already given i am sure has helped heaps of ppl, and will still do so

i have checked out some of yur links, and their pretty mint

best wishes, love melody (19 yr old from all the way over in NZ) :-)

to everyone else... break ups may seem the end of the world, but u can get thru it. just remember to look after yourself, and that you do NOT need a man to be truly happy....u need to learn to love yourself first. but lonlieness does suck. hang out with your girlfriends, concentrate on your work or study, get a new hobby if u dont have one already... and your life should fall back into place.

Fay  23 months ago

hi :)

iv just finished reading your article and i really hope it helps me out.

Some of the things im unsure of though...

I was my exes 1st serious girlfriend, he was 16 but very mature for his age and im 18. Iv been in a few serious relationships beforehand and i have well and truly fallen for him. Before he broke up with me he wudnt speak to me, look at me, touch me...nothing. Then i went round to his a couple days later do drop off his stuff, i took him into the living room as we were with friends and i just wanted to talk to him alone. I started crying...even though i shouldnt have and he said it wasnt me but he "wasnt ready for a relationship like this". By "this" i assume he means "serious".

The thing is with him, he can be so hard to read sometimes...he likes to keep himself to himself, he is good at hiding his feelings...he is pretty solid and its just killing me inside. He said he still wants to be friends and i asked him the other day if there was a chance we will get back together because i dont want to waste my time if there is absolutely no chance, he said he "needed time to think about things". So iv taken that as a pretty positive, but im not getting my hopes up!

Anyways...any feedback would be great :/ i would appreciate it.

Audrey 23 months ago

I need some help. I'm 18 years old, and my boyfriend and I just broke up yesterday. Today would be our one year anniversary. We have been having a lot of problems over the last few months, where we argue about everything. I've tried a lot to make it stop, but he thinks there's no point. He tells me on a regular basis that he'll never leave me, but yesterday, we got in a stupid argument, and he said he was done. He thinks we argue far too much, and quite frankly, I do too. He thinks that we will be happier apart, but I disagree. When I asked him if this was forever, he replied "I told you it wasn't", but later he changed it to an "I don't know". I asked if there would be another girl, and all he said was "I'm so sorry". It's only been one day since this has happened, but I'm already seeing other girls crawling all over him, and last night, he told me he has plans to move with one of his female friends, within the next two weeks. If he moves, I will no longer have any contact with him. I need to fix this before that happens, but I don't know how to go about doing it. It's tearing me up inside. I don't want to beg, and I dont really want to talk to him, because we're just so distant now, and it makes me very upset and irrational. What am I supposed to do?

gabriela 23 months ago

hey Essy,

my ex and i broke up a year ago and we remained friends. It was hard and there were some awkward moments, but I still have strong feelings for him. I made all the mistakes that you said NOT to do. oh how i wish i read your article before-hand -_-;

anyways, i've dated other guys, but none make me feel the way he makes me feel.

he's dating another girl right now, and I am a boyfriend stealer so I'm not going to do anything, but I know she' going away for school mid-summer. I really want to get back together with him, but if i don't make contact then he won't pursue.

We work together so that is when we talk and are able to see one another.

I asked after we broke up to get back together, but he didn't want to. i know I should move on and give up, but i cannot seem to do so, and i have really tried to give him up.

what can i do to (slowly) get back into his life and perhaps have a chance of going out again???

linda 23 months ago

I need some damage control. My boyfriend (of five years) and I broke up about 2 months ago. Then we got back together for a few weeks and then broke up for a final time one month ago. Since this time, I have been extremely needy and clingy...although I knew I shouldn't. I wish I'd read this article months ago!!

Anyway, the last time we spoke was about a week ago, I begged for him back and he basically told me he doesn't care any more. I'm not sure if he was being honest, or if he was doing it to get me to back off. My question is, is there still hope? I'm holding on like crazy because I truly think there is hope for us if he comes around. I haven't contacted him whatsoever in the past week. What is my next move? Wait it out, or should I just try and move on?

Ness 23 months ago

Hi Essy.

I am in need of some advice. My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half and it is very confusing...let me explain.

He is going through a divorce and has three kids. The reasoning for the divorce is because the WIFE/MOTHER started abusing drugs and was cheating on him. After about three months of us being in a relationship he went back to his wife and was with her for not even a week when he came back to me. We stayed together from that point on for about another nine months at this point he and the children moved in with me I was taking care of the children full time while he was working. The wife/mothers boyfriend had been arrested and she decided she wanted him back he did go back but I honestly believe it was ONLY for those children I believe he would have held it against himself if there would have been a chance for their mother to be in their lives sober again...needless to say that didnt last. They were together four months when he found out she had bailed the boyfriend out of jail with the money she had been stealing from him. He did come back to be a few weeks after leaving her with tears in his eyes we talked for hours and I decided I was going to give it another shot. He is now dealing with the divorce and ready to turn this page in his life for us to have a fresh start but dont think its over yetttt...he just all of the sudden stopped talking to me and two days went bye with no communication when he finally called and said he thought we needed to bump the brakes and that he loved me and wanted to be a family buthe needed to get done with the whole divorce and everthing first...my thing is is that I have been here all along(maybe thats the problem)? I have always accepted him with open arms and I think he thinks I will always be here so he can do whatever he pleases. I cant keep doing this to myself. Can you give me advice on how to snap him out of this and just stop this whole on and off again deal...

ps he and I when we are together have an amazing relationship that what confused me most I guess.

Thanks

Kay1991 23 months ago

Hi Essy,

I'm loving your advice and it's made me feel very proud of myself that nearly every point (excluding the expert advice) I had done myself out of instinct and I'm glad that it is the right thing I was doing...

Anyway enough of rambling I need a bit of help..

Me and my bf broke up once before for no more than a month and he came back to me.. and this is the second time it's been nearly 4 months now.. he had tried contacting me a few weeks after the break and I had told him it's too soon for us to talk or be friends.. I desperately wanted to be back with him but he seemed to make it so clear then that it wasn't on the cards and we shouldn't speak...

Me being the proud soul I am told him that after a few weeks why should I speak to him when he made it so devastatingly clear that he didn't want to talk to me back then.

So we didn't talk untilll..... About a month and a half ago. He made the first contact, just silly stuff like "hi how are you, hope your ok" i replied in a vague manner.. practically the same..

And since he has been texting me everyday.. I mean I have been replying so it's not all him.. but what does this mean?

I'm still entirely in love with him and do want him back, but i'm not about to ask again as I'm scared that after him coming back once he would be too proud (being male) to do it for the second time?

What should I do.. I'm stuck!!

Thanks Kay xxxx

(Oh and also, we're going to the same university this year and I can't bear to think of him with anyone else... let alone see it!.. thought that would be important info!).

Brandi 23 months ago

Hey.

I have read this article so many times since my bf of 3 years broke up with me a little over a month ago. It has taken a toll on me. I did all the wrong things at first, texted him, called, emailed, and imed him. Now its been 5 days since I have made any contact with him. In the meantime, I dont know where to go from here. The story is pretty long, I was wondering if I could get some advice, maybe through email?

mel 23 months ago

You helped save my relationship. Thank you.

Christina 23 months ago

My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me over the phone. He was my best friend and he would talk about his future with me and how much he loved me and that he "never felt this way about anyone". The last 10 months of the relationship we had to do it long distance because we both graduated college. I thought things were fine. We visited eachtother once a month and we talked about being patient for the next step to move near eachother because he still needed to find a job. 6 days after I visited him and we spent our 3 year anniversary in nyc he called me to tell me he wanted a break. he felt tied down. he didn't think it was going to work. he didn't feel the same way anymore. and he also said I was too jealous and couldn't change (i didn't understand this at all because maybe in the last 6 months we talked 2 times about jealousy and it was never a yelling fight???) I was in shock because of the way he treated me when i visited ...cute things he did like slow dancing with me on the subway while we were waiting and stopping me in the middle of a bridge so he could get a picture of me...to break up with me 6 days later? just things that are little but you wouldn't do if you didn't love someone or planned on breaking up with them? I was devestated. I showed it. It's been 3 weeks and I've left him 2 voicemails, about 6 texts and 2 letters. I haven't contacted him in 5 days because of this advice and other advice like this. Because we are a long distance relationship (6.5 hours) will this still work? I feel like it's easier for him to just forget about me being so far away. Did I already ruin it with all my contact after the break up? And I've been posting love quotes and lyrics on my fb status and twitter account. Should I stop? Please help and thank you. I care about him more than anything and I wish he could see that and find that love he once had for me again.

TZepeda 23 months ago

Hey Essy,

so i have read through your article and let me just say i think it is amazing advice its sort of common sence but no one ever realizes its what they have to do until they hear it from a 3rd party. but i do have a very unique situation and im nto sure if you can help me with it..ok here it goes

so i have been married for the past year and i have a beautiful daughter with my husband. we have been seperated on and off the whole year but the longest breakup is the current one which has been for 2 months. he basically gave me the whole its not you its me speech via txt. he says he doesnt know whether or not he loves me anymore but i kinda sence that he does. we obviously talk on occasion becuase of our daughter but nothing outside of that. Do you think any of your advice can apply to my situation or would u say i should just move on???

PLEASE HELP!!!

Lisa 23 months ago

Hi so I'm 18 weeks pregnant and split with the baby's partner a few days ago or should i say he split with me. One day you couldn't see a happier couple and the next he starts an arguement and ignores me completely for 4 days before telling me he wants to be on his own he doesnt want us anymore i dont understand how he's gone from wanting to be with me all the time to this. I'm of course heartbroken facing raising our chuld alone i already have a 5yr old from a previous relationship where the father disappeared. So far he's text me at least twice a day sometimes just to moan and once regarding the baby. Ive not text him back so far suprising with how emotional i am at the moment but i cant ignore his texts for long as i have a scan in 2 weeks. I just want him back so we can work through this but i dont know how to go about it. Would these steps work for me?

Jazzy P 23 months ago

hey

I was going out with this boy called sam for 7 or 8 months and I broke up with him because I was really depressed and took it all out on him and I really wish I hadn't of done after I felt so much pain after I had done it. I mean he was my everything we loved each other to bits we was always around each others everyday, But a couple of weeks later I went out with another boy called Jake It really didn't feel right because I missed Sam to much and soon as I dumped Jake but he wasn't upset about it. Its now been like 2 months and 4 weeks and I'm still not over Sam and I don't really know what to do with my self it felt right but I dunno what got over me that night I've done everything wrong I read your information and it really upset me because I was like its over I've done everything wrong I've told him that I missed him and my feelings and basically all I got back well I don't love you any more and we had a argument a couple of days ago. I'm starting to think shall I get over him or shall I just wait for him even though it might take long ??

perla 23 months ago

well hey this is me again.....i really need help..i love this guy so very much

i was with him for a year mand it was the most beautiful year of my life.....we spend all last summer together and he turn to be not just my bf but my best friend too. we had so much in commun and just love each other very much.....but like every other relationship.. we did had our arguments about him flirting and hanging out with girls without me knowing... is not that i didnt trust him it was just hard because when we were 2 months together he sleept with someother girl and it really hurt me...but he called me crying telling me he was sorry so i gived him a second chance....

well now after a year we were having problems because he would get in trouble with his parents and he would get so mad at everyone including me....on my birthday he went to jail....he txt me at 4:30am telling me he needed me more than ever. so i went to see him at his house first thing in morning.....he cried...told me how much he loved me and that he was sorry for me having a 18 birthday like this...that same night i got in a fight with my parents and i went to my ex house walking and when i got there he was in this white car with some girl...next day he told me she was just a friend and that he didnt care about her cuz i was all for him he promised he would stop talking to her. two days later she was inhis house again...and i went and tell him why and he said that he needed her as his friend.....

next day i went to his house and he told me to go away cuz he didnt want me there and his parents either...and that he didnt want to see me by then....the reason was that he got some calls and he tought it was me.....obiusly it got me really sad......so i told him i was done with hhim teating me so bad like if i was nothing when he knew how much i love him...he was my first... i mean so imagine how much i love this guy to give him my body

i was always there for him when he needed me....i was his only friend when he didnt have anyone.....so now its been a month since we broke up...and now he is with her,,,,:( it kills me....i dont talk to him.... we dont have no contact,,,,, s o idk if theres anychance to get him back.....well he is alredy haveing problems with her and hes been asking my friends about me lately......but still wut iff i just cant anymore...........PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME!!!

Jessica 23 months ago

Hayy Essy(: wow i think ima do wat you (very long) article said!! I kno you wont answer this and im just waisting my time but i have time ta wwaste. My ex boyfriend went out with me for two days then broke up with me for his ex girlfriend. Then he broke up with her again and went back out with me....then he broke up aith me...again....his friend texted me one day and told me that he said its over forreal. (But i know its not over "forreal" cuz thats what he said the first time we broke up) and i asked him why and wat i did and he said everything. to tell the truth i didnt do anything at all. He was my first kiss too so he was really special to me:(: i never cheated on him, i never lied to him wether we were together or not, i never looked at another guy like ooo hes hot! i always told myself..no way i have my man!!;) i wish i read this 3 days ago when he broke up with me cuz i tried calling him... :// he just got his minutes on his cell bak so were texting now not as much tho and hes acting like nothing ever even happened. he tokld me bye and i was super sad but then he apparently couldnt resist but ta txt me again cuz he started txting me...again. but im afraid that if he brwaks up with his girlfriend, and im there waiting for him that ill be with him and hell just use me again. But i love him so much i just cant let him go!! :( i dunno wat ta do D:

sweets 23 months ago

I love your story about Donna and David, mainly because it is exactly what I am going through right now. My boyfriend and I were together for just over 3 years and he broke up with me because he didnt know how he felt about me and the relationship anymore. I want to improve myself and maybe even take dance lessons like Donna, but my question is......you said you made sure David heard about the lessons. how did you make sure he heard about it? after cutting off all contact with the ex, how can i make sure he hears about something like that??

Hingers 23 months ago

Hey I was wondering If I could get some advice, I could use it despratly.

So I sort of was with this guy for like a year but we remained friends because he kept going back to school and he never really called official but when he was away at school he would always call me and talk like for three hours a night or day. We met at my work but nobody at work knows that we were even together because we kept it low key and thought people would make fun of us because not only he is 23 but im 19. We just click together a lot and we just connect like no other. We were both adopted and that just was a sign.

But I just found out he was dating this girl who I was not a fan of after he quite working where I work. Like we both left things unsaid when we " stoped hanging out" whatever you call it. But when ever he was at work he always gave me this look like he still had feelings he even told me at one point he still had those feelings. Shortly after he got a second job he distanced himself from me and stoped talking to me and I have tried to communicate and stay close by. But made a terrible mistake by making out one night with his friend "E" and thought that it would piss him off and make him jelous because I found out that he bought coke from E and ever since then I wasnt happy so i rubbed into Ex that I was not cool with him lying to me because he told me he thought drugs were over rate and he didnt do them. Now because of the girl he was dating I hear from an employee that I currently work with that the Ex drives around sometimes says hes not going Airizona for chef school that he has always dreamed about going to. This makes me upset but the point is he broke up with this girl or the girl broke up with him im not really sure. But ive been trying to

talk to him to get him back cus Im still in love with him but hes not talking to me bc im pretty sure hes still mad about the "E" thing and I dont know what to do. I want him back as a boyfriend and a friend

kitty 23 months ago

Hey Essy,

Remember me? Well, just wanted to give you an update. He and I broke up again in January, we just weren't ready to get back together again. It didn't feel right. Now we are seeing each other again, and I don't worry anymore. I don't call him constantly and I go out with my friends and that seems to get his attention. He calls me now, and he plans out dates for us. He texts me everyday and we even planned a trip to the Dominican Republic in August. Finally I'm truly happy and I know things are heading in the right direction. Even though we are not "officially" back together yet, we agreed we are working on our relationship and working to make things better before we jump into the relationship again. I'm just sooo happy now! Once again, thanks! And if other girls read this, all I can say is be patient, veeerrrrry verrry patient! Things will get better, I promise!!! I know what you are going through! (scroll up and look!) lol

-kitty

Jenny 23 months ago

Hey Essy,

so here's my situation. We broke up last week becasue he has met another girl like 2 weeks ago.. he thinks that im too serious with life and not as fun as the other girl. it sucks becasue ive been away from him for 2 months and im still going to be away for another month. he is still hesitating about if he wants me back. we had a big fight after the breakup then a few days ago he messaged me and said he had made a stupid mistake and the most part of him just wanted to run back to me but at the same time he still wanted to get to know the other girl better. i felt somewhat satisfied because i thought he regreted leaving me but after that ive become the one that message him a lot and what makes me nervous is the other girl going over to his place sometimes and having fun with him. my boyfriend just keeps saying he's not sure. but im pretty sure he needs me. what should i do now? i know i cant message him anymore, im going back up in like a month so ill see him eventually. oh he also said he wanted me and scared to lose me. but why he is still hesitating? Please give me some advice! im pretty much heart broken now.. :(

Joanna  23 months ago

Before reading anything about having a chance of getting your ex back, I freaked when he broke up with me and txted him a few times. Never anything obsessive, mostly just questions to ask what went wrong for I was at loss and got a limited explanation, that from my perspective was wrong.

He never listened to me and my side of the situation either.

Before I had txted him some things, he said that we would never be in a relationship again.

Is this something to take notice of?

He said that he isn't ready for a relationship, is that an opportunity to think that even though he said we would never be together again, to perhaps try and become friends again and then attempt the things you have written on this site?

I had asked him to be friends already, so I suppose limiting contact has failed at this stage, and if he does want to be friends, would it be best to not act very 'friend' like? Keep my distance?

He is a guy that I never thought of losing, and no matter what my friends say, I don't want to lose him completely.

I'd really appreciate some advice on my situation.

I'm really just afraid that he truelly doesn't care, and I have pushed him away even more.

Katie89 23 months ago

This advice does help. I'm in the same situation, except I broke up with him, wanted him back and now he needs time because he was really upset that I even broke up with him. All I need to do is give him time I guess and follow these rules

Nikki 23 months ago

Ok I loved reading your advice but I need more!!! Heres my story me and my ex broke up 3 weeks ago. Over silly things, we lived together and just started fighting alot. Since then we both have admitted and figured out what went wrong and we both have agreed if we dated again that it would work...At first I was begging him to come back but since then I have stopped and now he is the one texting and calling me. I love him and I want to be with him we hung out the other day and he was really touchy feely and said that we should be friends for awhile and see where things go.. I said NO! he said we should hang out one day a week for 3 months..i feel like hes stringin me along. I told him I love him as a boyfriend and that I cant go backwards and that if Im in his life its going to be as his girlfriend and if thats not going to happen I will have no contact with him...he just said fine then.. I guess this isnt going to work but he also said he could see my point of view. was that the wrong thing to say...it hasnt been a day yet but I havent heard from him...but he usually cant go 24 hours without texting or calling..I just dont know what to do..should I lay low and not contact him????

Winnie 23 months ago

Hi..

My boyfren broke up with with me 2 weeks ago,

he told me that he wasn't ready and said that it was better to be frens. But i still lov him alot.

What must i do to get him back?

heartbroken.

Courtney 23 months ago

Hi, how do I get my confidence up? Me and my ex are extremly jeolous people and my worst fear is that he will move on to someone else. We only get to see each other about once a week so im thinking he broke up with me so he could actually be with a girl. We have been together for two years and this is extremly hard and its killing me. please help.

Alex 23 months ago

Hey!

i lost my ex about a yesr ago. We were best friends before we got together. we told each other everything. But he thought i started liking his friend so we broke up, but after that when we became friends again we started liking each other and we ruined it. Now he changed alot. He hangs out with other people. they are changing him. I hate them all and i don't want him to hang out with them but with me. I don't know what to say or do. I am just afraid if he will get angry and walk away. by the way his temper has increased . please tell me what to say/do!

brokengirl 23 months ago

hey, i read your article and it's really changed the way i'm looking at this break up.

me and my boyfriend were only together for 9 months but it was a very intense love and we had an amazing time, he recently broke up with me becuase he's too insecure to deal with the fact most of my friends are boys, he fears it will get worse wen i start uni next year and he said he needs his space. of course i am heartbroken and was wondering if you had any specific advice for my situation?

xxx

Claire G 23 months ago

You my friend, are a lifesaver.

My boyfriend and I broke up after dating for 6 months and after a long, hard week of moping around I went to the internet for advice. That's when I came across your article. I did everything exactly as you said. I took up hip hop lessons, started to get more involved with things around my community, and even got a job ! Just like you said, I began recieving more and more messages from him. I made him work for a few weeks and then we were right back together. He told me he feels closer this time and that I have a whole new personality. I really did change so much. I've began taking control of my life. We've been back together now for 2 months and everything's going better than ever.

Tina 23 months ago

Hello Essy,

I could have used your article a few days ago! My boyfriend and I broke up on Tuesday on the way to work in what should have been a simple discussion that turned into a fight. This was the worst of our fights and I decided to give him his space and not contact him for a few days. However, I have broken your cardinal rules of contact and have reached out to him in an apologetic manner in hopes of creating a response. This morning we finalized the exchange of stuff and he still has yet to give me any reason for the break up. All he could mutter was that he did not trust me anymore (no was no cheating involved in the fight). I cannot think of what I've done to lose his trust. I know he loves me and has been stressed out and preoccupied with studying for a graduate school test and seems to not be able to balance a relationship right now. Do you think I still have a chance of reconciliation if I just give him his space and do not contact him?

Timothy 23 months ago

Hey essy, quick question, how do you feel about gay relationships, me and my partner were together five years and im really hurt, just asking before i explane more, im 24 hes 33.

Jessica 23 months ago

Hi essy,

My bf and i broke up the day before his bday. :(

..he told me that he love me but he still has feelings with this girl whom he have courted before..:(

we have been in our relationship for four years...i'm his first gf and he was my first bf...he told me that he needed space to think things through...

so that he can realize what he have in his life...

it hurts like hell...i can't help but think that he just used me...

...earlier, i texted him (my instincts gave me courage to do that) and told him the pain that i have been going through right now. I even asked him how he can sleep well at night, wherein fact i can't sleep at all because of the pain

...reading your article made me think how stupid I was...can i still do the things that you had written on your article?

..please do reply...i really need this....

..i wish i had read your article before i had sent my message... :(

i 23 months ago

Hello your article was great! my situation is that i broke up with my boyfriend because he was two busy all the time we hadn't talked or seen each other in over two weeks which was especially weird because he was crazy about me and always needed to be in contact and i didn't mind the constant texting because i liked him. anyways i texed him one day saying that i was confused by how he had been acting the past two weeks and he said that he was confused too and felt like he was to busy to talk or hang out and that it wasn't fair to me through the whole conversation i felt like he wanted me to break up he would say things like the decision is yours and its all up to you on what you want and i will be busy the rest of the summer. i got sick of his attitude and broke it off right after i hung up the phone i received a text saying 'we are still friends' and i just said that idk if that would work out. later that night i was sitting on facebook and he messaged me saying i really do still want to be friends i never responded and then he liked my status that was about the fourth of july. i still really want to be with him because before those two weird weeks he was soooo sweet to me and he would say things that made me feel amazing about myself. do you think after all that i can get him back? and do you think he was trying to get me to break up with him?

Brittanie 22 months ago

Okay, so I need some help! My ex boyfriend broke up with me two days ago on our 7 month anniversary. This was both our first real relationship so it is completely breaking my heart. His reasoning was that he didnt know if he was made out for relationships and that he needed some time to think about it. You were completely right tho. All I've wanted to do is call or text him. :( It makes me so upset when I dont hear from him. I will try your rules and what not...but is there anything else I can do? We are both going to different colleges in the fall...so I'm worried if i dont get him back now...i never will... Please help!!!

Tomm Lee 22 months ago

wouldd this work on a gay relationship..??

Minnnielover 22 months ago

What does it mean when your boyfriend breaks up with you and he says its becuase he doesnt want an long distance relationship when we only live 15 mintues away?

mytiger22 22 months ago

not quite sure what to do in my situation. in some ways i feel like i was a puppet being strung along in a little game of his. but then i think about the passion in his eyes, the poems, notes on the car etc, and how in such a short period of time it felt as if we were both falling for each other. but the kicker in my situation is that i'm going through a divorce, and he knew this when we first started seeing each other. i'm 25 and hes a little younger, so i dunno if its that he just isn't ready for a serious relationship, or if hes scared of falling in love because of the pain hes felt in the past. we were seeing each other for a couple months and all of a sudden he says he needs time, i backed off and gave him his space, and then he said he just cant do it right now. he has alot going on in his life and his friends are makin him feel like crap for dating a married woman, even though i'm going through a divorce. now i'm pretty sure he is seeing someone else. and he is known for jumping from relationship to relationship fairly quickly. i'm just so confused and don't know what to do or what all of this means.

Gemma 22 months ago

Me and my boyfriend broke up 3 weeks ago, and i dont know if i ruined it because i did call and text lots the first few days, but then i just gave up, but we have absolutely no contact now, but i know hes the one for me, and i know he felt the same about me, the break up was so sudden and silly really, i miss him so much, i hope i can still get him back??

perla 22 months ago

hi Essy! :) this is me again haha...well i kind of have good news if i can call them that....well today my sister and my mother were grocery shopping and they told me that they saw my ex`s mom and since my mother just had a baby girl well she took the chance to show her to my ex`s mom...well my sister talked to her and she told me that she ask her how i was doing...and my sister said that i was doing fine,,,then my ex`s mom told my sis that she misses me and that she doesnt like the girl,,,,:). that kind of gives me hopes that he misses me too...i see him every weekend at the dances...and i try to look my best and just dont think about him and have fun..i dance with a lot of mu guy friends and often i catch him staring at me....looking sad and jeaulous....i also see him at church and even my mom tells me that he doesnt take his eyes off me the entired ceremony...and even when his with his new girlfriend he does that....u think they still chances???........I HAVENT EVER THANK U FOR ALL THIS....IT REALLY HELPS A LOT...ESSY GOD BLESS U..:) THANKS SO MUCH

ren 22 months ago

my BF broke up wit me 2days ago and all i can think about is imaging him wit another girl. i had a gut feeling that something was goin to happen that day and i ignore it. on the day that he broke up wit me we argue goin to the movie and he turned back and said to me he wasn't goin i went back to his house and we argued more he came upstairs to his bed and i told him to sleep in his cousin room he went in there and i realize i miss him i text him and went into his cousin room we argue a bit then he come to bed and we didn't speak that night the next morning he said to me i shouldn't come c him anymore and he deleted me AS his friend on facebook. i spent an hour pleain and cryin there until i left wen i got home i kept calling and texting him asking him to speak to me he didn't replied. he replied back sunday night to say that it was over for good and he told his family about it and there is no goin back. i cried every night goin to bed until my mom said to me if i continue to stress about him am gona look desperate but wat am i suppose to do i am desperate. he said he doesn't want to b in this relationship because of my behaviour and attitude towards him wat should i do we've been together for three and a hlf years.

emgirl29 22 months ago

Hi Essy! Your page is awesome! i already knew most of your "rules" to begin with and im pretty good about following them. I've been going out with my 19 year old boyfriend for just over a year. He cheated on me early in the relationship while he was on senior week. I had never been cheated on before, but i forgave him because i thought he was something special. However BIG trust issues arose from this. We both lack trust in each other. And we are both very jealous...especially me. We have broken up 2 times over trust issues but they only lasted for a short time. Recently though, we have been arguing alot. he picks fights and blows up every little thing. he also puts me down alot and things from the past always come up. we have not broken up yet but he told me if i dont stop accusing him of stuff he's done because he cant keep going on like this..and i cant either. i want to know what i should do to save our relationship..i know what to do if we DO break up..but i need to know how to keep that from happening!!!

Daisy 22 months ago

Hi, my ex just broke up with me because he is confused and thinks he mite not love me "like that". a couple weeks ago he took some distance to reflect on things i guess. i didnt know what he was doing and alot of other bad things were happening so i cut myself. he came back to me for a day, told me how lucky he was to have me and how much he loved me and was so sweet. then next day he was gone again. he repeated this 3 time all together. the last time he did it we ended up breaking up. the day he broke up with me i had his friend take all his stuff back to his house, text his familys cell saying i was drunk and having a panic attack and destroyed the bear he gave me. then the next day i sent him a letter telling him how much i love him and accept all his mistakes and miss him.

then i just left him alone..but i think i came off really crazy!! i want him back so bad, and im not really that crazy i just overeacted..is there a way i can change that image of me?

bani 22 months ago

hey i read ur article its really goood

buh i was seeking a piece of advice from u, wht do i do if my boyfriend left me for another girl

Rebecca 22 months ago

Hey I was going out with a guy for a while..

And well now we are seperated.

I broke all of the rules (hadn't read the article yet). I begged ALOT.

Is there still a chance of us being together?

Should I just like wait a week to text him again? Or move on...

I really don't want to =(

Angel 22 months ago

i brought both Get Him Back Forever & The Magic of Making Up. Read both of them multiple times..

the question is, the common thing in both said it might not be a bad thing for my ex-boyfriend to be dating a new girl...

but in my situation, his new girlfriend is the one he cheated on me with and she is someone who's been in his life longer than i have been. they've known each other at least 5years.

my ex and i only dated 7 months and we were in a long distance relationship (but we do see each other at least a week every month or so)

i feel i cannot compete to win him back since they probably have a stronger bond

i was prepared to move to his country too.

Dori 22 months ago

So me and my boyfriend broke up last night...

We work together and I'm pretty nervous... He told me last night that he wanted to see me before he left, and I was pretty excited for that cause he never ever made plans with me. Then I got home and tried to make plans with him, and he kept giving excuses, and I knew something was up. So I told him I was sad cause we never hang out anymore. So he was like "that's what I wanted to talk to you about on saturday" so I started freaking out. Then eventually he told me he says we don't hang out enough, so he sees us as just friends.

I'm really hurt and destroyed. We're still going to talk on Saturday and I'm hoping for the best. But I don't know...

Another thing about the situation is I always tried to make plans.. And he always had plans... And we were completely fine the day before.. He wasn't acting weird..

But I did notice that his good friend broke up with his girlfriend too, and when he said it, he didn't seem too happy about the decision, like he didn't want to.

But I guess I'll find out on Saturday.

Fiona  22 months ago

Should I stay friends with him if he asks me to? Or should I apply the "no contact" rule (absence make the heart grow fonder)?

Sylvia 22 months ago

Essy, I (had) a fiance. We are both in our 20's. I'm 24, he is 23. We have been together for about 2 years. He proposed to me last December, and we recently moved into an apartment together (with both of our names on the lease). We have been planning our wedding for next summer, and have deposits down. I even bought a dress!

I have recently started to have some health issues, and some psychological issues. I have a history of depression. I had a breakdown a few months ago, and he stood by my side through it. He even went to therapy with me once. Things have been getting better, and I've been on medication for it. We still fight once in a while, but nothing serious, just silly stuff. A few weeks ago he told me that he just wants to be friends, and the wedding is off. He said he "wanted space" and wanted to just be himself. The wedding isn't for a year, so I don't see how this could be cold feet already.

But he was still living with me!

He stayed at his mom's for a week, and he spent the night here last night. I feel like he is playing with my emotions and he doesn't even realize it.

I did everything wrong already, despite the fact that I am a psychology major. I don't know what to do now.

I can't afford this apartment myself; not to mention I am still deeply in love with him. He absolutely REFUSED couples therapy. I know we both had fears of turning out like our parents (both of are parents are divorced and remarried), but I didn't see that happening to us. We always seem to work things out.

I don't know what to do at this point. Please help.

jpc 22 months ago

hey. i read your article and it didnt exactly fit my situation. i broke up with my boyfriend because i hadnt seen him in about a month because he was buisy. we had been going out for alittle more than 5 months. i did the wrong thing and texted him alot trying to be friends again the way we were befor we dated but he didnt want to talk to me. our mutual friend told me that my ex was so upset that he may never have feelings for me again. it has been exactly five months since the break up and i still feel emty and upset about it. we used to be really great friends before we went out and even during we were very close. but since i broke up with him he doesnt spend time with our group of friends anymore and barly talks to them, so its difficult to ask if he wants to go to dinner or movies with the crew the way it used to be. i want to get him back so badly. everything i see reminds me of him and i dont know if its possible to fix the mistake i made. do you have any suggestions of how i could get him back, if it is possible?

Gin 22 months ago

Hi Essy,

Wow, I've been reading most of these comments...no wonder you were so busy! I wish that you could have time to respond to every single girl's problem and help her with detail still, I can see that you were a huge help to many girls! I also am currently experiencing an extremely painful break up. I wish you could help me one-on-one but I understand that you do not do that anymore, I'm about a year too late :( Is there any way that I can email you possibly? I really need someone to help me.

I think what you've done for all these girls is amazing. I really wish that I could have the chance to receive the same amazing advice. I don't think there is any other site that does this, and it has really helped many women. I truly admire you for that.

Thank you

Ann 22 months ago

Hi Essy,

I only wished I had read your article before I tried to fix things on my own. My ex boyfriend and I dated for almost 6 years. We had our ups and downs but were always in love with each other. Its been a few months since we broke-up and I'm having a very hard time with it. I knew we had some issues that needed to be fixed but he never wanted to try hard enough so that the issue wasn't an issue anymore. We spoke by e-mail and text messaging during the past few months and even have spent some time together. The time we have spent together has been so great that he gets scared I believe and pulls away again.He is very unsure what he wants in life and its hard for me because we had talked about getting married and about our future together. Every time that we had talked after we broke up he always told me how much he loved me and how much he cared but he just didn't know what to do. Finally, I told him that if he doesn't know what he wants then I'm not wasting anymore time because after 2 months apart and still e-mailing him and text messaging never really gave him that space. Now that he has space he's doing everything he likes and i'm happy for him but its just so hard to watch. I have not spoken to him in a few weeks and he hasn't tried to call or text. Its so hard not to write him and tell him how I feel. But I've been staying strong. Do you think the relationship has any hope? Do you think he will realize before its too late? I just don't know what to do...Any advice will help! what is the T.W. letter someone said in another comment? Thank you!

Shannon Morgan 22 months ago

this actually worked i didnt talk to him and i started playing tennis and hanging out with my friends and 5 days after we broke up he told me he wanted me back! Thanks so much

Alexia 22 months ago

Hey,Essy! i am so impressed with all the knowledge u have bout the relationships, and u r so young! really good psychologist!!

I wanted to ask u an advice as well. I am separated and have daughter,to start off. Me and my husband had an ongoing problems, so I left to America to study(he is from Europe) for a semester, so we could figure things out! in US I met this great guy that I didnt fall in love with at the first glance or anything< but really liked him.He was super nice and very very caring.At the same time my husband figured out that I am thinking to completely leave him and have a new bf(thanx FB). So, he kept beggin me to come back to him, that we have a daughter, he sworn in love and that it will be different and so on.. I decided to give him another chance and went back to him, leaving this new guy all broken-hearted. When I left I missed him, at first not too much cuz I was busy trying to reunite my family. Family didnt get reunited, and we had exactly the same problems as before( My husband, he still is my husband is a good person, maybe even a great guy, but i never loved him, maybe only as my baby's daddy and a best friend, he doesnt even attract me as man) . So we never worked it out, cuz i started missing the american guy more and more!So, I decided to leave my husband and come back to US, now with my daughter(previously she was visiting my parents for a semester).As an exchange student plus with a toddler in my arms I ve been kinda strugglin and needy(my ex doesnt help me out at all, not even financially). So, when I came back I was really ready to fall in the arms of an american guy cuz i really felt that I wanted to be with him. But, I guess he is scared that I might leave again and hurt him more, so he has been kind of distant. PLUS, pbbly my having so many problems and being single mom also scares him or something. so he is really acting so much different, just like its another person!!I am very upset, and I really want him back because I remember how happy we were and how much he loved me and I throw it all away for the guy(my husband)that let me down so many times and will never change.

So, now he is cold, doesnt often text me, always busy, once we meet he is kinda okay, we still tried to have fun, but i feel he is different. I really really miss him and I think Im deeply in love, but he just very brief and calm. makes me super sick!

I know many of u might judge me, But when I had my baby I was a teenager , never realizing the outcomes,i made my mistakes,and I am very happy with my girls, she is my angel!! And I still wanna find my true love, and my ex is definitely not the right person for me( i feel sorry for him though)so my question is what can I do to get the american guy back!! I need him so much!! But also i dont wanna be annoying or stalking him (which i did kinda).. and another detail, once I got back we had sex and it was super bad cuz i was really not prepared and so as he, it was our first time. could it possibly make him feel different about me?

what to do? plz help!!

BTW sorry for my broken english!! I m not native english speaker:)

Thanks,

telisha 22 months ago

I have to tell you I love your page!!! I read through everyones messages... yep I was bored.. lol

anyway, I was seeing this guy for a bit and we wanted to take our relationship to the next level, at the time I just got out of a relationship, so I was kinda scared to get back into one... so nevertheless... I had my gard up and as soon as he said that i started pushing away. well things ended between me and that guy a few months later i saw his number in my phone and desided to text him see how thing were going, he came over that same night we had coffee, and so on... we got really close really fast our relationship was moving faster then i could really think about.. and then I asked him the question... whats going on between us.. well that bit me in the butt. he told me that he doesn't know if i am the one he wants to settle down with.. and that he just doesn't know because of what happend before and me pushing him away.. I relised this time away i really have feelings for this guy and I can accually see him in my future. He's as well said that he's totally attracted to me, loves hanging out with me, thinks im georgous inside and out, and that we have GREAT chemistry... I just don't know how to get him back, how to make him see I made a big mistake and i want to try this again.. any idea????

Meagann 22 months ago

Okk well I was going out with this guy Abel for about 5months. Well about a week ago he broke up with me just becuz he wanted me too find someone better. And last night I told my friend Sam too ask him about me and he was saying that he liked me a little bit but he doesnt love me :/ But he does still care about me. I told her too ask him if he thought we would ever get back together some day and he said ''Proboly....not..idk'' She also asked him who texts who first and he said I also do and thats a lie becuz yesterday morning he texted me and i got his text when i got up. Then i texted him at like 2 and we didnt text that long becuz he didnt text back. Then when i was talking to my friend Sam he texted me. And he didnt text me back after a while. So Sam asked him if we were still texting and he said ''No'' and she askdd him ''Why not?'' And he said ''Cause I dont feel like it''. I dont knoo what to do anymore im not gonna text him,im going to let him text me im in karate so that will help. But i dont knoo if it will work for sure. Kan you pleaseeee right back so i can knoo what else to do

-Meagann

Meagann 22 months ago

Okk well I was going out with this guy Abel for about 5months. Well about a week ago he broke up with me just becuz he wanted me too find someone better. And last night I told my friend Sam too ask him about me and he was saying that he liked me a little bit but he doesnt love me :/ But he does still care about me. I told her too ask him if he thought we would ever get back together some day and he said ''Proboly....not..idk'' She also asked him who texts who first and he said I also do and thats a lie becuz yesterday morning he texted me and i got his text when i got up. Then i texted him at like 2 and we didnt text that long becuz he didnt text back. Then when i was talking to my friend Sam he texted me. And he didnt text me back after a while. So Sam asked him if we were still texting and he said ''No'' and she askdd him ''Why not?'' And he said ''Cause I dont feel like it''. I dont knoo what to do anymore im not gonna text him,im going to let him text me im in karate so that will help. But i dont knoo if it will work for sure. Kan you pleaseeee right back so i can knoo what else to do

-Meagann

Rebekah 22 months ago

SUCCESS!!

I read this page the day after my boyfriend broke up with me over two months ago. I was totally devastated, couldn't eat, crying nonstop, etc.

I was tempted to text him all the time, or just drive over to his house, etc. I really really wanted to. Several times I wrote an emotional email trying to convince him to get back together with me...but I never sent it! It was so hard not to reach out to him.

Instead I practiced no contact and tried to look like I was moving forward, confident and healthy. When my ex finally saw me, he realized what a strong and happy girl he'd passed up. Now we're back together and doing great!

Thank you so much, Essy! Without your advice I would have crumbled and done everything wrong.

destinee 22 months ago

my boyfriend broke up with me because he said he didnt want to date anyone over the summer. later, i found out he had found another girlfriend. i am crushed. what do i do?! please help!

Katsut1978 22 months ago

Hi Essy!

I love your advice! I was wondering if you could help me on my breakup and help me figure out what I can do to get a connection going with my Ex again.

We lived together for three years and were engaged for about a year of that. We got along most of the time, had great sexual chemistry and had quite a few things in common. However, we had differing values when it came to hard work and finances. He also had two kids from a previous relationship (who I adore) and He had to battle with his Ex through most of our relationship. After awhile, this all caused a strain on "US." But, I was still very much in love with him.

In November, he lost another job and suddenly told me he was leaving (w/6 mos left on our lease)and moving 45 min away to live with his mother. I was devastated (I never went through such a traumatic breakup before) and couldn't stop crying for months. He left all his stuff at our apartment, sent me money for rent and we even had a brief reconcilliation in February. But, then he was suddenly "dating" someone else and that killed me even more!!

I have sent a couple emails to the girl he was dating to warn her that he lies and uses people (he even cheated on me, I later found out). I also spoke on the phone with his ex (the mom to his kids) and emailed, texted and called him ALOT through the whole breakup process as I was still hurting and stuck in OUR home until the lease ended, surrounded with memories. Plus, he kept playing games with me that kept me hanging on. He now refuses to talk to me and says he's scared that if we talk again I will "undo the self esteem he's managed to get back." (??????)He says he's given up on me.

Bottomline is that He has not acted at all like the man I fell in love with in the last 7 months and I know deep down, that guy is still there. As much damage as he's done, I feel like he is lost and confused himself. I still love him and am scared I've lost him forever. He isn't dating anyone right now, but still "talking" to the girl he dated this spring. I have stopped all contact with him now for the last month and am about to send him the last few things I have of his. I want us to be at least friendly and communicating again at this point. I feel like I may have ruined my chances by not giving him his space right after we broke up and contacting people in his life. Where do I go from here?

Willa  22 months ago

so me and my boyfriend of 3 years on and off broke up a few months ago, and of course i still love him alot. he still loves me and he makes it clear. he still kisses me and tells me he misses me and that he loves me, but he doesent want to get back together, like after he tells me he loves me, 10 minutes later he will tell me to get away from him and let the past go, which confuses me. i dont understand and all i want is one more chance to love with no limits, he was the voice of reason in my life and i love him more than anything, i just want to get back together, but i dont know how to. he means the world to me, and before him i was a mess, suicidal, and self destructive. he came into my life and taught me how to love, and how to live. i communicate with him regularly, and w see each other alot, all my friends are his friends and all his friends are my friends, so we are around each other alot. i feel like i ruined everything between us, and i dont know what to do, please help me.

April 22 months ago

I was dating a married man and we had an unbelievable connection. His wife found out and he dumped me last July. On Sept 28th he called me to tell me how great his life was and that he was happy. I was heartbroken. Two days later he send me a text that simply said "you are now in my head again". A day later his wife called me that she knew we had talked. I completely put him out of my head after that because I really thought he was using me to get his wife jealous. I felt like that was the final straw. I went on with my life. On Nov 9, he called me again this time crying about how much he loved me, he missed me and he needed me in his life. He begged me to take him back and that we would be great. He also told me he couldnt make a move at home because the holidays were coming and he has 3 girls. We met a few times but we never had sex. He said he couldnt cheat on her again and that he would have had to have moved on before we could have any sort of sexual relationship again. He did stick to his word. In May 2010 his mother passed away suddenly. He became distant and wouldnt take my calls to him to console him. Ten days later he called me, and he told me that he made a pact with his mother before she passed that he would keep his family together. His mother was miserable her whole life with his father and he had told me this many times that they should have divorced. Now his mother who was miserable was asking him to stay in a miserable situation in his own life. I asked him is he ever wanted to hear from me again, after a long pause, he said No. That was May 20th 2010. Today is July 30 and I still have not heard from him again. 70 days and counting. I have not tried to contact him at all. Will I hear back from him ? Will he be able to keep his pact with his mother when he is so miserable with his wife? or has he tried to fix his marriage that he says He never loved her from the beginning...

Alexa 22 months ago

hey

me and my boyfriend broke up about a week ago and it was my fault for the break up as i wasnt romantic enough. we still talk and im currently seeing a doctor for depression and he said he would come with me on tuesday to support me. when i told him that im seeing a doctor and ive been given meds and i need a counsillor he held me tight and kissed my forehead. later when we was saying goodbye as i had to leave he let me kiss him on the lips quickly. i dont know if that kiss was just so i could kiss him or he wanted to kiss me too? im slightly confused to if he has feelings for me because i want to ask him for another chance to become a better person and i know he does know im being serious but i dont know if he would accept it and frankly im confused.

pretty filipina.. 22 months ago

hey!! essy,.

this page of you really helps..

my boyfriend, did alot of things to talk to me.. when i started to ignore him,, he acts wierd but obiously, he is totalyb jelous.. :)

he found out that i joined a dating site right after we broke up.. then he kept messaging me askin me if i found a new one.. but i kept trying to get rid of tht topic...

and he kept messagin me saying he wont tlk to me anymore...but i kept trying not to reply on it... ofcourse i am afraid that he will really do that. but he didnt lol... he still kept messaging me every morning.. then i watched that youtube.. and did the advice... i sent him a short message saying i am agree with the break up.. and we can still be friends... then he wrote back.. asking me if i still love him.. because he said he still do... then i message back saying i wanna talk but i kinda busy,. with my dance class and i am looking for a job...

and he kept messaging me.. everyday.. for 2 weeks.. and he kept sending me a relatrionship request on my facebook.. when i upload some new photos of me.. smiling.. and of course a lot of comments comes up.. and most of them re from the boys ho is trying to be wioth me..

then he called last night, saying he wants me back..

:D

now were together again.. but this time.. it is not just a one wat relationship.. but a two9 way..

:D.. i

ella  22 months ago

thank you

sonia` 22 months ago

i want to get back my boyfriend back, i really love him alot n reason of our broke up is i was not able to pick his call as my mother was admitted in hospital but now what i do i cant live without him pls do help me.

Caitlyn 22 months ago

Hey, I found this article to be an interesting read, however because every situation feels different, it's still difficult to be sure what to do.

my boyfriend broke up with me a month ago, and I miss him like crazy. We didn't date for very long, but it felt completely different to how it felt with other guys I've dated.

I've broken every single rule, so I'm worried I've killed my chances. I've texted and harrassed, I've drunk dialed and cried on his voicemail. I've told him how scared I am and how badly I want him back. I've come into work early (we work at the same place, but usually we have different shifts), just to look at him, and he's probably thinking I'm a stalker. I wanted to have a chat about why he ended it, and he finally agreed, but my temper got the best of me, and I whacked the poor guy over the head. I've sent so many messages to apologize he doesn't even believe me anymore

He's blocked me on facebook, and msn and no longer answers my texts/

Is it really hopeless or is there another chance if I play my cards right?

akdjfa 22 months ago

This article was really interesting and I found it really helpful. Before this I was breaking all the rules but now I am going to be strong. My boyfriend of a year and a half & I were really in love but he felt that I was too immature for him which I admit that I can be but since the break up about 4 months ago i've been working on it. Its hard not to talk to him everyday and he says he still loves me but he just needs time to figure out what he wants. I'm going to follow all these rules and see how it goes. :)

Tara311 22 months ago

hi Essy,

me and my boyfriend broke up and it has been 3 months now and i want him back. He wanted to be friends but I said no because well I can't do it. But over the course of time he started talking to me again and then offered to talk picked me up took me over his house and then after all that he said he wanted to be friends. I was like seriously no I don't want to be your friend. Then I told him off and then he accused me of hooking up with someone while we were broken up and I did no such thing he told me one of my friends told him. I asked my friend and she said no I never said anything like that she only told him that I didn't do anything with anyone and when any guys flirt with me i tell them to leave me alone. Then i found out from my friend that he had told him he hooked up with someone so i said something and he denied it my friend wouldn't lie to me. I don't know if he said that because he thought I did or what. We got into a huge fight the other night and were fb chatting each other back and forth. The next day I sent him I did absolutely nothing with anyone don't believe what you hear because it isn't true whatever you heard from that person is trying to sabotage our relationship. So figure it out on your own because I've done nothing and did nothing. I love you that's it and if you can't believe me then it's not worth it to me anymore I'll move on. I'm sorry for people getting involved it's none of their business and they shouldn't say anything I love you more than anything and I hope you think about what I'm saying and what we had and if you want that back and hopefully you'll think it through and I'll see you. He said listen Tara I'm sorry about the things I said but you said some pretty mean things as well and i said I'm sorry too babe I love you and I want us to work out. He hasn't said anything since.

pianogirl 22 months ago

Hello!

First off I just want to say that I'm so grateful that you posted this because it reassured me that I was doing the right thing for ignoring my emotions. :) okay, so my dilemma is that I was talking to this boy for almost three months and recently he said that his feelings for me changed and that he just saw me as a good friend. I assured him that I understood ( and I do! I had the same feelings at one point early on, but got over them and realized how much I like him) but I was devistated. Ive never felt that sad or lost before and I really, really miss him and feel like we are still meant to be together. I've even admitted to myself that I may be in love with him (a scary first for me), but I feel like its my fault that we aren't together anymore. He asked me out one day and I agreed, but I had a bad feeling about it and was apprehensive. (I think that's the word) This was the time when I wasn't sure how i felt about him and I was almost convinced that he was going to stand me up. So i canceled at the last minute so he couldn't. Well, we talked on the phone that night and he called me out on my lie and he was so kind about it and so understanding that I immediately fell for him and admitted to it; and I thought that everything was fine. We kept talkimg ad everything was normal, but when he was telling me how we should be just friends he mentioned me backing out of the date and now all I want to do is for him to give me a second chance, but I'm worried that im too late and that I dont have a right to a second chance with him. :( please, if you read this and you could help me, that would be so great that I cant even think of words to describe it! Thank you for your time, I really needed someone to listen. :)

shaquilla rawlings 21 months ago

im going to do this you are great thanks for the help

Kyli 21 months ago

Okay, I really need help with this. This is sort of a different situation, but I need some advice. Me and my boyfriend, Charlie, dated for almost 5 months, every single day, he would tell me how beautiful I am and how he would always love me, and how he would do anything for me because he loves me more then anybody in the world. He told me he would give his life for me, and he was THE BEST and I really truly love him and miss him with all my heart. Well it got to a point where we barely ever saw each other, so I dumped him. But after, I realized that it was a huge mistake and I tried to explain how much I love him and how I regret dumping him, but he doesn't believe that I'm actually truly sorry, and I just want him back. I've never felt this way with other guys then I did with him. How do I let him know?? I don't harrass him, but I have called him once and he told me that he couldn't talk for like 3 weeks because he is practicing football :/ Then he told his best friend, who is also MY best friend that he only likes me as a friend. Is he just saying this to make himself feel better, or does he really not love me anymore? Please respond this is URGENT!!

Nikki 21 months ago

Hi Essie!

I just read your article and I'd really appreciate some advice.

My boyfriend broke up with me for the same reasons that your friend Donna's did. But the thing is, I called him up five days after and we agreed to try to reconnect. We went out once and he has been texting me everyday. I recently asked him how he was feeling about us and he says he still needs to sort out his feelings and he's trying to have no expectations. What should I do? Should I stop replying to his texts?

Jane M  21 months ago

Hey Essy,

My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday night on my stepdads birthday and 8 days before my birthday ( great birthday gift huh?)Anyways when we were talking on the phone and thats when he decided to break up with me. I was in shock. I mean i was totally confused. Did i cheat on him: NO Did i flirt with other guys: NO and i was just thinking the way he would but in my mind i didnt do anything wrong. He said over the phone: 'its not you, its me', he also said ' he couldnt do it anymore'. And he also said sorry to me about 10 times,maybe more. But i'm not stupid the line 'its not you it me' is kinda the oldest line in the book. I'm 14 years old and we've dated for 8 months. This was my first real break up. And you don't know how much it hurt. I feel rejected, upset, confused and alot more. And my parents keep telling me for highschool theres gonna be tons of guys. But in my mind i don't know what i did wrong in the relatsionship.... and i don't want to make the same mistake in another relatsionships again. This is my first year of highschool same with my ex i have a few reasons why he might have dumped me: maybe he wanted to be single again for highschool? Maybe his friends told him to dump me? Maybe he felt like he was being smothered by me and since we've been going out for so long. And another tthing: he said he really wants to be friends... right now i want to be more then friends though..and its hard cause i've been told not to talk to him and advoid him but i really miss him. And actually i was planning to hang out with him on my birthday but i guess thats not going to happen. Well things happen for a reason and i can't really change his mind. So if you can respond thats great! THanks Essy!!

MM. 21 months ago

Hi Essy!

i'm from belgium and i looooooove this article! thank you very much x

sema 21 months ago

Hi Essy,

I broke up with my fiancee after a two and a half years.It was a long distant relationship but started straining due to insecurities of him thinking I was seeing somelse.

At first I committed all crimes but when I got the T.W methoud and kept the no contact rule he stated contacting me and saying how much he is suffering without me. At the time he was on holiday and was going to meet a girl he had met online. He now says he made the biggest mistake of his life and wants us back together because he cannot move on without me. He has requested 10 day holiday just to come meet me. He is always apologising for what he did.

I dont know what to do when he comes. He wants we go ahead with plans to get married. But with all this he still mentions that he is strugglling to move on and everytime he tries no contact rule he breaks it.I asked why he is getting back with me and trying to move on at the same time. He said he is a confused man but knows he loves me very much. He also says he knows I will never forgive him for meeting another lady. What should I do? Please help.

clare 21 months ago

ok mt fella has left after 22 years because i accidentally caught pregnant and he dont want the baby alothough he says he still loves me he comes round , weve has sex a few times and then hes one of 2 things texes me all day or just blanks me out ireally dont know where i stand i want him back and hevent pressured him if he dont tex me i just dont tex him however its makin me feel so bad im 17 weeks pregnant and really dont need this horrid feeling of rejection all the time please help x

Jenny 21 months ago

Hi,

Please give me advise. I have always been so attracted to this man (lets call him Mr Man.) He made it obvious he was also attracted to me, but he is very well known, rich and has his pick of women. Anyway, he did call me once, at night for me to come over, but I told him I dont roll like that and if we had to meet, it should be proper for a drink or a meal. He never called me after that.

I left things like that, but I was still attracted to him and we would always hug and greet each other when we met in public, but I would feel so miserable seeing him with other women.

Anyway, just recently, we bumped into each other at one of the bars and I was with a guy friend of mine. So anyway I went over to say hi Mr Man and he started asking me who the other guy is and that he wants me. He also showed me that he still has my number from when I gave it him 4 years back and we agreed he would call me which he did the next day. We finally made a date and he invited me for lunch and then I went to visit him at his place once, where we hit if off but no sex. After that visit, he invited me again to his place but stood me up because I was late to come. I took that as disrespect and told him to loose my number, but after a week, he sent me a text asking that we should try again. I responded very nonchantly asking how he was doing and didnt say anything about his proposal. He did not try to contact me after that. After a week though, I decided to give it a try and initiated contact, but insisted that this time around he had to come and visit me at my place. He did but was moaning about how far my place was and that he he preferred me coming to visit him at his place, etc, etc. So after he left that evening, i decided to leave him alone. Then he sent me a text later that week and I told him that it seemed he didnt seem so interested in me and that I didnt want to waste my precious time on people who didnt like or respect me. He never responded to that. But then just a week ago I was having dinner with a male colleague and though I spotted him at the same restaurant, I pretended not to notice him and he actually walked up very close to our table and stood for some moments just staring at us and then walked off without saying hi. I sent him a message saying hi the next morning but he never replied. I really like him. What should I do???

Isa  21 months ago

Dear Essy :)

My ex and I were only dating for about 2 weeks but we had been talking for about a month. When I was with him it felt so right. He was always kissing on me, hugging me, ect.. Up until this pass Sunday I had been staying the night with him since Wednesday, but Sunday night he did something that I don't really agree with so I told him I was just going home. He walked me to my car, gave me a hug and kiss, and that was it. That night, all day Monday, and up until yesterday around 4 he hadn't called or texted me.. So I called him to see what was wrong. He didn't answer, but he texted me about 30 minutes later and said this: "Look I was gonna call you today and I feel really bad about doing this over text but I think we're better off as friends." I asked him Why.. He said that he just didn't feel himself around me and he asked me not to be mad. He also said that he really liked me but he just wanted to be friends? I don't even know what that means? Lol.

While I was staying with him I asked him 3 different times if he was sure he wanted to be together and the first 2 times he would ask me if I was sure? Which seemed wierd. But the last time he said he did. I'm really confused on why he wouldn't just say something then or Sunday night before I left.

I read your article above and he said if it felt right then it most likely was right.. and it did feel so right. I really need your help and advice! :(

Can't wait to hear from you, Isa!

Shelly 21 months ago

Dear Essy,

My boyfriend and i broke up because he felt "tied down" in a relationship and wanted to live life. I was devestated when he did this, and he did this over a text message. We broke up about maybe a month ago and i have tried my best not to come in contact with him. I have talked to him a few times and I guess that wasnt helping any. And i guess when his friends harrassed me online i dont think it helped my self-esteem either. I dont know why i want him back but i know that i still really like him and im not sure whether to hate him for leaving me for someone more, well, not pretty but...yeah uhm nevermind. I just hate that i cant hate him. Im not even sure that your wonderful rules of wisdom will help me ):.

I really want him back, he made me so happy. But when i try to think of us together again, i just think about how ugly he makes me feel.

Please help me!!

BellaxBrooklynn 21 months ago

Hello, Thank you soo much for all of the invice, it really helped! I just love my Ex boyfriend soo much and its soo hard to see him with another girl. But I am trying my best to be strong and dont keep in contact with him...Do you think that it is okeyy if i try to text him and not call him? But the thing is that whenever i call or text him he never repies and it gets really annowing!! So thanks again for all the invice! Please keep on writing more things about our relationships...I will probally be going on this website everyday!! Thanks!:)

Tanya 21 months ago

I am going through a break up now and I am trying to win him back ur advise is helpful and I will take it I have been calling him too much and seeming needy well not anymore Im going to just take a breather and let him get his space and miss me !

cgracek 21 months ago

well i did everything you've recommended and sure enough my ex boyfriend started calling me again, sometimes "just to talk", and sometimes to see how i've been. we've hung out a few times and he even said that he misses me, thinks im the one, and that he loves me still. but the thing is, idk if he's just trying to hook up with me or not.. how can i tell? we have hooked up a few times even tho he has a girlfriend but he told me he didnt care about her. we were together for a year and were extremely close so i don't doubt that he still loves me.. but how can i be sure that hes not just using me as a bootycall?

Breeanon 21 months ago

Hey, my story is a bit different and complicated. okay i'm only sixteen, although my relationship is serious, i do know that I'm still young. we started dating seven months ago, on the second day that our relationship began i stupidly cheated on him at a party that i went to. excuses aside, what i did was wrong an heartless. i didn't tell him after it happened because i was scared, a few months down the track we actually fell in love with each other. which was unexpected, but we really love eachother now. i still havent told my boyfriend about the cheating when our relationship first happened im just so scared. i keep making up excuses in my head like, it doesnt matter because you could pretty much class it as not in out relationship. i dont know what to do. do you think he would break up with me if i told him? would he take me back? what do i do? please help me :(

Suzi 21 months ago

Heyy, help mee!

My Ex boyfriend dumped me, and i did all the sobbing down the phone to him etc! but then he told me we would never ever get back together, this was a while ago now..

I rang him the other day and asked if he wanted to go for coffee just as friends, and he said yes.. we met up and we were in the park, and he was flirting with me, like mad, and then we ended up kissing... this was all on his part, teh only reason i didnt deny him was because i still love him..

thing is does this mean anything? i dont want to ask him bluntly incase i scare him away, i just dont want to end up getting hurt again..

please help me im really confused!

xxxx

Annie Rose 21 months ago

Two years ago i met the person of my dreams! He is the son of my dad’s work friend and thats how we met. He lives about 2 hours away so after the first time we met we texted loads and were constantly on msn to each other. After about a month he told me he loved me and wanted to be with me and would always love me and no one else. i admited my feelings towards him as well. We never went out but carried on speaking for another month. Eventually we stopped speakign as often, i’m still not sure why. I met up with him and his family again last year, my feelings for him came rushing back and we went camping together, it was the best two days i’d had in my life! We were together the whole time. We spoke again on msn for awhile but it wasnt the same as before it was just friendly. I met up again with him and his family this year, once going to go climbing which was fun but he was moody the whole time though we still talked alot and had a laugh. I met up again with him and his family a few days, we slept over at his house. We were together all night laughing and messing about. My friend came with me and she said he obvs really fancies me but i dont think he does i just wish he did. I’m planning on going camping with him in a week or so. I really enjoy being with him and wish he felt the same way. Every time i see him it brings back my feelings and i have to force myself to ignore them. I dont know what to do. Help please?

Toronto 21 months ago

I wonder if these general rules will work for me? Together almost 3 years and I feel like he's got a lot of insecurities he's gotta work through. Clearly he can't get through them with me in the picture. He's broken up with me twice, both times the reason being that he feels like I deserve more. And that he feels pressured to be a better man. It doesn't matter how many times I've told him that he's an awesome boyfriend. It's like in general he doesn't feel like he's the man I want him to be.

Is it too late to try and put these guidelines in place? It's been just over 2 weeks since we broke up.

Jen 21 months ago

Im losing my mind, my husband and i have known each other for 20 yrs and have been married for the last 5 yrs. A year ago I fell pregnant and also found out by chance that he was seeing someone, over the space of my pregnancy they were on and off. Then once I had our baby it was clear that she was going to marry another, my husband was heartbroken. Later it transpired that she didnt get married. My husband then told me the whole truth that infact they had an affair years before when my husband and i where just seeing each other as girlfriend and boyfriend. The affair was short and lasted 3 months in that time she got pregnant and never told my husband about the pregnancy when she broke it off with him. Apparently they were head over heels back then but she broke it off because of parental pressures and religion. She re-entered his life again after 7 years just before my pregnancy with the view to wanting to introduce her son to his father. Now my husband wants to marry her officially and divorce me but keep things going with me to for the sake of our child. This is too much as i feel that i have lost the love of my life and if he does not marry this woman he fears that she will marry someone else and he will never see his son again and will lose the love of his life. I have implemented a plan that i will immigrate out of his life with our child regardless of his actions, he doesnt want me to leave but has no choice because he has fallen head over heels again for this same girl and doesn't feel that i can complete his life as well as she can and i never did. All though he doesnt want me to leave his life so that he can still be there for the support and upbringing of our child. Lastly my husband confessed that for many years he was having sex with prostitutes behind my back whenever he felt the need and this has all stopped now that this girl has reappeared in his life. What a mess? Am i doing the right thing? Should i not sign the divorce papers, should i expose him to his family and to her and her family? Would anyone ever believe me as this is so far fetched? Plese advise?

michelle 21 months ago

i hope that helps me out with my problems

Kari 21 months ago

Hey Listen I just had my heart broken by this guy love bad. I mean it took him an hour to break up with me!! Okay so my ex plays guitar and I've always wanted to learn how to play and I started learning because my marching band director plays and was teaching me. I was talking to my ex one day when we were hanging out and he asked what was new in my life and I said "nothing" Was it a good thing that I didn't tell him about that? I mean I don't want him thinking that I learned because i missed him which wasn't the reason. Also, for the "other things to focus on" rule see I'm in marching band and that takes up a lot of time and I want to add something to it but I'm not sure what I could do to make him jealous and to keep myself more occupied with other things. I was thinking of some way to make him jealous but this would take up a lot of time. I was thinking that since I love singing and can sing pretty good that I would sing for this band that wants me to sing for them. i was going to sing for my ex's band but I said no because I didn't want to ruin our friendship(he asked me to sing for his band a few months before we got together). If I sing do you think that that would make him jealous? I hate to sound desperate for wanting him back but I want it to be back to how it was before we broke up when he could make me smile just by his presence and would comfort me and help me through all of my problems and write songs for me...sorry a little off topic...but i need help!!! please respond ASAP cuz i just don't know what to do and I need HELP!!!!

Erutan 21 months ago

Hi...how would this work if you broke up eith the guy but wasn't sure it was a good idea and told him a reason as evidence to the contrary and didn't mean to play games with him?

Marrie 21 months ago

Hi,so Wednesday me and my Boyfriend broke up...and it was over a Very stupid argunebt...but I guess this was the last straw..so he texted me yesterday and said he want to talk and see me...i Love him so much...I just have to stop arguing...Man I want him back...:(

Jasmin 21 months ago

Hi Essy :)

I have an issue with my boyfriend, we fight a LOT! latest one was that he was having family problems and i was trying to comfort him and help him as much as i can. Instead of accepting this, he wasn't welcoming and he treated me so badly on the phone. So, he had his problems resolved and at that time he phoned and sounded so relieved, i acted so strange on the phone. I wasn't me! he told me that he knew its not my fault but he was so anxious to get these problems resolved. Now we're not in contact since his last call on Thursday until now. I read your rules..to be strong, confident and try to get engaged in another activity...i don't want to call him after every fight as usual. i want him to say he is sorry and to regret that attitude. Please advise what should i do...thnx Essy for your help!

Sarah 21 months ago

My ex boyfriend and I dated for 3 years. Everything was perfect and then the week my grandma died I had a mental break down and took it out on him. We talked about taking a break but I told him I don't do breaks and that we should just break up if that is what he wanted. I told him that if we break up though that I couldn't be around him and we couldn't be friends because I wanted to be with him and it was him who didn't want to be with me. He cried to me about how much he loved me and never wanted to be without me. So we decided to stay together. The next day he came over, we napped, and he took me out to breakfast. Everything was perfect. It just so happened that that day was the 4th of July. I have been begging him to take me to the fireworks but he said he couldn't cause the guys were coming over to his place. I didn't care at all about that. So after he went back to his house and I went to my friends house(who lives right down the street from him) we kept texting each other. Then when I was leaving my friends house I noticed that his driveway had a lot of cars in it so I called him and asked who was all over. He named a bunch of guys and then girls. He never invited me over so I got upset. I asked him to come outside so we can talk. I started to cry cause I felt so hurt and he just stood there with his arms crossed. I told him he was rude and he started to yell at me saying he did nothing wrong (at this point he was very drunk). I begged him to stop yelling at me but he didn't. I then smacked him and walked away and he texted me telling me that we were done. Of course I begged him to think about it and all the stuff I shouldn't have done but I did do. Not even a week later he is dating a girl he just met and I am crushed by it. I deleted his number in my phone and blocked him on facebook. He randomly texted me the other day and I kept the conversation short. I want him back really bad. I don't know what to do!

Caitlin 21 months ago

Hey Essy,

Me and my Ex-Boyfriend broke up in January, he is all I EVER think about. We go to different schools but we live in the same town and see each other freaquently.He has a girlfriend, but is constantly texting me, I told him i still care about him and he said he still cares about me. He told me we should be together but he won't break up with his girlfreind. He keeps playing with my heart and I don't know what to do anymore. :( help... Thanks -Caitlin :)

mardarrer 21 months ago

Hi Essy,

Ive been reading alot about how to keep bf or get back with bf articles. it all comes into one, that the girl shouldn't be all over their guy. well I've been with my guy for months now, but we recently broke up because im moving city, and Ive been thinking of breaking up with him. my guy is really nice and sweet, but he never takes me out and always cancel on me when we plan to (and by the way, it was always me who asks him if we could go somewhere, aside from his house and my house). and there's this thing i dont understand about him, he never replied on my myspace comment or even messages when he does to others. i really love him, and i want him to take me back. so i tried ignoring him after we broke up, but then he sent me the lyrics of our song and it really touched my heart so i replied. so we started talking again, but he acts all cold on me, i dont understand why he even texted me at all. and this wasnt our first break up, the first time he did the same thing, thats why i tried to get him back even if he was with someone else. but this time even though there's no 3rd party it feels hopeless to get him back. i mean, he's just cold. i dont text him 24/7 or call him, i would say i only spend 1/4 of my day trying to talk to him. and phone is our only connection when were not together. i dont really know what else to do, i feel like ive done everything. help please. thank you

jojo 21 months ago

Hey I need help! ok my boyfriend and i have been together for like 5 months and i am completely in love with him. He is eleven years older than me but we get a long very well.. However I am SUPER jealous. I think about his ex's all the time and i am constantly comparing myself to them. He is super athletic and has really big muscles. I however have never been into working out. Im average size but nothing special. His last girlfriend is extremely skinny with a perfect body, it makes me super uncomfortable. I often will bring up things and ask him questions. For instance is she hot? and do you watch porn? so on and so on... There is sometimes im extremely comfortable and other times i get super selfconcious... Idk if i just need a self esteem builder.. Also i know I am the one girl he loves, but I am worrying that he will someday dump me for someone prettier. What the heck can I do to be more confident? Honestly I dont think he can do anything else to make me feel better.. Its all about me and Im afraid if I keep being insecure I will lose him. What do i do????

me 21 months ago

i broke up with my bf coz i cldnt handle long distance and parents around. he sure is pissed bt his best friend says he still loves you and needs yu equally. i have had a chat with him...he talks but is distant...we have weird incomplete conversations. in like 20 days we will be back in the same city. how should i move about and get him back ?

gwen 21 months ago

really fell for this guy. known each other for a year and had seen each other many times throughout (not called dating). started falling for him more...said he's afraid of commitment, he's divorced with a kid. just when he starts making efforts to see me more, says he isn't enthusiastic about dating. i'm an emotional wreck because while it wasn't a complete "breakup" i haven't seen him in over a month and i'm falling apart. i know he is interested in me...he was the one making all the "future" plans that i didnt ask for. how do i help him see that a relationship isnt scary and get him back? i miss him.

skykat 21 months ago

hi i have a question... ok i did the begging method for about a month and it did not work? did i mess things up? can i still use your plan? he know i'm broken down and heart broken.we dated for 8 months.i contact him like everyday (i know its bad) what do i do to stop contacting him? do i tell him im not going to contact him or do i leave him hanging?

Ginni 21 months ago

hey.. i am in very much need for you. My BF wants a break-up with me but i am the only one which is not letting him go. Every time he says i cry like hell in front of him and beg him to come back. he do come back but with lots of pressure. Earlier he used to do that when i want to leave him because he hooked up with another girl, but he came back to me. But now when everything was okay he suddenly said that he doesn't want me anymore by giving lame excuse that we dont have any future. I love him so much and i know who does too. Pleasee help me !! i need u soo much !

rose 21 months ago

hey i want my ex back but i texted him on my friends phone saying he should date me and all pretending to be her and i messed it up what should i do? and another im dating someone and he never answers what should i do and if he does answer he says hes busy he'll call back BUT NEVER DOES! what should i do?

emly 21 months ago

hey every one

i read the post and love the tips about how to get ur ex back

i wanted to tell u about my situation i had a boy frind and every thing was really nice untill i said some thing about that he is cheating on me with another girl that we both know so he sended me a text swearing and after it he was so cold dosen,t answer me dosen,t reaply my sms and 3 days ago we met in a frinds house and i felt that he is avoiding me , so i didn,t talk at all even frinds asked me what,s wrong i didn,t say nothing . so what chances i have to bring him back to me . and how i do it .?

Yesenia  21 months ago

This article is awesome, I know you can't give one on one feedback anymore. But all I wan't you to know is that only by reading this article everyday you are already helping me and giving me one on one. As of now it has only been 3 days for me, so is still soon. I will come back later and let you know if it worked for me :) Thank you so much you are truly awesome..........

Crissy  21 months ago

Hey Essy,

Ok so here is what happend. He is an old boyfriend from Jr high lol well 14 years passed. Both of us have had kids and been married and divorced. We both had so much in common and besides that as soon as we reconnected there was still a big flame between us. We have a long distance relationship we live two states away. He lives in our home state but I have moved out of state years ago. So we texted, talked on the phone, online ect constantly and we ended up falling in love. He came to see me and meet my kids and we had a great time. A month and half or so later I went to his state for a vacation without my kids. I got to meet his son and we had a great time. The only thing is one night we went out and we both got really drunk. When we got back to his place we started to play poker as we both love texas hold 'em and we had a HUGE fight! I can't remember most of the fight but apparently i said things about him as he did about me. He left to a hotel that night and the next early afternoon I left to stay with a friend before he got home. I didnt want to leave but his mother came to the house and said it would be better if I left before he got home. I spent the last days of my vacation balling my eyes out. I called him...alot. He wouldnt speak to me or even answer his phone. When I got home I called him several times more over a few days and sent him an email and three IM's. I was and am just completely heart broken. He sent me an email yesterday saying he missed me and loved me but that he doesnt want to talk on the phone right now because he is confused and depressed and doesnt know what to do. He said he wants to email. So I sent him a response saying how sorry I was, what I did wrong, and pretty much saying I loved him missed him and am completely broken hearted. How do I get him back at this point?

Maci 21 months ago

Hey Esmerelda,

I need some advice. I really like this guy that I broke up with a few months ago, which was a huge mistake, and I want to get back together. But now there is another guy that is my friend and he REALLY likes me and I like him but I don't want to mess the whole friend ship up, and I don't want to hurt him. What do I do?

Caitie 20 months ago

this article does help out a lot, but my situation is that i broke up with my boyfriend after five months.. it was litterally the mistake of my life.. i realized how much he truly loved me. But i just felt like we weren't getting along.. but after i called him one night and i told him, we were both on the phone for a hour balling. but i really need him back, ever since kindergarden we been off and on. And we try to make it work each time but we end up breaking up for stupid reasons each time but this time i felt like i was just suffocated. i still love him with all my heart, and he wants me back but he doesn't want to get his heart broken again.. which i sort of understand. but i would still do anything to get him back, before he starts liking anyone else. Because all i can focus on is him. ?

Amanda 20 months ago

Hello Essy,

I would read all of the above to see if any of those situations are simillar to mine but to be honest, thats a LOTT of reading. So Please, comment on my problem.

Ive been dating my boyfriend for nine months now, and before me, he liked to "date around" if you know what I mean but with me he was almost perfect. One slip up weekend where he cheated on me but otherwise, we were a happy couple. We spent everyday together. Which ultimately led to the "break" he wanted us to go on. He said "we've been spending too much time together, I feel like your more of my best friend than my girlfriend, i need to be single for a while, etc" but he also insisted that this is a break, not a break-up, he doesn't want me out of his life completely. he wants me to keep the key to his house and keep all of my stuff still in his house. ANd to anyone who asks, "Are yal gonna get back together?" he says "I don't see a reason why we wouldn't" But we haven't talked really about anything. Its still a fresh "break", only five days ago, but I'm already going bananas. I miss him terribly but I don't want to do anything that might prolong this "break". What can I do to get him to come back ASAP? Please help.

-Amanda

Lena 20 months ago

Hi

I've kinda of be doing the harrassing thing and checking his phone call lists (as I can get into his account). I told him that we couldn't be friends because it was too hard and then something serious happened to me which meant we had to talk.

Now things are sorted we've gone back to minimal contact which really breaks me and I've started to send stupid messages like ' Thanks for replying to my text' etc.

The thing is when I've seen his calls I've seen that he keeps calling this same girl - so there is the possibility he is with someone else. It really kills me to think he could have moved on and I still really want him back.

Could this plan still work?

Thanks x

camila27 20 months ago

hi essy!

i find your article very helpful. people around me say the same thing that if i constantly nag my ex bf this will drive him away. but i never listened to them. i thought all my instincts were right i followed what my heart said but its to late when i realized that im doing the wrong thing. he even said that "people advice you to give me space but you didnt they are right that you just drove me away from you! no more chances. i dont want you back in my life." he's my boyfriend for 3 years and he cheated on me thats why we broke up. but he said its not only the reason why he broke up with me he said that even before he wants to broke up with me he just giving us chance to make it work for the past 3 yrs but it never worked. he even said that he regret that he cheated on me but he never regret that he broke up with me. he wants to feel alive again and he feel alive whenever hes with that girl. but they never been together coz i made the whole world against them. i was with him last 2 days ago. i was begging for him to take me back but he said "its not right if only one of us want our relationship to work again but the other dont. its like im fooling you. i dont you to get hurt more.."

pls help. is there any chances for us to be together again? :(

JESS 20 months ago

Hi Essy

I have a different kind of brake up. My ex and I were engaged and things were great I have 2 kids who ador him and he them, But things went down fast he started to make massive finance decisions with out me having a say when we have so much together and both work hard and drinking with mates. My ex and I broke up a few weeks ago we still live together and he did start wanting me back a few weeks later but I wanted to make him feel the way I felt when we broke up ( heart broken and Usless). I wanted him to wake up, to treating me like a partner not a child so I kept saying no cause things needed to change. A few days ago I said to him I wanted him back he turned to me and said he didn't want me anymore but to live together as friends.

He went on the net and met another girl, I was in shock so I cracked it at him and asked a guy I know out on a date. When he found out he asked me not to go and we kissed and made love then after I asked if we were back together but he said he couldn't cause he felt it was over. i love him so much and I am hurting so bad right now to see him go to her place. he tells me that they are friends and have not done anything, I have turned to things like I sent her a message and asked her to leave him alone and she just told him. I have treaten him that I would call her and visit her work to find out what is the go but he just tells me I am nuts. So i went on a date with someone else and I had fun but I still keep begging him back. He tells me he dose not know what he wants but I think he is just trying to have the attention still. How do I be stong in my own house at all times? what do I do I dont want to loose him or our family.

katie 20 months ago

My ex boyfriend is very stubborn and hard headed He keeps breaking up with me because of little stupid things! Hes more of the jelous type and he gets overprotective of me. We are not currently dating but hes always texting me and telling me he misses me. I was the one who broke up with him because he wouldn't tell he me he loves me enough or that im beautiful/baby. He was acting like a real jerk! When we first started dating he was very sweet and called me baby in almost every text he sent me or when he called me. Now he hardly doesnt call me baby at all or beautiful or anything! i wanted him to show me more love! I really miss him and i dont know what to tell him when he tells me that he misses me. I really miss him and want him back. Before when i broke up with him last time he told me he misses me and desperatly said take me back! and when I broke up with him he was like no please. I felt bad for him so I stayed with him. I do love him and i just dont know wat i should do. I dont want to hurt his feelings at all. NOT AT ALL! :'( any help??

Becca 20 months ago

Hey Essy,

A year ago i worked so hard to get the guy that i wanted. We eventually dated after about 2 months of hard work. We dated 8 months. We were the perfect couple while we date. He treated me so good in the beginning. As we continued he started treating me worse. I became really needy and was imature. My boyfriend broke up with me in june. Towards the end the "spark" died. He was a quite boy and im a loud girl. I brought him out of his shell while we dated. We had the summer apart and now school has started. I see him every where. I see him talking to a bunch of pretty girls and am afriad he will be with one of them. I really want him back and will do anything for it. I texted him this week talking normal and he told me he wants to be civil. He said hi to me the next day. I texted him again at night just talking normal and he didnt text me back tell 3 hours later saying "im going to bed. see ya" I saw him at a football game last night with another girl and it broke my heart. How can I get him back and make him mine again? Please help me Essy

heartbroken 20 months ago

my boyfriend and I dated and lived together for 2 and a half years. We got along great and we were pretty much inseparable. He was the perfect bf. He did everything for me, never snuck around was always the first to say sorry, everything i could ever want. We finished each others sentences, motivated each other and had an amazing relationship. However, I have always been very selfish with his time. We would argue a lot about what our plans for the day was. I wanted one thing, he wanted another and we could never come to an agreement. I always wanted to resolve things on the spot and when he got mad he would walk away. That would make me more upset and at that point i would try and make him talk to me. which i know wasnt good. Then our fights began to escalate and got more and more dramatic. However, we always managed to make up and never go to sleep upset. When we weren't fighting everything was perfect. we had no other issues besides the fact that we couldnt decide on plans. Then one day we get into a fight over plans again and i was a little mean to him next thing i know he turned off his phone for the entire day and never came home. The next day he came over with his brother and moved all his things out and into his brothers house. During the process i could tell his eyes were tearing up and he was notably upset. I was devastated. The next day he calls me and invites me for lunch as friends. Later on that day we were hanging out and i broke down and told him how i felt and we agreed to stay together but living seperately. However since then we have broken up and gotten back together over five times. (its been 2 and half weeks since he moved out) He has changed. He no longer calls me all the time or is affectionate. Anything i say is reason to break up. Now the last thing that happened was that i was going on vacation with my parents for a week and he had agreed to join for a couple of days since he was off work. He came for three days and we had a blast. However the last day we had made all these plans to do together since he wasnt going to see me for the rest of the week. but when he woke up he snapped and said that he didnt want to do those things anymore and that he had to leave by two to go work out. It didnt make any sense to me so i got upset and he decided out of no where to stay. We had an awesome time together. He was being so sweet. He called me so many times when he was on his way home. everything was perfect but then i sorta messed up. My girlfriends came over and we were drinking till late and talking about what was going on between him and i. I started thinking too much and looking at the negative too much. I called him bc i knew he would be up getting dressed for work and told him how i felt. I told him that he had broken my heart and that i didnt think things were going to work after what he had put me through. He got very upset and kept apologizing. I realized i probably shouldnt be saying those things while i was drinking and hadnt even gone to sleep yet. so i told him not to take anything i say seriously and that i would call him in the morning. When i called him he was so mad he didnt even want to talk to me. he hung up on me and turned off him phone. But then he will send me msgs saying he forgives me and everything is fine and that he loves me. but when i call he wont answer. Today he turned off his hone the whole day. When i finally got ahold of him we talked and joked about some things. I told him i was sorry and he told me he loved me and would call me before bed. a couple hours later i called to ask him something and he didnt answer. When i called again he had turned off his pphone. I feel like he has been playing these games with me on purpose. I called him so much today and i knew i shouldnt have. Please shed some light on my situation and i would be forever grateful. I know what we had was real and i know he loves me. I know there are no other women in his life. I just need to find out how to get him back.

Sophiea 20 months ago

What do I do if I broke up with him, but I only broke up with him because I was having mixed emotions about the relationship, but now that I've thought over it, PORED over it, I've realized that I really regret doing that. And I want him back, how should I get him back?

Katlyn 20 months ago

@ Jaz. I'm sorry for what happened. I know what its like. A week ago my boyfriend broke up with me because of my behavior and selfishness. I know you don't want advice from a girl whose boyfriend just broke up with her recently, but I'm going to tell you what his mom told me. If you're his first girlfriend, then when he told you he loved you and missed you he really meant it. You can't go from talking to someone everyday, every moment to zero contact at all, without hurting. But, you'll get through this. If you want him back, work for his love if he's worth it. I've been doing the same and his mom's been telling me that she knows we're going to get back together now, but I'm a very paranoid person and thinking maybe he doesn't want to or if we do, I'd ruin it again with him. I know how you're feeling, and if you ever need someone to cope with, find a close friend. Good luck to you.

emily 20 months ago

Katlyn how do you work for his love? I just sent my boyfriend a text apologizing for how i responded to the break up and do not know what is my next step.. He texted me back saying he's sorry how it went down also. I REALLY want him back but don't konw what to do. Its been 3 months since we broke up and i just texted him that but he says he's feelings changed. HELP PLEASE :(

Katlyn 20 months ago

@ Emily. Honestly, I think 3 Months would have probably gave him alittle bit of time to get over the break up. But if you want him back. You can get him back. His feelings may have probably changed, but I doubt that all of the magic between you two is gone in such a short time. If you want to rekindle your romance, you need to work at it. Start over as friends. Give him some time to see what he's lost. I've myself have been going crazy not speaking to my ex in a week. I'm not a good person to go to for love advice, but if you really want someone to consult in, I'll find a way to chat with you. I can only tell you by my experiences from past relationships. And I know my ex of now, is a huge deal to me. I've never cared so much for someone and never loved or cried over someone as much as I cried when my father passed away. Emily, I know you can get through this. Your life is not over. If you really want him back. Start over your relationship as friends and build back what you had before. That's all I can really say. I'm sorry I'm of no use.

christina 20 months ago

heyy essy,

so me and my boyfriend broke up about a week ago, his reason was he was "losing feelings" and something "wasn't right" i messed up and sent txts but have not called. i don't know exactly what to do next. i need your help i need him back!

Stephanie 20 months ago

I have been goin out wiht my boyfriend over the summer. We went out for about 2 months, but most of the time we would just talk on the phone every night because he went on vacation to california for a month and when he came back a week later we went on our first REAL date. We went to the movies and it was awkward most of the time but we laughed most of the movie but not at the movie at each of us just being funny..well after we didnt know what to do and I ended up having to leave early..that night i texted him and he didnt respond..the next day i texted him a few times because it wasnt like him to EVER ignore my texts and that night he txted bk "what do u want! Im trying to sleep!" so i didnt text him anymore and i got one of his best friends to find out if he was angry at me or something and his bestfriend told me he was and that he was going to dump me..i was sooo devastated because the week before we were soooo in love and now it was coming down..so i waited it out a week hoping for him to txt me and he didnt so i got the idea he forgot about me and go tangry and dumped him and he didnt txt me bk..well school came bk and he said he wanted to at least be friends and i said ok and we had a fight about the break up and found out that wat his best friend told me was a lie cuz his best friend had a crush on me..i cried even more..i couldnt talk to him anymore...2 weeks later i gave up and told him that i still felt bad about the break up and that i was srry and he told me that he was going out with someone..and i told him it was ok i told him i didnt expect anything from him that i just wanted him to know i still cared about him..he said ok..time passes and we become best friends and when i find out him and his gf break up he comes to me for help..so i wanted him to be happy so i helped out and go tthem bk together..turns out the girl only took him bk because everyone pressured her to... and me and her r friends and I am also still friends with him..while i was helping him through his break up like a good friend he told me.."none of this would have happened if u wouldnt have broken up with me in the first place"..and i felt so hurt and explained everything to him and he said srry he hurt me..and says he isnt cut out for love..i was sooo confused because i still haev feelings for him but its just sooo confusing..i have the feeling he might not want to go back out again..but i have the feeling it could happen again..i honestly dont know what to do have any advice

Ann 20 months ago

Hello Esmeralda..

liked your article..

Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 2 months..(He was my first bf) The first month was the best in my entire life.. We had romantic relationship, we've been talking the phone for hours.. going to the cafes, for walking and so on. We spent New Year together.. It was the most wonderful evening i have ever had. I thought the world was mine.. But after month he told me that he couldn't fell in love with me... That he wasn't that king of guy who is romantic, who cares about girl and so on. But when we met another day he told me,that he wasn't going to broke up with me. But since that day has started my suffering... We've been seen each other once a week... He had broken up with me 3 times, but in the end he was asking apologize. I was so bad.. He rarely called me.. I thought that somebody changed him... couldn't recognize his actions.. But when we were meeting it was so exciting, i will never forget his eyes when he was looking at me... The main problem was that he was going to USA to study... Anyway, we had to brake up and he didn't want to fell in love with me.. After month i broke up with him, because i was tired.. He didn't pay any attention to me anymore.. But then started my worst days... I was drunk few times and sent him messages that i missed him.. He was angry.. Than i deleted his number.. He deleted me from everywhere, even from facebook.. It was 7 months ago...He went to USA and i'm in London.. A week ago he added me on Facebok.. Couldn't believed my eyes..:( but he isn't in touch with me... He only commented on my status and i had birthday and he just wrote on my wall : Happy Birthday, i felt so bad.. And from February i've seen him only once.. And still love him.. can't do anything..

Jayde 20 months ago

There was this guy, we saw each other everyday so one day I decided to finally ask him who he was. He was a student teacher and was going for a degree. We instantly had a bond and common ground since I was a teacher. We talked non-stop. He said that he thought he loved me and letting my heart get the better of me I said that I really did love him. For a week he had no contact with me and never answered my calls. Only recently did he just get his degree but I still see him around. He never speaks to me still.Is there a way I can get him back and what did I do that drove him away?

mada 20 months ago

Hey I've got a real mess & am not sure wht to do, think, say, feel anymore I really need some advice wht is the best way to.communicate with ya thanks

katie 20 months ago

Hey Essy!

I really need your help. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a few months, but see each other pretty well every day. We have been fighting for a little while, but one of us keeps coming back to each other and things are good again and we seem to start over. Last night, he broke up with me for good. He says he just doesn't love me anymore and that he doesn't see us getting back together, nor does he want it.

We are both close with each other's family, so when he decided to break up, he said he still wants to come over and see my family and my brother all the time. I dont want to say no to upset him or cause a problem with their friendship, and of course I'd like to see him, but that is conflicting with a rule.

We were on a break before, and he said that when he came over, he enjoyed seeing me as a friend better. But i can't handle being just friends with him. And the only reason he enjoyed it, is because we were just on a break and we were not over for good. But now we are, and i am just so miserable.

He says that i've changed, and that i'm not the person he fell in love with, even though I don't see it at all. I keep trying to change certain things I'm doing wrong, but it never is the right thing and i never seem to get it right.

How do i get him to come back and stay with me for good? I honestly can't live without him. He is my best friend.

PM 20 months ago

Your advice is so accurate, I am still in the beginning of the whole NO CONTACT, and I have had my miserable day, but i feel amazing and cant wait for the rest of my life :)

Eeema 20 months ago

Hay Essy,

Me and my ex dated THREE TIMES before we broke up for the summer between school years. I hav had a few boyfriends in between our relationships but I always go back to him when me and one of my "Replacements" break up. I am at the moment dating a wonderful boy named Josh who is a year older then me and sweet as candy. But I feel like Josh is hard to hold onto becausse of the Allure of the girls he is constantly surrounded by in school. He is in a different school then me so i barely see him. Me and my ex, Cole, hang out daily inbetween classes and at lunch and our after-lunch-free-period. I am once again being pulled into Cole's gravitational atractivness because I see him so much. I love Josh, but me and Cole have so much history, that I am on the verge of breaking up with Josh. HELP ME OUT HERE!!! I know this just barely relates but I am in DESPERATE need of advice.

~Eeema

Lillian 20 months ago

Dear Essy,

I've been in a relationship with my ex for 11 months. I found out recently that my ex boyfriend kissed another girl and he hid this secret from me for a week. He did not tell me about this secret himself, I had found out a friend. I broke up with him 3 days later and now I am a mess. All I do is think about him and I really want him back. How do I get him back without being overly aggressive? Is it even worth it, since he hid the secret from me?

Thank you

Gulten 20 months ago

hey

so me and my boyfriend broke up this morning he told me that he didnt like some of the stuff i was doing and he wasnt happy anymore but yesturday he asked me to marry him in text

we have this situation where i wont be seeing him for a year so we just text and he was going to propose to me when i went back

but now he broke up with me because my family doesn't approve of us and he was hurting because of all the things they said and the things i said

he told me that i was the only one he wanted to marry and that he could never marry anyone else after we broke up

and i kind of did all the things that you weren't supposed to do

so i have no clue what to do if i dont talk to him he had already said he didnt want to talk to me for a long time and i was thinking of texting him at least once a day so he doesn't forget me and so he knows i didnt forget him but i dont know because of all the things you said above i shouldn't but what if he finds someone else?

can you please help me i have absolutely no clue on what to do he said he needed time to think about it...

so could you help me out it's really hard but iv been trying to think about how we will be after we get together

thank you :)

Roa Abdelgaffar 20 months ago

hey my boyfreind brokeup with 7 month ago, we where great together and amazing and we were both happy, suddenly he stoped texting me or calling me, and started traeting me badly, 2 weeks later i asked him whats happening and stuff, he was like ok we need a break and that means its over in a good way, a month later he had a girl friend and he said he realy loves her,, and now am still alone amd cant move on what can i do???! :'(

notsurewhattodo 20 months ago

hi i have split up from my ex over two years ago now, i still love him to pieces and he still comes to see me once a week because we have a son together, he still expects sex with me but when i say about us getting back together he says i dont know i want to live my life im only young or i get told that he does not think we would work. i really want to get back with him as it breaks my heart still after two years i have not been in another relationship since him as i dont want to be with anyone but him. we talk all the time i just dont know what to do? is there a chance this could work for us im willing to try anything?

samantha 20 months ago

i was wondering like in my situation the guy left his ex for me then it ended with us and now he is back with her would the same rules apply cuz if he is with her then i feel hopeless for us but i miss him

Heart Broken 20 months ago

Wel i have been with my ex for a year and 8 months and it was the best ever, even tough his mother never liked me and was always trying to get in between our relationship or trying to braek us up! now the last two months thing went a little downwords and we ended up fighting almost every day over small thing and we made up every time and fell in love again, but on our one year and 8 month anniversary I wanted to take him out for a night of love and romance like he always did, and he started to make excuses that he doesnt wana go out and then on that day he phoned me and told me that he needed to work late, we can go out a nother night so it went on to make the story short it came out at the end that he went out with a firnd of mine who says that she was only my friend because of him and left me for her and he doesnt even feel bad about anything and that he is happy with her and it makes me very sad and dont know what do do Im in a lot of pain and Im willing to forgive him!!

tiffany 20 months ago

Okay so I was going out with this guy and he said that he really liked me and I really liked him too. But then one night he tells me he likes someone else and that he just wants to be friends. But I really miss him and want him back! What do i do?

Maria 20 months ago

Hi, i was with my guy for 2 years, i fell pregneant and was delighted but i ended up having a misscarraige, he was there for me holding my hand through it all but things werent the same after that. my fella was always faithfull but 2 months after i lost our baby he slept with my cousin, i totally fell apart and i know he regreats it, but i he trys to act like he doesnt care i want him back.. what do i do??

vochey 20 months ago

i read your article, wish i had seen it earlier. Mind you i dont think anything could have helped. My partner told me he wasnt sure how he felt after being together 5 years, i went mad. I got too angry and hurt and i pushed him away. Ended up calling him up constantly and finding out where he was, who he was with all the time and pushed him to the point of hating me. Two years later once i let go and both started dating other people he told me he still loved me and thinks he always did there was just too much happening that he thought it would never work again and felt like he'd lost his love for me. A year and a half later we're still together but unfortunately im still a nervous wreck and worried he'll leave again. Any help?

Samantha 20 months ago

My boyfriend and I dated for almost a year when he broke up me. The reason he broke up with me is because its his first year of community college and he's stressed over school, work and paying his parents rent. When we hang out he kisses me and tells me he still loves me, but when I get home he'll text me saying we shouldn't kiss even though it will be very difficult. He doesn't want to talk about when/if we will get back together; he hopes we do and so do I. I'm still there for him when he gets over whelmed and we talk all the time. What do I do to make it a guaranteed we get back together?

Brits.. 20 months ago

heey, you post is so good! but what should i do in my situation?

`well i was dating this boy for only a couple of weeks but it was so good and we were so close then just randomly one day he said it was over he doesnt want to be with me anymore, all of his close friends have told me that he really still likes me, and i really like him... please help! x

Amanda  20 months ago

Hi my name is Amanda I posted a comment on me and my boyfriend Alex yesterday around this time I was the girl who broke allyhe rules and then some and I broke up with him over the net cause I thought he was gonna do it and I want him back and idk how to fix it yea that was me I came on here to check if you wrote back and my comment is gone I spent alot of time writing and reading ur article I was just wondering why u deleted my comment????

Ps I still need ur help

Sasha 20 months ago

Hey Essy, I need some serious help here, i dont want to mess up my chance so im hoping you can help me :(, so me and my boyfriend were together for almost a year when he suddenly broke it with me for reasons i think are pretty silly. his family and friends are telling me he might just need space and to keep positive, but i honestly am going to need to follow your tips to get him back, i have told him that i think that he was right about the break up and that everything happens for a reason right? and so i think he thinks im happy about it and ever since then i have cut all contact, so far nothing has happened, have i already blown it? or is it just beginning to work? is there something i should be doing differently? and also apart from giving him space and cutting all oontact, i have to see him every day for an hour, what do i do within that hour? if i never see him apart from that one hour a day and i never talk to him, what do i do to make him want me back/? please reply i cant eat or sleep anymore i just dont know what to do.

thanks a million. x

Sasha. x

kila 20 months ago

me and my ex broke up in august because of a picture of me in my swimsuit that his mom saw he hated me because he got put on punishment i still love him and i wanna cry all the but i also have a boy i like what should i do

young-love 20 months ago

I am very young but i accutly am in love! Okay i may be 14 years old but i met this amazing guy in feburary, we started dating in March. we dated for four and a half months. Those were the best months of my life and i mean it. i opened up to him sooo much and he opened up to me, we were in love. he was so romantic and such a gentle man, he would open doors for me, he surprised me at my house with flowers on one of our anniversarys. my family loved him and his family loved me. near the end of the relationship we started fighting over stupid stuff, we took a break and over the month we were dating he was trying to take me back and i just kept pushing it, until one day he was sick of waiting and moved on. Now hes dating another girl and i have been wicked depressed, i need him in my life or i want him. I cant be without him. i didnt want to push him i was just trying to set us back in line and work things out. i miss him so much i have never been so depressed and i just dont know what to do. i want to get him back SOOOOO bad, i have never been so fricken depressed. please help. i love him soo much

Diana 20 months ago

My boyfriend wanted space and break. We been apart for 3 weeks now, and that's the longest we had been apart. I didn't trust him and noway possible, things he had told me or do is always second guessing, so I think I had pushed him away because the problems that I had for him. I wanted him so badly, because I come to realize that the communication wasn't there, so I held my grudges and blow up. He wanted me to give him a second chance so, we have a date on Tuesday, what shall I do, or how to react to this type of situation.

Samantha 20 months ago

Hey so right now im going through a lot. Me and my boyfriend were dating for a year and because I was jealous he broke up with me at the end of July, up until last night he's been stringing me along saying he needs to see that i've changed but 3 months is a while and in that time he would constantly bring up fights we had in the past. Last night he told me he doesn't want me in his life anymore and he doesn't like me and when I said okay to that.. he was like "oh so now you're a tough girl" its like he wants me to beg for him back.. so I did (i know it was dumb but i'm sure you know, its hard not to).. is it still too late to take your advice? Puleaseee help lol.

kait 20 months ago

Well a year a little over a year ago i was dating a guy. we fell in love and then he broke up with me because he was going to the marines. so after awhile i was still heartbroken and then i finally got over him. And then it was 6 months after he broke up with me and i was in a relationship all my feelings came back for him and we started talking and i broke up with my current boyfriend but then i didnt end up dating him. so then a year goes by and i find this amazing guy. and i fall head over heels really fast and then my ex comes back and i make the dumb mistake and brake up with my current boyfriend. but then i realize is my ex isnt the guy i use to like before and i broke up with someone really important that i really loved. And now my ex doesnt even want to look at me. its been a month and im still miserable and i just wannt be with me. what should i do?

Jade 20 months ago

Do you have an email? i need advice on how to get an ex back but i'd rather communicate with you one on one.

Claire 20 months ago

Wow, I am so glad that I found this site and that so many women are also suffering from the "boyfriend break up". My boyfriend of 10 months broke up with me Sunday. He says that "he can't make me happy" when he makes me over the moon happy. Going back a bit My boyfriend and I never really had any arguments over the 10 months, we had a few disagreements and he did confess to me that I nagged him a little. Anyway, I apologized and checked myself because I knew that he was right and told him that I am human and have faults but am willing to work on that flaw because I wanted us to work. He asked for a week break, which I gave him and we got back together after that. But, when he didn't want to come over the next weekend I confessed to him that I was insecure about our relationship. (wrong move I know because I let him know how vulnerable I was too soon) Well, we didn't speak for a few days and when we did he told me that he wanted to break up. However, my boyfriend also just went through a difficult divorce 3 years prior that he has never really gotten over, and went through a stressful time at his job. All during our relationship he seemed to have a wall up and I tried to be patient because I understood the pain he was going through. However, it appeared that he was allowing his past to rule his future and at times I became inpatient with him. He never seemed to want to talk about his feelings, but because I knew men are reluctant in that arena I was patient. We went on a romantic vacation that was ruined a little because a coworker called him the night before he left to tell him that rumors were that he would be fired. That made him edgy the entire trip, I understand and I tried to reassure him that it was a rumor and not to worry until we got back but he just couldn't. He was very moody the entire trip, but we tried to make the best of it. He also finally told me that he loved me as well, and I told him the same. After that, however, he seemed to want to keep our relationship "drama free" which to him meant if I was angry with him (which was very rare) 2 times. That it was drama. One day I was talking to him and he just seemed really flip towards me so I shut down and didn't speak to him for about an hour or so over dinner. He called that "drama". To me, drama is throwing things and cursing him out, which I never did. So, back to today. After our break up I emailed him what I called "the last email" and told him I wished him well and would miss our times together. He then replied that he missed me terribly and agonized over his decision but thought it best because "he didn't think that he could make me happy" in the future. I emailed him back a bit upset and told him that I wouldn't continue to tell him that he made me happy and that if he wanted me to date other men to find happiness that I would. (probably the wrong thing to say, or probably not) Anyway, I thought that email showed too much emotion so I emailed him again that I was wrong and that I truly wanted him to be happy, I loved him but part of loving someone is letting them go and that "I was letting him go". I have some of his belongings that he is supposed to pick up this weekend but honestly I just want to mail it to him and move on. But, I want him to see me one more time to see my face because I know that he is in love with me. But, it may be better to just send him his belongings. It would be a shock to him and perhaps show him that I am truly moving on. Any advice there? Anyway, here I am missing my boyfriend but resound in the fact that I did my best with a man who quite honestly is allowing his past pain from finding future happiness. He is seeing his ex wife and NOT ME. His baggage is making him self destructive because I think for so long he has told himself that he is a victim, has felt sorry for himself and our love no longer allows him to do that. I understand that I must move on and believe me I am no longer going to contact him because at this point I am emotionally drained. But, I do love him and think he is the love of my life. I want him back but not sure outside of moving on how to proceed.

Britney 20 months ago

hayy

thanks for the tips im ignoring him completelyy

i think the reason im so sceard to ignore him is that if i ignore him 2 much he will move on evn quicker...

we broke up because he was leaving but then i found out he was staying and then all of a sudden he said he dsnt love me anymore... i dont belive that when he tells me that but his been a bit of a D**khead the past few weeks...he says he just wants 2 be friends but i find him causing fights over the smallest things... im woundering now if his just causing fights for him 2 have a reason to not care for me anymore.. because during the relationship we did not have one fight and our relationship was truley a good one...my plan is to just stay friends and yes not be to needy.. if he cares for me he will come back... i will not show him i care and will only be myself because hay... he fell inlove with me.. so thats who i will be... yes its hard not taling to him but it has also helped me clear my mind.. i am oay with having him in my life only as a friend but i will always have thoes feelings... i hope my plan to get him bac will work and that i havnt done to much damage already that iv pushed him away for good... iv showed him i care about him enough i dont need to show him anymore coz he nows how i feel... i just get nothing in return and it maes me want to put his head through a wall because i now he cares and it fustrates me because his acting like a different guy... hope u can just give me a little bit more advice for my own personal situation and what you think is going on here.. thank you xoxox

Successfulblonde22 20 months ago

My ex bf broke up with me so that i could focus on school. what that means i have no clue. But he says he misses me and just i dont know what to do because he invited me to a ball in nov. And says that im still his girl but what on earth am i suppossed to think?

kiwibabe 20 months ago

hey

I was living with my boyfriend of 3 years we bought a house together and after this time now he met a lesbian girl at work i think he is interested on her cause they text to much and he calls her all the time i even think they talk more than what we use to. I got really jealous and one time she called him like around 12 or 1 am saying she needed some help cause her girlfriend was trying to run over her with her truck. He ask me to go with him but i said no and he ended up going anyways which upset me even more, I started driving to my sister in law house to talk to her and on my way i see his friend stopping at a gas station so I followed him and when i turn i see her hugging him i was crushed then i drove off to my in laws house and he ran after me he told me he loved me that she was just saying thanks and that nothing was going on between them i couldn't believe what i saw i was devastated . so now he told me he needs some space and that we shouldn't be together he also told me he doesn't feel the same about me and that he just wants to be alone now, i love him so much it hurts me and i broke all the rules i don't know what to do. I just feel so insecure cause he told me he can stop talking to her because they are friends. I feel bad because I insulted her but she also hurt me cause she told me that they are really close and that they like all the same stuff. its just really painful cause i though i gave him me 100 percent and she makes me feel like i wasn't there enough. also he left the house and went back to his parents house but sometimes ill found him in our house and he says its because he misses me . He wants to be intimate but also says its wrong cause we are not together , so i don't know what to think.Help me please

tiffany 20 months ago

ok.. what do you do when u and yur ex have been together alot. well this one time u mess up u cant change it what do u do.

g@bby  20 months ago

it is fun to date but then you break up and everybody knows and says that you to were so cute together and that makes you want to go out with him even more so and miss him more so that is why i am going to try your skills and techniques . wish me luck ! :)

dued 20 months ago

hey ez, i'm a dude...trying exactly the same things with a girl right now. She gave me the whole "I would still like to be friends" speech. Since the day we broke up she's stopped giving me the cold shoulder and will actually talk to me when she sees me instead of rushing off. I've been keeping my fingers away from her phone number, being friendly but brief with her when I see her, and she seems to talk to me even more now when she sees that. (For the past few months she'd been avoiding me, and when I'd see her she was very hostile.)

Just thought I would mention that it doesn't only work on us simpletons.

Lisa 20 months ago

Hi Essy do you have a email adddress i could forward my situation to u and see what you think of it all...it is rather long and didnt wanna fill up this page typing it all.

chocky 20 months ago

Hi..I have tried all the wrng methods..And looks like he has moved on. i have been sending mails several times a day..And i dnt see a reply or any feedback. he has changed his phone number adn have blocked me from fb..How am I suppose to get him back. the reason we broke was due to religious matters but now i have realised that I need him back and I am ready to do any compromise to get him abck. Please help me..

Manu 20 months ago

Hi essy,

My bf dumped me a week ago and I have been miserable and I followed my instincts and totally harassed him. What do I do now? Is there no hope or should I do?

Ally 20 months ago

hey essy.

My boyfriend and I are broken uo for now, i say for now , because he said there is still a chance we can be together one day. Maybe in a few months, maybe less. I hope less. But he said he needed space to sort his head out, and work out what he really wants and how he really feels.

I have started the no contact thing, do you think after a few weeks, I should phone him or text him and ask how he is. Im scared he is not going to contact me, just forget about me and move on. We had been going out for 3 and a half years. we were so in love, and i still am.

savanna 20 months ago

hey essy,

Me nd my boyfriend broke up for a couple months now, ur advise worked rlly well we have been going out for 5 months nd recently he lost feeleings and, now we r back together.... thnx..

~savanna

Hannah 20 months ago

Hi Essay,

Ive been with my boyfriend for two and a half years and lived with his parents,we argued most of all the time over stuff i know as really stupid now and i totally regret it we have given it so many shots before and all week i have been calling/texting him to ask him to think about it and he says he is never going to change his mind what should i do:( he says this isnt what he wants anymore.

Hyacinth ( that's really my name!) 20 months ago

hi! um so this guy, Jay, is a year below me. And when I was in tenth he was a freshie, and I was TOTALLY in love with my best guy friend at the time, and Jay and I talked alot, but I thought he didn't like me at all. But one night we where texting and he was like " so i like someone. ALot" and I was all " telllll me!!!" andf after about three hours of texting he finally said " IT"S YOU." from then on i avoided him like the plauge. I felt bad, becasue I would have dated him if it had not been for my stupid Best Guy Freind, and I heard all these rumurs about how Jay was "in love" with me. So over the summer me and my Best Guy Friend "broke up" and I just couldn't stop thinking about Jay.And then I realized that the perfect guy had been there all along! So I texted him. And i told him i liked him. We where all giddy and talked for a few weeks over the fone. He texted me AAAAALLLLLLL day. from dusk till dawn. And then he didn't call oir text me for a day. I was sorta freaked, but i didn't think into it. He calls me the next night and dumps me over the fone. I was crushed. So now it's seven weeks into school. He is a sophmore and I am a junior and his locker is right beneath mine. YIKES! i still get butterflies and everything, and he flirts with me. But then he is very rude to me and ignores me. HE IS GIVING ME MIXED SIGNALS! he told me we could still " make it work once we got to school" because " we just could hang out during summer". Now i think that was all a lie so he could just dump me. I AM MAJORLY SAD. please help me :(

valerie 20 months ago

idk what to do i broke up with him becuz i felt lyk he nevr wantd to spend time wit me bcuz his job and i broke up wit him yestrday nite but i sitll want to be with him i try to talk to him but he just ignore my calls and my text messages i even told him that i still want to be with him and all kind of stuff he's my 1st everything what should i do should i just wait for him to call me or should i move on and just forgete about him since he's not even caring that i broke up with him. :.(

Becky Weed 20 months ago

Hey... Okay, this is really old. My ex boyfriend broke up with me like... 4 years ago. I thought he was just using me so he could say he dated every girl in the school. But he broke up with me because he thought we weren't old enough to date... And what hurts the most right now is that I saw him. Again. This year at this 4th of July run/walk thing. But here's the reason: He lived like 3-4 hours away from me. He lived half a state away from me! I mean, what are the chances of him coming to a town I moved to, but he didn't even know? I remember when he said my name, recognized me. I was too shy to go back to him and verify it was really him.

I'm sooooo upset now. I could have gotten him back, but I don't know his number, or his address, and I can't even remember his last name. Just Daimian. IDK what to do! I NEED to contact him but it's impossible!

Ever since then, I've never been able to get a boyfriend either. It hurts.

MSLDlove 20 months ago

my boyfriend and I are long distance.5hr drive. Due to his job we used to see eachother every weekend, then every other, now like once a month. Im a mother and I am not able to relocate where he is. I had a huge trust issue due to th%ir father and needless to say my friends make me feel that he probably cheats on me because the distance. I actually was upset he did not want to confirm or put in a relationship on his fb page yet i did. Hes throwing a party that I know about that he did not invite me to thinking i will be clingy when really i just want to be there to support him. I !m in love with him and he says he loves me. I just could not understand this and took matters into my own hands. i accused him of cheating via fb and it turned out he doesnt even know the girl and i asked her and she said she had no clue what i was referring to but not to feel bad because some things a girl needs to know. we broke up before because i heard%r0a%r0girl voice once in the background and was upset. he said we needed time apart. 2 weeks later we were together again but now I did this. And i apologized and begged. All this the day before his birthday, as you can see I really messed up. He said he forgives me and we will talk when he gets back and i texted him happy birthday and I actually already mailed a card so it will be there when he returns. he is in the military. I feel horrible but I think there is some hope because after say)ng no and telling me things wont be different he later said that we'd talk when he got back but as of now we were'nt together. the breakup happened 48hrs ago and he text me that last night. I am not going to call or text him but I am afraid of what the "talk" will entail. I already apologized and realize it is my own insecurities and to keep my friends out of it. Its a misery loves company thing i think without them even realizing it. what do you think and what should I do? The distance is not a problem for me because he has to go overseas soon. But we went from marriage plans to breakup #2. He used to text me good morning and call me beautiful and gorgeous and just send me I miss you texts and I love yous. Drive%2phours just to see me for 2! So when all this stopped this is why I got frantic. I know I have done wrong but what do I do!? I feel there is hope just unsure.

Lisa Mc 20 months ago

Hi you give really good advice although it does not help me as my ex lives in bolton and im in glasgow i was with him a long time i am pregnant with his child and he is a carer for his family so hes stressed at the moment because his mother and father are ill, any advice? x

Therese 20 months ago

hey essy!

Your rules look good! Though I'm afraid I broke all of them. :( OK here goes:

I really like this guy and over the summer I find out he like me too. So of course he ask me out and I'm all happy and everything...he tell me he love me and stuff like that and I thought I would die of happiness. But today...he told me he didnt feel it anymore through text. And my phone recieves messages kind of late so I was at his house when i finally got it and we were just sitting on the swings saying nothing, and he askes me, "Do you understand text messages?" So I'm all "Um...like what do you mean?" And he walks away and leaves me and I look at my phone and there's that message just sitting there and I almost start crying because I love the crap out of this guy and I really want him back...

ESSY PLEASE WHAT SHOULD I DO? I'm resiting the urge to go talk to him or anything and besides there's this other girl over there and she's thin and pretty and I'm just freaking out. How can I compete with her?

desperateme 20 months ago

good morning! welllllll i have a prob....me and my husband just brokeup 6 months before.....we are married since 1 and a half year now..... in first year of marriage we had a premature daughter...she was born in 7th month....and unfortunately or fortunately inspite of taking all precautions i got pregnant again 2 months later...... in da mean time like maybe after 6 months of marriage i had starting finding out stuff telling me dat he was cheating on me....i ignored it so as not 2 confront him.....but he started becoming confident in cheating on me with time.....i constantly was trying to make our home and family life more attractive for him so as to develop his interst in me and our home but it wasnt working....he wasnt taking out time for me....and he had totally kicked da element of romance between us............ and about sex life welll he used 2 satisfy himself in less dan 2 mins and go 2 sleep without taking care of me....whenever i approached him he alwayz pushed me away...........n stufff.............. ne how 6 months before i caught him red handed with one of his grlfrnd..... he had been dating and sleeping with her also....i den got out of control and was really angry....he dint apologize me for it...nehow i waited alot for him but he dint even contact me after dat....i was at my parents home when it happened....i waited 2 months but he dint contact me .........his family called me several times and spoke 2 me...one day he came 2 me and he threatened me dat if i hav 2 live with him further i have to come down to his terms and he is not guilty for whathe did... i told him things cant work like dat he has 2 realize what he hav done....and if he cant say sorry its ok....i dont need a sorry but i atleast demand da change in him 2 b visble in his actions and behavior 2 make our relation better but he refused...... now i am one month away from my deleivery and he is stil in no contact with me....he is stil flirting around and having fun and had sent me a message that he wil divorse me as soon as the child is born as by law he cant divorse before that....i need ur help....are there any chances i can get him back ....and make him miss me and his family and home....his children.....before its too late...i just have got 3 weeks!plz plz plz help

me 20 months ago

Hey Essy, I don't even know if you check this anymore since the last post was 20 months ago. I'm hoping there's some chance you do. I also don't know if you'll be able to give me any advice because I wasn't dating a guy, but a girl, who acts like a guy about 70% of the time. I won't go too crazy with my story, so to sum it all up my girlfriend and I had four awesome years together, and we never stopped talking about our future together. We had our children named, where we were going to live, and anything else possible planned out. I pretty much lived with her and her family in their house, so this break up felt like a divorce when I lost her and my family.

It's been a little over 3 months since we've broken up, it's been about 2 since I've spoken to her last. I'll admit, and I knew it at the time that I broke a major rule and called her crying my eyes out. I felt I needed to know if she truly wasn't in love with me anymore and I don't think I even got the answer from that phone call. Since then I haven't called or made contact and I've been focusing on myself big time.

The crazy thing about my situation is that some times I'm so confident we're going to get back together because she had such a difficult time breaking up with me and she didn't seem happy about it. I feel like she may have needed some space to work on herself, especially since we've been together since highschool. I keep telling myself that after we've both worked out what we need to, it'll come back together again.

The difficulty I'm having is that I'm terrified I'm going to get stuck in this hopeful stage and she's going to move on and I'll have to go through the misery again of coming to terms with reality. Counting the days isn't helping either. Is there a time limit to when she should possibly come back to me? Should I be worried I'm running out of time?

So much for keeping it short, huh? I guess I'm just terrified that I still believe we were meant to be together and she doesn't think that anymore. I know there are more soulmates out there for me, but I'd much rather her. Haha. if anything this experience has made me realize that I love her even more than I thought.

Sorry it's so long, but if you have any time, you have no idea how much I would appreciate any advice. I just don't want to run out of time if there's anything else I should be doing or if I should just let this run it's course.

~Hopeful

Sj;** 20 months ago

Hii!!!!

I read ur articles but sometimes i feel soo wrong i already did sumthin wrong by calling him and. Texting him but all i am confused of if he suddenly said to me dont talk to md but without a reason

Rose 20 months ago

Hello,

I need some help/advice. My husband and I have been seperated for 5 months. We now live in two different states and he refuses to speak to me. The last I heard is that he is filing for divorce, soon! What can I do to save our marriage?

Unfortunatley, I've made the mistakes of contacting him in hopes of saving our marriage, but he has been cold hearted and harsh and persistant about ending our marriage. I think there might be someone else.

I'm not sure what to do, but would love some advice and some help on how to save our marriage.

Thank you,

Rose

misha 19 months ago

my case is completely diff.we r in a relation since last 7 years but after we got admitted in diffrnt colleges he started feelin insecure. i tried my best to explain him dat it doesnt matter.i love him truly.but he never understood me nd nw since past 2-3 months he doesnt want to call me or meet me.i cry,i beg but he said that m nw a burden on him.i think he needs space.he is very much influenced by the people.thats why he has changed a lot not only for me but his family and for his old friends also.i cant live without him n its very difficult for me to live like this. i try a lot not to talk with him but i cant control myself.i know he loves me but why doesnt he understand my feelings. m very possesive also.i know its not gud for a relation. plz suggest me something on this also..

anewor 19 months ago

hi,

i really need help. what can i do to bring the person i like back. i know its a stupid thing but i really have a feelings with him. we just known each other for 4 mos. now. We dated and go out for two months. and after things change and he said we're finish and said no chemistry. he did told me before that he love me then after i found out that he's chatting another girl 3 days before we broke up. i found out with a source. i kept it in myself. he never knows. but the problem and i know its not right after break up to call him and text him a lot but for two months that we parted thats what am doing. on the first month that we parted he met me in a coffee shop to take his things from me. we talk like as if nothing happens.. he even calls me and talk to me sometime when i ask him.. but at this time he told me i will not call him, text him or email him. but i keep on asking why.. honestly i ask my self why i feel like this,, it is because he make me feel love again after my last relationship and even i dated man before him he is the only one who make me feel like this. i even talk to him that we can stay friends if he wants coz i dont wanna loose happy memories.. and my last sort which i did this week is to tell him that i will not ask for anything just for us to be okay and that we are in good terms coz i keep annoying him and i ask him if he dont want to keep me as a friend just to tell me he's not upset with me its fine and i will let him go. he just told me stop texting him. i ask him if we are okay he said just stop. i dont know he never clear things out.

MacKenzie 19 months ago

heyy(:,

ok well im having a relationship problemm,, i may not be an older adult like all of the other women asking yhu for help,, but i REALY need your advice.. i have this guy who i dated all last year and half of the summer,, he was so sweet and nice and things just changed from there.. im not the type of girl who likes the whole touchy touchy stuff or making out,, ive nevr really done it before,, but he has and we dated for a while and he would tell me things like he was falling for me and i shouldve known it was a lie.. i dont know what happened i mean ok,, well he would always come over and we would watch movies and hangout and he wanted to makeout so i did. thenn we wanted to do something else..( not all what your thinking) just something that im scared to share.. and evr since that he treated me different and went and told all his friends and it just got aroundd, i was getting a bad reputation when i started out as the good girll.:( i regret it evryday,, evrything because when we brokeup the first time he just didnt want to go out anymore,, is what he said,, and then the last time i broke up with him because he just treated me like crap and i didnt wanna take it, i wanted him to learn a lesson but he had moved on and went out with my best friend,, who is now not my friend.. and that next day i had heard they madeout,, and then another time we got back together, we brokeup then he did something with my other best friend, which we r still friends just not buddies.. but today she had told me he told her we wanted to "do" something with her. im dating somebody else now but i still have strongly feelings for him.. and i thought dating some would make him jealouse,, but i dont know if its working,, ive only been dating this new guy for maybe three or four days,, and i already am tired of him.. i just want him back but another problem, is my mom HATES him, because he tells evry1 lies and talks crap, but i just want to go back to the way we was beforee, he flirts with alot of girls but not when hes dating you, i just dont know what to doo i just REALLY need your help,,, please right me back as soon as possible,

thanks

,K

Ellie 19 months ago

I met this boy on holiday and we spent 2 weeks together I really like him and he likes me to but he said he will never go out with me cos he lives in Newcastle and I live in Kent I was wondering if there was a way he could possibly decide to go out with me I spoke to him constantly for a year after we got of holiday and we used to phone each other everyday but the day I finally plucked up the courage to tell him how I felt he told me he got a girlfriend that day I was heartbroken and I completely stopped the communications between us then another year went by and one evening I was checking my facebook I got a friend request from a boy telling me i looked like someone he met on holiday I immediately added him and fell in love with him all over again I rang him about 3 months ago at school and I went really shy my friends where crouding round me trying to hear his accent he is a year older than me but we both know how we feel about each other is there anything I could do at all to make him feel differently??

nikki 19 months ago

hi there i was with a bloke for tow yrears and i am in a current relatship at the mo i have been for 7 yrs now but over the past few weeks i cant stop think about my x i have tryed to call him but he dont want to talk to me please help me i dont know what to do

megan 19 months ago

hey, umm i have a big problem ok so me and my ex started getting into these hugee fights because my friend victor liked me and my friend victor was soo nice to me and i mean yeah me and my ex fighted but in the end we loved eaachother alot,!!and so when my boyfriend broke up with me i decided to give my friend a chance and now whenever were around eachother it's very weird and akward,, because we were like bestfriends before and now were togetherr as a couple and it weird and me and my ex have only been broken up for a while and i mean i dont want to break my bestfriends heart and dump him because i dont want to be mean but im inlove with my ex and its confusing because i heard he likes this other girl which really hurts ehh i need help,!!

ifedup 19 months ago

Hi, I wanted your advice, I was with this guy and I fell in love with him, too quick and too easily. One day, his ex best friend sent me a message, and we were talking. He told me that my boy had cheated on me, with a girl he'd been with for over a year, and I confronted him about it. He got really mad at me for even talking to that guy, and now he won't even talk to me, in fact he blocked me everywhere, simply because I tried to explain the situation to him. It hurts so bad, because I have no idea what to do and no one to talk to about it, because all my friends think I'm wasting my time. I can see myself marrying this guy, spending the rest of my life with him, but he told me we were done forever. Is there anyway to reverse this?

Angel 19 months ago

i have a problem... my ex boyfriend broke up with me because of me being stupid cheated on him behind his back and he found out....he decided to leave me and he did...right now he has a new girl but he said he is not serious with her but i found out that he is with her now....i really want him back badly...what should i do in a situation like this???please help me!!!

capricorngirl 19 months ago

I met this guy and we were crazy for each other from day one. We were inseparable. He texted me almost every ten minutes! The calls and texts were innumerable during the first two weeks until he convinced me to go out with him on a date. We did go on the date and it was fireworks from the first second we met.

The relationship evolved pretty fast and six months later I was still texting him on a daily basis and he would text back once or twice a day... our sexual relationship dwindled to once a month and he couldnt stay overnight.

On the six, seventh and eight month, I continued my routine of texting him every day with my regular good morning sweety... and he continued his once or twice text. On a couple of occasions I expressed discontent on the amount of time he was communicating and he would assured me that there was nothing wrong that he was just too busy with work. He also lived almost and hour and half away from me....but willingness to travel from my part was not a problem. At this point in the relationship he texted that he was looking forward to spending vacation time with me.

I also asked him throughout our relationship if we were ok? He always said yes and not to be silly.

He never allowed me to go to his apartment and we always met at at hotel. We are not kids but grown adults over thirty. I dont understand the secrets. I have always been honest and truthful with him. On the tenth month of our relationship, I went to see him. He was performing on a show and according to him I made the mistake of going to see him without being invited. He was furious and did not speak to me that night. The next day when I texted him and he replied that I was an out of control staker and he did not want to text me anymore.

I am torn to pieces. It was cold shower over my head. I am in shock. I really love this guy. I have no idea why in one second he has turned against me. I tried to speak to him after a month and he repeated the same thing. Have I hurt him so badly? Have I been a fool?

I love him.

carol 19 months ago

my bf and i recently are going through a break up..on myspace he still has married status and my pictures..but took me off his top..he is also (well i think) trying to get me jeleous...i would like to say i shouldnt call him but we jus had a baby..he thoughti was too needy but at my defense i was going through a though time being a new young mom...and he is fighting the depression of losing his mom a month before we had the baby..idk what to do..because yes i should call him about the baby but i want him to see her and help him with the loss of his mother...HELP

Jaicee 19 months ago

Hey Essy my bf just dumped me. I am 15 and have a little girl with him she is 11 months her name is Jailyyn. Jake said, "I don't have the same feelings I that I used to." I asked how we would raise Jailyyn. He saud we will work something out. HELP! What am I supposed to do?!

Angel 19 months ago

i have a problem... my ex boyfriend broke up with me because of me being stupid cheated on him behind his back and he found out....he decided to leave me and he did...right now he has a new girl but he said he is not serious with her but i found out that he is with her now....i really want him back badly...what should i do in a situation like this???please help me!!!

Sayrah  19 months ago

i met dis guy on facebook, and we dated for six month and i to him dat we should quit, and he said okay.

i broke up with him is because we are age mate, and now his now dating a lady who is 2years older than him so i felt jealous and want him back cos i always missed him but i later beg him that we should come back, but he said no that the love is no more there, that the now have a new girl friend, so i don't know what to do, cos i thinks i should beg him or forget about him cos he doesn't care about me anymore. but i still love him

brookelyn  19 months ago

i need help.. me and my ex jake broke up about 3 months ago, and are just now becoming friends. i dont act like anything bothers me but it really does! we were together for a year.. now he has a girlfriend but idk if they'll stay together so therefore i need help on winning him back! IF he didn't still care he wouldnt talk to me right? or even want to be friends? well, i hope you can help.

thanks, brooke .

Chelsea 19 months ago

Hi Essy.

My boyfriend just broke up with me, the reasons: 1st he said that he doesn't see a 1% chance at loving me. Which is so horrible, cause I love him to death and I am not anywhere close to being like his exes, they all cheated on him and lied to him (he is a very nice and good man) I have not lied to him once, not even a little white lie and could never think of cheating on him. But he loved one of them and they went out for 2 yrs even though she was a liar. But he said he can't continue a relationship where he can't fall in love with a girl... we have only been going out a couple of mnths I don't see how he can come to that conclusion in a couple mnths or less time. And as an after thought when I started to get mad at him on phone he said that I wasn't feminine enough... um I am pretty girly, not so girly that I'm prissy but I'm no where near a guy. :( His mom told me to ignore that cause he didn't mean it. Now the reason we broke up is my fault. I know this. I push people away, mostly relationships, because I am afraid to get hurt and in the end I end up sabotaging the relationship. When I was a child I was emotionally and sexually abused, and I know now that thatis why I push men away. And Ali, (my ex) is the 1st guy that I chose to ignore my flight instincts, I still had trouble with this obviously but I tried and I know I was being kinda lazy about what I had to change and taking my time when I shouldn't have been, it was too much time, :/ But he said that is the other part of the reason we broke up. I think he can't love me or whatnot because he doesn't know all of me, and what I can really be. I just want my last chance to show him and if he still feels like he can't love me then I will let him go cause it's not meant to be. But he is the 1st guy where I can completely be my goofy self, I can say gross and weird funny things to him that I do with my friends, I've never been able to be like that with a guy before. I waited 3 days to talk to him and we were talking for 3 days then one day I didn't text him to til like 8 which we never do that. we text earlier in the day, and he said he was having a bad day and would barley talok to me and now today I tried talking to him and actually asked for his help with something that he could just say over the phone but he hasn't answered. Oh and when we broke up he was really stressed out at work cause he had two jobs and would be working over 16 hrs long. :/

Aria27 19 months ago

hello everyone! almost 3 weeks ago my boyfriend said he needed space and time away fromme because he is unsure of his feelings for me. we hv been together a year and 5 months. we both recently started university and i feel as though the freedom and urges to do whatever he feels like is causing this. i really miss him and i want him back!!!! i see him around now and then, but he gets a ride home with me on evenings. i really want him bk. im confused hurt and most of all scared. i dont understand how u can lose feelings for someone after soo long. he says he needs space ebcause of my smothering and is now unsure of if he wants a relationship with me or not. some days are harder than some but i know at the end of it i want him back! im afraid that the time and space he wants from me will cause his feelings to go away even further and not actually help him to regain his feelings. im soo afraid of him not comming back. i spoke t him yestrdy n he said to me i shud move on cuz he is not sure if those feelings wud ever come back! its so unfair to me! i miss him so much. can you help me!!

TL 19 months ago

Hi Essy,

I think a lot of these stories that these ladies have shared are very similar to my situation but I feel like I have a couple of things that are different and was wondering if my approach should be different or should stay the same as you've said.

Ok, so first of all, Taylor(18) and I(19) are kind of young but we have been together since sophomore year, so for 2.5 years. About 2 weeks ago he said he wanted "a break" to take time to "figure himself out." I didn't want it, but I told him ok.

Second of all, he has been texting me ever since the day of we went on break. He is talking to girls that we've had trouble with in the past and still talking to me too. I'm really confused. I usually don't initiate the conversations, but he texts me at least once a day. Does this mean he misses me? He tells me he wants to get back with me, but he just needs some time. Plus, he says he doesn't want to date other girls, yet he is talking to them like crazy, in addition to me.

I want him to come back to me. I love him with everything I have. I'm an independent young woman who can do anything alone, so please don't mistake me for being a young naive girl if i've come across that way. I just really feel he and I are meant to be.

How do I go about this if he is the one texting me all the time? Do I still ignore him? I want him to miss me, which I figure he won't do if I respond to his texts everyday, because in a sense it would give him the sensation of having me with him but him being able to do whatever he wants, which would just longer delay him and I getting back togeth. I just don't know how to go about this. And does our age have anything to do with it?

I greatly appreciate your wonderful advice.

You seem to know it all.

Again, Thank you.

TL

Joana 19 months ago

Hi Essy, thanks for the article. I'll give it a shot since I think the guy I lost is absolutely perfect. It'll be hard though. He texts me everyday (I never initiate it) I don't want to ignore his texts, but should I? I never let him know how miserable I am. I've been rock climbing, working out a lot, running, and finishing up my undergrad studies. However, I still think about him constantly (even when I sleep, it's ridiculous!). Anyways, thanks a lot. I hope this works. *fingers crossed*

Lisa 19 months ago

Hi,

My boyfriend and i recently broke up about 3-4 weeks ago. i love him with all my heart and we were together for 2+ years. we have a baby together and there isnt anything i wouldnt do to get him back. I broke up with him because we would always fight about stupid things, dishes, him being inconsiderate, and i didnt realize that i pretty much drove him to do the things i hated. well anyways, i have been doing all the wrong things to get him back, and on top of that i found out he had sez with a girl twice! now u can only imagine how i feel at this point. so i have nothing left to do but take your advice and try it out. i knew all along that me "stalking" him was a mistake, i just could not help myself.

flynnie 19 months ago

Hello,

I need some advice.

Me and my ex-boyfriend broke up a year ago, and we haven't been in contact for a year and now hes like trying to give me mixed signals/showing signs that he wants me back. My friends always watch his moves to see if hes trying to win my attention like before. We're like the same age kinda, but anyways, at school he always stares at me like before he asked me out, walks the opposite way so when we see eachother he would look at me, knows where I'm at .. at times and so on.

What should I do? When we broke up he told me it was the last time we talked so thats how we lost contact. What would be your best advice?

Thanks :)

Nicola 19 months ago

Me and my boyfriend have been together for three years now , over the summer he spent alot of time with the boys which i accepted as he was moving to uni and his friends where goin to different unis. When he moved into uni i went on holiday for a week , he was constantly texting and ringing me saying how much he missed me , cudnt wait to see me , how much he loved me and cuddle and kiss me. The day i came back we had a argument and stubborely and regrettly i ignored him for five days , all through them five days he was consitantly texting, ringing and beggin for me to see him . He didnt get in contact for two days and i thought to myself im gnna push him away and loose him if i carry on so i took him back and went to see him. when i went to see him , he didnt seem happy to see me , he didnt compliment me or anything. i stayed at his that night and we had sex but he wouldnt touch me it was me always cuddling him or kissing him or telling him i loved him first and hed say it back. the next day we went snowboarding and whilst i spent time falling on my bum he was having a ball so we didnt really spend time then. later on in the night he stayed in my house but because he wasnt well he crashed out and i didnt fuss over him . wen i turned the light of he turned round and kissed me on head and cuddled me all night .

the next day i asked him through text if anything was bothering him and he replied that he didnt feel the same about us anymore he felt we drifted apart and he still loved me very much but he couldnt do it no more.

do the next day i drove to his uni to see him, i told him that if he got out the car without giving us a chance i would book a flight to austrillia and never come back . he told me that he felt we drifted apart, that he was fed up of the arguments because we always end up in the same situation and i ignore him for days and he couldnt cope with the stress, he hated the way as soon as anything happened i put something on my facebook and its embarassing because we have our family on there, he said he hated the way i new so much about him and the way he felt he was being watched all the time . hes never told me how he feels before so insted of telling me and saying nic this is how im feeling lets work around it, he just gave up on us. All the things he said can be changed and worked on , ino we have drifted apart but we havent spent much time together and if we did that then the other problems could improve aswell. but after me saying that he would never see me again he told me he loved me so much but he cnt do it no more , so when i told him to get out of the car, he said he didnt want to. when he eventually got out of the car and i drove home , he put on his facebook "instantly regretted that" but once his mum commented it he delected it .from then on ive done nothing but beg as its torturing me to not have him around . one day i asked if i could ring him later and he replied yes . i spend all day thinking of things to talk about apart from us and build up the courage but he never answered. when i didnt text all day till evening he changed his facebook password and changed it to single (which confuses me when he told me he didnt like people knowing his business so why let everyone no your single) when i went on one of his room mates pictures , there was group pictures and on every picture this girl was around him and then i came across single pictures of him and her and one of them holding hands , so i texted him furiously kicking of and he was texting me saying shes just a girl from upstairs in his accomadtion and nothing happened and theres nothing there atall so wen i rang screaming and shouting the fone went off and he rung back asking why i put the phone down, when i sed i didnt we started talk well i started talking, asking how uni and that was he seem very happy , he told me he didnt kiss her or like her and if she was to kiss him wen she was drunk he wouldnt kiss her back as she was just a girl from upstairs . i asked him if it hurt he replied yes, i asked him if he loved me he said yes , i asked if he missed me he said yes, i asked him does he love me enough not to let me go and he replied "i think so , i do still love you nic" , i asked what was making this so easy for him , he said" being here i suppose, getting drunk and learning new things in uni takes my mind of things"so i started telling him how much the pain hurts the fact that i feel so suidical because i was finding ways to thinking about another pain. i started talking about little things we use to do like play fight, have little names for each other , talk about wat we like together and he started crying saying he cnt listen to it and eventually he put the phone down . today i texted him asking if i could ring about something about my iphone , i rang no answer he then rang back saying he was in the shower and we only spoke about the phone . i texted him after the phone call saying "i love u , have a nice meal and day. im sorry for harrassing u. ill try and stop now and leave u alone. sometimes i feel better telling u how much i love and miss you.

and now im asking u for ur advice. i just want him back ino if we spent time together we would be happy , i asked if i cud see him through the week he said maybe wen i asked why maybe he said because he didnt want to let me down , he thinks its going to be awkward but weve been together for three years it shouldnt be awkward if he doesnt make it awkward. i dont want to push him away. i feel if i ignore him it will make it easier for him , and the time ive spent ignoring him , could of been time i could of spent tring to get him back.

i dont get how he can just give up on us without giving us a chance. i take his word on this girl because he would be honest with me if it was another girl and i know how difficult it was for me and him to get together never mind him and some stranger. everything we do is different from another couple so ino hed find it very difficult.

i dno what to do , im sick of playing game i just want to be happy with him .

help ?

neda  19 months ago

hi i broke up with mi boyfirend in august and it was fr no reason he stopped talking and tought we should just wait fr a bit but i gt hyper and annoyed him but then i tried srting evything out but at that time he told me to find som1 else i was very sad and cried alot and sent him alot of messged showing mi sad side which i shudnt have done then i called him up too he replied me afdtr long and siad nothing positive i stil want him back but i think mi case is out of handss i really want him back please help mee u wud be like god too me if you could help me get mi bf back thank youe

Brook 19 months ago

I was going out with this guy last year right before summer I broke up with him after one day. Idk why I did. I told him i was so sorry but I think now he hates me. how do i make him like me again?

Thanks

Tia 19 months ago

Just last week my boyfriend of 11 months broke up with me ONE day after our 11 month anniversary thing. A few weeks before that he told me he was doubting us and didnt feel the same about our relationship. I really loved him and when he told me that, i was devastated, and i didnt know what to do. I texted him telling him how much i missed him and wanted him back. And all he said was "k" or "i see." It really pissed me off. But i have hope. He also told me he would love me more than anyone he ever dated, i could really tell he wasn't lieing or trying to make me feel better, he really ment it. My EX boyfriend also said our relationship got boring because we always talked about the same things and do the same things over and over again. Well its not my fault we live in a ghostown. Also on the 25th of September he had a party celebrating his birthday, and he had a bunch of his guy friends come over, and i also am very close to them. But at his party we were really close, and laughing, smiling, and i felt like I was on top of the world. I actually felt like everything was going to be alright between us, but I was wrong. But im going to try real hard and follow these rules to win him back. He's in for a real treat.!

Claudia 19 months ago

My ex-boyfriend and I broke up about 3 weeks ago. We dated for 8 months and were friends before that. We never had a fight. Everything seemed to be going along smoothly until my friend was rude to him one night (she never liked him and always made fun of him) and this time he became really upset about it. The next day, he told me that he felt like it was "the end". I didn't understand; I thought everything was fine. I asked him why he wanted to break up with me and he said he had changed. I asked him how he had changed and he said he didn't know. I wanted a better reason. He said his schedule was too full and he would wait until after football season to have a relationship again. He said we could be close friends but he didn't want to date me.

I played it cool for the first day and pretended to be his friend. The second day, I unleashed all my misery on him, telling him that I wanted him back. He said he didn't love me anymore. I remembered him telling me about his new friend who was a girl a few weeks before. I wondered if he was really leaving me for her.

I took some advice from my friend and completely ignored him. He noticed and asked why I wasn't talking to him, and I said that I needed some space. Actually, I couldn't handle the space. Within a few days, I snapped. I proceeded to tell him again how I felt and that I wanted him back. I was verging on desperate.

I tried to gain back my cool by not talking to him, but being polite and friendly if he talked to me. My friend told me that he would want me back if I deleted him from Facebook, where we spend much of our time talking.

After deleting him, he emailed me and told me that he thought it was very immature. My friend then told me that he was going to ask me to homecoming before I deleted him. I added him as my friend again and apologized to him. He didn't ask me to homecoming.

Everyone in school is telling me how cute we were, how they think he still has a crush on me, and that we should get back together.

I'm trying to be his friend now, in hopes of working my way back up to girlfriend. Maybe he really just doesn't want me anymore. Or he's got a crush on his other friend. I don't know.

Nesi_Bugg 19 months ago

SO my boyfriend dumped me a few days ago, we had been dating for 9 months before then.The reason being was because i was talking to another guy on the phone (whom i had only called twice) and told him I needed some time to sort out my feelings. Later that night, I called him, he came over. I told him I loved him and that I was so stupid and should have never even had second thoughts. He said he was still hurt and needed some more time. He kissed me and told me he was sorry.

I didnt hear from him for like 3 days, then he all of a sudden came over. I stopped what i was doing and he took my hand. We went and sat outside and he told me that this had to be it. I told him i was sorry and that I could change. He wasn't even willing to work on it. He told me he loved me and thats why he had to let me go. He kissed me one last time and walked away. He left my stuff on the front porch in a garbage bag.

I havent talked to him for 3 days now, and am just wondering if its worth waiting for him to come back around (after he cools off), or should I just start moving on with my life? I will not call him until i know for sure that I have a chance...maybe a month, maybe more...but Im wlling to wait, and im very understanding. I know i love him and thats why im like this....will he come back?

Michaela 19 months ago

heey,

a year ago this guy that I had liked for a while started talking to me and we started hanging out and then about a month after he told me he was getting back together with his ex so we stopped hanging out, we still talked on facebook every once in a while though.

I met this other guy about 4 months after and we started hanging out and then eventually started dating, we were together for about 6 months and the relationship was going really great, he had cheated on me the first month we were dating but I had forgave him and he didnt do it agin.

the guy that had gotten back together with his ex broke up with her and told me he wanted to get back together with me so we made plans to go to an upcoming festival together but my boyfriend at the time didnt know.

I broke up with my boyfriend the day before the festival and he took it pretty good, me and this guy started dating and weve been together for about 2 months and were etremely happy.

I had realized about a month ago that my ex cheating on me wasnt right and that I shouldnt have let him get away with it and a few of my friends pointed out to me that he was just usin me for certain things so i had decided that I was gonna make him jelous and want me back and then just turn him down.

he talks to me about everyday on facebook, we live in a small town so we see each other all the time so we still talk, he has told me he missed me once but I dont think he really did so I jsut wanted to know a way that i could make him really miss me?

victoria 19 months ago

hi me and my bf hve been together 2 years we have been through hell and back and built our relationship from the ground up he was supposed to be just a one nightstand for both of us but didnt happen like that we fell in love have been homeless twice and then a year ago got our appartment and made a future for ourselves well kinda. we always gt in to stupid little fight over retarted things he had abused me many times in the relationship both physically and mentally and i still loved him and wanted to be with him we got in to THE fight on saturday night at my work i threw my keys at is precious car and he flipped out got out of the car and started to shove me and kick me a guy came out and said he needed to back off he then left and when i got off work and went home he had pack all his clothes i tried talking to him and he said he can not be with me till i change. i dont even know what i need to change he still tells me he loves me but i dont know what to do im lost and losing my mind can you help?

victoria-

Shannon 19 months ago

hey there

me and my boyfriend recently broke up we were together 2 months and he dumped me because apparently everyone else was getting involded in our relationship. Soon after i found out he had feelings for this other girl but still had feelings for me. I made the wrong mistake and asked him back out and tryed sorting it out with him which didnt work i need some servious help got any ideas how i can get him back ?

Ginny 19 months ago

Hi Essy,

I just wanted a little advice on a guy. We were never officially together but we were always hanging out and we hooked up a lot. When we were with other people he would hold my hand, or be all over me. After he got out of night school I would go over to his house after he practically begged me to come. I gave him my virginity finally one night after about a month. My friends, who were also his friends, told me that he wasn't hooking up with anyone else, but that he was a major player. I didn't listen. School started and I had to go back off to college. We only got to see each other on the weekends then, and sometimes not at all. I was obsessed, and always thinking about him. I finally fessed up my feelings one night and he said he thought a relationship would not be a good idea and that maybe we could still have fun when I was down from school. Ever since then I have tried not to communicate with him at all, and only seen him twice. I've tried acting like I'm not hurt, but inside I'm screaming. I think about him all day, even dream about him. What can I do to get him back for real this time? Or should I just let him go and try to move on? Thanks for any advice.

cindy 19 months ago

Hi,

I really want your help. You see my boyfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago. At that time I agreed on the break up and I have done everything that you supposed to. He even thinks that I have moved on and that I am happy. But the truth is I missed him so much and I realized how much I love him. But today he have started to send me a text message a lot. What to do, the text are friendly and cute. What is he trying to do? Should I respond?

Please help me, I am so confused!!!

Thanks

Carly 19 months ago

Hi Rosie,

I know you are busy and don't have time to respond but maybe you could give me some kind of quick tips. I've become desperate at this point. My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me in May out of nowhere, saying that he was unsure of what he wanted even though he loved me; he was just confused. I gave him his space but I definitely have broken all of your rules. I actually sent his sister a text message last week because I tried calling him and his phone service was off. I love him and I need to be with him. We've know each other since we were kids and were 25 now. We're also long distance so I know that had to do with it but I will do whatever it takes. Really. Thanks Rosie

Carly 19 months ago

I know that your name is Essy. I have no idea why I put Rosie. lol. I must be going crazy now.

v 19 months ago

hey i have been with my x three years and i have learned everything u wrote already. its crazy what a girl can learn from boys being dumbbb lol i knew allll that but it was good to see it works lol

luvi 19 months ago

PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME...I AM DYING OF THIS PAIN..

MY STORY IS LITTLE WEIRED AS I HAVE READ ALL THE ABOVE STORIES.

there was a guy whom i met 10 months ago...we met on social networking site and also he was senior of my college..when we started he was already in pain as his ex dumped him..i beacme a pain reliver for him we chat n talk till 4 in the morning n eventually he proposed me n i said yes..we started in long distance but after 3 months i shifted to his city for my internship..n all the meetings n all began..that was the best time for me..things were going very very good..he took me to meet his parents..n i went to vist a place with his family..his mom likes me..but all this while like all other couples we used to fight like cat n dogs n to evry of our fight he demanded break up..to which i appologized n things became normal again

n now there was the time when he went to states for 3 months..first two months went ok where we had small fights n suddenly small fights become big ones...i know that was my fault because the issues mainly were calling less..not giving the time etc etc..

n thn suddenly on one small fight he broke up saying we are not compatible..

not its been one and half month i am crying begging..n sometimes cursing him..but he s stubborn..i did everything i can i waited for him to get back from states n as now hes back to town but he s again not ready for the relationship..

i talked to his mon..everybody insited him but he is like no..

then suddenly one evening i called him n he talked nicely..he said all he can do is being friends n i said ok..

n one evening again co-incidently we met..where we hugged each other had a nice conversation n i assured him that i have changed n wont ever fight with him..but he dont want a relationship all is what he wanna b friend..N ONE THING M SURE HE IS IN NO OTHER RELATION WITH ANY OTHER GIRL

i tried being his friend for like 7 days n behaved really nice with him..but it was like a slow poison to me..

i was inside n inside dying..n finally asked himagain for realtionship..he said no n last night he broke all his contacts..n now we are no more in relationship...

WHAT SHOULD I DO

????

PLEASE HELP ME...I LOVE HIM REALLY

Jess 19 months ago

Hey Rosie Your a life saver, thank you so much. No-homo but I love you. For real I'm so ready to get my boyfriend back. Thak you so so so so so much. I wish you a wonderful life. I was also wondering if you were going to write an article about how to get your boyfriend back if he hasn't physically left yet. Like how to make him interested in you again. or tale tale signs etc..

help 19 months ago

Do you really get our emails or is this all just standard stuff? either way I thought Id write. I'm having a mare I've been with my partner for 4 years we have a beautiful home together and two dogs, we fight a lot but that's what keeps us passionate, 3 weeks ago he wanted to know if we shared the same future as he is turning 35 in January and I'm 30. I've never really wanted marriage or children and he has always known that but now he says its important we both want the same. I went away for a week to give him some space he txt me a lot to see I was ok, I came back and told him how nearly losing him has made me realise that of course I want to marry him and have his babies, its just something weave never spoke about. He's basically said its to late and thinks I'm only saying these things to keep him, But I'm generally not I actually do mean it, He's also said that our fights have warn him out over the years and he just doesn't want to be with me any more as he doesn't see us developing any more as a couple. He says he loves me and always will, he says he really fancy's me still, we have very good sex, we make each other laugh he's gutted it hasn't worked and I'm like but your choosing to give up and he says he knows and he thinks he may regret it but he wants to sell the house and leave. I'm so confused I know he loves me deeply I can feel it and I feel that he is holding on to a lot of anger which he has stored up over the years, our fights where never that bad just like a normal couple fight. I cant eat, sleep and I'm going mad cause we still live together. I gave him time out for a week and when I've asked him for the same he says no. I've not got all needy on him or anything but I've made it very clear that I'm not happy with his dissection yet I accept it, I've been keeping myself busy and strong but that just seems to make him angry, I feel like his just playing mind games!! I've asked him to go to couples therapy which he laughed at and said there wasn't anything wrong with him I've asked him if there's someone else to which he said no I believe him and we work for the same company so I would find out...if we do break up I not only lose him I lose my home my dog and will have to relocate as I moved away from my friends to be with him when we first got together and leave my job as we work for the same company and I wouldn't want to hear rumours about him...what should I do help!

Emily 19 months ago

Dear Essy,

About 3 months ago my boyfriend of a little over 9 months broke up with me because he felt that we had been drifting apart. A little over a week later he came back to me saying he regretted it and that he still loved me. Than about 4 days later he decided that we should just be friends. I made all the wrong moves in trying to get him back. After reading your article, I actually believe I can do all that you adviced. But my question is, after being apart for 3 months and after already doing the wrong things, do I have a chance of getting him back?!

marisa 19 months ago

what happens when the guys cheating on me or using me for his own game.he says hes not but my friends said he is and one of my friends used to date him and he past a note to her telling her that hes cheating on her but he says he was LYINGto her.WHAT DO I DO?

Emma Freestone 19 months ago

Heyy!!

I broke up with my boyfriend like 3 weeks ago and he is going out with another girl and says he luvs her and I haven't been talking too him much but what du I du I really like him and I think his that guy I will *ALWAYS!* have feelings for!! xoxo thx for your tips and I know this is just more too put on your plate sorry for that but I NEED your help!! xoxo

XxCrystalXx 19 months ago

Hey, My boyfriend broke up with me like a couple weeks ago, and he's about to go out with another girl that he claims he likes alot...But then he tells me he still loves me all the time, I'm kinda tired of this so called love game, ive been thinking should i just let him go or not? But i really love him he makes me the happiest person in the world but im not sure if he really cares for me anymore it's hard to tell cause he talks to me for like 2 hours then he will ignore me for a couple days it's really confusing....what should i do?

i still miss my ex 19 months ago

when me and my ex split up i felt like my live had ended and cried myself to sleep the next day i couldnt face seeing him at school and all he kept doing was getting me down and every time i picked myself up he put me down again and we have been split for 6 months now and still i cant face him propley my stomach also goes when i see him but i do want him back but i know he wont take me back what shall i do

Brooke 19 months ago

My friend Christian told me that in 8th grade he liked me. But that was 3 years ago i told him and now he says :" Brooke you dont even try to talk to me your always over with Jolie" And i felt really mad! I told him " Maybe i dont always want to talk to you maybe i feel like you hate me" he said " be more like isabela she always talks to me ( Isabela is the stuck up brat that treats me like carp) I was thinking to my self at the moment that he sent me that message his signicture was I LOVE ISABELA And then Isabela texted me and her signicture was I LOVE CHRISTIAN and I was on FIRE she doesnt even like him she is just trying to get him to like her ( which i kno he does) so that i cant have him

and i dont kno wat 2 do help me!!!!

Rose 19 months ago

Hello, me and my ex boyfriend where together for a year and we broke up and i moved away for 2 years and came back and we got together agian. And me BEING STUPID broke up with him thru text and 5 hours later begged for him back realizing i did wrong.He ignored me for 2 days and i wrote him agian he was mad at me but willing to forgive me and meet up. he stood me up and complety ignored me i waited 5 days and wrote him wondering why did he do that he ignored me so i sent him a text saying i would leave him alone and sum one would want me for me and i ignored him for almost 10 days no response DID I DO WRONG?? HELP ME!!

edc86 19 months ago

hi I want to get back together with my sons father. He is currently in a relationship and so am I, but I never lost any feeling for him. I miss him like crazy. We got back together when my son was 1 (hes now 3) and he left because he felt that I shouldn't take care of him any more (he didn't have a job @ the time and I did) so he left. A few months later he got a new g/f they are now broke up and the person hes with now they have been together for a year. I've only dated 3 men since him and no one makes me feel the way i did when i was with him. The last time i talked to him we got into a big argument about our son, and haven't talked/seen each other since. I miss him allot. help!!!!!!

Aimee 19 months ago

Hello,

My ex boyfriend broke up with me around 7 months ago.. Hes just got back in touch. I wasnt fussed as i has moved on and i had fallen out of love with him. We spent an evening together last week just watching a film and cuddling up ! It reminded me of old times, the next day i saw his mother in town and she said to me 'I Knew this day would come ! Hes regretted everything and trust me he still loves you' this came to a bit of a shock to me.. Now i cant get him out of my head ?!?! Ive decided am going to play it cool and if he wants me back hes going to have to make an effort but.. Now hes playing it cool ?!?! What do i do please help me !!!! :(

M589 19 months ago

I found this article really interesting to read, in fact, I wish I would have read it sooner. My BF finished with me four months ago. I miss him like crazy and I've been super stupid by texting him when I know I shouldn't of.(It DOESN'T WORK trying to contact men, trust me) - I think it's far too late for us to get back together after months of not speaking even though I daydream about it everyday - us randomly meeting and getting talking again, but I guess if it's meant to be then it's meant to be. I set up my own buisness shortly after we split and I'm doing really well with it, it's been good having something to take my mind off all the heartache.

I think it's far too late now to get my ex back and I've done some nasty things to him to hurt his feelings. But it isn't too late for you. Don't give up, if you think he's the right one for you.

I wish every girl who has commented on here the all the luck in the world and hope she gets the man of her dreams back. :)

P.S : No looking at his Facebook page, No texting him, No calls. AND BE NICE, if you want to be someone's lover again, you have to start by being a really good friend.

x

Mandy 19 months ago

hey thanx for the great advice! its amaizing.

i was wondering though, if it would work in my situation: we were never really together, because we met when i was on holiday, so it was kinda a summer romance, but we kept in contact for months after and it was basically like a long distance relationship. then i completely messed it up and we had a fight and i got a boyfriend and we didnt talk for 2 or 3 months.i broke up with my boyfriend. then i broke the rule and i talked to him again, and that same day he got a girlfriend.

its a crazy situation. HELP?!?!?!?!

mellisa 19 months ago

What if you were never officially a couple. We were intamate and moving in the right direction when he started acting weird. He loves to cuddle and all of a sudden it stopped. When I asked him why he said"I just don't think we'll ever be great" I think we can be. He's my soulmate. He's also....my roommate! So it's kind of hard for me to avoid him. Although...it would be easy for him to see me moving on and acting like "the breakup" doesn't affect me. After we often want what we can't have.

Halei 19 months ago

I am going to follow your advice!!

Please wish me luck :)

Nicola 19 months ago

I have a bit of trouble.

I broke up with my ex months and months ago because we didn't talk. I have dreams about him most nights. My best friends told him I still liked him. I wrote a note to vent it out to myself but I accidentally put that in my bag instead of homework and he saw it when it fell out. SO he knows I still like him. I can't really avoid him because I sit near him in most classes and he chats to me. 2 of my other friends don't get along with him and constantly complain about him. I'm scared that I don't have a hope in hell!

Please help!

Richard  19 months ago

This is a general response to this article. If you left the guy then that's another thing. But if he left you, be cautious about trying to get him back. I think the best thing you can do - if you really feel strongly that he is the guy for you - is let him know that you understand his point of view, and his reasons for wanting to leave. He left you because he didn't like something about the relationship dynamic or perhaps how you treated him. Don't try and get him back if you aren't planning on changing those things about yourself that he didn't like. That's not fair. If you really heard his point of view and don't agree with it - if you don't think things were problematic, then go find a new guy and stop haunting the poor fool. He is probably hurting a lot too, more than you would expect, because even though he may have broken up with you he really did want you to be the one. The only way he would really want you back again however is if he could see that you were willing to work on those issues he was not happy with. You are probably a worthwhile woman if you ever even attracted him in the first place. You won't have too much trouble finding another guy, so think about why you want him back and if you are really willing to work through it. If your ex is smart, he will see through any phony promises you make about wanting to work on things, guys are more aware of manipulation than you know, and he wont take you back. If he is weak, he will take you back because he's probably lonely even if he knows you are bluffing. But then you're stuck with a weak minded guy. Do you really want that? You could just find somebody else who grooves better with your heart, mind and soul and have better times together. I agree with this article, but only if the woman is willing to look at why you broke up in the first place. Good luck everybody. We all need help!

Serenity 19 months ago

Well, I broke up with my boyfriend and

it ws a BAD breakup b/c he was so obsessive.And now its been a long time and want him back but he has already moved on. Now he wants this other girl but she broke up with him and he flirts with all the time so its really hard to get over him, WHAT SHOULD I DO!!!!

Serenity 19 months ago

Its me again I just forgot to tell you i went out with my boyfriend for almost a year!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jane 19 months ago

I thought your article was great. I ended up dating someone for two and half months who I was friends with first, and he is also great friends with my best friend (she set us up). Things were AMAZING for the full two and a half months. He was actually the one to pursue me, and I was the one who was reisitant and still had my guard up. Finally I let my guard down and I really began to fall in love. We had a couple "snafus" come up and I was open and honest about how I felt he kind of dropped the ball. He was very apologetic each time. Boom! A week later he's throwing in the towel after a bad night of text messaging that escalated due to the fact that he was out drinking and never called when he said he would. Fine, maybe I overreacted, but to pull the plug without even giving it a shot? When I knew how crazy about me he was? What should I go??

Agustina 19 months ago

"However heartbroken you feel, trust me, your ex boyfriend is not going to want you back if you show him that you are miserable and/or needy"

wish I had read that before! i sent him 3 messages and called him 3 times, at the third he was mad at me cause he was working. I needed him because he had told me the day before that if i felt lonely I could text him. did I screw it up too much? I have a chance to see him tomorrow, and I think I'm not going to see him to see what happens, I know he'll wait for me, he's a bus driver and I take that bus every morning (of course he's not driving it everyday) do you think I still have a chance? please I'm deseperate

DD 19 months ago

How can I handle being friends on FB with a past love interest. He is posting these cute comments.

heartheart 19 months ago

hi I really like your advice. my ex boyfriend and I dated for 2 years but most of this year we've been on and off, a lot of communication problems and trust issues. he's talked to girls behind my back, he's talked to his ex gf behind my back, knowing that I don't like that. in one of our recent breaks, he made out with a girl, yet that same night that he made out with her, he called me telling me that he misses me. the next day he came clean about the make out and told me about it, he told me that he's not interested in her, and that I'd be crazy to think that he would go out with someone like her cause she's got a kid, and he knows the entire story behind her getting pregnant. whatever. we ended up getting back after that happened because I figured that why not get over it? he was single at the time and entitled to do whatever he wants. but at the same time I feel like, why would he kiss someone else if he supposedly has feelings for me? makes no sense. recently, we broke it off again because we don't see it working out and he just wants to be friends. my friends keep telling me that he's most likely seeing someone else since he's always getting back with me, and breaking it off a week later. could that be true? I've asked him and he says that he's not seeing or talking to anyone, that he's just focusing on himself. but that could be a made up excuse :/ we broke up about two weeks ago but I've invited him over and he's invited me over and we just have sex, we don't really talk about our situation, we JUST have sex, and that's not what I want, because as a girl, I want something more serious and I want him to commit to me. we txt daily, he stopped calling though :/ this past weekend, we were hanging out in his room, watching one of our favorite shows, and I saw him going through my phone, through my inbox, sent msgs, and he also went through my call log to see who I've been talking to and I got my phone and asked him "why are you going all crazy looking through my phone?" he then got defensive and told me "how am I going crazy? I'm not going crazy, I'm not interested if that what you think I'm implying" I'm like "no. that's not what I asked though" he's like "well that's my response" 0.o so confusing, I don't understand whether he's interested or not. should I give up on it and just move on? I just don't know anymore. I feel like giving it up already because I know that we're most likely not even supposed to have lasted this long, but I have this huge attachment to him because I don't know any better, he's been my first everything. what do I do? we're pretty much friends with benefits at this point. and I don't want that, I wanna talk to him but what's the point? it seems like our relationship is just broken.

lauren 19 months ago

I finished with my boyfriend 3 days ago and he is the one i love with all my heart. I truly love him. I finished with him because we argued sometimes and we'd say horrible things sometimes when angry which we didnt mean. After i finished with him he tried to get back with me and i was being stubborn and said no. On friday night i went out and got drunk and got attention from other men and kissed one of them which meant absolutely nothing. I felt so bad and told him. Anyway , on saturday I tried to get him back and he now says that he 'needs time to think and get his head clear' why did i do this? and how can i get him back? I've already broken all of the rules unfortunately :( please help me. I love him so much

Scarlet 19 months ago

I should also add that i REALLY like him now and want him back, i dont know why he has such a negative look on relationships, he said it ended badly with his ex but i dont know the details. He said he will be grey by the time he wants a relationship. I told him i felt used and he got angry with me and told me to not contact him and to stop talking crap, It feels like we have nothing left now but i want to be with him so much. I should point out also that a lot of people have said how good i am for him, and he used to say himself how funny, sexy and beautiful he thought i was, people in the street said it to him we didnt even know. We always had such a good laugh, until i brought up anything serious and relationship related, then he would ignore me. I dont think there is any way of me getting him back now?!

trisha 19 months ago

HEY! , uhm , my boyfriend broke up with me, and i havent talked to him for a week now, and hes been asking me to be friends, and i kinda agreed to it but pretending not to care about the breakup.. we make eye contact alot at school but never talkk . what else should i do ? i want him back so bad !,

diana 19 months ago

i just broke up with my boyfriend when he was in jail and now hes in treatment i was so happy with him we barely got togather last month we was messing around for a few years but we couldnt be togather cause we had someone but his gf just cheated on him while he was in jail we started writing eachother and he got out we would spend time with eahother for days and hours we finally made us official till he got locked up again for an old warnt but i made a mistake i cant fix now and i left him for my ex i am like so confused cause im pregnant with his baby and my ex made me feel bad for him so i made a mistake i took him back i realy miss my babys dad he is getting out in a week i dont know what im gonna do i feel pretty messed up what should i do??

kyla 19 months ago

hey.

awhile ago i met this cute guy.

we have a chemistry so strong that we couldnt hold it that when we saw it we were in bed together.

at first it was sex, we both made sure that nothing would go beyond that. i was ok with it because i never thought he was the dating material guy.

but things changed. i started to notice that i liked him more that i should. that i loved him more than anything. that everytime i thought about his smile, my world would just stop.

i know he likes me too, maybe not the in same way i like him, but he feels something special for me.

we had planned a wonderful weekend for us. i could spend the whole weekend at his place.however when we were there, he started acting weird, and wouldnt care what place i choose to eat, what movie to watch.

so i decided to ask him what was going on.

he told me he thinks he has a crush on a girl, that until he figure out his feeling he wouldnt stay with me...two days ago he called me saying we shouldnt be seeing each other again,

i am totally crashed. i feel like my lungs are filled with pain. i have been crying all these day..i cant even eat.

i dont know what to do, but i feel i will die without him. we havent known each other for that long, but the time i spent with him was the time of my life.

i need help.

i need to get him back. i love him.

Kennedie Osbon 19 months ago

hey i was wondering how i would win my guy back cuz we dated last year and he broke up with me for my bff(or so i thought)& cousinS and then he asked me out again this year and i said yes of course cuz he is HOT!!!! and then i brokeup with him cuz i was have family probs & then we went back out last week then 2day he broke up with me 4 no reasoni justneed advice cansome 1 helpme?

ariba khan 19 months ago

hey i just finished reading ur article i lyked...i hope he gets back wid me soon.......

samantha 19 months ago

ok..so me and boyfriend broke becasue he said he is not sure what he wants. and like u said not to do..i started to plead that our love was what he wanted..wrong thing to say i guess. but now he wants to be "friends" .... not what i want of course. but should i be his "friend" and try to make the moves on him? or just be friends and wait till he is ready to see what he wants.. idk but i want him back......now! and im just scared he is gonna find someone else and leave me hopelessly sitting on the couch eating ben and jerrys ice cream..what should i do to get him back really really really fast?

phana 19 months ago

hey! i met my guy august 2009 and that time i diidnt have a boyfriend and i fell in a serious relationship with this guy.after a month he forced me to move in to his house and it was fun i did that and i stayed with him happily loving each other,in a relationship there are alwys fights and we had that too, but most of the tym he was the one who was causing those fights and i kept in forgiving him.so it happened july this year i missed my period and he told me he is not yet ready to have a baby and he suggested for abortion but i didint agree with him ,after the third month everything changed and i realised he had another girlfriend,the guy kicked me out of his house ,and when time changes he said the pregnancy is not his ,i kept on calling him every day bacause i love hime sometimes he answered sometimes he said il break his new relationship and i lived with a brroken heart ,ryt now m four months pregnant but i still love him so much and im living with stress ,and i knw is not good for pregnancy cause it brings some effect to the unborn baby,pliz help how can i get him back ?

mona 19 months ago

i dnt what it is nw i m linked wid my bf bt he stops me 4m dng every thing he dnt like like talking wid my school friends, chatting, going out with my sister or friends he is very possissive. he cares a lot but on the other hand punches my gut everytime by nt allowing me do the stuff i like i love him but can not stay wid out him so i have tried a lot for breakups but it doesnt works i cant stay with out him and i will die if i stay with him.

Shay 19 months ago

Hey, my boyfriend broke up with me a week ago yesterday after only three weeks of dating. I had been crushing on him for about six months before i finally got up the strength to do something about it and flirt with him, after a few dates he finally asked me out and i was ecstatic :D Then, after about two and a half weeks he started acting weird for a few days and i was getting worried, so after a class i have with him we walked out together and talked for a bit before he had to leave, but instead of me getting to ask him what was bothering him he just flat out said it wasn't working and left...i really want him back but i don't even know what went wrong in the first place...i don't know what to do or how to approach this...please help me, i really miss him... :(

Sierra 19 months ago

Heyy,

I just recently got out of my relationship. We only dated for a week but there is something about that boy i cant let go of. What happen was, i thought he was cheating on me so i broke up with him, a couple hours later i found out he wasnt cheating on me, it was just a huge misunderstanding. I tried and tried to beg him back and he said he just wanted to be friends for the moment. its been 2-3 weeks ago now and he still doesnt want back together yet.. he says he just got out of a 2 year relationship and he needs time to think..We still text every day, but i want us back together like we was. I really want things to work out between us.. can you please give me some advice?

Vonnie 19 months ago

Before I read this I was totally doing the wrong things.. i was dating a guy that was in the Air Force. So our relationship was long distance and I was fine with it, it was hard and all but he did live in the same area as me and I knew him back in High School. He recently broke up with me cause he said it's to much pressure from work and long distance and can't be in a relationship anymore. He basically broke up with me without an explanation and I kept calling or trying to contact him to see what's going on. After 2 weeks he finally replied back saying he's sorry and he needs to focus on himself and such things. I was very crushed and still am. After he said that he signed off and I tried calling and texting and he said if I don't stop bothering him he'll not talk to me anymore. It's been 2.5 weeks now and for 3 days I haven't contact him.. I'm hoping some more time he could figure things out and realize.. I don't know any situation with people in the military so if there is any input from anyone please help!!! please! (Situation is more complex than it sounds but just trying to make it simple and short)

lostagain 19 months ago

My "boyfriend" broke up with me almost 10 days ago. We have made such a mess of our lives, I don't even know where to start.

We are both married, he left his wife in March because she found out about us. My husband has not found out about us (yet). I was going to leave my husband, but hadn't yet.

We are in love. The kind of love you read about in books. The last 4+ years have been amazing when we've seen eachother. He lives over 1,000 miles away.

He said he needs a life. We had originally agreed to live apart for the next 7 years because of the ages of our kids. He said he'd be there forever, but the last thing I got from him was (and yes, it was a text), "I'm sorry. I will always care about you and wish you well, but it's over."

He is/was my best friend. I have made the mistakes of leaving messages, emailing, texting and no peep from him. I am devastated.

He is truly the love of my life. How do I get him back? Everything is such a disaster.

Sierra  19 months ago

Hey Essy, Me and my bf broke up after 3 months of dating but within the first week we just had something spark, he was the only guy who made me smile that much. When he first put his arms around me I knew he was the "ONE." I never felt this with any guy. But he started to act weird the last week we were together and one morning I got a call and something in my gut didn't feel right, he told me "we're breaking up.." I cried for a week straight and like 2 months later he called me and told me what he did was a mistake and he should've never done it but he still didn't make his move. Well like 3 weeks ago he called me and told me to break up with the guy I was with and be with him again I thought he was kidding but he wasn't and by the time I found out he wasn't it was too late. My sister had called him about it and he told her when he saw I was with another guy he realized he lost me and after I wouldn't break up with my bf he gave up. We haven't talked since that night and it's killing me because I want him back so badly but he gave up

Jill 19 months ago

Hi my name is jillian and i'm 17 years old. This is my story. A year ago almost exact me and my boyfriend broke up because his dad made him. We had been going out for a little over a year and His dad simply didn't like me so he kicked me out. So anyways we still hung out and acted like a couple for about a month but then my father breached my privacy and read my journal. In my journal I wrote how i had made love to my boyfriend. my dad called his dad and his father banned him from ever seeing me again. ZERO COMMUNICATION. A few days after that big mess went down i called him. He siad on the phone that he felt like i had used, was mean to him and that he didn't feel anything anymore. i was very confused.Our relationship was a very good one. how it started was really casual, I wasn't looking for anything but he persued and in a few months he had really grown on me. I am really cautious about men and have trust issues from seeing my own parents miserable fialings in love, so i made sure that i was't just going to ignorantly fall in love and be one those young dumb teens "blinded" by love. it was six or seven months when i decided that i could say i love you and it was real. i made sure of my desision.

like i said, its been over a year, but i am still absolutely whipped. I've dated around alot and have really tried to distract myself but then i saw him at a football game. I broke down on the spot. since then i have devised a plan to write him. On his 18 birthday in November(so next month...) i'm going to write him explianing to him how I never did any of the things he accussed me of over the phone and how i still have strong feelings for him. What do you think?

g@bby 19 months ago

so.. ok this week was spirit week an don Wednesday we has to support our school team. my ex boyfriend gave me one of his shirts. the next day i go to give it back and he says i can have it. ps. he has a girlfriend now and he hasn't ave her anything yet ! wat does this mean ?!?!?!?!?

nikole 19 months ago

heyy, i just ready this and it makes perfect since now!

about a month ago me and my byfriend were into it and he made the comment "its obvious neither one of us are happy" so i blew up and said it was over. and ran out. an hour later i felt bad because i really didnt want to lose him. but he said it was too late and we were better off as friends. i still love him with all my heart and he's told his sister he wanted to get back together with me later on but yet he wont answer my texts and i was going to call him earlier and i started reading this and its all makin since now, i was talking to him the other day and i told him i missed him alot and he COMPLETELY changed the subject. i want him back sooo bad but we never talk or see each other now that were broken up. any advice? i could really use it. thanks! :)

Caniving liar 19 months ago

Hey I loved your article and i Really agree with what you say even though its super hard. Heres my situation, maybe you could help me on this?! Ive been with my boyfriend for 2 years now and 6 months into I started being a creeper. I would drive past his house and the gym to make sure he was really there. (I had an abusive ex so my trust for guys wasnt all there)I laid off alittle bit and then about 2 months later this girl tried getting with him and i got so mad I started my old ways again, he proved to me he didnt do anything wrong, so again I let it go. About 7 months ago he started college again and girls flocked to him I got jealous and again started spying, I went to the school to see what he was doing, i checked his phone all kinds of stuff, I even started talking to his ex girlfriend who he really HATES! me and her talked alot i told her everything, I was not only hiding things from him but i started lying ALOT! well just a week ago karma got me, his ex told him about our talks and he got so mad, then over a very long 6 day course i started spitting out all my lies! there were tons of them! Hes so mad at me, hes hurting and i know he wants me to hurt to for his pain. He tells me to prove to him that he can trust me, We havent offically broken up but i know he doesnt want to be with me right now, but hes giving me the benefit of the doubt, last night he even set up a bath for me (we dont live together) and after it I blew it completely with comments and not caring about him i turned into all about me. He got really mad and i know he diesnt want to talk to me now! and i know he wont trust me for along time. He keeps saying "your gonna leave bc your gonna feel like its to much pressue" but im not going to, i know me and him are suppose to be together! hes the one and i know he feels the same (well he did, until he found out i was a big liar) I need help i dont know what to do to get his heart back and show him i wont lie and that i do care about him and want to make him happy. hes just so angry that even if i leave him alone he messages me getting mad bc he cant trust me, I dont know how to fix this right now. Other than im done lying! PLEASE HELP :(

broken 19 months ago

hey essy. I hope you can help. My boyfriend and i have broken up for about a week now. I felt tht he never gave me as much attention that i needed, so i got frutrated and ended the relationship. I thought about it overnight and i realised that i really didnt mean what i said. so the next day i called him n i apoplogised and he said that he doesn't ever want to be with me again.

We were together for exactly two years (broke up on our anniversary) :( I realise that i really want him in my life n i wish he would understand how i feel sometimes. He told me that he wanted to move on and he's already interested in someone else :(. Just the thought of it have me extremely depressed. I feel completely lost.."what if..." However, i have broken all the rules and committed all the mistakes. how can you help me? I really love him n i need him back!

missconfused 19 months ago

my boyfriend who i love so much is saying he doesn't want me.This is because i am pregnant with his baby. I'm 19 and he is 17 and i know we are young but i feel like we can do this together and together is best.Growing up with a mother that wasn't around because of divorce lets me know that if this keeps up it will be heart breaking for our child.He was pushing for adoption after his mom described having a baby as a horrible fate. Before this he was excited. After living with his parents because we all got along before the news of my being pregnant, i had to either move or be emotionally abused until i broke into deciding adoption.My boyfriend had an agreement with me that this was better so that we wouldn't drive each other crazy and we could still be together but in different cities, like 45 mins away. Then the next day he tells me he doesn't want me.. how do i fix this for my baby and for this family that could be?? someone please help me

Jill 19 months ago

Please reply to mine. Please Essy.

MoMo 19 months ago

Essy, so my boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend were dating for almost 5 months. I'm in 9th grade hes in 8th grade, now i know what your thinking were young there will be more guys, but im in love with him, but where not in the same schools now...we were last year, and I had a soccer game that he went to, after that he walked me to the consseion stand and bought me some food than he game me a dollar to get a drink and he was standing kind of out of the way and he said I dont get to see you or talk to you, because i was grounded at the time for about a month, and then he continued to say maybe we should...and then i threw the dollar at him and walked away, I called my dad asked him to pick me up, so he did and I changed my facebook status to single. and then me and him started talking he was like I was going to break up with u and all hell broke loos, so now he says he needs his space, he wants to be single, and he cant see me everyday because im in highschool and hes in middle school, I then also found out that he likes his best friend and there both have every class together and she kinda likes him but shes been dating a guy for 2 years but they just broke up and now shes all confused, I dont want them to date, and he also told me that he wants to wait til hes in hs witch is about 45 weeks and i dont know if i should wait for him or just give up.....but like i said before im in love with him, what should i do??? plz reply, i also read the above i kinda broke all the rules, and making him feel pitty part no i cried on his shoulder at the football game but not to make him feel bad but just because I needed someone to cry to and he is my bestfriend still.

marina 19 months ago

I dated my boyfriend for two years and he left me because he said i left him too many times. we never actually broke up like we are. i would just say it. NOW that he is gone i have really learned NOT to say that unless you mean it. i pulled a very desperate move to get him back and he just said "i am so sorry, but just don't love you the same" i cried and told him how dare he and i did so much for him and much more and then walked away. i haven't talked to him since that day but i keep talking to his befriend who he sees everyday and i cant stop telling his friend how much i miss my ex and i feel like he tells my ex and i dont want that. but if he has, is their still a chance of getting him back?

Jill 19 months ago

I started dating my ex last August. We moved in with each other in October of last year. Things all were moving too fast. We broke up about 2 months ago. I wanted to stay friends and date, but he said it's too hard for him. He either wants to live with me and build a life or he doesnt want to see me. He moved to Florida yesterday and I miss him and want him to come back. What do I do?

Allie  19 months ago

Heyy Essy, Me and my ex broke up about 2 years ago and we have both dated other people..but now i realize that i miss him and want him back but hes not really into the idea. How do i get him back?

payton 19 months ago

hey, my ex and i broke up about 3-4 months ago, and ive missed him the whole time, he has a girlfriend, she is crule, mean, and sat on him, she is so fat she squished him!!, he is so sweet, and she has changed him, how do i get her, and her boy friend stealing butt outta the picture?! i need help, my friends hate him 4 dumping me, he did this because he thought i loved his best friend, whom i had dated before, i had dumped him once for his best friend, so i felt terrible, we were together again, and now im here, lonely as ever-help!!!!! sos

Sohappy 19 months ago

I forgot to say that it took almost 3 weeks for him to contact me.

Purell 19 months ago

I broke up with my boyfriend because I liked someone else and now I feel my boyfriend is loosing total interest in me and I'm falling back in love my ex. What should I do!!!

SadAlly 19 months ago

My boyfriend of 18months broke up with me about 2 month ago because he said he didn't want a relationship with me anymore,I suffer from depression and aniexty, He told me he couldnt handle the jealously and mood swings anymore. After we broke up, i rang him about 2-3 times a day, he would ignore the calls, which made me more depressed and hurt and would make me want to get in contact with him even more. He does talk to me sometimes on msn but i feel it's like only when it suits him, We have seen eachother about 4-5 times since the breakup.. and he has had intercourse with me every time.. I feel confused because i asked him if he had any feelings towards me, he kept replying no. I wonder why he would even want to see my face again if he was completely over me. I'm very confused because he has made it quite clear he never wants a relationship with me again, he told me even if he did have feelings for me ever again, he'd never date me, I also feel his parents have had something to do with our breakup since they have never shown me any kindness, He is also moving away in the next month for 3months for work prac for uni. Would this be a good time for the dust to settle? You'd be happy to know i havent contacted him for 3 days, it's so hard, i feel like i'm about to crack any moment and try to ring him :(

I need advice, i'm so heart broken, i feel like i'm dead inside :'(

heartbrokenL  19 months ago

hey my boyfriend broke up with me about 4 months ago right after the soccer world cup and i haven't even told my parents that i miss him as a matter of fact not even my friends only 1 friend and now he might be dating someone else!!!!!! :'( :'( :'( it's all because of my dad that just HAD to talk to him b4 we go on a d8 i miss him SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH

please please help me i don't know what to do know i'm not over him because everytime i see him i get this sad feeling inside and whenever i talk to him i feel like running from here to china i get so excited :D but i feel like i've totally lost him which i probably have

Heartbroken  19 months ago

hey my boyfriend of a year broke up with me because his (and used to be my) best friend had a fight. basically I accused both of them of flirting too much, and my boyfriend and I worked it out, and he promised he would not flirt anymore, and that they were strictly friends. I saw them laughing and passing notes in class and I just got realllllly jealous (I am extremely sensitive, and I am working on it). I confronted him about it and again he said it was nothing, but I didn't believe him. I told him I did not want to go to the Rangers game with him anymore, and that he should take her. After some more arguing, he told me that we needed to spend some time apart. I was devastated. I begged him no (I know, I shouldn't have done that!) and he said you need to call Sharita (the friend) and tell her you are sorry etc. I said I would when I collected myself because I was in tears. He then told me he had to go to hockey practice (this was all on aim) and I said "i love you byee", like always. He said "bye, I wish I could say i love you but right now i can't" and that hurt me soooo much. we started texting a few minutes later and I told him I spoke to Sharita, and I apologized to her. She accepted my apology, but said she did not really want to be best friends again, because she could not accept the fact that I thought she was trying to steal my man. I expected him to say "ok I'm glad you apologized I'll give you another chance", like he always does (we fight allllll the time, but never as seriously as this) but instead he said he needed to think about it, and talk to Sharita. I said ok, and then cried for hours and hours. On top of all of this I am sick, and I cannot even deal with the problem in school because I am home. I really need advice, because this just happened recently. My parents and friends do think that we will get back together, if I play my cards right, but I really need some direction to help me get him back. I also do believe he will come around but if there is any way to speed up that process, that would be great. Thanks.

~Heartbrokenn

April  19 months ago

Hello there I really need your help please!

Ok.. My boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me.I'm his first everything and hes my first everything. I'm 20 and hes 21. We have been fighting a lot and i would always start them. I'm very jealous and he gave me no reason to be jealous. I was just so scared of losing him. I get mad for little things. He would tell me to change! but i was so confident in our love that i didn't pay attention. I guess he was tired of us fighting that he broke up with me. It has been a month now. But I did a big mistake.. I called him a week after and asked him if he can think about it again. He said that he will and to have some hope because he might be back with me. But he didn't he told me he still feels the same that he just wants to be single. He said he wants to be friends because he cares about me.He told me to try to move on and to don't wait for him because he doesn't know if he will ever come back :( So now i stopped begging him and calling him or text him. I'm going to see him on Friday. So he can take me to my best friends house. And on Saturday we are going to see a movie together and then I'll be sleeping over his house... Do u think its a good idea?

Summer Gregg  19 months ago

me and my ex was together for 3 days not a long time i know but as soon as i met him (because we started going out oved the phone)the next day i knew that i loved him.It truely was love at first sight well for me i dont know what he was feeling we didnt see each other much in them 3 days but i made sure that he knew that i loved him i was always talking about him but 3 days later he dumped me i was heart broken didnt want to live and we are only 13 years old by the way this was like a month ago i have introduced him to my little sister who is 11 but she says she fancies him aswell and she is more friends with him than i am i am scarded that my little sister will end up going out with him i have wrote him notes,said it to his face that i love him nothing seems to make him see how much i love him what shall i do to make him see that i love him with all my heart? and do you think there is a chance for us two again because he has told me to move on but i cant my body just wont let me but he has moved on is there ever going to be a chance for us please help and write back you are my last chance if not i dont know what to do other than jump of a bridge with a note saying this is how much i love enough to make me die if you cant see. Is there still a chance?.Please write back please

S.Olivia 19 months ago

Hi Essy,

Just found out about your website. I think it's lovely what you're doing and that women are getting so much out of this.

I think I'm one of the few people that had only recently been broken up with their bf (6 days ago). I'm devastated as anyone would be, but I just think that there is still chemistry there. He admits that he still cares and that he has feelings for me. What narrowed it down for me was that he doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore period. I've talked to about 20 of my friends (literally 20), and I guess I'm confused because it's all different advice. I still believe there's a chance for us to get back together. Another important issue was that he felt like I was becoming controlling and insecure etc. I guess I was changing for the benefit for myself and him and he did see a change but it just seemed like it wasn't enough to keep him in the relationship. I feel like it would work if we compromised and I compromising works for us. We work together so I always feel like I'm suffocating and I'm not giving him enough space. Lately he's been the one approaching me (fb chat) but I become confused because at work today he seemed like he showed no emotion whatsoever. He either seemed like he was completely fine (mind you he's not the grieving type) with the break up or he didn't let the emotions get the better of him. I know for a fact that he's not the type of person to show emotion, he's stubborn and never wants people to know he's hurt or emotional. My friend said that if he's acting fine, he's moved on.

But I find this hard to believe – he couldn't have moved on because this relationship (of 13 months) meant quite a big deal to him, he wasn't really happy about throwing it away, it was more that he thought it was the right thing to do. I was thinking about asking him whether this break up was about not seeing us together again or a break up where you just want breathing room and space to clear your head. I guess this is the ultimatum, I don't really feel like approaching him just yet, perhaps in a week or so. Do you think this is a good idea? Or should I just wait till he says something? I just hate the fact that he tries to forget about me and not actually want to rethink the predicament and not think about the possibilities of getting back together. Sure, he broke up with me but is there anything I can do? I thought not talking to him would make him miss me (and I think it has made him miss me as well as my company). It sucks when he's approaching you every two days and just making a normal conversation haha. I know he's not ready to be in a relationship with someone else, so does this mean something can still happen with us?

Your tips and/or advice would be appreciated and I will definitely let you know how it all goes.

Thanks very much.

lolita 19 months ago

hi,i had a freind whom i knew for 8 years,during this period i used to like him and he said he liked me but i refused this relation coz i was afraid of losing him as a freind...so i talked to another guy and he talked to another girl and everything was well and we kept on this freindship...but then we broke up with our Bf and GF and it surprisingly happened at the same day...we get sooo close to each other,but then my Ex Bf asked for forgiveness and that he is sorry..and i did a big mistake and accepted his appologize and we were back together for 20 days then we couldnt continue...i wanted things to get better bw me and my freind and told him that i love him, he said he is so tired from what happened and that he needs time and need to feel relax...now we r back again in contact as we used to be before but am thinking of him alot and wishes everything goes right and get him back coz he is everything i ever wanted,,,help and advice what shall i be doing shall i ask him clearly what do i mean to him??

Guzman 19 months ago

hey, okay so me and my boyfriend broke up like 3 or 4 months ago, but i still have feelings for him. I've always tried to ignore him, like not talking to him. but lately.. i've benn noticeing that he is trying to get close to me, and i've notice that he is looking at me the same way he used to before we went out, i remember how he used to always look at me with a shy smile, and now he is doing the same thing.

and i want to know, does that mean that he likes me or he doesnt?

dacha 19 months ago

Essy, I need your advice. I started seeing this guy in August. we weren't an official couple but our entourage knew we were together. we also were exclusive. the issue with our relationship was that he is leaving for work in january. but all I wanted was to be with him until then.

a month ago he started being distant (less texts, less calls) but would still answer to all my texts and calls. one night, I went to this party and saw him with another girl. she apparently is a friend. but my concern was: you went to a party, you know I live around, why not tell me you were going? anyways after that night, I freaked out (was hella drunk) and called him like a gazillion times and texted him as well. he eventually got back to me the next day. we fought via texts and since then I haven't heard from him. I did text him a week after our "digital fight" just to tell him I still cared about him even after all we've been through.

I still want him, is there a way to get him back? we have a bunch of friends in common, it's very likely I'll see him again but i can't just call him, right?

HELP!

AC 19 months ago

Hey essy, so i was with my guy for 6 yrs. we have a child together. but we started life early. we moved in together when i was only 17, he was 18. & that was after only 2 months of dating. soon we were engaged, than pregnant. i was really a mean person to him for the first 2 or 3 years, but than the tides changed & he got mean. i had a feeling for a couple months that we were on the verge of breaking up. than when we finally did, i only than realized how much i loved him. he moved to a different state, but something happened where i had to go to that state. we ended up together for an amazing month. but than i had to go home. he ended up moving back to the state where i live.. we tried working things out, but we just couldn't get on the same page. now let me mention, when we 1st broke up, i was BEYOND desperate. i was ashamed at how i had no pride & how i begged & begged. but when we got back together, i asked him if i had just let go, would he have cared? he said if i had let go & not tkept trying, he would have assumed i didn't care & he would have moved on. now last week, we broke up again. this time it seems for good. for a day i did the desperate thing. but than i just stopped. he's said he wants to find a different girl who is a good girl. (i'm a good girl, but i've done some things that would make others think otherwise...) how do i convince him that i AM a good girl? how can i get him back? ..or do you think it's just time that i finally let go & move on? please help =(

sherry 19 months ago

Pls reply me Essy

ashley 19 months ago

i want my ex back, but he acts like he dont care and i still have feelings for him and i really want him back :(

jacie 19 months ago

me and my boyfriend broke up on our four months, we were having a arguement over somethin very stupid & it turned into somethin huge, so he told me it was over. we have been broken up for three days now, and im complately miserable. I texted him, begging for him back so many times, saying crazy things to make him feel bad so he would come back to me. I've dont basically everything your guide tells me not to do, but i had already done it before i new aboutm your website. but anyways, weve broke up a couple of times before but we got right back together the next day, this is the longest we have been broken up.and he has been tellin me, he just isn't happy, he oesn't feel right with us bein together anymore, and that he stillloves and cares about me. but if he really loved and cared about me that much why would he be doing this, and make me go through the pain and hurt?

Lilly 19 months ago

Hi Essy. Me and my ex broke up about 2 yrs. ago. We go to the same grad school and he said it's a small community so we should be friends. I still love him & before school started we did things that were more than just friends kind of things. I still love him. He said he doesn't want to date anyone untill school is over. Should i still remain his friend or tell him that i can't be just his friend (b/c it's really hard on me)? I told him i'd wait these couple years & then maybe we'd get back together? He said maybe but no promises. Any Advice? Is it best to remain friends with you ex or is that not such a good idea?

amber hardesty 19 months ago

im currently going through a rough breakup, we've dated two years. our relationship started out long distance for a whole year he'd fly down once a month and we talked every night and currently two months ago he moved like next door and we saw each other every day after work and every chance and well he is now pulling the whole "spark is gone, i wanna be just friends, i want to be alone, i like being alone" and it just doesnt make sense to me. i try to talk to him and all he is is just short and all "we are friends" and im trying to not talk and its getting hard and im starting to loose all hope.. :(

DaisyX 19 months ago

Hey

Ok, well I met this guy on holiday this year and in the end, after we knew each other for 3 hours we made out. we went out for about 3 weeks. I then broke up with him because I thought he was cheating on me. It turns out that he wasn't and he was like ( when we were talking on skype), do you still like me and I said that I did a bit and he said that he kinda liked me too. anyways, I am completly CRAZY about him! What do you think I should do? It's a REALLY different situation cause we live in different countries.

Please help.

DaisyX

p.s. the article abouve was really good btw :)

jadexoxo 19 months ago

After breaking up with my boyfriend for the second time, 3 months apart now, I realized ive made mistake but just as I get the guts to admit I was wrong and apologize… he has a girlfriend… I don’t want to tell him now because I know it will look like I am jealous and just want to break em up outta spite, but I was going to do it before I knew he had a new gf. New gf or not I refuse to give up, I am going to put forth all I have to try to get us back but I want to do the wrong things. Rather die trying than to have never tried at all. I have only ever wanted 1 other thing this badly and that is a college education, I am still struggling for that after 4 years, I am determined, I just need your help!! Please.

sherry 19 months ago

Hi Essy

Why you don't reply anyone? Hope you are fine.

Maddy 19 months ago

hey Essy.. thought I'd ask for the slight chance you may respond. I was seeing this guy, and he wanted a relationship. I wanted a relationship but was afraid of the long distance aspect, so I told him I wanted to keep it physical.

That didn't stop my feelings, though. I intended to tell him this weekend that I wanted to try to work towards a relationship, but the week before, he started back way off. He started talking to someone else that wanted a relationship and they have already committed.

When I found out, I didn't tell him I'd wanted a relationship. I'm thinking about sending him a message explaining that and keeping as cool as possible about it. What do you think?

ms.thao 19 months ago

hi thank for your tips, here my story, me n this guy known each other for 4 months but we never dated..but when were together were like every couple out there..we met each other family with in such a short time n my family love him n his family love me too..he tells me im the first girl he ever bring home to meet his family..but in our case i was kinda a jealous girl n had got to his myspce page n found a comment on his page that a girl wrote him n had confronted him..then we made up..n then a week later i found a picture of him n that girl that had comment him on her page..n i confronted him again..n he had their just friends n i let it go but he had he couldn't do it any more..but the funny thing is that my n his friends r really good friends n we will still see each other here n there..what do i do when i see him? do i go talk to him as in were just friends..or do i wait for him to talk to me? i don't know but i really want him back..its like when we see each other were both just speechless.

sherry 19 months ago

hi Essy

i have a very big problem and i need your help please. the begining was 13 years ago when i met my first love. we had a very romantic love story and he did alot of nice things to me just to make me the happiest one ever. we loved each other like no one did for about 4 years and we got engaged, but all of the sudden he broke up and in the last call he said that he'll always love me and then he disappeared. i'm now married with kids and he is also married and having kids. after all those years we started talking again cause we have a mutual friend in between and i told her that i need him in a busines so he welcomed the idea, then i discovered from days ago that a friend of mine was behind the ending of this relation as she was very jealous and she did'nt want me to marry him cause he is super rich and well known in my country. now after what i had been through i still love him and i want him back but i don't feel that he wants me as i do. by the way he does'nt love his wife at all, i knew that from about 4 years ago and they were about to get divorced several times ago and also i don't love my husband at all and we are suffering together and we are not a good match together. please Essy i need your help to get him back to me

Lins 19 months ago

Hi Essy, I have a situation of my own and am so confused as to what to do. My ex and I were together for 4 months and recently split last week. There was no warning the week before he was convinced I was the one for him and wanted me to move in with him since we live 5 hours apart. Next thing I know he was overwhelmed and said this was the way it had to be for now. He told me a lot of positive things that night after breaking it off, like he still loved me, please dont forget about him, he knew it was probably the worse mistake of his life, and that he was positive hed be talking to me. We have texted back and forth very simple talk. He told a mutual friend that he couldnt keep up with the i love yous and just thinks things went too fast. He was the first in the relationship to say i love you. Please help what do I do???? :(

Simone 19 months ago

Hi my is Simone n me n my ex bf broke up because he thinks I had sex while dating cos he listened to other people it hurt me that he didnt trust me. I told him I didnt n he still didn't believe me I miss him like crazy he is my world. He told me after the brake up yeah he wanted me back but he wasn't sure I would changed n live my life I did what I wanted after 3 weeks we still c each other once a week or once a fortnight but I don't know how to show him I changed. Please help me I really do love this guy

via 19 months ago

my boyfrnd is a really different guy.

he broke up with me without even telling me the reason

nd i dont have any idea how to bring him back.

i really do love this guy but he keeps on telling tat i am playing with him. i need him back

i need to knw te reason 4 him 2 break up .

via 19 months ago

pls do help me with this.he keeps on telling tat im not even a little bit hurt if he is gone.

:) 19 months ago

heey, i have just broken up with my boyfriend because the relationship was dragging i guess and i think its because i was his first real kiss and i think he wants to move on like with new girls but im in love with this guy really :/ we still talk as friends but im struggling weather to take this advise and use it and see if i will get him back, do you think there's hope :/?

:) 19 months ago

i wrote the question above but he still loves me i just unsure weather to make him miss me

:P 19 months ago

my bf broke up with me sunday and said that he doesn't want a relationship right now, but hes telling me he still loves me and doesn't wanna loose me for forever but, he went and told some ugly chick he loves her and tells me hes dating her so i have my friend txt himand he told her hes single any advice?

Mouradi 18 months ago

Hello. Umm I really like the advise that you gave but I dont know what I should actually do still. Umm I recently broke up with my boyfriend. And he was with a girl 2years and a half before me and him started to go out. So.. he is totally still in love with her. During me and his relationship she would alsways call and send messages and go to his house everyday and say she was going to see his sister. I wasnt jealous at all but then after awhile i got very jealous. So when me and him broke up... he told me I love you but I also love her... and it is very hard for me to pick, i dont want to leave her and regret it.. and i dont want to leave you and regret.. Me and him stayed friends but really really close friends...as if we were going out. Recently he got back with his ex because he told me there is a part of him for her still and he wants to know if its love or time between them. So he recently they got back together... but me and him still were seeing eachither. But two days ago he told me that I cant see him anymore only once a week because thats what his girlfriend wants and im not supposed to send messages he told me he will send me messages maybe. He told me also that there are other guys...blah blah blah. So these past two days I havent talked to him or anything. But I dont know if I should move on or stay. Or I should take your advise and try to get him back. Im so confused. And the problem with me is that When i tell a guy I LOVE YOU i mean it from all my heart and it is realy hard for me to move on.

HELPPPPPPPPPP What should I do ?

Help pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee

jenny89 18 months ago

so this guy from work asked for my number and right away started asking me to hang out all the time. hes really shy so it surprised me how often he wanted to talk/see me. he texted me constantly, from the time he knew i was awake till late at night. if i didnt respond after a few hours, he would text me again! he asked if i was talking to any other guys, and seemed really into me. i mean it sounds like it right? so after about a week of being in constant contact, he just stopped talking to me. i'd see him at work and he wouldnt even say hi. as far as i know, absolutely nothing changed. one night he was talking to me like usual and then the next morning i didnt hear from him.. he said he's really busy with work and school but if he gets any time, we can hang out again... what happened?? and do i have a chance to "get him back" when we were never officialy dating?

kit kat 18 months ago

HEy wat if my ex broke up wit mee cuz ppl said we werent gud together nd kno hes goin out wit my ex best freind HE wants me backkk

confused 18 months ago

hey,

My boyfriend recently broke up with me saying that he is just done with this relationship and that he is no longer in love with me anymore and just wants to do his own thing. He says there is no hope for us at all and that i should move on because he eventually will. I know what i should do but can't help myself when it comes to him. things were so good and then all of a sudden he broke up with me. It really does seem hopeless from what he has said and how he has reassured me that it is done for good. Any ideas on what i should do to make me feel better or get him back?

:) 18 months ago

imm soo grateful 2 u!!!!!!!

itz all because of you that my guy is finally talking with me again..tttaaankuuu soooooooooooo muuuuccchhhh essy!!!!!

Upset 18 months ago

My boyfriend of two years has just recently moved away To British Columbia iam completely hearttbroken his parents used to love me and be okay with our relationship after we lived together and it worked out lousy his parents blame me and decided not to let me at there house and block my phone number and not allow me to call him. They basically made me out to be a stalker he keeps sending me messages that he loves me and wants to be with me in the future but if its not gona work out with his parents how will it ever work out with us I dont no what to do cuz im hurting so bad And love this guy to pieces i want to move on but its just sooo hard im almost suicidal i have no one to turn to now that he has moved and even thought i want to keep my cool and haev him come to me i have been doing all the wrong things is it to late to redeem myself now?

Racheal 18 months ago

hey , so me and my boyfriend broke up..

we met threw a friend and clicked right away. Ofcorse i feel in love with him.. We had gotten into a big fight because i was afraid of moving to fast (again) and he said he was done.. then later that night he asked for me back. I had to think so i said no. Then 3 days later he had went out to a party and the next thing you know he has a new girlfriend. I'm heartbroken.. so i go and see on of my exs and we happened to makeout.. Then he found out and now he says he doesn't want me anymore because i had kissed someone when i found out he had a new girlfriend.. i have been dieing inside with out him.. he was the main part of my life for so long.. and now i don't know what to do with out him.. My grades are dropping and i'm not getting any sleep. I need my man back.. and i think i have ruined the chances? is there anyway that i could get him once again ?

dodi 18 months ago

hi

well i had a bf for almost 8 months we were together and we kept on breaking up and goin back together

and the last breakup with from me and i said that he is cheating on me and actually he wasnt

and after 3 months am calling him again and trying to get him back

he is sweet to me but he sometimes he tells me that he doesnt want to love again

but i ignore this statement of his and keep on talkin to him

we almost talk together everyday a little on the phone and sometimes we stay up at night till 3 to 4 am chatting together on msn

but i dont know if this all means that he is going back to me

the problem is he is afraid to come back to me as i would break up again because am the one that always break up most of the time

and now we know each other for 2 years

advice me please !!!!

N. 18 months ago

Hey... i have bf almost year ,and i see him with his ex girlfriends and i am sooo sade i can't belive it i can't sleep i can't eat i can't go out with my friends or my familey i always think about him i just can't belive it HELP ME PLIZ !! ;'(

Cassie 18 months ago

My boyfriend moved out yesterday. He said we were two different people and he didn't think it would work out. I really want to get him back but I don't even think he cares I still love him and I don't know what I should do. We don't hang out in any of the same places or friends so theres no way to get noticed by him again.. what should i do?

Emma McElroy 18 months ago

I could have done this, but unfortunately I already pleaded, obsessed and begged etc. We fixed it and fixed our problems again but things are not the same. Now we are apart and we don't have to think about it. He ignores me now. How can I get attention, if he ignores me without being pushy?

Gaby 18 months ago

Hi I need help , me an my ex boyfriend were together almost 3 year an we lived together an now he just broke up with me cuz he got fed up with my jealously an he said he still wants to be friends an that he dasnt feel the same way about me as Befor but he cares about me as a friend I don't no what to do an now his ALREADY seing someone els please help me I really truly love him an I would do anything to get him back .. What can I doo?? :(

Savychick 18 months ago

Hey well, I gotta boyfriend and the and thing is I love him, and I don't wanna hurt him but I think I'm falling for my ex and I think he's falling too.

I have no clue what to do! I Sat on my exs lap today and he acted like he liked it I thought he'd hate it! So thats why I did it. But i don't know what to do now, It felt right in that position but the other thing I like being with my Current Boyfriend a lot. It hurts. And I don't wanna two time. It's hard not to. Im a TOTAL flirt even my boyfriends friends are flirting with me saying that they're right for me and not my boyfriend. Help Help Help!

PS Im not a whore. :P

angie 18 months ago

hey essy,my boyfriend and i broke up two weeks ago. but i broke up with him because he was acting like he wanted it. he wouldnt tal to me he always seemed mad at me so i let him go.but now ive been trying to get him back ive written him notes and everything he says he dosent wanna girlfriend right now but he always stares at me if a guy is near me or talking to me i love him so much. he knows i want him back. i want him back so bad i cried infront of him its hard please help me....what do i do

autumn 18 months ago

hey im autumn and i love your tips and i was wondering what 2 do me and my xbf were a great couple we almost never got in fights but then one day his b day was coming up and i asked him what he wanted and he said b day sex and i said no and he said rly like i was a slut annd then we got over tht and then rite before his b day he dumped me and never told me y i have 2 say i did txt him and kall him alot but just 2 weeks ago i went on a date with a nother guy and h= i told him about it and he was txting me thou the whole date asking me so many qouestions like im going to hurt him but he said he was jealouse ans i thought it was so cutie but he said he wantsed 2 be friends with benefits and i said fine but then like on friday we made-out and i have been dogging him thou all my classes and he has been trying 2 talk 2 him i want him back inmy life but i dont know whats wrong with me his friends say he likes me and he tells me i look cutie and tht i have a sexy body but i dont know I NEED HELP

Aitchy 18 months ago

Hey, could really do with some advice on a very complicated situation! I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and we have a child together who's 18-months-old. We have a house together that we were doing up when we split so I had never moved in but he lives there. Things were going really badly for a while mainly do to me being tired from having the baby and struggling to get a job. I always felt like my boyfriend never believed that I wanted a job and I was there to live off his wages which is not true! His parents got involved ALOT and my boyfriend is very impressionable and would listen to their opinion instead of his own. They were intrusive when we were in the house and never respected my wishes in terms of privacy in the house. Plus, he was very jealous and accusive if I ever went out with friends. These are some of the reasons we split. You are probably thinking 'why do you want to get back together with THAT?' Basically because we have a child and our relationship/friendship is brilliant. Our relationship before, and I hate to say it, our child was brilliant. We just hit a difficult patch which most couples do. I know I was a cow but my boyfriend seemed to have lost interest in our relationship and our family so I ended it. I had some space but wanted to make up a week later and he turned to me and said: "I'm not happy and I don't want to get back!" Usually, when we have a tiff he chases me so something is different this time. I did the usual begging to no avail. After a couple of weeks we made contact and went on a couple of dates and boyfriend said he wanted to "work on things...but they might not work out" which he always tagged on the end. Why would he stress that they 'might not work out?' Things were going very well until his parents got involved. They turned up unannounced one day and insulted me and were incredibly rude saying some things I wouldn't say to my worst enemy. Boyfriend asked them to leave, sat for 10 minutes then said he was going for a drive (note: he'd been out all night and hadn't slept) He didn't return and a friend said she had seen his car parked at his parents overnight. We didn't speak or have contact for 5 days. I was certain this was the end. We got talking again and started to 'date' again within a week. Things were going really well, boyfriend said he wanted to work on things, blah blah blah. However, in the '5 days' I had been to solicitor. I'd had enough of his behaviour and how I had been exiled from my OWN home so I went to get general advice and find out my rights. I never went to start a 'case'. Things were going well. Then last week, solicitor sends boyfriend a letter asking him to leave the house. I stress, I DID NOT ASK HER TO DO THIS!!! Needless to say, boyfriend went mad and wanted nothing to do with me. I rang solicitor in a fit of anger, she apologised and sent a letter to boyfriend explaining she had got the situation wrong. Boyfriend was 'off-ish' with me and when I asked if we were working on things still he said in a strop "obviously not". We are on reasonable talking terms at the moment but only about our son.

I want him back so badly. I miss him terribly, although at the moment he is not behaving like the man I fell in love with. I don't know what to do now that things are so messy. Nothing has been said of our relationship. I don't know whether it is a lost cause. The night before the letter he said he wanted to 'work on getting back together'. Is he leading me on? Or is he just mad and I need to let him 'cool off'? Surely he can't just lose his feelings like that?? Sorry for the essay! But any advice would be very much appreciated!! Thank you.

Samantha 18 months ago

Hey, essy. I had a boyfriend, and I screwed up. I would flirt with other guys, and i even kissed one, and we broke up. I've been trying really hard to get him back, and nothing is working. I have been trying since the day after the breakup and it has now been five weeks. It tourtues me, because I'm forced to stare at him for about four hours a day in school, and he is in most of my classes. I'm desperate, and I miss him so much. What should I do?

courtney downer 18 months ago

My bf and i broke up about a month ago because he couldn't do a long distance relationship anymore and we have been for two full years. We love eachother and had an amazing relationship together just when apart it is hard to make that connection I guess. I let him go because it hurt so bad to love someone and want someone who can easily let you go in a second. It is kind of hard for me to do these rules because not like he can hear about things I do from his friends who I don't talk to. I also just been trying to go out and find other things to do but it doesn't take my mind off of him. I go home soon and stressing about it because I still haven't told my parents and I know they will have questions....just I don't know what to do and I still haven't gotten my things back and I haven't sent his yet. I was thinking about sending what I have here soon then when I am home send another with the stuff at home so he gets the point that I am strong and not holding on to him..but I don't know exactly if he will care or not because he did want to break up.We haven't talked since we broke up and I am dreading going home which ruins seeing my family for the holidays. What should i do?? Please help me.

Natalie 18 months ago

hi my name is Natalie i want to know if i still have a chance with my ex-boyfriend, its been 4years that me n him broke up but we still communicate and we are friends but i want him more to be my man, i still love him a lot, but what should i do?? Me ad him are really good friends and i dont want to stop talking to him just like that, so please help me

Britt  18 months ago

hey, i have read your article & i would like to say thank you so much! my boyfriend broke up with me yesterday, and i don't exactly know why. he has been quiet around me lately, and i didn't know why, because he is usally really outgoing. the day he broke up with me, he said he loved me and i thought everything was okay,but he broke up with me around 7 hours later. his close friends have told me that he still has feelings for me, but having a girlfriend was hard for him. please help me, i need some advice! i love him so much, and i have a feeling he still loves me too. i just need a plan to get him back!! any help/advice would be great :) thanks!

Mary 18 months ago

Hey, i have read you advice, and it really does work, ive heard so from many people who use the same tactics, but i was wondering if you could help me out a little bit here im not sure what to do in this situation. So my boyfriend broke up with me last night and i basically had to pry the truth out of him. About 2 days before he was acting very strange and quiet, so i kept on asking whats wrong, and finally he said i'm just thinking about things and i said what things and he replied i don't know like how hard this is and he explained that he doesn't like long distance relationships and it is hard for him to not see me. He said he still loves me and will always be here for me but he cant do it he doesn't see me enough. Okay this is where i am confused, although we go to different schools, my ex only lives 10 minutes away from my dads house and we see each other every weekend, just not during the week because he plays football and has practice evreyday. I don't understand why its a problem though because football is ending very soon and i will be living with my dad in about a week, therefore its not considered a long distance relationship anymore. He continues to say he loves me and that its just to hard and he cannot stand not being able to see the girl he loves, but i told him if he really loved me the distance would not matter, and its not that far anyway. I also pointed out how we were not the only couple dating from my school and his and they are doing perfectly fine. He continued to ignore that part and just said he cant do it but he doesn't want me out of his life totally and he hopes we can still hang out and talk. I said oh i thought we don't get to see each other so how would we be able to hang out and got defensive because he broke many promises and lied to me. He was the first guy i fell in love with again after my ex of 3 years cheated on me and left me 7 months ago. I really felt a connection with this guy, and we had everything in common! Anyway he keeps begging me to let him go to my powderpuff football game at my school next week and i don't know if i should let him. Is he just lying about still being here for me and just wants to get some like all guys do? or does he really want to be there and support me like he says he does? Do you think he found someone else in school that he can see everyday unlike me? I don't know but i need advice. Thank u so much for listening though.

Lauren 18 months ago

Hey Essy , i love the advice you're giving and i was wondering if you can help me. A couple years ago i dated this boy for about 6 months and we broke up. It took awhile, but we slowly became very good friends again. We started talking about dating again but it didn't work out because we were both too immature to handle the situation we were in. We continued being friends and then we lost touch a little. Turns out, he is in my homeroom this year and we got close again. We started hanging out with a group of friends because we share the same friends. One night when we were going to go to a party, we decided to skip the party and see a movie. I slept over his house and i woke up in the middle of the night to him pulling me closer and he kissed me on the forehead. All was perfect for about 2-3 weeks except the fact he has a girlfriend who he told me he was leaving for me. Last week we fought all week because he said he still has feelings for his girlfriend, but he still likes me too. O went to his house last weekend and we talked the whole thing through and we decided it was bad timing because he can't choose. I was wondering if you have any advice that i could do to get him to want to choose me. Thanks so much--Lauren

miley 18 months ago

hiee m miley n m 18 yrs old... i had been in relationship wit guy name kevin... but v broke up... :'(

i realy need ur help of urs..i read ur ol 3 rules.. n hv already applied it.. but no results... :(

actualy i had break up 3 yrs ago.. but stil sttil i love him n i want him back anyhow.. he is pretending me dat he is hvin gf.. n he also tels me dat his family also knws abot both of 'em... but ma frnds tel me dat he is jus makin feel u jeolous but no i hv seen both o em 2gether manytimes but sometimes i also feel i like he is makin me feel jeolous bcoz during times he show off abot her gf... n it literaly shows he showin off... he sometimes is soo soo gud to me.. i jus go blind on him... n ma frnds tels me dat he is oly talkin 2 u bcoz he needs ur help in studies... its been almost 4 yrs i had been in love wit him... pls pls tel me wat to do abot dis pls help me...

Taylor 18 months ago

Ok ; So I'm really sorry to bother you , but my boyfriend he tried talking to me this past May and I wouldn't because I thought he was bad for me, Then one day my best friend comes up to me and says " He hasn't forgotten about you" I asked her " So it's been like 4 months and he hasn't forgotten about me?" Side note : Maybe he isn't bad. So we went on a few dates and after maybe two weeks he asked me to be his girlfriend, and a couple weeks, and we were fine, but recently he started "hannging with his brothers/ the boys" alot and he rarley answers my texts or calls, he had pictures or other girls in his phone (he says there gone now) and he has an attitude ALL the time, So just two days ago I asked one of my friends to do me a favor ( not y brightist idea but whatever) and to text my boyfriend from her phone and ask if he has a girlfriend well she did and he said "Naw I dont have a girl, We should talk ;)" They were talking all day, and he wouldn't text me once, So I called him and said What the heck is your problem and he was like huh ?? I was like you don't have a girl ? and he hung up . So ealyer that week he had made a comment " I'm used tobeing single" and one time he answered the phone to me " I didn't mean to answer the phone" So i told hi if he wanted to be single that bad, he got it. But it tore me apart and I really want him back but I can't just be like I want you back because he has to make some adjustments . And I haven't called or texted once, but yesterday I butt dialed him, and i txted him saying "hahah I butt dialed you, sorry bahhha "and he didn't text back .

Sencierly Taylor . P.S. HELP :0

Heart Broken 18 months ago

Hey. So me and my ex had been dating for almost a half a year and than broke up with me cuz he said "things didn't feel the same." Soon after that he found out I had slept at one of my good boy friends house (nothing happened). But he was a very jealous guy, one of the reasons i didn't tell him, and was fuming when he found out. After that, i felt completely heart broken and i was full of regret. I thought he hated me for not telling him the truth so I didn't talk to him for almost a month. Finally, one of my friends told me i should tell him in person how truly sorry i was for everything. So i took her advice and things went good. He told me he forgives me and everything but it sounded as though there would really be no hope of getting back together. So i kept the communication between us to a limit since i did not wanna be a pest or seem needy. Than one night he texted me telling me he misses me and stuff and i thought maybe he wanted to get back together. So we hung out a few times like we used to when we dated. Than he told me he just wanted to be "friends with benefits" and he doesn't want a relationship. When i asked him why he said that they never work for him-even though he has only been in 2 (including me). When i explained this to him he just said "well idk i just don't want a relationship." This hurt so bad cuz he always tells me things like "your so amazing" and "i wish you were here with me right now." I really don't understand why he doesn't want one cuz i know he likes me and we do pretty much the same things we used to when we did date. I drunk texted him one night basically begging him to take me back and telling him i could give him everything which i know now is a big no no. But again i apologized and for now were still gonna hang out and try the friends with benefits thing. Why doesn't he want a relationship? And what can i do to make him want one? HELP!

Abby 18 months ago

My ex and I broke up 3 years ago and we're still kinda friends...i have started to have feelings for him again but im not sure if he feels the same way (hes been out with like 3 girls since then...) how can i figure out if he wants to go out or not?

Alexandra 18 months ago

My boyfriend broke up with me a couple weeks ago and im so depressed about it. I already had depression issues in the past so now its gotten worse and i have tried everything to get him back but he says that he will get back with me in weeks/months or something like that but from my experience that most of the time means 'i never want to be with you again' please help me what do i do???

skinnys  18 months ago

Hey essy ,

Alright so , this has nothing to do with getting a boyfriend back but i need to know somthing, and i figured you could help me .

So, i have this boyfriend, and we have been together for four months, and although this may not seem alot i am a freshman , and usually things don't last very long, at my school . Well anyway , Alot of the guys at my school arn't very honest, and are really just seducing you for fun, make you fall in love with them and then leave , aka players. Well i have been through many of these guys, but i found a guy, who is very honest and has had a few girlfriends but he was really serious with them, and he wasn't the one who ended the realationships , he was the one who was left heartbroken. Any way , i know he loves me, i am sure and i am very trustfull towards him & he just so happends to be so in me too . Well the other day me and my friends were all talking and i found out he cheated, well kissed another girl. I didn't believe them though and asked him alone, to give him a chance to come clean , and he lied , he told me , he loved me too much to ever do anything like that , But a couple of days later the girl he kissed told me what happened , and i had no idea who to believe so i sat him and her down at one table , & finally he admitted he had kissed her . My heart immedeatly sank , i felt so bad . & i was mad . He tried to tell me he was sorry , and didn't mean it , i was still mad and ended up ignoring him. The next day , I asked to talk to him , we went off campus and talked things through , he told me how much i meant to him , and i had felt the same . I gave him another chance , which i think was the right thing to do, and we have been great and he dosn't even talk to that other girl , anymore .

However , everytime i see him, I see him kissing her .

Is this normal ? I know nothings going on , and he spendas all his time with me and all and he's the greatest guy ever . But i see that image all the time.

& i know it's not his fault, but should i end it , and try to move on ? or should i talk to him about it ?

Or should i try to forget what happened since i know he's very loyal ?

Thanks Essy ,

Skinnys

Em 18 months ago

hello, I just wanted to say your advice is totally true. I broke up with my boyfriend about a year ago because we were moving so fast and I wasnt ready but by the time I realized I was still in love with him he had moved on to a girl years younger then me. It was my first serious relationship and I acted the complete opposite of your rules which is totally unlike me. I never got him back and I am still heartbroken that I lost such a great friend because I let my emotions get to me. Wish I had seen this site earlier xoxo em

Cherish 18 months ago

Hi Essy, So Im 18 years old and my ex is 22. We just broke up about 3 weeks ago and I am truly heart broken, although Im not as upset as I originally was. None the less me and this guy were together almost a year, we broke up about 5 days before our one year aniiversary. I saw the breakup coming but I was really in a sense of denial. I LOVE him SOOO much, and Im still in love with him. He says he still loves me to. But I think I might have pushed him farther away because I did all the big "no mistakes" by contacting him and at one point I tried to talk to him about what happened to see if he was willing to work it out. That didnt go so well. The circumstances of the relationship where of this: yes we argued, and he felt like some stuff I did that I didnt realize made him aggrivated. As well as him being stressed out from more personal issues with family. He told me he couldn't take it anymore, you know the arguing and stuff I guess. Now he hangs out with his friends and he doesnt really think about what happened between us. But i know he still loves me and he still cares, my biggest thing is I want him back. Not because I need a man in my life, but because I truly love him and I wanted to spend my life with him, I just feel like he's the one. I know Im 18, but its something about him and our relationship that just makes me smile on the inside. HELP me please Essy. I just want the person I fell in love with back, we had made all these plans for us to be together, and the way it ended just devastated me. I feel like apart of me is missing.

P.S

I had wrote a comment on my facebook wall saying, I had just got off the phone with my "boo". Now Im not in a relationship with this dude, we're just friends. But my ex read that and I had sent my ex a text saying i wanted to hang out with him (I know mistake number one) anywho, he wrote me back saying " No disrespect but can you just give it a rest, go hang with your new boo or whatever you want to call him". I asked him was he made about what i posted, he said no. But I think he is feeling a way towards what i posted, but i could be wrong. I need some guidance Essy, really I do. Help!!!!!!!

Neisha 18 months ago

Hey Essy,

I have a HUGE dilemma and need help. I have been dating a guy 8 years older than me on and off for the past 9 months. We get along great and have really good chemistry and have the same aspirations in life.We're great with each other's families and really care for one another. A few months ago, out of nowhere, he just had this complete personality change and all of a sudden is just full of outburts and constant moodiness and is no longer his fun-loving, laidback self. I don't know what to do! I left for a while because I thought it was his way of trying to get rid of me, but he cooled down and we were able to fix things a couple weeks later. Yet, he's still not himself...he's told me that he's not happy with his job, he's unhappy that he's still at home, and just isn't sure if he's reached his full potential for how old he is...and he's only 28! Because of all this, he's said that he wants to care for me and be there for me, but he can't even take care of himself right now and it's best if he's not dating anybody right now because he can't give me what I want right now (which is a relationship). I'm just so stuck on what I should do...the busy season for his job is winding down so now he's going to have better hours and be able to look at different job options, move out, and fix the things that have been bringing him down. And now that he's gonna be able to get all these things fixed, I don't know if he'll come back to me like he's done in the past or if I should try contacting him? It's almost been a month since we last spoke...and it's hard because I worry about him. I don't know if it's a midlife crisis or if he's just depressed? I just want him back in my life...what should I do?

Sade21 18 months ago

hey essy.. Me and the father of my child just split. He doesn't want me to have time for myself and I want him to stp that. We both agreed to just give each other space, but I miss him so much everyday. I bring our daughter to see him everyday but I miss our family as a whole. What can I do Im hopeless and dont want my daughter to see me like this.

Tasha 18 months ago

Hey Essy!

Im so shocked at the amount of girls going through break-ups! I was randomly googling for help and I found your site, and I think its wonderful that you can help!

Im in a dilemma because my boyfriend told me he is going in January next year... thats a month and a half away! His reasons being he didnt think he was the one for me, but he loves me so much, he doesnt want to leave me now because he's not ready! The other problem is, its because he is studying in a different town.

I spoke to someone who said I could just tell him to make a choice - but that would be pushing him away! OR I could just make sure these next months will be amazing and I can walk away knowning I did my best.. but there is no way of actually perparing yourself for the heartache to come!

I dont know what to do! I love him alot.

Im just super scared now! any idea's of how I could change his mind?

your advice would be appreciated!

Love and Courage to all the girls out there! x

Tasha

Rebecca* 18 months ago

Heyy Essy :)

I was with him for nearly a year and a half. He has a lot of friends which are girls and i used to get jealous as that is natural and i used to get bothered about it all the time and he used to explain they are just friends and all he wants was me but then the girls kept trying to wined me up and made me keep going on at him and i didn't realize it was annoying him that much that he needed space from me. We have had little break ups in the past but i know me and him are meant for each other and when he broke up with me he said he didn't love me anymore but the day before the way he looked at me was like he was inlove with me so i really don't get it :( Then the day after we did have a little argument and the day after that he said he didn't want to be with me anymore. i have said things in the past which i didn't mean to say and we had sorted things out by then and he just keeps thinking of the past. Me and him have nearly been split up for 3 months now? and he hasn't spoken to me and refusing to so i dunno what else to do :( im inlove with him and just want him back i have been so ill because of this and i do believe me and him are soul mates and have a strong connection and now he doesn't realize it. He just doesn't realize he has done the wrong thing to dump me.

He brought me into his family and now his family feel like family to me and it just hurts a lot. i cant stand the pain anymore! I miss him soooo much :'(

what shall i do??

xx

Eiran 18 months ago

Essy,

My situation is a little different. I was dating this guy for a year we was madliy in love. But then he became abusive and started to cheat i left. But i wont him back, he says he still love me but he has a girlfriend and he talks to me sometime. He always say i left, im the reason for everything but he was the reason for me leaving he does reverse sicology alot. But last night he said he needed to see me he miss me and why i don't love him no more. But i do i dont know wat to do wat do u think

sincerly, Eiran

GeorgiaL19 18 months ago

hello, im young and inlove im 17 and I think ive found the one i was with a boy reasantly because I thought I didnt have a chance with the guy ive fallen for exept after I was seeing my BF kieran for a few days the other boy hugh said he had feelings for me and wanted to be with me i was sooooo happy and I broke up with Kieran because i was being unfair to him and now its like hugh dosent care almost as if he only wanted me because he couldent have me!? and to make matters worse hes got a new girl friend - i want to hate him but i cant! and I feel crushed I like him soooo much HELP - i dont know if you article (which i love)

applys to me???!

cinn 18 months ago

ok so i need lots of help....me and my boyfriend of 2 years broke up about like 2 months ago...and i met another guy and he is awesome...but my ex. is trying to get with me like super bad...he cries and everything and really wants me back and he started talking to another girl and i got a little jealous...and so i talked to my ex about it and he still really wanted me back so i thought that we could hangout one night....so i had to tell the new guy that i still had feelings for my ex...so he was mad at me and he says he only wants to be friends now...and i hung out with my ex. and i dont really feel the same way like i did before(like im not in love with him anymore)...what do i tell him...im afraid that if i tell him i dont wanna be with him anymore that i will regret it again...HELPPP!!!

Andrea 18 months ago

I believe my situation is very different because I was the one who broke up with him. If I never call him and pretend I've moved on won't he take that at face value because I was the one who broke it off in the first place? I do want him back, but I'm not sure how to go about doing it. But then again the reason I broke it off in the first place was because I thought he was losing interest in me. I even was honest and made that plain to him when I broke up with him. We told each other we still wanted to be friends but he deleted me off facebook today :/ So I don't know if he is hurt or not..I thought that he didn't care about me, he even told me when I asked if I was reading him wrong that 'no I really just enjoyed the sex' But even spite that we agreed we still wanted to remain friends, why would he delete me off his facebook? Facebook is not a big deal I know, but because its facebook it just seems like a spiteful move on his part.

JANICE 18 months ago

hey essy,

i was carrying on wid a guy 4 2yrs, wen v both were gng i never had trust on him coz i shuld get scared 2 trust him as my frnds shuld say he is nt a nice guy, he is a flirt n all. i always shuld notice him he shuld lie a many tym. der shuld be no day where v both hav not faught.i was very possessive 2 him. i shuld insult him n he never shuld tell me anything bt v shuld be 2gether. as v loved eachother alot. once i said him many bad things n even happen 2 giv him badwords. he cried alot n told me dat he is breaking off at dat tym he kept a relation wid a gal n i was nt knwing bt after a week he came back 2 me. he was carrying on wid a gal n even me. one day my mom happen 2 see him wid a gal n she told me dat i saw ur bf roaming on d bike wid other gal. i broke n started asking him, he didnt accepted it, as tym was gng i noticed he shuld say alot lies n i even saw dat he was ignoring me so i felt dis guy doesnt love me n i broke off wid him. i went again back 2 him bt he didnt accepted me. i really want him back wat shuld i do?

Annonymous 18 months ago

Hey Essy,

It sounds like you're a big help. I need your advice, but is there any other way I could contact you? Possibly in private. I don't feel too comfortable sharing my situation with everyone.

may 18 months ago

Me & my boyfriend have been going out for 14 months and everything has always been perfect. About two weeks ago he told me that he thought he had feelings for someone else who he had met about 4 weeks ago max at work, he then decided to finish the relationship with me because of these feelings and thought he maybe falling for her?! Since then I have heard he has got with this girl, but Im confused to how he can just walk away so easily from our relationship as we didnt have any problems and just jump head in with this girl.

Is this classed as a rebound relationship as he thought he had feelings with her while with me or is this lust? Im just so confused as he loved me so much and its just all gone wrong within 2 weeks. He hasnt cheated on me with this girl but has obvs hooked up with her after we finished. If anybody can help me out at that that would be great. Emmy I did send you an email but I know how many you get that you prob can't respond so if anybody else has any ideas can you give me a shout.

Also this girl he has hooked up with was seeing his cousin 3 weeksago and cried on my boyfriends shoulder over the cousin.

may 18 months ago

Sorry I wrote Emmy instead of Essy X

Alison 18 months ago

Hey. so basically i have been dating this guy for 5 months last year. then he broke up with me. then we didnt talk for like a year and i didnt even want him back. so this year, he asked me out again,saying things like he misses me and stuff. so i said yes but at that time i liked this other guy, lets call him x. so it was hard for me to say yes. he started noticing that i was not into him anymore, so he use to get pissed off. and for some reason he started annoying me. he started flirting with this ex of his which pissed me off so i broke up with him. but we remained friends and he told me that he has feelings for his ex. i told him that i like x for a very long time. so now we are friends, but thing is, now i feel for him. thats because after being friends for quite a long time, i know what a great guy he really is. when i asked him if he still likes his ex, he said no. but i keep on telling him that i like x even though i dont anymore. so i want him back, but thing is i dont think he will ask me out again because he thinks i dont love him. so i need someway to get him back. we talk a lot and now we are really close and i think he still likes me. i really need your help.

Confused 18 months ago

I read your article and loved your advice that you share. But im not sure if i fit into the idea situation like you were talking about. I was seeing this guy for almost two years and it was at the point were we were living together and next thing i know we were fighting over every little thing.. Well needless to say we broke up and it hurt me and still does. Well it didnt stop there, we still hang out and still get along just like we did when we were dating and everything seems normal, but now he says he isnt looking for a relationship.. AND to top it all off.. while we werent dating there was a time that we slept together and now we have a beautiful 8 month old son together..And seeing him all the time and knowing we arent together right now breaks me up over and over.. I need help on what to do.. You know get that love that we had brought back up to the surface so to speak

Heartbroken Gal 18 months ago

hey.. i juz came across ur blog!!! lovin the advices u give ppl here... i really need a bit of help.. rathr a lottttttt of help !!!

Juz totally lost,, i was datin this guy for 4 yrs.. the last one yr was veryyyy rough! we fought over baby issues,, mainly coz of me hvin probs wid him nt givin me enuf tym, being less romantic etc etc. Now that i luk back he really was tryin to keep me happy bt i was too insecure, over-demanding.. threw alotttt of tantrums!!! bttttt i did care for him alott as well(((he knws it))) i gave him alot of love affection care!!!

Btttt,,, 3 months bk he walked outa my life sayin its tym that it shud get ovr coz he cant do it nemore. He's bcum very close to his frnd(a gal) n has started likin her recently... she liked him since we broke up! they r quite compatible n like each othr..

In the past 3 months iv tried evrything.. givin him space, talkin bout stuff... rather i e1 ended up cryin n creatin scenes!!!! n it jus pushed him further away... The situation seems totally hopeless... he doesnt pick my calls, doesnt respond to mails.. nothing!!!! i fail to get hw cum he's bcum soooo stone hearted.. he always was thr wid me in my bad tyms as a support.. always loved me soooo much .. thn suddenly wat happnd?????

wat shud i do... i really want him bk! :( HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!! PLZZZZZZZ!

precious mama 18 months ago

how do u get urs bck tell me wat i got 2 do right nw n den im write it down nw on a sheet of paper.

Kalee 18 months ago

Hey all. Essy's advice works. Do what she says. My ex just begged for me to take him back. He broke up with me and said that it was "done for good". And I even freaked out and called him a few times in the first few days. Don't call your ex. Start pulling yourself together; change your look up, go on a fun trip, do something fun. Then, a few weeks later, give him a call.

Kristin 18 months ago

Hi,

Me and my bf have been getting in alot of fights that started back in September yesterday he told me he needed a week to think like be single and go our separate ways. We planed on hanging out in a week , and he had told me he would reask me out. Well today he told me he couldn't promise that he would get back with me. And I started crying and being needy and telling him that I needed him and being pathetic. I texted and called hi

So much I can't even give a number . I am at lose of what to do. I feel like I drove him away by being needed and "stalkerish" . We have been dating for a year and all the fights started when school started back up and I got stressed. I need help. I don't want to loose him.

Christina 18 months ago

Hi, I am so broke right now never thought i will be in this situation, i had relationships before , and i was much more stronger with break ups and moving on..

This one is different , the guy was not even my boyfriend, we were dating occasionally, firs he was realy after me, and i never had a time than i was more into him, when finaly he invited me to go to madrid with him for a short break. everything seemed to magical to me , i was waiting for it so much, and just a week before we went there he told me that he had a serious relationships before and his ex just got married this weekend and at this he is not ready for anything serious, which was upseting but not tragedy , i honestly believed the trip will make us closer to each other. So here we go , i arrived to madrid and firs day was everything very romantic etc, but after he became colder and colder, always on the phone, keeping distance but at the same time being a gentelmen. I had a great time as a holiday it was fantastic. but the last day he was just to cold we hardly were talking to each other,that made me upset and now i wish i could say or ask something back than, but i just couldnt, the emotions were so big.

so i left in the evening and when i arrived i wrote him a text saying thank you very much i had an amazing time and hope you enjoyed it too. to which he replied that he enjoyed it just a little. at that moment i wanted to jump out of the window, why? i cant think of anything i did wrong..like anything major. since i feel sick i cant eat and sleep and i ve been in love before but never felt that bad in my life. i dont know what to do...Clearly i want him back..

Heartbroken Gal 18 months ago

heyyyyy can u plz help me outttt Essy??????? i'v posted my prob above...!!!

G.l 18 months ago

hey thx for this really, i been sercching for some good edvise my situation es kinda really here to sum it all up i mett a guy how i feel so hard for and was amazing and i hade withing the time we were togther the best time of my life and everything was perfect but then he's ex keep coming up and coming up and trying to the poin that she know is the girl friend. and im the ex its a hard situation you know cuz over all i stile see him everyday cuz we study together the thing is he tells me that he has feeling for me but he has feeling for her as well that whit me he feels one way (wild and free) and he feels another whit her (romantic) he says he's comfuse and dosent know what to do but he keeps going to her more and more the thing that bothers me its that to me hes honest end tells me evrything that he feels but he dosent tell anithig to her about how he says hes comfuse and stuff. anyways i really dont know what to do about this i really want him back....

Haley_Boo 18 months ago

Hey Essy,

My boyfriend and i just broke up after a year long relationship and he said that he wants me to prove that i love and care for him. I dont know what to do, ive been devistated by the break up and theres nothing more that i want then him back.. Do i keep my distance? Then i feel like he'll think that i dont care about him or love him, or he'll think im out with some other guy ( he's the jealous type and if he thinks this he'll think i dont care enough about him to spend the time with him.) Gahh, what do i do?

Becki 18 months ago

Hey, I need advise. Me and my boyfriend of about 9 months broke up in September. We are both from the UK but I work abroad for 8 months of the year and he knew that before getting with me. I trust him 100% and he came out to visit me put me up in a 5 star hotel in barcelona etc. I went home for a week to visit him and it was the most perfect relationship. Anyway he started getting doubts so he ended it. I'm home now and I let him know that but he said he's not up for the problems of a relationship and is happy living the single life. He told me he's moved on and he thinks I should too even though he knows fine well I was going to stay at home with him next year - I only went this year because we hadn't been together long enough for me to quit a job for. Do you think I have a chance? I have deleted his number to avoid temptation of texting/calling him although I still have him on facebook. Please help!!

Kendall 18 months ago

Hey Essy,

My boyfriend broke up with me almost a month ago and I'd been saying/doing some of the wrong things... like "you don't realize how hard this is for me!" and stupid stuff. Then I just started to be mean to him which did no good either. But we're doing a science project together and while he was driving me home, I showed him this crazy side of me. I cranked his music up and started to dance and we laughed and had a really good time! When we were almost home he said, "I haven't been on this street in a long time" and when I was climbing out of the car he said, "Bye Kendy". Is this a sign? Or am I just taking what he says the wrong ways? And it's not like Kendy is a common nickname for me, he knows only people I'm really close to call me that...

What does this mean?

Moomoomin 18 months ago

I have a simple question... does this work even if I was the one that broke up 5 years ago?

Sara Jean  18 months ago

Ok Need your help....Things were going great for 6 months then my dr put me on some medicine that wrecked me, made me moody, irrational, physically sick and very emotional. I didnt know it at the time. We got into a fight and I ended it because I was so angry and upset. I tried to fix it asap and he said he was done, didnt want anything to do with me. that was almost a month ago, I total screwed up and did the whole crying,hysterical and even went of fb and totally over expressed how I was feeling to everyone online. I talked to him for about 5 min a week after it happend and he said the fb thing was the last straw. It was a week later that I found out abou the meds via a second opinion. I called and tried to talk to him but his answer was still no. The only time he will even answer me was when it had to do with him picking up his stuff. He will not answer my phone calls, emails, text or anything. I stopped doing any of it about a week ago. How do i go about getting him to start talking to me again? I know he is the one and that he is just hurt and angry, but I can't show him that I have totally changed now that I am off the meds, and back to the me he fell in love with unless he talks to me. Please tell me the first couple of steps to get past this obstacle? I am getting ready to download the book. Thank you thank you! Sara

jer-zgurl584 18 months ago

Hey Essy,

I was dating this guy for about a month and a half. Two nights ago, he left me a facebook message saying that we needed a break and there were some things in his life that he had to sort out. But he said that he still thinks I'm an amazing girlfriend (direct quote) and that he doesn't want to totally lose me. He also said that it would be easier in the spring but that he just can't be tied in a relationship right now. I was (and still am a little) devastated. He said that he wanted to talk the next day and I tried to set it up via text message, but when it was evident that we weren't going to talk about it I stopped and sent him a facebook message in reply saying that I understood that his life was getting busy and that I didn't want to totally lose him either. I also said that I would try to get out more and get more. I saw him last night at church and we talked a little, like we were friends and then afterwards I went to a special Thanksgiving dinner with some other friends from church while he went home.

Do you think that there is a chance?

jer-zgurl584 18 months ago

sorry that sentence is supposed to read: "I also said that I would get out more."

ConfusedGirl 111 18 months ago

Hello to whoever is out there,

I need some advice, this may sound crazy but there was this guy. He was crazy about me when we first met and he asked me out. We dated for 3 weeks but then he dumped me. It was totally out of the blue. Now, I do have to admit we saw each other way too much in such a short space of time. But I have just found out that one of my close friends, who didn't even know him until we started dating, was texting him during the last few days of our relationship. It is so obvious that he fancies her now. But the problem is, I can't stop thinking about him. It's been almost 2 months since our break up. I really want him back and I haven't told anyone. I don't know what to do because he keeps flirting with my friend and ignoring me. He talks to me if i talk to him first. I just don't know what to do. Can anyone help?

Jess 18 months ago

Heyy everyone.

I was with this guy for about 2 months and then out of nowhere he told me that he didnt want a girlfriend anymore. The break up was very recent. he told me that he could do the committment and he wasn't a serious guy. He probably came up with every excuse every guy should. i like him so much and i don't wanna give up. he said i made him happy and everything and we have such a good time together, we still smile when we see eachother and i think i could love him. is there still a chance? anyone?

NaughtyorNice 18 months ago

Heyy Jess,

I have something to ask you. How much time did you spend with him?

He might just want some space. What you should do is improve your look, make yourself look amazing everytime you see him and look confident. Make sure you look happy with yourself. I'm having the exact same problem at the moment. And my ex boyfriend and me hang out all the time because we hang out with the same group of friends so he sees me all the time. But he is noticing me more because i'm ignoring him and acting confident. He has been talking to me more. It really works.

Michaela<3 18 months ago

I just broke up with my boy friend 2 days ago. we were dating for a month. He makes me so happy when i see him it feels like i have butterfly's in my stomach when i see him.BUT HIS EX GIRLFRIEND AND HIM FLIRT ALL THE TIME! i really truly love him and i don't want to give up, i had my first kiss with this guy and i want him to be my only guy. but hes texted me saying listen.... i only want to be friends nothing more..... i asked why? and he told me and i quote "i just don't feel that way about you anymore sorry" that brought my self confidence level to a 1! tons of guys hit on me every day, im the most popular girl in my school and all the guys think i am incredibly gorgeous and hot but i don't get that from my ex he just flirts with his ex gf. i REALLY LOVE THIS GUY! WHAT DO I DO??

ChrissyM 18 months ago

Hi, so my boyfriend of not too long broke up with me a few weeks ago. It was after a minor misunderstanding we had, but we had resolved it the day before we split. We are college students and have Christmas break coming up, which lasts for a month. He told me that he had been stressed lately and with such a long break coming up he didn't really want to be in a relationship; he also said he felt bad for 'corrupting' me (as he smokes much more than I). I maintained the 'no-contact' rule for a week but then texted him saying i would like to talk. I did not beg, plead, or ask to get back together. We simply agreed to be friends. And have not talked to him since (which was a few days short of a week ago).

However, I obviously want to be with him. He had previously told me that that was the happiest he had been in a long time and constantly told me how much he liked me. We live in the same building so I will obviously see him and we share some mutual friends. I'm not really sure what to do. Can I still get him back? How?

Jessica 18 months ago

Hi

I went out with this guy for two weeks he was really into me. We kissed went on our first date (only date) and talked all the time to the point of where I really knew him and I was starting to get attached BIG time! He broke up with me today saying that i was phenominal and that he cant imagine not having me in his life but he said he only wants me as a friend. I really want him back I you're artcile is amazingly helpful but im not sure under the circumstances that he will take me back. Do you have anymore advice for me? Do you think he'll take me back?

Thank you so much

Jessica

kait 18 months ago

my boyfriend is on and off with me and i hate it..He told me a couple days ago how much he loved me and was kissing me then yesturday he blew me off cause i was talking to a guy and my guy then told the guy idc about her and im done with her. But i dont beleive that he means that. We broke up a month ago but we been talking since and all. Everyone says he'll come crying back if i ignore him?? He came back all the other times but i dont want to chase after him anymore. How can i get he to come crying to me?

Michaela 18 months ago

Hi i just went on my ex boyfriends face book and it says that he is married to his ex! i am dying inside i really want to be back into his arms and him holding me instead of his ex! read my other passage to help me more please!

Lindsay 18 months ago

I had an awful break up. I t happened today I cryed all the way home on the bus. So sorry for all of you out there who have been trough what I have. I t is so bad. God I hate break ups the are so hard to go trough. Again I am so sorry for all of you. Bye.

Cassie 18 months ago

Do these rules apply when internet dating is involved? This guy and i have been talking for over 7mths and about a month ago we met in person and it went great. He has told me he is interested and would like to take it further but when make plans he pulls out as he is so busy. So after about the 3rd time of him pulling out i said to him 'its clear by the fact that your actions dont match words that your not interested, if im not worth your time then stop wasting mine'.Ive just noticed a change and wondered if there is anything i can do to fix the damage i have caused?

Michaela 18 months ago

i Really need some edvice on how to get my ex back i read all of the passages people left and they helped but im still so sad! i really want this guy back i have left 3 comments all saying michaela

ashleigh 18 months ago

so my BF broke up with me 2 days ago. he did not give me an exact reason why. he says he wants to be friends, but im not sure i can be friends with someone i love. we had been dating for a year. his reasoning was kinda like david's. my dad does not like him and he knows that but my dad is a jerk and he also know that as well. our relationship was sorta sexual, so my friends believe that he just dated me to get what he wanted. but hes not like that. i made the mistake of calling him. what do i do? i have no where else to turn. i feel like im dying on the inside.

tweety 18 months ago

hii....I am in deep love with my ex, i just want him back into my life!! we are from two different religions, his reason of breaking up with me is that we wont last forever, and he always say " i don't want to love you more than that"

please people help me...i really don't know what to do!! but sometimes i get a feeling that he still love his ex!! am not sure anymore if he loves me... i know nothing!! the last moments was like hell...all what he was doing is pushing me away...he just wanted me to hate him and to go away!! he doest want to hurt both of us anymore!!! what can i do to get him back and forever??! none of us want to change our religion!! its very hard to me to change!!

Thank you and i really enjoyed reading your advices!

Jenny 18 months ago

Hey guys,

I just broke up with my 8 month boyfriend & I could really use some advice.

The reason why we broke up was because he had an addiction to smoking. After six months into the relationship I discovered that he still hasn't quit. I felt so betrayed that i decided to take responsibility to never let him lie to me again. I became very suspicious of him and i made sure I knew what he spent every single penny on. At times, i would even come over to his house everyday for hours just to keep surveillance on him. Things started to go sour when he demanded that I gave him space, after i continued to refused eventually we ended in a nasty break up.

The reason I want to get back with him is because i know that as long as we cooperate and i stay there to support him appropriately, i know that we can fix this. I take responsibility on my part for not giving him almost absolutely no space even if it meant excluding him from hanging out with his friends.

Ever since the break up i know that he checks my personal online blog everyday because of the site statitics and no one knows about the website besides him so i know that he still cares.

I would like to know what i can blog on there that could help me win him over.

Thank your for reading this,

Jenny

cupied  16 months ago

@ ASP19 I am really sorry you feel this way but having sex with someone is no excuse that they will stay with you DO NOT VER DO THAT ... sorry for screaming.

The first rule is dont call or keep in contact , Dont go on his facebook make him realise his mistake and he will come to you.

Try to do other things in your free time and this will make him think that you finally not behaving like your normal conroling person . He will think you changed and he will come back.

Best of luck keep us informed

unhappy  16 months ago

ws daating a guy for a year. recently we have been having problems, h was having problem with his busines nad i hve been pushy with him.. we broke up . he was rude.i snet him a msg sayng i wont forgive him , he replied after insulting and being rude to me that we can be togethr if i can be patient and not pushy. i didnt reply coz he was rude to me.now its been 2 weeks and i miss him and i feel like i have pushed him.. but he insulted me and was rude , i cant get back with him after wht he hs done, unles he apologizes. wed fight before but he would come back immediatly and apologize and make up on the same day... this time its been 2 weeks and he has not come back... wht shall i do... is it really over.. should i contact him..or wait for him to contact.. he was very rude last time., bt i understand he was under stress, but no excuse for him to be rude. wht shalli do . plz advise.

Cupied 16 months ago

Dear Unhappy im really sorry for what you goung throught but you mentioned the word quiet a few times. I think you should jusy give your guy some space so that he realises what he wants. Do something else like try to take your frustration out at the gym

Take care

Cupied 16 months ago

Dear amberrlynnn

Your story seems very sad but girl listen and listen good.

Your guy really does love you but i think he grew up and he doesnt see you as a life partner. If things where so good , im sure someday it will be good again.

I think you spoiling things by making yourself seem desperate. Distance yourself from him completly.

Try not calling, DO NOT TEXT, Dont have contact with him but do other things . Hang out with friends , laught preoccupy yourself with other ppl.

You bf if he really cares will see that you are moving on and not hanging for him and he will be forced to make a decision and your life would not be on hold for him being you are also having fun.

Take care please let us know how it goes

Emz 16 months ago

Hi Essy,

First of all thank you for your brilliant page! I wanted your help, I'm seeing this guy (who i was seeing before we got back together again after some one told him i was heart broken) i really like him, but he has trust issues. One of my guy mates rang when i was staying at his house at silly o clock in the morning, there isn't any thing going on with my mate at all, but the guy im seeing is paranoid that there is, he has since planned to meet me 3 times and stood me up each time and deleted me off Facebook. Today he didn't even call me i waited till 11.30 to ring him to ask whats up and why didn't he bother to cancel. He pretended to be asleep. I don't know what to do he says im being off with him but i'm just preparing for him to leave me every day. I want him to see he can trust me and i can be girlfriend material.

Please please help! i want things back how they were...

Thank you

Jossy 16 months ago

Thank you so much for all the tips but I definitely broke them all, sadly.

I dated this guy for a year, and broke up due to him cheating on me. How could I still know if he has feelings for me. He tells me how much he regrets what he did, and for me to give him a second chance, and ive said yes but then the next day he just disappears and doesnt talk to me until he suddenly sees me and says that wants to hook up and to go out on a date but he just says it and never does it.

What do I do?! I really need help, its been like this for almost 5 month and its hurting me a lot.

At the same time I have the opportunity to go out with another guy, and I dont know if i should.

FOLLOW UP-"Heartbroken" 16 months ago

I'm the type of person that would never go looking for advice online about stuff like this, but last week I was a mess and completely heartbroken without my boyfriend and I found this blog. after reading all the tips you gave, I just want to thank you Essy. This stuff works. I mentioned above that my ex boyfriend was in one of my college classes and so after reading this article I ignored him for 3-4 days and he saw me in class yesterday and sat right next to me, told me that he missed me, and kissed me on the cheek. he then walked me to my car and asked if he could see me later. We talked about our relationship and we're deciding to take baby steps back into our own relationship again. Yesterday, I felt like my heart started working again. It sounds extremely corny but it's so true. Good luck to the rest of you.

-No longer heartbroken

Jeanie 16 months ago

Jossy - wake up girl! This guy is truly using you! He cheats on you, then keeps you on a hook for 5 months. Of course you are hurting, but you are making it so easy for him to keep you in 'casual' status (like there until something better comes along). He would also have lost all respect for you that you would let yourself be treated this way. Don't talk to him, go out with the other guy. If you are not really into the other guy don't lead him on - but go out and have fun. Get some positive attention for yourself. Do not let your cheater-ex know what you are up to - if he cares and is interested he will chase you until he gets you back! Good luck.

Rachelle 15 months ago

Hey gurl!!! Um well of course I have been with this guy before and it was a great relationship! But...I started falling for this other guy that was terrible and let the relationship go. I miss Jacob so much and want him back. I already know what he likes and stuff but I still feel blinded. What should I do? Do you think he will take me back regardless of what I did in the past and how much i seduce him?

Ron 15 months ago

I was in love with a guy but I got married with some else bez of family problems that I had. I been married for 6 years now and my husband is a nice guy and I think he loves me a lot but I still miss my X boyfriend even I know he got married and there is no way we can get together but I cant stop my feeling for him as the day goes by I miss him more and more I don’t know if he loves me still or not I haven’t see him since I got married we are not keep in teach but I emailed him few times 3 years ago but he didn’t reply me back . I am very stress and from the past few years I got too much health problem please help I don’t want to live my life like that I want to move on. Plz plz help me

D 15 months ago

ok so I need help,my boyfriends mom told him to break up with me for no reason and he lied to her telling her him and I didnt have sex, because I was scared and texted his cousin to ask her what I should do and she said she wouldnt tell his mom, but she showed his mom the texts and thats when he lied. And he sent me a message after that "saying its over, we'll never be and I dont feel anything anymore". And that really hurt me. So Idont know what to do.

Brittany (again) 15 months ago

Ben and I started dating in college last year. This month would have been our ten month. We had a break in the beginning of this year and then he wanted me back but then I messed up by going to his house at two in the morning. I was going to spend the night and his mom wasn't too keen on the idea but she said ok but i felt so uncomfortable that i had to go outside and cry. ben followed me and we fought a little i was tired and upset so when i pushed him away his mom came out and was like that is enough. She told me to get in the cab or else she was going to call the police. It was four in the morning by then.

He told everyone that he just didn't want to talk to me and because i was confused they asked do u want her back or that we are totally over but he just said that he just said, i dont want to talk right now. He thinks I broke up with him because before I got into the cab I meant to say so I am guessing we are over? but it came out more of a statement to him. I do not want to be over. Ever since we went on break the last time in the beginning of the year we had tiny fights but nothing two big. It has been almost three months and we were perfectly great. Ben is my best friend not just my boyfriend we are open with one another. we may not be perfect but we worked out. He told me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.

He deleted on face book and changed his relationship status, he has my stuff in his room and he didn't ask for his stuff or anything.

He told me that again like twenty minutes before the break up. he and i talked tuesday and he first told me that he needs space for at least 2 or 3 months and maybe we can stat as friends first then from there on

then 3 hrs later he texts me saying he couldnt give me hope that i hurt him so bad and everything that he just couldn't do it

so he it was over

he texted me back and forth that he just couldn't do it that he was hurt

then i was crying outside he was passing me and stopped because he saw me crying he told me that he couldn't do it because he was hurt again...then told me he was keeping my stuff because he loved it and that he loves me and he still thinks about me... i promised i wouldn't contact his roommates and that i wouldn't contact him for at least two months but i am not giving up and that i still love him and always will

just a month ago we were discussing out wedding plans and when we were getting married and how many kids and how many dogs and what not

what u think of all this?

Also he is in one of my college classes twice a week and lives right next to me in the dorm

Jeanie 15 months ago

Kingbecca1922 - DO NOT TELL HIM YOU WOULD DIE WITHOUT HIM! This is a major turn-off - no guy wants to feel like they are the centre of somebody's world! Seriously! I know it seems to you right now that by telling him he is eveything to you will somehow get him back.

But what is he meant to feel for you? Um, pity???

What you need to focus on right now is you...

Get your life back together, get a job. Either make-up with your best friend, or get a new one!

Get loads of new friends, a new hobby.

If you make yourself happy first, you will be far more attractive to your ex, as he will see it's not him making you happy. This so takes the pressure off, as I said before no guy wants to be the centre of your existence!

Jeanie 15 months ago

Ron, you need to get over your ex. No nice way of saying this one - you are both married to other people now. You haven't even seen your ex.

Want the truth? I think you are not really happy in your marriage - so you are remembering and missing the good times with your ex, instead of really missing him.

Focus on the good memories you have with your husband, and work on making your marriage a happy one!

If you meddle in the past, you could end up making four very unhappy people (and more if any of you have children!).

mizza 15 months ago

my boyfriend dumped me on saturday teatime by facebook, when i was suppose to be seeing him that day. it is the next day and i have been trying to get hold of him all day but had no reply at all. he dumped my because i get depressed at times and paranoid about everything, i started questioning if he loved me or was seeing someone as he started going of we me and didnt want to see me. all i have been doing is crying, i cant eat, and i just want him back, i have been begging him to take me back, said i would do anything possible, that i would change... what am i suppose to do, i think i have blown it, i just want him back i love him so much :(

Brittany (again) 15 months ago

So i already wrote my story but I just need to add that I went to the er today because i had a panic attack i texted him afterwards asking if i can talk to him he texted back asking y i was in the er he texted back that he just couldn't come back to me that it was over. Please help me!!!

Cupied 15 months ago

Dear Gals

Im so sorry that we cant reply to all messages because its so much but if you follow the advise very closely you would realise that it works.

Dont be the typical girl friend . Let him realise that he wants you.

There is also a time in a relationship when you must realise that the other person maybe wants some time alone or they feel its not working out. Let your partner tell you that he /she wants you.

Try to not be pushy and when your partner does try and contact you that doesnt mean that they want you to be exactly who you where or just pick up where you left off..... If you doing that then you are WRONG and you need to stop immediatly.

We all need to stop depending on someone else and try to be independant confident people.

hammy 15 months ago

ok hi thanxs for the video but heres my problem wat if he asked out someone eles but she said no would it still be ok if u tried to get him back?

Rawr 15 months ago

Hi there. Ok this is weird to do but anyways I read your stuff and I'm feeling kinda desperate. It's a long story. We started dating may 2009 and broke up last summer got back together and he broke up with me a few more times. He gave up 3 months ago. 6 months into us dating I dated his friend (that I dated before him but we had literal communication problems and he let the relationship go) for a month because he started talking to me again and I didn't finish losing all feelings for him. Anyways, my ex doesn't trust me anymore and since the first time he broke up with me we've just been on such an emotional roller coaster, rarely getting along and mostly fighting over texting cuz he lives kinda far. We've always had a distance relationship seeing each other once a week. I try to be positive and distract myself so that I'm not texting him all day. I've limited myself to a few hours at night.. Which is prolly too much still. I don't know. He wants me to date other people. He wants us to be friends. He'll sometimes flirt with me. I know I'm special to him cuz he shows me but like I said he doesn't trust me. I'm guessing I should just wait till I get to see him more? Cuz were in highschool and yea. I feel so comfortable with him. Like I'm trying to find other guys but none of them can compare to how I feel with him. It's like comfortable and I just feel great. Friends is fine I guess but I can't hold him just being friends when we do get to see each other. Which hasn't been in almost a year. He has a crush on a girl where he lives and he's hoping it'll turn into more. I'm obviously not. Do I just wait and hope for the best and try to act like it's not killing me? Sorry for writing so much. And not making much sense. It was hard to do this with a dry face.

Cupied 15 months ago

@ Rawr Im really sorry you feel this way and girl your story is a totally different 1. You Ex bf like you as a friend and only as a friend. There are alot of people out there that love someone but thefeelings are not the same. I get what you saying but sweety you must realise that in a relationship trust is very very important. If he doesnt trust you then you shoul automatically know that its never goung to work. Yes in time trust can develope but if he not willing to wait for that time why should you.

You need to enjoy life, hang out with friend and family. Do fun things. Try as must a possiable to keep him out of your mind.You will always remember him but its time you focus on yourself.

You dont have to start dating now.... wait and when you do start dating dont compare them with him because he is different and they are different.

I know its very had hearing this but please let go . If some day you two meet then you can talk and whatever but for now lets start having some time for yourself.

Please keep us informed on how you are

chelseal 15 months ago

I've read your guide to how to get your man back, v good, but I have broken the rules, called once every two weeks, is it too late to adopt the rules, should I plan another course of action? I seem too be too frank, when I'm hurt I've told him. When I'm happy he seems annoyed and it seems to make him distant? advice from anyone please? Be frank please, thanks.

jazz 15 months ago

Hey, so my boyfriend of 2 years dosnt know what he wants anymore, and isnt sure if he wants to be in this relationship. Were still together but were holding on by a string and i dont know what to do. i just want things to be better. please give me some advice on how to pull it back together.

megan 15 months ago

hey essy,

this guide is really helping me stay confident ! though i have a few questions...

what should i do if he still says i love you ?

what should i do if hes telling me to wait for him because he WILL come back ?

& what should i say if he casually texts me like a friend ?

let me know . thanks so much for the advice ! :)

Martina 15 months ago

Hi, great advice! You are so right! But I have to say a lot of break-ups are for good reasons. I have been dumped two times in the past and I was really devastated both times. But after some time I realised that I just have problems ending relationships and that I easily ignore all the bad moments and only think about the good ones. And now I am so glad that the guys were strong enought to see that and decided to break-up, because I would have been miserable if we were still together.

nishta 15 months ago

hey girls,

I have been in your situation before. The problem you are facing now is purely psychological.I have come to know a little bit about male psychology which i wanted to share with you, hoping you might want to know about your ex thoughts in a more open way:)

To reverse the break up you need a strategy, its not easy but believe me its not impossible.

--> Its not begging him to be good, if you do so he will act worse.

JUST WALK AWAY. DO NOT BEG OR CRY.

If you ignore him and let him alone without you interfering in his life. He will soon want to be part of yours.

PLEASE USE THE NC RULE

(NC= no contact)

P.S There is no specific duration of the NC rule. It is a period during which you have to concentrate upon yourself. to liberate yourself from pain and memories. Especially for you to move on without the thought of getting back your ex boyfriend, your ex will be just a bonus to it. :-)

--> At the time of break up, you will be so upset that all thoughts and actions you will take will be WRONG.

However, don't throw your dignity and get your ex back. It will result the opposite of what you have thought and this will push him further away from you.

--> You must know certain words or actions which might attract your ex towards you.

Example:

SIMPLY ACCEPT THE BREAK UP.

At this point you need to show him that you are strong and confident [it is more to your benefit than getting him back].

He wont respect you if you beg him for his love. However,

if you think you broke all the rules don't worry [ i had broken all the rules myself:)]

Then send him a message: "hey you know , i have been acting quite crazy but you are exactly right i agree we should be broken up and its probably the best thing for both of us"

When your ex broke up with you, he was pretty sure you would chasing him, calling him, telling him its your mistake, you love him, you cant live without him and so on.

This would boost up his ego but he would not want you back.

Instead if you reject him/ be cool about the break up/ignore him, he will think of you more.

He:" oh! i expect she would be begging me but its the contrary which is happening. Has she moved on? does not she need me? has she got someone else in her life?".

[I have no intention to dramatize his thought, but it will be something close to that though]

He would not be able to get you off his mind then. He will try to contact you after he realises all these things.

BUT DO NOT JUMP AT THIS CHANCE TO TALK TO HIM.

Just tell him you will think about it and let him know in some day time. ;)

In one line " ACT THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOUR EX EXPECTS"

Best Of Luck,

NISHTA

Anna 15 months ago

Hey Essy!

I read your article, and I thought it was really great! Thanks for posting it. I understand replying back to comments interferes with your personal life, so I totally get it if you have no time to reply to this! But if you do get a chance to read this and help me, it would be greatly appreciated! My ex-boyfriend means so much to me.

My boyfriend and I were good friends for about a year or two before we started dating, and once we did, it was magic! We dated for a little over three months. he would always say the sweetest things to me! I could tell he wasn't lying when he told me he loved me, and that I was the most important thing in his life. We hung out together alot, and we missed each other when we weren't together. Basically, I thought our relationship was perfect. But then one day, completely out of blue (a little over a week after we had the nicest time together on valentine's day!) he just breaks up with me. Says it's not working, and that he felt like "he was the only one doing the work in the relationship to keep it alive." I gave him an explanation for that, and asked why he just ended it without talking about it, and he said because he didn't think talking about the problems would solve them. Also, that his love for me just kind of stopped. He said he doesn't know when exactly, but that it "just kind of did." he said he wants to be friends. We are friendly to each other now, (ex., smiling and waving when we see each other at school (he's 17 and I'm 16, by the way.), but we don't talk).

I don't know what is going through his mind, or if he has completely moved on or not.

All I know is that it's been over a week, and he is still all I think about. I want him back more than anything. And I have no idea what to do.

So please, even if you do not get a chance to read this, Essy, if anyone else does and thinks they know a way they can help me get him back, please let me know.

I was just so so so so happy with him. And when I do that psychology exercise, thinking about us in the future, with his arms around me, I want it so bad. I just miss him so much.

So anyone who can relate, knows how I feel, or knows what to do, comment and help(: it would be greatly appreciated, and I can try and help someone too! (Because lots of my friends say I'm good with relationship advice! Just not my own relationship apparently....) haha.

Thank you(:

stupid 14 months ago

Well I did everything Wrong Wrong Wrong and now I'm alone and hopeless. My ex & I were together for almost 3 years. We were very much in love and then the programs with his adult son began. He focused on his son and he became overwhelmed with that. He told me to give him space & I didn't, I texted, called, showed up to see him, you name it I did it and I did it wrong. He said he loves me & isn't in love with me anymore. I guess I'm the example of how to really screw something you love up. I'm alone and hopeless. We were talking about having a child together and we broke up yesterday. He did tell me that if we were able to become friends, that he would consider still donating sperm to have a child with me. Is there ANY hope for my situation? I did everything wrong and in a moment of arguing he said I scared him. I was only trying to force my point of view, wish I had found this site days ago. I screwed up and need to know if there is any hope? I will see him next Tuesday for sure at a meeting and I want to be different and give him a glimpse of the fact that I realized my mistakes. I truly do love him and want to win him back but the right way. I know I should like a crazy threatening psycho but I'm not. I hope he realizes that too....

Paloma 14 months ago

What exactly do you recomend for people who broke all the rules?

mollie 14 months ago

i really used to like my x boyfriend but when i saw him with this other girl in our year i gave up on him and blanked him and moved on with my life NOW

Sarah  14 months ago

Hi Essy.

I really really want you to reply back to my situation as I feel so helpless. I was dating the love of my life for almost 18 months. We were so happy together for the first year or so...it was heaven. My friends warned me that the "honeymoon" stage wouldnt last forever...but I believed it would. (im only 16 by the way). Everyone assumed we were going to get married. I still love him :(. The last 4 or 5 months of our relationship though...we argued a lot. Just about stupid little things...but we did argue. a lot of the arguing was because I was extremely insecure and I always worried about other girls being prettier. He HATED this. I wish i werent so insecure because now he is done with me :(. He broke up with me kinda out of the blue just 5 days ago :(. He said he needed space and wanted a break and said he didn't want to be in a relationship. He told his friends that he is a lot happier now and he wasn't happy with me. He told me if we got back together it wouldnt be genuine and he knows the fighting wouldnt stop, and he wouldnt be happy anymore. But I KNOW that if he gave me one more chance...i could make him happy again :(. I know i could. i miss him so much...its extremely painful. But i am doing what everyone is saying and trying to act confident. We are in contact though. Hes trying to become friends with me again. But i dont want friends. I want back the amazing times we shared together :(. Would it be a smart move to meet him for lunch in a month or 2 and discuss what went wrong? and ask him for one more chance again? i want to ask him if hes scared of being happy again with me because hes going to college and doesnt want to get hurt. I dont know. :((((((. But im extremely depressed. Before him i was also depressed. Im naturally pessimistic..but with him i found complete happiness. :(. i cannot get over him because now i feel like theres hope that he will want me again. theres no way he doesnt miss me too :(. theres no way. i need him back :( how can i convince him that together we wouldnt fight anymore? AND he could spend time with his friends?

Merideth 14 months ago

Hi! So heres my story

Avia 14 months ago

im 14 and i really want my ex back but he likes another girl but loves me more . he calls her all the time and tells her stuff but he never donr that to me . thats why i broke up , what should i do to make him stop and get back with me , i miss him so much :(

Avia 14 months ago

im 14 and i really want my ex back but he likes another girl but loves me more . he calls her all the time and tells her stuff but he never donr that to me . thats why i broke up , what should i do to make him stop and get back with me , i miss him so much :(

Selena 14 months ago

I have learned that a woman should improve her appearance after the break up. This has always worked for me in the past. Women should also show patience when it comes to getting their boyfriend back. Men are turned off with women who appear desperate.

Sarah 14 months ago

Hey,

Thank you so much Essy!

I learned how to change after the break up. I'm going to try and abide by your guide. Hopefully it'll work

Sarah 14 months ago

Hey Essy,

So here's my story...I hope you can offer some advice to help me:

I'm seventeen and love this guy with all my heart, we were even each other's first, but a few months ago he said he needed his space. We gave it a week and he ended up breaking up with me. For the longest time he wouldn't talk to me so I ended up going out with another guy for about a month to see how the otehr guy reacted. While I was with the new guy my ex seemed like he was trying to get back together. He said that I shouldn't be this other guy's girlfriend and that he and I should hang out. He also kept bringing up our song. After broke up with the new guy my ex and I hung out and hooked up (no sex of any type though). He told me that he really missed me and he was acting like we were back together, singing out song to me and holding my hand and playing with my hair and even calling me beaufitul. Of course I thought that we were going to get back together but after that day we didn't. We continued talking but as of now we barely speak. I honestly don't know what to do! I really love him with all of my heart and no matter what I do I can't stop thinkinh about him.

Please help me Essy! I am at a loss and need help immeiately. Please reply to me with some advice. Thank you so much.

Elizabeth 14 months ago

My ex and I had been going out for a year and a half. He had expressed so many times how much he cared about me and all that jazz. About two months ago he was talking with his parents (he is 18 and still lives with them) and they convinced him that I was not right for him because of my religion. He left and we played the text messaging terrorism. He came back after I mentioned I was simply going to hang out with this guy he used to be jealous of.

However, his parents got to him AGAIN and he left. I convinced him to come back, some what. He was telling me he loved me, but he is "unsure" and getting "bad feelings". I know it is all from the things his parents tell him because their opinion matters more to him than his own. To get his parents off his back I tried writing a letter explaining myself and my "terrible" mistakes to them.

The day before I gave him the letter I asked him, "Do you really want options?" and he relied with "Yeah.... I am not feeling too good......." I told him that I had to leave him for good because I could not play the game anymore. He then told me, "Do not give up hope!! I am going to talk to them about the letter tomorrow." They ended up declining my request to let him make the choice on his own. He is following what they say wholeheartedly.

I know he loves me but his parents really do have a lot of control over him. It is really sickening. I want to convince him that HE loves me and its about time he becomes independent. How do I get him to come back to me? I am so confused!!!

Emz 14 months ago

hi there just wondering what to do when your x bf is still coming to see you, says he is still in love with you but than goes to another girls place that he has only known for a week.

she is apparently madly in love with him but now he is confused with what to do. i only found out yesterday that he been seeing another girl. im so heart broken but still want him back :-(

Sonya 14 months ago

this is my second break up in about 5 months. I love him to pieces but he has some serious issues that he doesn't want to admit -- one being that he is bi-polar. He won't admit he is just because the doctor didn't diagnose him but even his father thinks so because it runs in the family and his dad tried to give him some books on it to help.

Anyways, does this greatly effect how he feels about me? We tried to talk and be friends but it wasn't working out so we cut off contact.

he claims he doesn't want any girlfriend right now, is this the case or is it just a phase? I asked him if it would be alright if I started dating other people, and he was okay with it. Just a quick question, is he serious about what he says or should I just shrug it off and he will come around? It's been about a week or two that we've had no contact. Is it possible to get him back? or is it hopeless?

KK 14 months ago

HI ESSY

I NEED YOUR HELP PLEASE, I AM CURRENLTY WITH MY EX, TOO MAKE A LONG STOREY SHORT HE CHEATED ON ME AND NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT IT, I FOUND OUT FROM SOMEONE ELS, I ALWAYS FIND MY BOYFRIEND DOING THINGS THAT PUT OUR RELATIONSHIP UNDER ALOT OF STRESS / PRESSURE LIKE HE SMSES OTHER GIRLS AND SEND PHOTO'S OF HIMSELF TOO THEM AND THEY SEND PHOTO'S OF THEMSELVES TOO HIM. I JUST DONT FEEL LIKE HE LOVES ME ANYMORE, HE NEVER TELLS ME IM PRETTY, I ALWAYS FIND MYSELF SAYING "I LOVE YOU" FIRST, IF I DONT CALL HIM WE WOULD SPEAK O EACH OTHER... I REALLY REALLY REALLY LOVE HIM AND I DONT WANT TOO LOOSE HIM...PLEASE COULD YOU GIVE ME SOME SUGGESTIONS ON HOW TOO MAKE HIM APPRECIATE ME... I CANT LOOSE HIM, I THINK I WOULD GO INSANE!!!!!

IM DESPRATE ANY HELP WILL BE GLADLY APPRECIATED.

staci 14 months ago

My fiance ended our relationship at 2am on my moms birthday!

We were supposed to get married in two months. My fiance was perfect for me we had so much in common we are so in love. We loved being around each other and did everything together, we had a great relationship then something happened. We started looking for a home to buy that's when his parents stepped in and started looking for us. They found a place that they like but I thought it was a dump I hated it. My fiance and I had an agreement that if we didn't find a home we both agreed on we'd rent till we found a place we both loved. Well his parent pushed this place and I told my fiance they need to take a step back and let us do this on our own (were both 25) I don't mind our parents giving us advice but it should be given if we ask. Anyway we started to fight I said I hated the place they found and he said that his dad thought it had great potential I didn't see it so I called 5 realators who all said there was no way we'd ever get our money back and it wasn't a good investment. But my fiance would listen to me he was just listening to his parents and that upset me. Then I realized he was really relying on them way to much and I pointed that out to him that it looked that way. I said it nicely. He got mad and said I was slamming his parents and I was slamming him. I said no I just feel like your relying to much and listening to what they say over me. I felt like him and his parents were standing together and I was off to the side. I tried explaining that to him but he said if I were off to the said it's cause I put myself there. That made me upset it should have been him and I standing together and deciding this on our own. We it just got worse we continued to fight and he'd vent to his parents that made thing really bad cause they would in courage him that he was right. Then he started calling me selfish, controlling, out to get what want, dis respectful, a slander. And such. I know he doesn't really think that about me. Before this issue he would alway tell me he loved that I wasn't a controlling selfish. And that am a respectful godly woman. Even his parents told me they could I wasn't like that. But after the house thing happened I all I've a sudden became those thing only because I said to him it felt like his parents were butting in and he was allowing then to do so. He would constantly bring up the issue and all we'd do is fight about it. I told him I didn't feeling was being controlling or selfish or do respectful. All I wanted was for is to find us a place to live that we both liked. Anyway we tried to fix the issues we prayed and did devotions. The I suggested that all we could do was to drop the issue and prove to one another that he isn't relying or listening to them over me and I'd show him that I wasn't controlling or selfish. He said ok. Then the next day he told me didn't see a change in me yet. I was like you haven't given it time. He said my attitude towards him wasn't loving . That made me upset. When he would bring up the issue I'd get upset cause he couldn't let it go. He then started telling me he wasn't doing anything wrong the whole issue was me it was all my fault. I felt it was both of us but he didn't feel that way. We went to premarital counselor. One that his dad recommend. Well my fiance didn't seem to like him cause he was making him think for himself and telling how he felt and put him on the spot. He did me the same. We made our next appointment two weeks later to go see him again. My fiance told me the issue was still bothering him and he felt I hadn't change in any way. I told him he's gonna have to stop bringing it up and try to move on with me. He said he couldn't marry me like this with us having. This issue. I agreed and so we were going to postpone the wedding until it was resolved. We both still love each other very much and wanted it to work so bad. Well last Friday we talked on the phone for an hour and the issue came up he said it was still bothering him and he didn't think the counselor could help is and he didn't see the point of going to him. I told my fiance that I believed the counselor could help us. that after all is what he's for. We ended the conversation on a good note. And hung up. I went to bed cause I had to be up at 6:45am. Well he calls me back an hour later at 2am all upset crying I tried to calm him down and he said he felt he had to let me go. I was shocked he just told me in our last conversation he'd fight till the end to make things work with us. He said this was very hard but he wanted to end things I tried to get out of him why and understand it. I mean it was 2am and my moms birthday. I said ok if that's how you really feel I won't fight it. I started to cry along with him and we said goodbye and I hung up. I went in my moms room and broke down I cried till 5am that morning. I didn't understand it.. My mom said that he was being selfish and taking the easy way out. He should have waited to do it in person and at a better time. Well needless to say I didn't sleep that night and was a wreck the next day at work. Thankfully I'm a nanny and I could cry all I wanted which I did all day. Its been 3 days and I'm hurting so much. I don't understand. We were so in love and 100% sure that we'd spend our lives together. Everywhere I go I see things that remind me of him. I know he's hurting too. I know he didn't really want to call off our relationship. I feel he was pressured to from his parents. I'm an uncontrollable faucet of tears. What hurts so bad is I am so in love with him and he is still so in love with me. I miss him so much. It feels in a way that we haven't broke up just that were separated for a while. I guess cause he ended on the phone.  What should I do?  I want the guy he was before our issue not the guy he was when he ended us. I feel he just gave up on us. I deleted my facebook cause there are so many pictures of us and comments from him i can't bring myself to delete the pictures of him off. It's been 3 days and he hasn't change anything on his profile he still has that he's engaged and his profile pic is still us. Please give me advice on what I should do? I've never hurt like this before. It's killing me. I can't sleep I can't eat I don't feel like doing anything.  Should I try and get him back? I text him right after he ended us and the next day when o caught my breath and cleared my head I re read the text and it was mean. So I text him a second time telling him that I am hurting and I am so sorry if my first text hurt him. That's all I've done. Any advice from anyone on what I should do? I would love to have him back. How would I get him back if I never really see him and we don't really share the same friends. What would y'all do?

Mary 14 months ago

What do you recomend for people that have to see their ex boyfriends every day at school?

BarbC 14 months ago

Hello,

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and have known each other for 3. We have always been best friends and last friday he tells me he isnt happy with our relationship anymore and wants to end it. We live together and now I have to move. I still love him endlessly and want him back!!! I have called him and he talks to me but keeps repeating "we are not together anymore" after every sentance. Its driving me crazy like salt on the wound. How can I fix this??? I want to spend the rest of my life with this man, he is my honest to goodness one true love. HELP..........

MusselGuy 14 months ago

Hey, heres another tip to get your boyfriend back, check out this Marketing video made by some university students to market "You Romantic Rescue". Its pretty funny, check it out!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6UtVrmkXt0&feature

bribear 14 months ago

hey... so im a teen and me and my boyfriend have been going out for almost two months now.. at first everything was great, he was real sweet and lovey-dovey to me but then after awhile he seemed to lose interst in me. also, there were a lot of times where i acted too over dramatic and i would assume things like he was lying to me about stuff and i would complain that he wouldnt show me enough affection.. WHICH HE WOULDNT. he would tell me he loves me but then doesnt show it.. actions speak louder than words. so i kind of have a reason to be emotional right? cuz hes acting so strange like he wants nothing to do with me. so im the one who breaks up with him. i told him that things were getting awkward between us and cuz he would never talk to me about us and how our relationship was going downhill... so i ended it... i never really wanted to break up with him to begin with but i just couldnt take all the drama anymore. now i regret what i did and i want him back but he still wont let me talk to him and he wont even answer my txts.... the night i broke up with him my cousin txted him asking if he loved me (she was just curious) and he said "idk".... what does he mean idk?! its like our whole relationship just took a steep downward spiral and quickly too.. help me please... this may sound confusing but im confused so thats why i need advice! haha

llara 14 months ago

well i am in school and my ex broke up with me in front of evryone his name was Karim Cole and i still love hime help me

michie 14 months ago

well i broke up with this boy because my parents found out we were dating he isnt the goody goody kind of guy. but we have known each other ever since he always wanted to ask me out until one day he did and it lasted for a week because my parents dont like him but his parents yes and by the way the bad thing is that he is in another country. but i go there like 2 times a year. but anyways its a long-distance relationship and he i try tlkin to him why doesnt want to talk to me anymore :'( and he wont give me a reason why even though our friends also ask him like a million times. and he always tries to make me jealous. i personally dont know what to do plz help me and i really love him but i had to sey i didnt and everyday i get feelings for more and more but i also like this polish dude in class but i dont know which one because the polish one treats me well he huggs me in class and everything but i like he one from the other country PLEASE HELP !!!!!

Lee 14 months ago

Hi Essy.. a little help here please..

so my bf is annoyed by me because i was pushing him on something eventhough i know he's busy. after that incidents he never text me for 3 days. On the fourth day, he texted me saying" if anything happens, please promise me u finish ur study and assignment". I replied " what do you mean? are u sayin u want a break up?" And then he replied "maybe". then he never msg me again. i know he's really busy. What do you think with the word "maybe"? Is he really wan t a break up? If he does. What should I do. I really2 want him, he's a great guy.

Thanx Essy..

Jojo 14 months ago

Hi Essy.. a little help here please..

so my bf is annoyed by me because i was pushing him on something eventhough i know he's busy. after that incidents he never text me for 3 days. On the fourth day, he texted me saying" if anything happens, please promise me u finish ur study and assignment". I replied " what do you mean? are u sayin u want a break up?" And then he replied "maybe". then he never msg me again. i know he's really busy. What do you think with the word "maybe"? Is he really wan t a break up? If he does. What should I do. I really2 want him, he's a great guy.

Thanx Essy..

zzzzzzzzzzzz 14 months ago

wow wow wow

marinechica 14 months ago

i really need help.... do my boyfriend and i have lost our love and im trying so hard to gain it back....its like we have broken up already. how do i do this?

katidwell 14 months ago

Wow, you are such a wonderful person for tyring to help out people with broken relationship.

Well, my ex and i recently broke up, and all the rules that you'd said not to do to get your boyfriend back, I've done it all. I called him, texted him, always telling him I'm nothing with out him, and etc. He keeps telling me he there is no way were getting back together again and its his final decision, or what i was doing will certainly not get him back. He told me to give him more time, but he's not planning to think about making our relationship work.

When my ex boyfriend and I were still dating, I treated him really bad. I was a jealous girlfriend, which i should not have been. I took controlled of him and wouldn't let him talk to girls, not even look at them. and when he do, we always end up arguing. I always accuse him of cheating on me or wanting to do things with other girls. yes, i was a crazy girl. I had trouble trusting him, but then he trusted me so much that I took advantage of him. I went on and did whatever i wanted to do while he sits at home and not look at girls. I was horrible. This went on for 3 years and eventually throughout the relationship, I have gotten better and was starting to treat him right bit by bit, but I guess it wasn't still enough and he decided to break it up with me.

I was ok with it at first, but as time goes by I became desperate, and that was when all the texting and calling him started.

The good thing is, i recently stop doing that. Just today, I haven't text or call him the whole day and he just texted me now saying he's hoping that i'm ok and he knows the message he sent me makes me happy, not sad and that he wanted to say goodnight. Should i go ahead and act like i have no interest in him and not text back, or what should i do?

louhanrahan 14 months ago

me and my long term partner of a wonderful 2 years, broke up last October 2010 and i was 7 weeks pregnant. i am now 28 weeks pregnant and we are still not together. We met in Nov 2008 and were together since October 2010. im 26 and he is 7 years my junior but we were in love like mad. we have lost 2 babies already in the 2 years we were together. he has a new girl now but I do not know how serious it is. Im pregnant with his daughter and I love and miss him like crazy and would do anything to have him back. A lot of people say that he is probably scared and some say he will return when his baby is born, i want to believe them but I don't want to be heartbroken again. He is the only guy I want and I think about him constantly and it's harder that I am 28 weeks pregnant and feel alone. what do I do? will there be a me and Joe again?

Kacie 14 months ago

Essy,

My boyfriend and I broke up almost two years ago. I was talking to him a few months ago and I found out he dated me just to get him to stop liking him. It definitely didn't work. But I talked to him about it and it made me feel a lot better just talking to him and talking about what happened. The thing is we broke up at the high school football game, all our friends watching. I started crying and he just kind of watched. I still love him and really miss him. He's friends with one of my friends and she told me that just yesterday he said he that I was mad that she sat with him instead of me sitting with him. But while he was talking about me, he was staring at my butt. Talking to that friend and another friend I told them I didn't think he'd try to save me if I was about to get seriously hurt...he told another friend of mine he hated me, which I believe. I'd like to think if I was about to die or get really injured, he'd try to save me or help me. My friends think he would, but I'm pretty sure he wouldn't. After him being my best friend to my ex-boyfriend that hates my guts...I don't know what to believe. He knows I still love him. Truthfully, I think he still loves me too but doesn't want to and tries to hide it. Essy, what do I do?

Kacie.

Sisi 14 months ago

Hi Essy, I was wondering if you can help me. I run by chance to your website by google-ing how to get your ex back. I really like your advices.

here is my story and dont know how to deal with it. My boyfriend and I used to be together for 4 years, with some pauses in the middle cuz either me or him went abroad for more than 5 months. this year we have been for 5 months together and suddenly he decided not to contact me any more after a disagreement we had to make our relationship official and he didnt feel comfortable to do that. so i didnt contacted him for some days. after a weak he publish on facebook that he is in a relationship with another girl, i dont know if this was real or was with intention to hurt me. so i didnt do anything,not texting him, not calling him, nothing, even deleted him from facebook and all online communications. Well the point is that I do miss him, I cried a lot but still decided not to let him know that I am suffering, the problem is that in daily life we dont see each other cuz we live in different areas of the city and work and school, or common friendship do not connect us. do you think should I apply as well this techniques you already mentioned or should i do something else to have him back?

Best regards

SISI

Mimi 14 months ago

Is it worth it though? If ur bf is going to let the relationship die, why should u try so hard to fix it while he's just thinking about himself and his needs? I doubt he's on the internet looking up "how to communicate better with my gf" you know? While here we are trying everything we can to make things right again, looking up every website with advice. I mean, if after two years they just want to drop u why should we fight for them back? They obviously dont care, right? Or is it just human nature for things to dissolve and for women to fix it again. I dunno, makes me very sad tho.

backwithboyfriend 14 months ago

From a mans perspective, you have already been fighting to get him back for over two years, now there is a word for this behaviour it's LOVE, i mean if you love him enough to fight for him for two years clearly you can fight for two more....or am i wrong?

Keep fighting for Love.

kayla  14 months ago

Hey I was wondering if you cud help me, my boyfriend has recently broke up with me after being with me for 2 years it was a long distance relationship and i think that could be the cause of the break up but i shud be moving closer to him so i jus wanna get back with him as i really do love him. His reason for breaking up with me was not very clear as it didn’t make sense as he text me saying ‘that is wat he wants’, he was being very calm about it but as it was done through text im not sure, but before he actually broke up with me, he ignored me for a whole week and I don’t know why he ignored me, as we were talking fine one night and then he just disappeared, I was worried about him in the week as he didn’t contact me and at this point we were still together but he didn’t text me back, but he did pick up a call I made but that’s only because I think he was half asleep when I called him but what he said was not very clear it was something like ‘ I keep calling him and its annoying him’, and after that he switched his phone i ignored him for 2days but then i texted him asking him if we were over and i think i must of annoyed him as i kept texting him and then he replied after hours that ‘it’s better i leave him alone from now on...take care of myself’ i texted him again the next day as i felt he didn’t give a good reason but he replied that is the reason and i need to accept it and told me to drop it now and since then i haven’t contacted him and its been 4days i don’t know wat else to do i really want him back please help me .... x

mina 13 months ago

hey here, ma name is mina

i wanna get ma x bf back....bt he does not lives in ma country.i really want him.we had brokeup frm last 7 days.as he is nt here he cnt see me.bt we have 2 mutural(comon) friends.so what to do i dont know.....plz help me......

purplek 13 months ago

Hey i could really do with some advice.

My boyfriend broke up with me on valentines day. I'm still crazy about him. Ive tried to move on but i can't. really want to win him back. please help!! its driving me insane. i need 2 know what i could do to make him want me back. i dont know why he broke up with me in first place. i mean we used 2 argue but all relationships involve arguments. right? we've hooked up a few times since. quite a lot actually. i really need 2 know how to win him back. please help

kind regards

purplek

Jessi 12 months ago

Hey well i started dating this guy in 2008 and it was the best 2 and a half years of my life, well to cut a long story short, his friend was interested in me and this guy and i were having a few problems and i suppose i strayed and this was 4 months ago, i left my bf for his friend and now it has been 4 months and i broke up with the new guy today brcause i realized that it was not getting me anywhere if i did not feel anything for him because I LOVE MY EX. But he has moved on we still chat but i dont know if he misses me at all, how di i tell i need serious help guys!!!

chandre 12 months ago

hey i need help.my boyfriend broke up with me and i began stalking him but he took me back but i felt a sense of emptynes.we broke up again.help plz.i dint call him yet

Aditya 12 months ago

Hey,

i broke up with my girlfriend on 1st April 2011, she said that she wanted to study.but now i got to know my friend that she went for a movie with a guy who used to propose her everyday even after knowing that i was committed to her.she used to talk to me even after breakup,but just a week back she told me that we cannot continue like this and she broke up permanently saying that she wont call me or text me.she gave the reason that i did not support her when she needed me the most.a week before i accepted the breakup,but i begged alot and tried to convince.even when she used to call me i used to cry and ask for forgiveness.then once i asked that do you like someone else? she said “maybe” and i was shattered after hearing that it was the same guy who used to propose her.our mutual friend told me that they are not committed.but i’ve done every thing which i was not supposed to.but i never abused her and never said anything against her.but when her friend told me that they went for movie,then suddenly i abused that guy whom she went with,i dont think so that my friend will tell anything to my ex… but i have no idea.do you think that i’ve any chance of getting my ex back? please help.what should i do?now she has removed me from facebook also.and i tried to col her once to know why she did that,she just cut it of.and we have 2 mutual friends and none of them is picking up my call.actually when i met one of the mutual friend yesterday she told me that my ex went for movie with that other guy…and i abused that guy in front of that mutual friend.i guess she has told her this thing.what can be done? help if u can.please! and now i want to send her a handwritten letter stating that i’am accepting the breakup and i was crazy but sorry about that,now i’am cool and calm.but her mutual friends are not willing to help me and i cant post the letter at her house because her parents can read it.so what should i do to make the 1st move?

BrookeB 12 months ago

Hi Essy!

I love the tips you gave- honestly- i am determined-

i hope you have time to give me advice on my unfortunate situation-...!

So my Boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years! lived together for 4 years

I am a very jelous person and love attention so when he went out with his friends i would always want his attention-bug him-text him call him( where r u, who r u with etc..) he has warned me before of this and that i need to stop AND I KNOW I NEED TO. im just insecure alot and he is so amazing a really good person. good man!

He went away for the weekend to our home town and i was excited for him then got like jelous he wasnt calling me or answering my calls or giving me the attention i wanted.. so when he came home on the sunday i didnt like run to him and hug him or show him i missed him as much as i did..i went to fold the laundry and ask about his weekend

then later on that night we were kinda arguing and i asked if he wanted to break up and he said yes..he seems very FIRM on this descion and we have to live together for another 2 months before we can move.. We sleep in the same bed with separate blakets( his idea) we talk like normal frieneds sometimes.. he says he misses me and loves me and wishes he could touch me but he says he cant. He says ill never change0 I WILL!! IM OLDER NOW i want to change and i am determined to change i am done with being jelous and ive told him this but he doesnt beleive me..

but he says stuff when we talk like he doesn't wanna get over me.. and this is hard, and hes gonna be lonely.

Essy!--we were SO CLOSE. WERE BEST FRIENDS everyone was shocked to hear we broke up. i swear were meant to be!! i know he loves me so much

i think he maybe be scared of our 5 year anniversary ( 5 year itch) he says he tired of "it"( my jelousy)

its so hard i thought we were gonna be together forever-- the amazing sweet things he says and writes in his cards are the best like nothing will ever get in the way of our love he wants to be with me for ever etc..... strongest bond we have!!

what do i do1? its almost been 7 days.. i havent cried infront of him in 2 days. but he knows how hearbroken i am and i tell him i want him back and how he needs to relax and think about his desicion.... he says he needs space and time

how do i do that? WE LIVE TOGETHER!!? i dont wanna ignore him but what the heck?..im so lost i dont wanna push him away i just want him back..were so amazing together honestly! i am gonna show him i am gonna change!!

Thanks ESsy!!!

Emsiie :) 12 months ago

Hi Essy :)

Thank you soo much for this amazing article. I think its great that you have done this and its always better to hear from another persons past experiences. My relationship with 'him' didnt last very long before he broke it off saying 'I just wanna be friends.' I thought I was gonna be fine and for a week or so now I have but then it hit me a couple of days ago, how much I miss him etc...I think I wil get through it..but it is obviously going to take some time and I will DEFFO use all you're tactics :) Thank you so much again and I wish you all the best of luck in all the articles you post in the future :)

Raylne:) 12 months ago

Hey Essy:)

Please help me, me and my (ex)boyfriend have been going out for 5 months (this friday) and he tells me yesterday, that he still loves one of his ex's that he has a strong past with.. And he asked me today If I would give him a week to find himself and to make his decision, and until he makes his decision, he wants to remain really amazing friends.. Please help I dont know what to do.. He's the first guy I've been with in 5 years and the first guy I've fallen in love with. I've fallen very hard too, I just really really dont wanna lose him, Our relationship has been great, we havent even had one argument or disagreement. I just want him to choose me, and us be happy again.. Please Please help.. I really dont wanna lose him :(

briana 12 months ago

well, im in quite a situation. im honestly confused and have no clue whats happening. me and this guy were never really offically dating but, we might as well have been. we were talking for about 7 or 8 months and i really did fall in love with him, and he claimed to have loved me as well, i didnt just love him as a romantic intrest i also loved him as a friend too. but about a month ago, one day out of the blue, he stopped texting me and calling me, when i say out of the blue i mean one day hes telling me how much he loves me and LITERALLY THE NEXT DAY the no contact started.when i ask whats up, he acts like he has no clue what im talking about and when i try to text him, yea, we text for a while, but eventually he wont respond. i still care about him and i dont want to lose his friendship, hes such a huge part of my life and a good friend, but i dont want to annoy him? maybe he just needs space to think for a while? IDK im so lost. can you tell me whats going on and what should i do? i want him back, if not as a boyfriend, as a friend. i truely miss him :/

Emily 12 months ago

Hello, I could really use some advice from anyone.

Well, three days ago me and my boyfriend of 9 months broke up unexpectedly. His reasons being a combination of him now living 2 hours away and that I deserved better. However, this wasn't the first time. We had previously split for the same reasons, but I managed to play the cards right and after about two months he was begging for me to take him back again. I don't think I can play the same game again, he would already know what I'm up to and it's too risky. Since the break up I haven't made any contact with him, and he hasn't make any contact with me. Where do I go from here? I cannot be seen as the needy one, but there is no way I'm going to come across him because we don't live locally to each other. Is there still hope? I really do love him. The only mutual contact we have is through his best friend (who's a guy) but I can't make it too obvious that I'm "using" this guy to get through to my ex. Help!

Anastasia 12 months ago

Wow this helped me a lot. I broke up with my boyfriend, then we got back together for two weeks, now he dumped me. I just imagined myself crying in front of him and begging him to take me back. I realized through this that I would have been stupid to do that. I am thinking about taking salsa lessons now! My mom also said to start making more guy friends and surround yourself with guys so that my ex will be jealous. I hope it works, because I can not wait for me to be in his arms again! Thanks again.

someguy 12 months ago

this actually works so well, I read this out of interest to see what women think the best way to get a guy back is and this is spot on. my gf did exactly whats written here and it killed me and made me realise what an idiot I was being

ishaani 12 months ago

hey..

me n my bf broke up just recently abt 2 months now.. v were dating for abt 2 years n we were having a lot of fights about he not giving tym and attention.. n he had problems wid me being busy wid my frnds n al..

n then v finally broke up..

but the biggest prob wid me is that he is dating some1 but he tells me that she is a mistake n he really loves me but she is his very old frnd so he doesnt really wanna hurt her feelings n all..

and i saw the video.. but he calls me every day n v text all day n night.. n he tells me he loves me.. but somtyms he just looses it n tels me that he is finding it hard to cope up wid the situations and he shudnt b teling me all that..

so what shud i do in such a situation??

Taylor 12 months ago

Hey my email is taylorradick@yahoo.com please email me im going through a very emotional time and im only 13 haha so please email me:)Thanks, bye

Ashley 12 months ago

wow so i've done all the things that were said NOT TO DO!!! my story is i broke up with my boyfriend and only a day later i realized it was a huge mistake and called him over and over and text him over and over telling him how much i loved him and wanted him back thinking of course it would make him come back...when in fact it only pushed him farther away. Eventually we began talking again and hanging out a lot but it just felt different so again I told him I was done, now hes back to ignoring me and I've showed up at his house like a stalker and called him and text him over and over again thinking it would be romantic but now learning its the complete opposite!! please help me i feel like I've already crossed that line of clingy and there's no turning back!! do I still stand a chance of getting him back??? my email is ashleybmk@hotmail.com please contact me in desperate need of help!!! :(

Ashley 12 months ago

wow so i've done all the things that were said NOT TO DO!!! my story is i broke up with my boyfriend and only a day later i realized it was a huge mistake and called him over and over and text him over and over telling him how much i loved him and wanted him back thinking of course it would make him come back...when in fact it only pushed him farther away. Eventually we began talking again and hanging out a lot but it just felt different so again I told him I was done, now hes back to ignoring me and I've showed up at his house like a stalker and called him and text him over and over again thinking it would be romantic but now learning its the complete opposite!! please help me i feel like I've already crossed that line of clingy and there's no turning back!! do I still stand a chance of getting him back??? my email is ashleybmk@hotmail.com please contact me in desperate need of help!!! :(

Sara 12 months ago

hey i'm the one who broke up with my ex, but do your advices works even if i'm the one who break up ??

Rachael 12 months ago

I have just read your rules and I have an odd situation. My ex just left ast week, cleared out his things and left n the middle of the day no note nothing. He sent me a text a few hours later when I got home just saying I'm sorry. We have been going back and forth over the past few days and he keeps saying it's over then changes his mind and says he still wants to see me. Anyway it escalated, I begged, well you get this point. Then I was reading some articles online giving the rules today> I had gotten an email this afternoon with a private invitation to an event I was sure he would want to attend. Considering that he said it was over I posted on my facebook asking if anyone would like to go with me. My edx is no longer on my friends list but I keep my profile public for work reasons so this means he has been looking at my wall this entire time. One of my male friend responded and my ex posted something on my wall which was unappropriate and immediately deleted. (sorry for the spelling errors). This lead to him calling me asking me why it was deleted and then telling me he did it to make me feel good. Then the texting started and he said he was going to go out and get laid because that would keep me from popping into his head. Which lead to a phone call saying things were truly over and he was getting picked up in 10 minutes, my phone number was blocked from his phone and he never wants to talk to me again. Even though he was the one who was contacting me.

Just some quick background on our relationship and where he says it went wrong. We have been together for 7 months and all of this started last thursday so it hasnt been very long. He has a tendancy to make rash decisions as do I when I am in a state of exhaustion and highly emotional. Were both strong dominating people but I am the bread winner which I don't mind and he is currently looking for another job because he was laid off from his lat one. He feels inferior to me because of this and also says that we fight too much. I have tried to explain to him we fight so much because all f the responsibility is on my shoulders. I have a full time career, go to school full time and am currently looking for a better position out of state. All of which he knew before we got serious.

Anyway, as this is already long winded enough, did I do the right thing by putting an open invitation out there for this event? Have I pushed too far? What do I do now? Please email me when you can. moonsence2001@gmail.com

laura-anne  11 months ago

Hi there,

I really enjoyed reading your piece but i just wonder if u can help me as im in a right mess.

My ex split up with me just 7 days ago and said he wanted to be friends and said that he didnt feel the same anymore. To cut a long story short we were going out for 15 months and during this time we have been through cancer and a termination(his choice).

We have been through so much to chuck it away like he wants but can i get him back?

I started the gym and another job so i am keeping myself busy but he hasnt called or text me. I have seen him in passing for five mins and he asked how i was but nothing else.

How can i get him back? Im not the same without him and i do believe he is the man for life.

I really need help in getting him back.

Please help me out of this massive whole im in.

lauraanne1984@hotmail.co.uk

maria 11 months ago

hi, i was really checking out on things that could help me get my man back. we've been together for 6 years, and broke up barely 2 months ago.. he said that he is tired of arguing and explaining things to me.. we had trust issues before and have been going on... and then after a month after we broke up, he is "dating" another girl from the same place he's working, plus, that is the girl that he tells me he has a cruch on before we broke up, im really desperate to get him back, so what shall i do. i've broken the rules so far... help please,

Jenny 11 months ago

I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years and a half, he broke up with me 6 days ago and I'm devastated...I called him and had a fight with him and he deleted me from his life...watching your video made me feel better, even though there's no chance for me to get back to him.

Great job, every time i feel bad I will watch your video.

Thank you for making me feel better :)

alex 11 months ago

I love the video. I love your voice. And I love how everything rev olves around the secret. I always say, I will start aplying the secret. :) I always do, until someone messes with my levels. :)

Anyway, there's this guy... I was with him for 1 1/2 yr, 3 years ago. I did not love him. I was involved emotionally with someone else. We broke up and remained good friends.

Now, I fell in (deep) love with him, I love him so much it ACHES. I told him.

He is now (karma...) involved with another girl, who has cancer, is quarantined in a hospital, her house was destroyed by a tornado and her father had a heart attack!!! They never saw each other, the relationship is online, but his plan is that when she'll get out from the hospital, they will marry and live together a couple of months until she dies (stage 3 limfatic cancer...). This story is so unbelievable, but it is tru (I saw eMail exchanges, etc.), and I want him, but I am sure that if he'd quit her for me, I'd dispise him right now. I love him because he doesn't do the same thing that I did in the beginning.

But, on the other hand, I don't wanna be #2 (he told me that this is the only reason for which we don't get back together), and I am not good at being patient.

I have bursts of violence, I declare cold wars of closed communication, etc., but usually, I am cool with it, except for the fact that I sent him a CV applying for the role of his gf, and that I wrote him a book of 36 pages of poetry...

HMMMM... I really do love him, and my problem is not how to get him back, but how to survive this crappy situation that I'm in... I thought of leaving the country...

Bella 11 months ago

Hi Essy! My name is Bella and me and My boyfriend broke up today. After three month together with both lovey dovey and fighting he broke up, telling me he loved me very much but thinks we are to different and dosnt like all my personality traits. Still, I feel that we are giving up to easily cause I love him, more than Ive ever loved anyone. He is not my longest relationship, actually My shortest but Ive never felt this much. What on earth should I do?? We also have à hard time understanding each other sometimes, Im also religious you see. Im so lost.. Please if you have any advice to give I would be greatful. Best regards, Bella

Itunes50 11 months ago

Hi guys Essy I know you're no longer answering but I would like all the girls out there to know that I wanted to break up with my BF I gave it a couple of days and I still wanted to. Well the best thing you can do is tell him before you tell all your friends. I made a mistake of doing that. Now you see girls a prone to just blah blah blah about what you say. See this is where it messes things up. If you're telling all your friends what do you expect them to do? Gossip about, if that was your answer you're right. So, I was talking to 1 friend about it then another then a couple more and on and on. So I was talking to yet another friend :p! Her sister was eavesdropping the first I caught and sent her away the second time I didn't notice her. She heard me talking about how I wanted to turn my boyfriend into my ex boyfriend. She went up to him and yelled "Hey dude she wants break up with you!" So of course he was probably embarresed I mean we didn't even get a chance to talk about what we were going to say to the people. Now these 2 parts are very awkward. 1: His brother is a councelor at our camp so you know how awkward that would be.... 2: He is always hanging around me and my friends and hes flirting with them right in front of me! Alot of you would say Oh my gosh I cant he would do that. It is a common thing!!!!!!!!! So everytime he's around me and my friends it is so awkward I get up and just walk away! But I am starting to have feeling for him again. I really wanna get back with him! Now Essy I realize you are not responding anymore. But this is obviously a huge problem so if you see this please reply! Or anyone else with advice is welcome to reply as well! PLEASE HELP!!!!!!

Gen886 10 months ago

Hey Essy,

I have been broken up with my ex for a yr now and i have broken all the rules!!! I am still friends with him and spend pretty much 5/6 days out of the week seeing him. I keep calling him and asking about what went wrong with our relationship. All he says is we were not compatible. He gives me mixed messages because if other guys give me attention he gets jealous and shuts down but he still doesn't want to get back with me. We have a lot of chemistry because a fortnight ago he kissed me and we got very physical (which was a one off) and he kept saying things like I am so confused and how hard it was to get over me. He still looks out for me always and is more affectionate in some ways where he will open the car door for me or carry my bag and etc BUT he still says we are not right for eachother.

During the time we broke up he was spending more time with this girl and he is still friends with her but that is all. He feels like he isnt in the right head space to be in a relationship after he hurt me so much he says.

It's so confusing because he doesn't want to be with me but he treats me so well and he still comments on things that I wear mostly compliments but sometimes he will say things like "oh you shouldnt wear that because other guys will drool over you." My friends say he has no right to tell me what to wear as it is not his business.

After reading your 3 advice, I do agree that I need to be strong and stop contacting him. I need to limit my contact with him which I will strive to do from now on and I will keep myself distracted.

I guess Im confused. Is there still hope for us? It's been a year now and nothing has changed but nothing has changed becuase I have always been around there being his friend but now i realise I do really love him and want to be with him. Is there any other advice????

Thanks

Tyme 10 months ago

Alright, I need some advice...I've been with this man for 2 years now, and everything has gone great. People envy our relationship, and hope to find something like it. Randomly about two weeks ago he asked me to move out. I was confused, and acted VERY emotionally to the whole thing. about a week later, I tried talking to him, we decided on a break. Another week past, and he says we should break up... I just want this man back in my life, I love him so much, and I've always pictured spending the rest of my life with him. I've made so many mistakes along the way though, Crying, begging, professing my undying love for him...I've become a human door mat...

He claims that he's been uncertain about his feelings for me, and has been starting to think of me as more of a friend. I DO NOT FEEL THIS WAY. I don't want to just be friends with him, and I don't think I could ever stand to see him with another woman, ever...I love him. (DUH) I guess I'm just looking for some advice from someone on what to do, and how to get him back to me.

Annie 10 months ago

My boyfriend broke up with me after 5 years. He said hes not sure hes in love with me anymore, and that he needs time to take care of himself. I gave up and called him the next day of the break up and he said he was gonna call me today but he didnt. And I hold and didnt call him either. I hope this works because I really love him, Im 28 and I dont want to start all over again with another guy. Wish me luck.

Gen886 10 months ago

Annie,

I think this will work for you because he just needs time to figure himself out. I think guys need that time sometimes... You just need to give him time and he will come around... I seriously think the win him back method will work for you guys. Not sure about me and my situation though.... I think I may have stuffed up EVERY situation possible!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been broken up with my guy for 1 yr now and I have been on his back on and off for that time... He keeps telling me he needs time away and i do give him that but then I get all emotional and call him... SUCH A BIG NO NO I know.. but i still keep on doing it. Its hard coz I am still really good friends with my ex coz we still do the same sport as eachother....

nicole 10 months ago

Please, I need an advice...

My boyfriend and I broke-up two days ago. I thought I can take it and I even told him I can move on and I'm strong but it's been two days now and I'm hurting so bad. I love him so much yet how can I win him back after telling him that I hope to find the right guy for me. He is the jealous type but I miss him so much.

Anne 10 months ago

I need your help alsooooo...

It's about a very complicated situation...I had/have a bf, we were together for more than 4 years, we don't live together because my situation is a little bit more complicated that it should, but this really doesn't matter right now. He was like a doggy, doing everything that I told him to do, pleased me, when I wanted to leave him he was desperate calling and sending me offlines and texts. I'm sure that he loved me but I try to controll him a lot, make him depend of me and he didn't have other friends than mine..of course I made a lot of mistakes: didn't trust him, asking him "why you are like this, look to the others", fighting with him for every every small reason...I was just stupid!!! Two weeks ago he told me that I started to be annoying and not the same girl I used to be ("smart and funny") :(

But the worst thing is that at the gym he met a girl...she slept at his place two nights ago and he is swearing me that wasn't anything between them, she is just funny and he is missing that from me so he dated her...I cried and I asked him how he could do this to me knowing how many sacrifices I did for him and he was trying to calm me down and to tell me that he loves me but he is tired of my fights and to stop accusing him cause he didn't do anything wrong...yesterday we spent it together and we had fun just that he was a little bit stressed cause he have to buy gifts for his family cause today he is leaving (he is from another country and is studying here)...I tried to behave normal but I couldn't help myself not to accuse him of cheating me...last night I called him and he answered but was very weird, like trying to cut the conversation and said that he is tired and want to sleep...after 2 hours he become online on messenger, stayed about 3 or 4 minutes and signed out...I'm sure 100% that he was with her...

I'm desperate and don't know what to do...my heart is telling me to go and to "fight" with him :D but I've read that is the worst solution...what should I do? How to behave? How to be more funny? What to do??? Do you think that I can repair or to leave this relation almost broken? Plssss help me :(

Lindsay 10 months ago

My boyfriend broke up with me and I really want him back. I don't even understand the break up myself. He lied to me about where he was and when I confronted him about it, he continued to lie about it and got angry. I then left and he sent me a text message telling me that he is done and that we should break up. I texted him all this lovey dovey stuff want because it's not what I wanted - he hasn't replied me since. I haven't tried to contact him for the last few days but I really get tempted to. I love him so much and I just really want him back.

Samantha 10 months ago

The thing is with my ex, he's always been the kind to just not even try. He hears I'm out with other guys, he immediately thinks, "She's moved on with her life so she doesn't want me anymore" Then he leaves it alone. It makes me think that he doesn't care enough to try, but I don't know if he's just that way or if he really just doesn't care.

Jennifer 10 months ago

Hey Essy,My ex and I have known each other for about 10 years and dated for 4 months. I started noticing that he was not treating me the same way he did before and it freaked me out because I thought something was wrong. I got upset with him for taking 2 hours to call me back because he become lazy with returning my calls and answereing them as well, when before he was always proactive in this department. I feel like I was just scared of things changing, so I kept trying and instead I pushed him further away so he decided that he wanted us to go back to just friends. This hurt me because he had always stated how much he loved me and how long he had loved me and now it felt like he was just dropping me. Any way I should up at his house upset at 3:00am. We talked but he was still very upset with me. The next morning came and we walked out of his house and he did not say anything to me barely and just left for work and that has been the last time we have spoke. I feel like I overracted and should have just given him his space and now it feels like he just gone completely,I have not contacted him since. Do you think that I will be able to get him back and does he still love me or did he ever love me or just the idea of me... I am just wondering how you drop someone you loved for so long who knows they made a mistake and you are not willing to allow them a second chance. Anyway just curious for some input. Thanks

laureash2011 9 months ago

Hey! i need some help :(

Me and this guy had been dating almost a month. we've only had one minor fight, and that was recently. The fight was my fault and i said sorry and we were over it. Suddenly yesterday, he said he needed some time to think. He won't really say whats wrong. He's my youth intern and so we've had to keep this a secret until i go to college, which i leave in two weeks. He says its not really because im leaving. i'm so confused on what im suppose to do. we were pretty serious and hes even said he loved me. I miss him alot. We've been texting and he says that its not over and that it might get better. What should i do to make sure it does get better? Please help! asap.

divzz 9 months ago

hey.. i really need your help. Me and my boyfriend broke up 7 months ago. We were together for about 1 year. Now he is in relationship with another girl. But surprisingly he considers me a really good friend of his. And i don”t want to be his friend only.He very well knows that i still care for him. I never tried to contact him. He always did. If i didn’t talk to him for one week. He would call me and simply say what happened why you didn’t call or text me from past one month. He calls me saying that i want to meet you for 15 minutes only. Moreover he also left HOOKAH when i told him not to have it anymore, its not good for your health. He was addicted to hookah. (all it happened after our break-up) He knows that i want him so badly. He too dedicated a song “main laut aaunga” which means that he’ll return to me. But how can i be so sure of that. He said this to me 2 months back. He is still with his new girlfriend.

He is very flirty type. I feel miserable. I really don’t know what to do next. Please suggest me the moves

jessie 9 months ago

Hi, My ex just told me to break up last week and right now I feel so bad, he told me that he will never come back to me but I still love him and I want him to come back to me again, He said that he boring and he doesn't feel anything to me anymore. Do I still have chance to get him back?

Maha 9 months ago

Hello there I am maha from Qatar I am in a situation where since I Everett meet my ex I loved him and where happy together but I missed sometime grating him I wasn't feeling how it hurts him when he wants me n I am not there I dent realize how I should be giving him or treat him only after he gradually to be I caant be with u ,,, I acted crazily so depressed talk to his friends bugging I dent know wut to do but then one of my fronds told me just follow ur heart and take care for her show her ur the one for him then after 4months went to him food I changed my attitude to be happy acting normally but still being carrying person then I went home close my blackberry msn he called asked y I told him am bored n just dnt want then he geared little n said in missed u long time after that day he started being the person I know taking care showing thatch is doing everything for me but in the few. Weeks he started telling me that he hate it when he start getting bak to me n I dnt give him that much attention untold him I adore n willngive u everything once everything is settled down and I wanted to let something for later on then he a tarted changing no MSG no call he then said I dnt feel u then he told me lots of pol want to meet me but I have only interst in u .. But something blocking that I told him maybe ur fear ... He used to tell me as well that I am now a new person to him because of my attitude but he dent mention if it's for the better he always used to tell I need time to adjust that person I need time I was patient gave time stopeed calling him much he go gym sap he is doing stuff he dent used to before he is taking care of hia look .. Then I 4days I go he called to me that he fells I am normal person to him now he dnt know wut ia wrong with him he fells he is dead from inside but he can't feel me he do things just so I dnt be sad he geared n it eared because he told me I wish I can fix something ?. He told be let us be friends for now and I need to meet pol told him y he said ao I know wut I want not for relationship it's we rid because he dent used be socializing person he wants to meet people ...I then sent him thankful MSG for the love he gave me and I was k with it I told that u need to remember that we where different n u will find that no where he said I aware I know but I can't do anything and he said hate the feeling he is feeling now .. ....??wut indo in this case

XxValzyxX 9 months ago

My boyfriend of a year and 8 months broke up with me on our anniversary because he told me he cheated on me with this other girl and now she is having his twins . i was talking to our mutual friend who happens to work with him and she said that he constantly talks about me and only once did he mention his girlfriend and that was only to say that he dosent know where things stand between them . I really do love him and he wont even acknoledge the fact that we were honestly perfect together and his longdistance relationship with his current girlfriend wont work . , he lives not even 3 blocks away from me i pass his house almost everyday and i tried to talk to him but i honestly think i lost all chance of him ever dating me again . what do i do to get him to realize i want him back in my life again .. Pleaase! hellp .

Crystal 9 months ago

Hello (: Does this still work if this is the situation?

It's kind of my fault my fiancee (lets just call him J) broke up with me, J saw that i sent a message via facebook to my ex saying i made a mistake and i wanted to be with him (my ex-ex) but we talked about it and he said he forgave me, then he saw that i messaged my ex again, not saying anything just seeing how he was doing, and he forgave me again. i added my ex back on facebook after deleting him and we had another talk and he forgave me again. Well J just recently got a new job and everything was going good between us up until this point. He started acting distant and texted me it was over because he can't trust me and he still can't get that first message i sent to my exex out of his head while i was at work. Well i'd texted him the whole time i was at work, and when i got home i begged him for another chance. he said hed give me a month to try and fix everything. well the other day we sat down and actually talked and he said he just couldn't do it. So i left the house ignoring his calls and texts. He turned family locator on on our phones and he found me, when we got home he told me that he was sorry and he still wanted to be with me and marry me. well we were drinking last night and i got upset at something he said and i started pushing him and shoving him and apparently i slapped him (i don't remember slapping him, but i NEVER act like this drunk) and this morning i woke up to a text saying he can't pretend anymore and it's over. He told me he didn't mean it when he said he still wanted to be with me and he said it partly out of pity. But he says he still loves me, he just can't trust me...

Do I still have a chance? Would this work?

confused 9 months ago

Hello,

I am really scared of losing my ex boyfriend for good. He broke up with me because he said he "didn't love anyone" anymore. But when I got home, he called me and said that he was afraid he'd "lost" me. He said he wants to be "best friends" and see eachother every day.

When we were together he was completely head over heels in love with me. I've noticed he calls when I don't. Should I continue to ignore him, or should I try to be best friends in order to get him back?

sick 9 months ago

my boyfriend and bestfriend of two years just dumped me. he is going through a depression. And he says he is in love with another girl. But it doesnt feel real.fells like a lie. and yup I made the mistakes. But it was better than the last time we broke up. And that time it was not really a break up and we got back together pretty fast. This time it feels final. This guy is The One. Im terribly scared to lose him for good. We were perfect together. please help

shiva 9 months ago

my bf brake up with me 7 months before. that times I didn't know about this rules I sent too many messages to him. I thought that was the best way. in this few weeks I start to read about how to fix my situation and I saw I ruin everything. he didn't even reply to any of my messages. I really afraid and sad. am I lose him? what can I do now?

shiva 9 months ago

my bf brake up with me 7 months before. that times I didn't know about this rules I sent too many messages to him. I thought that was the best way. in this few weeks I start to read about how to fix my situation and I saw I ruin everything. he didn't even reply to any of my messages. I really afraid and sad. am I lose him? what can I do now?

lillian 9 months ago

me and my bf broke up about a month ago he is single and looking for a girl and he cant find one at all but he does not talk to me anymore im going to start to liten to u

Sam 9 months ago

If you are a person that is insecure and is afraid of being without a mate, then you can be considered as needy. Being needy traps you from getting out and about when your mate is not around.

LadyGirl 9 months ago

Hi,

I really need help on this one. My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago today and I'm finding it so hard... I haven't spoken to him or seen him and I miss him like crazy. The other night though, I posted this song from (final fantasy viii) a video game he showed me when we were together... the song's title is actually my name so I decided to post it to facebook cause i was thinking of him. That same night I logged on and noticed he posted a song from the same video game (final fantasy x) as well. His song, however was an orchestra with strings, piano and the whole sha-bang, very climatic. Where mine was just a guy playing the song on a piano. It was still sweet thought. As well, he really made it clear when he broke up with me it was over. I have a few things that are still at his place and he told me to not come around and get them because he would bring them over. He hasn't brought them over and it's been making me think and hope that he doesn't want to let go. Do you have any idea what the song post was or why he hasn't brought my things back? I'm fighting the urge to call and contact him but I don't know how much longer I can go. I miss him with everything and I am still so in love with him. I want him and I to be together again. Please help. I'm trying to not hold on to false hope if it is. I'm just thinking since he was really firm on his decision... yet he hasn't given me my things...

Jo 9 months ago

Hey do the rules apply to this one? Or have you any suggestions for this one? Me and my Bf were together 3 years and were living together. I tended to moan at him alot about EVERYTHING and stress out! But I love him more than anything. he came home one day and said he was leaving said he loves me but "I do his head in" we have been split up 3 month now and he has his own flat. There is no one else involved. He just ignores me and when I eventually have got hold of him he says there might be a chance but there might not be he says he honestly doent know! But he's also being nasty like ive done something wrong. Ive spoke to his mum. she honestly doesnt know anything but she says hang in there. I duno what to do the contact between us is almost none existant! HELP x

Tina  9 months ago

Ok, so my boyfriend of one year broke up with me because it was "causing" him too much stress and he wanted to be alone. However, i still want to get him back, so i watched your video and it was really helpful, except in my situation i already called him and emailed him a thousand times about how much i missed him and wanted him back. What do i do now? Is it too late for me to get him back? Did i just ruin my chance of getting him back?

Sam 9 months ago

Hi,

So my boyfriend of one year broke up with me because "suddenly he didn't know what to feel about me anymore." He just randomly lost interest, apparently. I was devastated, but put on a tough exterior for my parents and friends, and acted like I got over it, almost too quickly. I still love him, and my soul is still crushed. It was only about a month ago that it happened, and I'm still miserable. On Facebook, a bunch of girls keep posting on his wall, he is making trips out to San Diego to visit girls, and it's making me CRAZY! He also told me that he wants to stay friends. We talk on Facebook chat about once every 3-4 days, and when we do talk, sometimes I bring up maybe hanging out, or even video-chatting on Skype. Whenever I bring anything like that up, he starts acting weird. When I asked him why he acts weird when I bring that sort of stuff up, his response was "We can hang out in a group, but not just the two of us. If will make the two of us want to get back together, and thats not good for us." But the thing is, I WANT HIM BACK! What should I do?

rachele0831 9 months ago

Thanks for the tips! I'm implenting them now.What do you if you were the one that cheated? :( Nothing too serious, talking on the phone, lunch, and a kiss on the cheek (once). I have completely cut the other guy out of my life. Blocked his number and changed mine. I live with the guy I want to win back. Trying to find a place to move now, but at the same time just want to be nice and show him i'm sorry by giving him space at the apartment. We have separate rooms. He is very stubborn and so am I. I know if I want this to work I have a lot of work to do. Just not sure what to do. He said we can talk about it again in a couple months but it will probably be a no.

amy 9 months ago

Hi,

My ex & I hv been in a relationship for 4ovr yrs & 1 yr ago he left me. How he broke up with me was...he sent me a text saying "i think we better move on with our lives & he said its not my fault but merely his..he is the one with problem & he wanted me to know that there is no 3rd party involved".

The first 2 yrs plus of our relationship was superb until i found out that he swayed away by knowing others girls & i became over sensitive about it. 

I was so committed and I hv done so much for him..going thru when he was down but somehow he doesnt see it.

At the end of our 3rd yr relationship he really back off but to me it felt like he wanted to breakup but he came back to me within a month & he told me that he wanted a break.  He came back but yet he din really commit to me & we had problems until last year when he completely wanted out. After the breakup he wanted us to be friends..on & off he does call or text me for 3 months.

He became abit more distance to me  when i went so emotional & said alot till pushed him futher away. We did argued & yet he still response to my general text & we did meetup initiated by me about 3-4 times within the 1 yr of breakup. 

For yr info, he still occasionally response to my text. Meaning he has not completely cut me off & we met a few days ago. It was a very short meet & when we left he gave me a hug & kiss on my forehead.

After the meetup i did text him & he only response to certain text.

He has been saying that this 1 yr he has been very busy with his job & he still single but i do not know if he has someone special.

I still miss him alot & want to know can i still get my ex back after all the emotional act which i push him away.

Please help!

Chelsi 9 months ago

Hello, this has helped me alot. I have not came up with my plan yet. My boyfriend dumped me 16 days ago. He has already called me, before I called him. He explained why we needed to break up. He said he is not ready to grow, he wants to party, and meet other people. He is nineteen. Anyways, he told me he still loves me, and that we will be back together one day, but I do not want to wait forever being miserable so I want to win him back soon! Today is the 15th of August 2011, I will be visiting my family down who he lives with aswell on the 18th. Which is very soon. I have bought new clothes. I have been hanging with my friends! I also have been going to parties. No, I am not interested in meeting anybody. I want him back. I am going to try your ways! Do you think it will work?!

Katie 9 months ago

Hey,

My ex broke up with me in March, and I've been pretty lonely without him...and I think about him all the time. I shouldn't think about him all the time but it goes to show how much I still love him. He was my first boyfriend, and I fell in love with him when I first saw him. It was his smile, laugh, and humor that I fell in love with. After a week of talking on the phone, we finally went on a date. It was the best night of my life. After that night, I thought that he'd been "the one" for me...after that night, we were inseparable. I fell in love with him each and every day we were together. As time went on, we didn't get along anymore. Which was caused by how much we spent with each other...which was my fault. I wanted to spend so much time with him because I was so in love. At the time he told me that I was "clingy", and I always disagreed. But now that I think about it...I was clingy. And I wish I could have realized that before so I could have saved our relationship, but it was too late. He had enough and couldn't feel it anymore, and there was nothing I could do or say. I was devastated, and I cried myself to sleep every night. We didn't talk for about 2 months, which was also hard. He finally contacted me, and wanted to be friends. It is not what I wanted, but I loved him so much I would do anything for him. We hung out a few times, taking walks and going to the park. Every single time I wanted to tell him how I felt, but I couldn't because I knew it would ruin everything. I'm leaving for college soon and I want to tell him how I feel before I leave. Is this a good idea? Or should I just tell him later? I love him so much, and I just want him back. And to take it slow this time. What should my plan of action be?

MIrajane 9 months ago

So me and my boyfriend broke up yest. I don't know any no contact strategy. Can you please help?

Belle 9 months ago

This article gave me hope. My situation sounds just like Donna and Davids. My boyfriend of three years currently broke up with me, out of the blue because he said he was confused and didn't know if he wanted to be with me anymore. Said he loves me so much, just wants space and doesn't know what he wants. He also said he wasnt "into" the relationship anymore which really hurt. Currently I am at my moms completely miserable. Don't even want to move or get out of bed. He is living in our old house which I wanted to take instead of him but I think im going to move in with my bestfriend for awhile and let him clear his head. He said he doesn't want to live with me but can't go without talking to me, which I cannot DO!! I want to be with him..theres no way I could talk and see him if I wasn't able to be his girlfriend. It's such a weird situation. I am going to take your advice and not come off as needy and hopeless. I want him to miss me and see that I can actually be okay with out him. I just hope in the end he realizes that we are meant to be. I hope he just needs some time to himself because three years spending everyday with someone can put a lot of strain on the relationship. Thank you for all your advice though.

Nunalu 9 months ago

My boyfriend broke with me about 2 weeks ago. We had been together for over a year. I have been following the rules since then and crossing my fingers. However next week will be his B-day. My question is...What should I do? Drop him a message on FB, write on his wall, call him up, send him a text, give him a gift, or.... Please girls help me with that! :)

Hannah 9 months ago

This hasnt really helped me at all.. my boyfriend[ex] isnt the jealous type. he doesnt know what he want just like your frend so your video only helps out some girls not all

Emma 9 months ago

Hi,

My fiance and I just split up after 5 years together, we had been living together for 3 years and engaged for a year and a half. We were living a normal "family" life and we got stuck in a rut of getting up, going to work, coming home, having dinner, watching tv and then going to bed and doing it all over again the next day. We had stopped showing each other how much we loved each other and cared for each other and ended up fighting over little things such as money, who didnt tidy up after themselves or who was going to cook and we didnt spend enough time together. I had been training to be a teacher the past year so had no spare time to myself and our relationship suffered because of it as well as having no money to do anything together and barely being able to survive so the little arguments just kept building up and we werent communicating with each other so it was only until a week before we split up we started talking about it and we both made a concious effort not to start little fights and things were starting to get better but my fiance then decided he needed time to sort stuff out in his head (how he was feeling about me, stuff from his past including his family and his daughter etc) so i suggested to him he go stay at his parents house for a night or two and see how he feels after that - not split up but go on a break so i eventually convinced him to do that because I love him and i want him to be able to get on with his life and sort out all the crap that happened to him before he met me but he didnt want to leave the house but all i wanted was the best for him so i encouraged him to do it but the next day he said he didnt want to hurt me anymore and that we both needed to move on and be happy.

I really regret making him go but I love him and I want him to sort out his past so he can move on with his life and be happy. He says he still loves me and cares for me and that there is still a big sexual attraction between us and I feel the exact same for him. I hate us being apart as I love him and he was going to be my husband in a few years.

At first he wouldnt txt me or call me and I was so confused as why we had actually split up and I kept txting him just wanting to know what happened, if he was ok and to tell him I still love him and would wait for him till he sorted his head out. I was so so so heartbroken it was distroying me I couldnt concentrate at work, I could barely breathe and I couldnt eat or drink it was killing me not knowing what happened or what was going on. Eventually he did txt me back saying he wanted to txt me too but was finding it really hard and he didnt want to hurt me anymore but we still txt and talked about what was going on in work and sorting out collecting stuff and who was going to look after our pet.

He was coming around one evening to collect his stuff and I was on my was to visit my parents and he arrived before I left so it was a shock for him to see me and he sort of hated me for being there because it was so hard to see each other but we got talking and I said the first time seeing each other is going to be hard but it will be easier after this anyway we were talking and we gave each other a hug and one thing led to another and we nearly ended up sleeping together cos there is still the big sexual attraction between us but we managed to stop ourselves as we knew it wouldnt help either of us. I nearly pushed him away by doing that but he agreed to give me another chance and we agreed to be friends but I still want him back. We continued to txt each other and he kept bring up what we nearly did together and that he couldnt get it out of his head and regretted not doing it and I kept trying to steer the conversation a different direction but he kept bringing it back to it but we eventually would move on to something else but then the next day he would be talking about it again and we would nearly be doing stuff over the phone with each other. I had to put a stop to it as I wanted more than that I didnt just want it to be break up sex or friends with benefits I wanted us to get back together at some point.

A few days later I hear that he is now going out with somebody else - this girl had been interested in him for months and I had tried telling him she had feelings for him but he was oblivious to it all and said nothing was happening with them and they were just friends but a week after we broke up she asked him out and he said ok. He was looking for somoene to get over me with and he said it might as well be with a friend. This really hurt me I couldnt believe he was moving on so fast, even if he said it wasnt serious and they were just going to the cinema and stuff it still hurt and I got very angry at him but once I calmed down I knew I still loved him. We continued to be friends and chat and txt each other but I then decided to give him space - time for him to miss me - so I stopped txting him and only txt him back when things realated to our house needed sorting out but nothing more than that. He was suppose to come around and sort out the last of his things and do some cleaning but then he found out his daughter had been taken into hospital and wasnt in a good way. At that point I had to talk to him as his daughter was my step daughter for 5 years and I loved her very much so naturally I was worried about her and wanted to do anything I could for them so it wouldnt have been right not to get in contact as they are both very important people to me. Luckily she got better and is now out of hospital recovering at home and we have keep talking and txting each other and once again falling into the old habbit of nearly sleeping together or telling each other what we would like to do to each other - even when he has a new girlfriend but we both know it is wrong and dont actually do anything that strong attraction is still there.

I want him back so how to I go about doing it? Do I start right at the start again and stop txting him? Basically I need a step by step plan that will work to get him back again. PLEASE HELP!!

Lou 9 months ago

I've not been with my guy for 2 years now, would this kind of thing still apply?

paige 9 months ago

my boyfriend and i have been together for 11 months and hes always told me hes never going to leave me and he loves me so much and all this nice stuff but lately we have been fighting because of reasons and he said hes sick of my drama and to move on and get over it i think i over did it with begging him not to dump me. i just really love him and i dont want to end it forever please tell me what to do!!

Charlotte 8 months ago

My bf of 1 year broke up with me, giving me vague reasons, such as needing time alone & having doubts. He's divorced & skittish because of it, and I feel like he allowed outsides pressures to plant seeds of doubts, to make him feel like he needed to drop something in order to cope, and that something was me.

This is in spite of the fact that days before the breakup he was emphatically telling me how much he loved me, how I was the best thing in his life at the moment, and how he appreciated something I said that was very encouraging/enlightening to him. That very same thing I said was then later used to explain why he needed to be alone (he realized what he needs to do, thanks to me, but he needs to do it alone).

In short, I made a goof & texted him the morning after the breakup to call me & give me some clarity, which he did. I did this because because I had hung up on him without getting many questions answered the night before, and I felt I needed more info for closure. During the initial breakup talk, I ranted & raved angrily. During the next conversation, I cried & made dramatic statements about being alone. We hung up with him saying he is sorry and needed to go now. No doubt, all I stirred in him was PITY (ugh!).

So now I know I must wait....but what is my next move when I do make one? After a month, do I call him if he has not called me?

How do I get info about my current life (which will be filled with many "moving on" events) back to him when we have few mutual friends he talks to regularly? I only have one girlfriend he used to work with, but now they don't work together anymore & don't chat unless they run into each other, which happens very infrequently. My only channel is visiting that friend when she associates with some other people he knows (as she does sometimes), & hoping it gets back to him through the grapevine.... The only problem with that is it might appear obvious I am showing up to send a message to him....advice?!!!

Sonia 8 months ago

Hi Essy,

I just came across with this blog and I'm wondering if you can give me some advice. I brokeup 6 months ago already, he gave me the usual talk, I'm confused it's not you, it's me, you deserve something better. At the moment I was shocked, I didn't really expect it, to me we were a perfect couple. After 3 months I find through facebook that he is dating a chinese girl that was giving him private lessons of chinese and he already knew her before we broke! so I immediately realized she cheated on me and that's why he left me, but didn't have the courage to tell me. I've tried to contact him the least possible, he owed me some money so he kept in contact for that by mail. I was so depressed that I left my job and let him know I did, big mistake!!! so after a while he offered me to work for him freelance, we are both graphic designers, everything by mail without seeing each other. I never called him, he did the talking when he needed to explain something, he called, but always really cold with me. Last time he called was mid july, then nothing. I send him a letter apologizing for my mistakes, I did so many! but at the end saying, thank you for breaking with me, because that has changed my life, and it really did. I still think I love him and would forgive me anyways because I felt so good with him. Do I have any chance?

anne 8 months ago

Hey essy, first of all your video seems very helpful but i have a question, what if I already showed him that I am broken and sorta tried getting him back by stating the reason why I think was the problem. My boyfriend of 4 years thnk that we have been together for so long that we havent had room to grow and we fought a lot, also. Is there still a chance ? hELP.

Courtney 8 months ago

Hey,

So I read through your article and watched the video, and I must say you have some of the best advice. I also just recently went through a break up, he ended it on September 3rd, and it is now the 9th.. And it has been really hard. For the first couple of days I would cry and cry and cry. Only talk about him to my friends, everytime I did something I was reminded of him and how much I miss doing things with him but how now I had to do them alone. With each day it has been getting easier.. But I know I want him back. I realize that he broke up with me, and I understand his reasonings to a certain extent. (He needs his space, he's going to be too busy with university and soccer and work) but I'm still not sure why he thought we couldnt make it work this year. He was at university last year for his first year and I was in grade 12 and we were completely fine? Well anyways, he ended it. He did an exchange of things we had left at each others houses and I couldnt even look him in the eye. I gave him the bag of stuff, told him to have a good year at school and walked away. But I ended up breaking down and texting him trying to let him see that we would work out and that I would wait for him and blah blah blah. But he told me to move on, so I ended the conversation telling him it was a mistake and left it at that. I realize this was a mistake now, but it was how I was feeling. I just wanted him to remember me.... wrong choice. So I ignored him for 2 days and he ended up texting me at 2am saying that he still loves me and thats its just hard... and as the conversation went on, I still kind of showed I was there which was a bad decision, because I kind of had him back for a second, but once i showed that i was still there for him, he said once again that he cant commit right now and he has no time.. Then yesterday on bbm, he kept changing his status to make me angry.. like "loving the boys right now" and "fuck bitches, get blackout drunk for the boys" which is confusing because clearly he was at the bar and his temper got to him. i would just change my status to coincide with what he was saying like "hahahahaha" and "ew". Wrong decision, if i had showed him it wasnt bothering me, maybe he wouldnt have kept doing it.. and he would be wondering if i had moved on already.. but i showed i cared.. and i shouldnt have. well anyways, i came across your video today and you have given me hope to get him back. i know those last status' i told you about kind of make him look like a dick, but i know how he is when hes with me.. and i really want him back. i know we are perfect for each other. i just need to remember your article and let him go for a bit so he sees the mistakes he made. since you know, its already worked and i had him texting me after 2 days of not talking... i wonder what a week would do to him. but anyways, thank a lot. i really hope it all works out for me.

Jeeba 8 months ago

Hey Essy :)

I was just going through your article and trust me i feel like i have some hope here.. i have been completely heartbroken. I've tried switching my mind to better things , i've tried to fake my happiness and believe it or not , i have even tried making him jealous by talking to other guys , his own friend including his best friendso n facebook .. Well , i think it's best i need to be completely open and clear .. Essy , well i was the kind of girl in school .. who umm according to guys 'hard to get ' . I was single the whole time and truly did not really want to fall in a relationship .. He had a crush on me and gradually on the last day of school i got to know about it. A few days later , we had the party -farewell .. and he and i started talking , as in a conversation and then he added me on fb and yeah we spoke and spoke .. and after one week .. i felt like he was the right one. He was very open about everything to me and about his ex girlfriends and pretty much everything ! I opened up too . Sadly ..the time we went out , our exams were up and we were busy studying too. Anyway , He was amazing right at the beginning .. we'd go out with his guy friends and everything seemed perfect. gradually we ended in fights .. i starting it cause i didn't like the fact that he spoke to his ex - who is supposedly his best friend . I didn't like it and the fights grew .. over other things like him not giving me enough attention,not calling me up and much more.Every single time, he made it up to me and trust me i felt like he really loved me.. when we were around the others, it felt like i was the only girl he saw , only one he loved ..the only one around him. One day there was a friend's party and over there, we danced for the first time and ...a kiss . Whatever it was , it felt like everything was perfectly fine. After that day he had two days leave and i was done with my exams anyway.. he still had one more to go. BEFORE i forget, before we started dating, he told me that after studies he'd be leaving for america .. and told me to rethink about dating him cause it'd be fine with him .. i decided to date him and honestly with time, i tried changing his mind cause he said he didn't believe in long distance relationships .. neither did i but i knew i loved him and i wanted to give it a try.

So yeah coming back to two days before his exam , we thought of meeting up and we did and we ended up ... getting a lil physically attached .. and right then i saw tears in his eyes when told me that he really loved me and could promise to be loyal but found the long distance relationship thing very hard .. he said its best we break up ..for the both of us because he would be coming back to the country from america only twice in a year and it wasn't gana be easy for us. I got angry and well i didnt accept it ..then he took a promise from me that whenever i felt like it was getting hard, i would let him know and we'd break up this long distant relationship.

The next day .. he seemed upset and confused and ignored me.. when i called him ..he said he wasn't sure about anything anymore. I cried and cried .. and his good friend comforted me and tried talking to him .. it didn't work. I cried like hell on the phone and told him to change his mind cause we loved each other but he remained stubborn and said i was being immature .. and its best we remain focused cause we are too young and might even change our minds later on .That night he broke up with me .. and the next day he had exams. My friends sent him a bunch of messages ... and finally he called me up and said that ' i wasn't gana cal you ..because i know you don't wana see my face or talk to me ever again. i did it because i want to talk to you before you leave for vacations' ... i was leaving for vacations one month before he'd be leaving for america...

We said we love each other .. in the morning before leaving to the aiport ..'we said we love each other and said still wished to be together. I left. When i was on vacations i was devastated but i saw him going out and uploading pictures on fb .. maybe he was trying to be happy.. later on i saw him adding a few new girls to his list. it hurt me.. He then left me a message ' Hey..i dont know whether you'll read this or not ..just wanted to say a hi and hope you're having fun ' . .. I didnt reply to it. When i got back from vacations , he was already in america and we didn't talk. I started talking to my other guy friends and tried sounding happy .. I once uploaded a status saying ' i thought you were different..but you belonged to the same breed ' .. a random one, he thought its related to him and commented ' wehat do you want me to do ? should i ask God to forgive my unholy sins while i kneel down .. everyone wants me to do that , including you . ' I ignored his comment and moved on . Gradually me and his other guy friends ..i mean common friends including his own best friend started talking regularly and you'd find more guys wallposts on my wall than girls.. whatever it was .. one sudden day I saw that he had deleted me from fb and msn.. I was hurt. Believe it or not , Sicne the day we broke up , he talks to his ex .. even though his ex has a boyfriend but then yeah they are best friends. Till today they talk to each other and post ..inbox .. and weird ones with hearts and i love yous and miss yous ..yeah i might be too sensitive right now but then it hurts me.. She is the only girl he talks to ..

Essy i've tried hard to forget it but then i still have this hope that he will regret ..that he still loves me..that he is affected .. im just not sure. I wana be strong and I don't want to be a girl taken so lightly. His friend who isn't on talking terms with him anymore tells me to try talking to him ..but i refuse to. I mean i got my dignity . I really don't know what to do and i have never been so confused. God knows. Please help me .. give me some way Essy and i'll be very thankful.. VERY thankful :)

Abby x 8 months ago

Hey there. :)

Your advice was really really amazing!

But my ex and i have been breaking up like about 7 times now, and all the time we're always back together, so much so that my best friend's fed up of me going back to him! So like just about half a month back, while i was out of the country, he falls for one of my good friends, and when i'm back, he tells me, now, just about an hour back he calls me and tells me that my best friend loves him too! I was horrified! I didn't express anything, i just said wow, i'm so happy for you. But i cut him short straight and burst into tears, it was such a horrible feeling, i truly love him loads! Now i don't know what to do at all, jealousy's taking over fast and i'm starting to hate my best friend, what do i do? :/ Oh and honestly, i don't think he and my best friend are meant for each other, his best friend and my other close buds think so the same. But, we don't know, i don't know, please help me!

Joss 8 months ago

Hi.. I just watched your video and it was extremely helpful.. My boyfriend of 9 months ended it with me today... he told me that he couldn't handle dating emotionally yet when I went to the store to get a red box movie (To take my mind off the break up) I happened to see him get in the car with some other woman (Like fate was rubbing it's foot in my face).. In all the time I knew my bf and spent time with him I know that he wans't the same the last 2 weeks we where together.. He acted distant stopped calling as much and so on. Now on my end I can say that I have been known to get frustrated because he works all the time and I never got to see him... but is that really a reason to dump your gf of 9 months that he swore I was "The one" ? please help me I really need some advice on how to get him back I know for a fact that I won't ever be the same without him... Do you think this is fixable..?

ugly&unlucky 8 months ago

Hi

First of all thanks for the great article

But im far away from these stages..

So after a two year long relationship my guy dumped me over NO GOOD REASON..it was in august 2007...in the early break days he used to call me up and ysed to cry n ask for forgiveness and i on the other hand used to beg him to come back..in short i've done everything u asked not to..in these four years he dated many chics and so did i..but for me it was just to show him that im not a trash..at first he used to feel jealous but now it doesnt bother him..i've annoyed him to the level that he never talks to me..actually i was young n immature enough to listen to my heart!

And now is the worst part..he is plannin to get married to this girl in a few years and me on the other hand is still waiting for him..he is my first crush and first bf..things were as perfect as fairytale but now..ifeel worse than nightmare...his frnds are loyal enough not to help me n he on the other hand hates me!

Is there any way u could help me out? I will be ever grateful to u...please help me :'(

Please

Haylss 8 months ago

Hey, this video has made me see exactly what ive been doing wrong :/

And the beginning part about imagining us being back together in the future really made me feel soooo much better, My relations ship is really complicating though...

I've had three chances with him already so far, he likes me and we get together but he gets cold feet because apparently i reminded him of an ex :/ however it cant bother him that much because he kept comming back, promblem is last time we broke up it was pretty bad, we had a huge argument but a month later we were talking again, casually, once a week even, it was nice we were gettin on and i didnt want to rush into things so i wanted to keep them this way for a while. However, ive realised hes been talking to another girl and im pretty sure he likes her, i thought im so gonna win him back before anything gets too serious with them. His mate then decided to tell him that we'd slept together... this may be true but it was after we'd broken up, kinda a rebound and they wernt mates at the time... now however my ex hates me for it, even though i know it was bad and i shouldnt have done it but i felt lonely. I panicked and so i text him denying it, then the next morning i told him i was sorry for how things turned out and he was a big part of my life and i liked the way we were just casually talkin...

I havent heard anything from him and i dont blame him but im scared im going to lose him over this other girl now.

I was thinking about just leaving him alone and trying to move on but i dont want to lose him forever.

Is there any advice you can give me to even attempt to fix this? pleasee, x

Anjie 8 months ago

Hey,

My ex and I broke up almost 3 months ago and I still love him and want him back. I have done everything so far and have recently started texting him more then usual. We broke up bc he said he did not have time for a relationship anymore. :( I dont know what to do anymore because nothing is working. I dont know if he cares anymore. Some of our mutual friends have told me that he doesnt. But i refuse to believe that its over. I still feel like there is something there. He asked me to lunch a couple of weeks ago but cancelled because he had to work. He has not rescheduled yet. We are friends and i have been keeping myself busy but, the more time that passes the more I feel that this is hopeless.... Any advice for me?

lost 8 months ago

Hello, I'm happy to find this site! :)

So yesterday I told my boyfriend of 6 years that I didn't trust him anymore b.c it seems like every time he is out with his buddies he doesn't like to pick up my calls. And last week Friday he sent me a messages,but wouldn't answer my calls saying he is drunk/tipsy. Anyways he told me that we need a break and thinks maybe I'm being unfaithful and he is tired of the arguing. He lives an 1 1/2 away, we are both in school and will finish this year. Our plans were to get married after we finished. I'm 26 and he is 28, I can't imagine being with anyone else and I don't want start looking. I want to settle down asap to start a family. Not sure what to do at this point. I don't want to let him go :(

JamesB 8 months ago

Hey Essy,

Im a gay guy and me and my boyfriend have recently broken up. I watched your video and im hoping that your advice also applies to gay guys lol!

We broke up about 7 weeks ago. Things hadn't been perfect but I felt like we could work on things and there were no major problems. He said that he things we should just be friends which is something im sure i can't do. We were together 8 months and i really love him. It was an awful break up for me because we didn't even argue or anything so i couldn't get my emotions out and had to keep them in which was awful. We met about 2 weeks after the break up in the mall for a chat and walk around but it wasn't about us it was just generally talk and he was friendly. I haven't spoken to him since because it hurts too much still. I am trying to have NO CONTACT with him at the moment. He has messaged me once saying "I know you dont really want to hear from me but I hope that you're ok" - i didn't respond. He does occasionally message my mum about other things and she did say he once recently asked how I am and I told her to tell him i'm fine!

Another thing which was really annoying towards the end of our relationship was that he started hanging out with a girl who he kept saying was his "best friend" but they have only known each other a couple of months and he was kind of focusing all his attention on her. I wonder how long that will last? I hope he might focus on me again soon but im doubtful.

I'm looking to move in with my two best friends and im looking for a new job - so im really concentrating on my self at the moment.

Its hard to imagine us not getting back together because i think we both believed we would be together for a long time.

Do you think i have done the right things? and what should i do next?

Kind regards,

James

j 8 months ago

Hi there.

My partner and I were together for 16 months, we both had share so much, and said loved each other dearly and spoke of the rest of our lives together. He expressed he feels he cant help things, and he was slipping down, and tried to break up and then decided not too, after that time, there was about a month of lots of i love you so dearly, more passion, talking and feeling of back on track, and then suddenly overnight, he states he does not love my anymore, and he can't see us together. i was devastated. and i did all the classics, not begging me to come back, but just to talk to me, and of course he wouldnt, except once, he did reply to a few emails stating, he did have very deep feelings for me, and is very sad and doesnt know why he doesn't anymore, and wished it was different. I gave him some space, but every few days, I would just email and request for us just to talk. He said we had a wonderful relationship, but he is feelings changed and wanted me to move on with my life and find someone deserving. of course i knoow it was more than that, but i didnt hound him, just asked if we could just close the wedge. He said he wanted still to be in my life, but all he could was close friends, and still cares about me. I said to him, i still love him but i accept this is what he needs to do, even though i know deep down there was more to the story. he then admitted, that he was going down emotionally, and he couldnt' go down anymore, that was why he broke up. but then said he was so sorry for the hurt he has caused and sincerely hopes i can heal and move on with my life. and then states, he just go on a date with someone else.

he still refuses to talk to me. so I let him go, I told him, i still loved him, and hoped that one day, he could bring myself to talk to me, to let bygones be bygones(i have a great bond with his daughter, that he doesnt want us to break either) he still is friends with my actual friends - that he doesnt really talk to outside my circle.

I kind of think, on one hand, he is just avoiding, and voiding with things. he is just gone down emotionally as he as ssaid - which i believe - and he cant bring himself to fight for us anymore. i understand that.

SO.. after all that. Of course i love him. Any hope, ? time will tell? I am not holding my breath, but i still have gut feeling. and I think he would rather just see me happier with someone who could 'help' me (not that I ever expected or asked or anything) it just got too much - so many things in his life were going haywire.

Do you think I possibly could be right? I know things change.

Sorry for the waywardness!!

Anne 8 months ago

HI there,

I have been reading your page for days now over and over again and trying so hard to follow your advice and i have been doing good. My common law boyfriend and i just split about 2 weeks ago, and it is killing me. I had been going through an extremly tough time in my life and i understand that my stress and termoil had a hard effect on him, but i really never thought it would rip us apart. He just started to feel distant and that was worse to me then breaking up at the time, now its even worse, i miss him like crazy. We work at the same place, and although i dont see him at work, we do still share an apartment. All my stuff is packed and stuffed aside and i stay there when my shifts start, and he usually goes to his mothers while im there. I do my best not to contact him, but he always messages me, asking how i am and about work and so on, i dont know what to think. I seen him the other day and he looked so upset and hurt i didnt know what that means im trying really hard to make him realize he misses me. When we broke up he said he believed he just needed time to make sure that i was what he wanted and that this was a forever thing, he just needed to make sure, but i would never risk something like we had. I adore him and i made sure he knew i adored him, i just hit a serious hurdle in my life and kind of expected him to be there to help me through it.

Anyway i dont know where to go from here, i try my best to act cool and put together when he comes around and i can see its starting to really bother him, but i just want this to be over with and for him to come back already, like he said he sees himself crawling back in a month or 2 or 4 even but he really feels he will be back, he cries everytime we talk about us. Im soo confused and so in love with him i just want him back and to start over fresh.

Can you give me any advice, am i on the right track? Especially with having to contact him concerning our apartment, i do keep it as short as possible but man it kills me to know he is concerned for me and wants to know if im alright and so on, i just kinda brush those questions aside for now.. i want him to really feel nervous that im moving on

Thanks hope to hear from you :)

Terryterry 8 months ago

Girls and ladies...will you once and for all please UNDERSTAND that men will do and say anything to get in your panties! Here are some of the things they do: 1) tell you that they want to do something with you a few weeks or months from now (or maybe even next year; this is supposed to get you to think "Wow, this guy really likes me and he plans to stick around!"); 2) introduce you to his friends; 3) introduce you to his kids; 4) cook a dinner to introduce you to his mother (yes, they will even go as far as doing this to get you to open up your legs!); 5) he will suggest that you and he go on vacation together next year or the year after that (yep, they'll also go as far as this; trust me, it happened to me!); and they'll do anything else that comes to their manipulative cheating minds just to get you in bed and be able to tell their buddy that they succeeded in doint it. They'll also say just about anything, from: 1) I have feelings for you; 2) I think I'm falling for you; 3) I have grown very fond of you; 4) I'm in love with you, to the big one: 5) I love you.

Since being single again, all I've come across are liars and cheaters. I even met a guy who said he enjoys giving the women what they want to hear and he behaves in the ways he knows the women want him to behave (lovingly and romantically) in order to get the women to fall in love with him, and then when he sees that the women are in love with him, he LEAVES THEM! He said he actually enjoys seeing the process of the women falling in love with him. This creep needs a therapist! Either that or be removed from society for being a sociopath! To look at him you would never guess that he is such a dangerous person to women. He is attractive, well-educated, has a successful career and women fly to him like bees to honey. What I think is that he is either a homo and/or has a deeply-rooted hatred of women and that is why he hurts so many women by getting them to fall in love with him and then he dumps them at the height of the romance he fabricated.

My advice: forget most of these bast*rds! Do NOT HOP IN BED with any of them! Get to know the guy first. Find out about who and what he is way deep at his core. If you find out positive things about him, wait until you find out what he FEELS for you, not based just on what he says (remember, they lie!), but based ALSO on his ACTIONS (is he there for you when you're sick? has he given you a ride somewhere when your car broke down - without you having to ask for the ride? if he knows how to do work around the house, has he fixed anything at your place that needed fixing - without your having to ask? The guy's actions speak louder than the words. Although, I do have to say, that if he has never said the "in love" or "love" words, the probability is very high that he is NOT in love with you and does not love you.

Your gut feeling will tell you, and don't let your mind talk you out of your gut feeling just because you are afraid to be alone again. As my grandmother used to say: It's better to be alone than in bad company. A guy who is using you just for companionship and sex is most definitely bad company because he is using you and wasting your time! So, pick up your self-esteem and self-love and dump the creep! Take time out to take care of youself physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Remember, you are the only you you've got!

daffodil2 8 months ago

Hi I have been reading some of your advice and I find it really inspiring stuff. I was just seeing someone who I thought waoh, he is amazing. He was really full on and totally into me or so I thought. Then suddenly without warning he said he wasnt interested in a relationship. He said he liked spending time with me and he didnt want to not see me anymore. However it has been 4 weeks and absolutely NO contact. I have been strong and not texted or phoned but Im thinking he has just took the easy option and called it quits without telling me. any advice

emma36 7 months ago

Hey, so the story for me is that my ex and i just broke up less then 24 hours ago and we have been dating since jan 2010. the problem is this is our 5th time breaking up over the period of time but the last four times we decided it was a mistake cause we still both loved being with eachother... but this time he wont have anything to do with going back..he says he still loves me and loves being with me but we fight way too much for him to handle... how do i get him to consider taking me back?

NGirl 7 months ago

Hey Essy...

My ex and I have been broken up for almost 4 months now, and I have been trying to move on but it is really difficult because he was my first bf, first kiss, etc. I am trying to think about him less and we havent talked in a while. I deleted his number out of my phone because i'd be too tempted to call him and i didn't want to seem needy. We tried to be friends for a while, but then my emotions took control so he told me we couldn't be friends anymore... He had also been hitting on other girls, which drove me up a wall.. Then he told me about a few weeks later after both of us had dropped all contact that he had a new gf... I didn't take it too well, and then later apologized. We haven't talked since, and he is always giving me mixed signals. Like he'll act like he wants nothing to do with me, and then he'll act like he wants me back. I don't know what to do and i dont think he'll ever break up with his new gf for me. I miss him so much because he was my best friend, not just my bf. What do i do?

KJ 7 months ago

Hi,

I loved your video but does it still apply when iwas the one who broke up with him? I felt like it wasnt working but i still loved him and i still do. It has been about a month or so since we broke up and i though i moved on but a few weeks ago my feelings came ack. He and i talked on skype a couple of times in a friendly way but a few days ago we had kind of a row. He said he didnt understand why i broke up with him and that he loved me more than anything else in the world. I was so sad and i cried a lot. Im desperate to get him back. Do u have some advice?

Thanks

KJ

Savvy 7 months ago

Hi, I've read most of these comments and none of them really apply to my situation. I had been feeling really depressed lately and i thought maybe it was because of my boyfriend, so i broke up with him, its 2 days later now and I'm even more depressed than before. I'm friends with his brother and he said that my ex was a mess. He also said that he had written me a song before i broke up with him. I broke up because our relationship wasn't going anywhere either he hadn't even kissed me yet! When I talked on facebook with him he told me he was trying to work up the courage to kiss me. I feel so dumb and I want him back but I'm afraid if I ask him back out he won't want to because i already hurt him once. Please help i want to hit a rewind button!!!

juji2716 7 months ago

Hello there thanks so much for all the advice you are giving us girls. I have an issue with my boyfriend and I hope you will be able to help me out. My boyfriend and I got into a argunment a month ago, about facebook, out of no where he decides to ask me if he can go into my account, I would of shown it to him but like 2 days before I was messaging with an old friend from high school, we exchange numbers and kept talking but a nice chat like just friends but you see my boyfriend is a jelous type, he think that every guy I talk to I want something with him which is not true, we have been dating for almsot 7 years and the day of the argunment he told me if I wouldnt show him my phone we would be done he begged and cry to me but I wouldnt show him my phone. I mean I was upset that he would put our realtionship on the line just for facebook, we been talking once in a while but not about the issue. what should I do to get him back?? Thanks

Aleihs 7 months ago

Hello, first of all i'd like to say that I think you are going to safe my life, but I do have a question, as I wasn't in a long term relationship. Me and the guy were dating for 2 weeks now, everything PERFECT. we were together for almost 24/7 and spend every night together because it's awesome to wake up and fall asleep in each others arms. He told me many times how cute I am and that he likes me a lot, and how nice it was to just cuddle and stuff. And we laughed so much together. But... he's moving next month to his dads (an hour away from here) to save up over the rent as he is moving to france end of January. And when he was calling with his dad 2 days ago, he suddenly thought: damn, this is not going to work out.

So he decided it's better to not get too serious because he is worried I would be really sad and maybe him too if this will get very serious. So he thought to end it right now, for the better. He would still want to hang out with me and txt me and give me backrubs and cuddle, but not more in a couply way. I'M LIKE WTF? (sorry for the language). I'm so desperate now. I really liked the guy and everything worked so well. I know we've only been seeing him for 2 weeks and that's nothing in a human's life, but i really think he was the one. I never felt so right in my life and im always having long relationships. I want him back... very badly...

What can I do? Does the same rules apply here as well? I only dated him for 2 weeks and i know him only for 3 weeks, but he's perfect to me and I dont want this to end for such a reason and i feel like im suddenly going to break down and 'break' all the rules you have put down here. I have managed to not txt him yet (he hasnt either) since 1.5 days, but it's killing me. I might break the rules any minute from now...

Please help me?

imaliciae 7 months ago

Hey there,

I have to say your advice is very helpful, but i still scared as though its too late for me.

A little on my situation.

My boyfriend and i were together for 8 and a half months.

we saw each other quite a lot, and were very serious with one another, meet each others familys, attended some of his family events. we even spoke about marriage together and one day moving in together and buying a dog. we went through a bit of a rough patch were out of no were he was scared of the seriousness of the relationship. wasnt sure about marriage in the future, seeing eachother so much (he pretty much got cold feet about the relationship). anyway a few months passed and it seemed a little up and down. until his friend got into an accident and it made things a little more stressful. few weeks later after that he broke up with me, saying things like i feel like im not ready for a relationship, its too stressful, i just need time to myself. i was so distort for all this. a week later he calls me in the middle of the night crying convincing me to see him saying he misses me, he loves me and that im the only girl he wants to be with BUT, he doesnt like the pressure of the relationship. that night was a bit of a relapse for me. the weeks after were still depressing. i ended up giving my the stuff he gave me as gifts, tried not talking, tried talking. i tried everything to move on. but its just not working. recently we meet up, trying to be friends. i still feel like his stringing me along. he said things like you if we were 25 i would of married you but i dont want you to wait that long. then when i asked him if he would ever be ready for a relationship and it would be with me he was like i dont know, i dont know. then i asked him if he loved me still, and he took a while to answer, and when he answered he didnt look at me. he replied with no because then i would be with you. minutes passed and i was just stopped crying, so i was a bit relaxed. he then mutters under his breath in a hestitating tone, "you dont know i might call you wanting you back" then when i turned around to say what, dont say that, he claims that he was joking.

anyway so thats my situation. its been about 2 months after the breakup now and i dont know what to do to get him back. im scared i have no chance anymore :(.

im just really desperate to get him back, his the love of my life and i would do absolutely anything.

could you please try help me? :(

Alicia

Leanna 7 months ago

Okay, so I read your article and it's very convincing. But what do you do when your boyfriend leaves you for the same reason twice and before he breaks up with you he goings around telling/asking people what he should do. So then he breaks up with you and maybe like 3 weeks later hes trying to make you jealous? shouldn't it be the other way around? Shouldn't I be making him jealous?

leanne 7 months ago

Hi thank you for the article and video, but I would be very grateful for more advice as im very lost, my boyfriend and I broke up 3 weeks ago after a silly drunken fight that got out of hand and resulted in both our families arguing, my ex and I were together almost 3 years and have been through so much together we were friends before we dated and it took a lot for us to get together, 2 years ago my mum passed away and I was left to care for my 2 year old sister and my ex helped me through so much I honestly couldn't have done it without him, we moved in together shortly after my mums death and I moved back home after miscarrying our baby. We have still been in contact and I have broken all the rules of the video!! I know he wants back together and friends have told me he has cried to them on nights out and he misses me, Last weekend we were out celebrating a friends 21st and had a great night together and ended up kissing at the end of the night!! We have been texting a lot and just generally talking but a few days ago we were talking face to face and really getting along well, hugging and complimenting one another and just said goodbye when 2 members of my family were calling and saw him and told him he wasn't welcome and had to leave, I apologized to him and he said I shouldn't as it wasn't my fault, I'm just worried now that I won't be able to repair this relationship and I'm devastated last week I lost my job and the free time is making me constantly think about the relationship, I will be so grateful for any advice from anyone who thinks they can help me.

azreena 7 months ago

omg, thank you so much for this! :) my situation is exactly like donna. my boyfriend(temporarily apart) said he needed space and he wasn't sure if he loves me anymore. i'm going to try what you recommended and see how it goes. thanks again! xo

Lauren 7 months ago

Hey Essy!

Just like all the other heartbroken ladies, im extremley happy that i found this site. Just to give you a quick rundown of my situation. I met this guy that started off as my roommate, but then we turned into a couple. He was always so afraid of being in a relationship, but after a few months, things really started to work out. There was the stress of another roommate that put strain on us, but we worked through it. We broke up about a month ago, because i had went through his phone, and saw that he had mentioned moving to arkansas. i confronted him (which was the end of the relationship). He stated it didnt mean anything, but he said that he will never trust me again. I did the whole, texting and calling for a few days but after him stating it wasnt helping anything and that he needed some time to figure his own life out. He moved to his sisters, but in my heart of hearts, i know he is the one for me. Ive distrated myself with doing other things and picked myself up. I just dont know if he will ever trust me again and im just trying to figure how to do so.

any help would mean so much to me!!

Trisha 7 months ago

Here is the story

I have known my ex for 10years...him and I dated for 6 1/2 years he left me for another girl that he works with. Him and I haven't spoke now in 2 months and I was sexual abused growing up and am having a hard time re-learning to deal with everything with him not being in my life. Also, just found out that my grandma is dying of cancer and they only gave her a few months to live. I haven't gave in a called my EX however everyday it becomes harder and harder for me to not pick up the phone and call him. The hardest part for me is that He was the only one that I went to for the last 9years or longer and he is or was my best friend and then it turned into more and now his just gone.

I don't know how to make it all okay again. I don't know how to fix anything...When he left he told me that he didn't know what he was feeling other then that he felt that this is what he needed to do for himself.

He told me on a Monday that he wasn't happy anymore and he was moved in with the new girl that Friday. I miss him and just want maybe as much as us to be able to talk even and be friends again...but really I want him back.

kitty 7 months ago

Hi Essy,

i know you cant reply anymore but i feel like i need to get this off my chest anyway. me and my fella were together for 5 years and we have a 2 1/2 year old who we both love. we've just moved into a new 2 bed house which we just moved into exactly a month ago and after all sharing a 1 bed flat and i thought that was sorted. we have had a few arguements in the past but nothing i would consider major just silly stuff like him being lazy with the house and me having to do all the cleaning and cooking, the last one was over a stupid text that i sent him which he felt insinuated he was lying as to were he was and if i could take it back i would as i love him with all my heart. he came home monday and just said that its over and that was that. there was no talking he would just say he'd had enough of me bing controlling and nagging which i will hold my hands up to but i am trying to stop that. but he wont even give me a chance to work through this his other reson was lack of sex or closeness and i tried to explain that he needed to spend time with me for those things to happen he couldnt just finish work go out and then expect to come home and have it on tap a woman needs sothing more than just ''come on lets crack on'' well i do anyway. ive dont all the worng things and phoned and text him which is driing him mad but i feel like if i dont then im not fighting for us and he'll just go away. i know our relationship isnt perfect and we have had a few moments when i thought we were over for good but he always came back, this time feels different as i said we have the house and he is handing the notice in on it which means he goes back to his family and i go back to mine but i dont want it, i want our family unit together, why cant he see that, weve only been there a month and my daughter loves it, it will crush me and her when we leave what can i do to stop this from happening as once its dont i know i will never forgive him for it especially because of her and the house. thanks for listening

Bonita 7 months ago

We were best friends for a couple of years, Then after five years he proposed, We was also saving for a mortgage and planning a family, Then one day after a weekend up he's dads he comes back and tell's me were over, That his head isnt right that he doesn't want a relationship with anyone, That he still loves me but isnt to sure if he's still in love, But yet it was only the week before this he had this crazy idea to just go and get married now, Lets just do it he said but i said lets wait like a fool, I was being selfish and wanted the dream wedding, My school was never allowed a prom i know that sounds daft, But i just wanted that day where i wore a beautiful gown and it was something so special, He's so confusing it drives me mad, When he told me this i colloapsed and had a panick attack and couldn't breathe, Then a couple of weeks later we spoke here n there by phone, I'd cry and tell him how i felt but tried to stay strong and everyone commented how well i was coping, But inside i was a mess and still am although i did lose a whole stone from losing my appetite everyone was concerned for this reason, Making sure they actually see me eat, No one at work believed i was eating that my manager would watch me eat my lunch, She would pop upstairs for a chat but i know what she was playing at as she would always make a comment about eating, I knew i didnt want to eat to be honest i didnt even really think about it, So i made sure i was eating fruit and veg atleast i would be getting some nurishment even though i was eating like a rabbit, Then after a while he said that he didnt want me out of his life so we started spending a bit of time together like dating as he couldn't hack it with out me, While we was doing this it was suppost to help him realise what he wanted out of life if i was in it or not, But everytime he said we will talk about it at the end of the month ill know then, This was never true yes he would speak but yet it was the same crap coming out of his mouth that he didn't know, Now over four months have passed since the day he ended it although my appetite is back i believe due to us being close together again it was like we was back together but without the official part about it, It still helped but now were on a months break even thou were not together anyway, To see how that makes him feel without any contact what so ever cold turkey he said, But that he's not giving me any promises, He's so negative about us how is it suppost to help him if he thinks negative all the time, Its now day three of our months seperation and im actually dreading the day he tells me yet another no that will be the final end to us, I love him with all my heart have done for so many years i thought he was the one, His surname is a very common colour and its a constant reminder, I have initials tattooed on the side of my wrist i try not to think about it, Then someone comments on how pretty it is then it just brings it all back again, Luckily thou you cant tell it's a initial as its hidden in a swirly pattern, But i will always know and if i tell you what it is people can work it out, So i have this on my body and also have my old engagement ring on the opposite hand now to find i cant actually get it off, Wont budge past my knuckle just my luck, I wish with all my heart that in a months time or less that he will ring me and tell me he really does love me, But will it actually happen, I try do be bubbly and put a front on but inside im shatterd, And cant even bring myself sometimes to do anything, I think if it werent for my job i wouldnt even get up in the morning, Please someone give me some advice i feel like im going round in circles while getting more painful rather it hurting less X

Caroline from Norway 7 months ago

Hi. I know you have a loads of questions waiting on your shoulders but I have such a panic right now.

I dated a guy for 3 months(the longest for me, and i think the longest for him also. non of us have ever had a real boy/girlfriend) and one week and two days ago he dumped me. And his reason was that for the last week he did not miss me as more as a friend. and he thought that it would be better for us to just be friends. I talked to him yesterday because i did never get the chance of letting things of my chest. and he was very kind and it all went well. we were on the same party last weekend, he was very wasted and he snogged with another girl. and i told him that it really hurt me because of the fact that it was just fore days after our breakup. and he apologized and told me that he felt very stupid about the whole thing with the other girl and that he didn't know what he were thinking while doing it.

and why did he just dump me like that? why did it take him 3 MONTHS to figure out that he just wanted me as a friend? For me it feels like he is unsure of himself, he is the type of persone who you have a real hard time figuring out. Most because he is a bit.. shy and reserved. yeah.. he apologized and said that he felt stupid because of the fact that he just dumped me like that without any warning. We was never good at talking about feelings, and it feels like if we had been more open towards eachother it would'nt have ended this way, because I know that he didn't doubt on me from beginning to start. i recognized a change in the way he acted towards me the week before the breakup, and it feels like it was THEN his doubt started, and that he never had one before.

I know it just have been a week and it's not weird that I'm still feeling this way, but oh my god, I want him back! Secretly I'm hoping for him to come knocking on my door, pleeding for taking him back.

I must get his attention again!! And I hate that we have all these mutal friends who hang with eachother. WHat shall I do to get him back?

Nish 7 months ago

Hi Nish

I am completely distraught. My partner of 18 months broke up with me last night. I begged him for an hour. How humiliating...I have never been so weak before. He said that we wasn't IN LOVE with me anymore but I think he was just saying it. I could tell it was taking all of his courage to tell me that it was over. He is extremely sensitive and needs ego boosting all the time. I had never really come across that in my previous relationships. I myself don't need ego boosting. At any rate, I changed myself to try and give him what he craved and obviously I was not good enough. I made him feel crappy about himself and was not supportive enough. But I feel like he needed to stop internalizing everything that I said. I think that sometimes I was very attacking - when I was feeling defensive. We had issues and we fought like any normal couple. We were great together in most ways. His dumping me came as a total shock to me. It's like something that he just randomly decided to do.

Do you think I have a chance to be with him again, if I give him space? What can I do?

I know with 100 % certainty that he is the man I want. He is well worth it in so many ways. He makes me happy. I want to make him happy. I will see a psychologist in the interim to try and gain some skills. But what else can I do?

sharon 7 months ago

Me and my boyfriend just broke up yesterday. he said he still likes me and that he just needs to focus on hockey. He said he wants to get back together once he has gotten over our fight. Our fight was because I was "ignoring" him at our homecoming game. When he was tlaking to his friends and i was talking to mine. Anyways, i would like to know if he actually wants to get back together. I went out to dinner with my neighbors and they are his friends and he was there. they made me sit by him and he never said a word to me or looked at me. Is that a bad sign?

Ashley 7 months ago

So I broke up with my long-distance boyfriend two days ago because he wasn't calling or texting anymore, and he counteracted by breaking-up with me because he thinks I'm too young (I'm 22, he's 33) but I love him to death and want him back. I made the mistake of "stalking" him and he just kept texting me to stop and that he'd call me late (still hasn't called in two days). Is it too late for me? Or if I ignore him and concentrate on what I'm doing in my life, do you think he'll want me back? I'm stressing out BIG TIME! BTW loved the article!

Jess 7 months ago

I'm going to try to make this as short as possible. I dated my ex for three years. We did everything together and I even worked for his family business. The reason why we broke up was because we fought too much. It's been two months since we've broke up, and yes ill admit, I was possessive and would phone him all the time. But I need to stop. My biggest issue is I picture my ex finding another girl or hooking up with another girl and it scares me to the point where I feel like throwing up. His input on this situation is "I can see us together, just not right now. I don't know what I want right now."

I've tried everything, and I've ran out of options. It feels like this is just a game. He ignores me or vis versa. It's hot and cold. Everyday is different.

I do believe we belong together... I just don't know what my next step into getting him back should be. Help :(

Sam 7 months ago

My biggest issue is picturing or imagining him with other girls. That is what makes me constantly text him or call him because I'm always worried and have that "sick to the stomach" feeling. He does hang out with other girls while at parties (girls who I personally do not like) and I'm always scared that I'm going to hear from somebody that he's hooked up with one of them.

I can't stop thinking about it and it's driving me insane. I don't want to constantly call him because I know that just pushes him away but I'm so terrified of him falling for another girl and moving on.

What can I do to stop this?

Anna 6 months ago

Hi Essy!

I am a little desperate, too. My boyfriend of 4 years (he is 30, I'm 26) broke up with me 3 days ago. It was something really sudden, the night before we were together, totally in love, planning our trip during Christmas holidays.

He told me he loves me and he is still in love with me and this doesn't have to do with me. He just wants to be alone, he was in a relationship the last 4 years and he wants to be alone now and think about his work and what to do in the future. I asked him if its just a period that he wants to be alone and relax or a decision that could be changed since he made it so quickly and said he was thinking of it for a while. But everything was the same and perfect for me! I never pushed him or stressed him for anything.

He actually said that he wants to be alone and miserable and think about his job and everything he is not satisfied in his life with, like that he still lives with his parents. Being with me made him happy and distracted him from the problems he had to solve.

He cares about me and wants to have a contact. His birthday is in 10 days and he told me he'd like to hear from me.

It's been 3 days after the break up,I haven't done any of the mistakes yet, that's why I've been searching what to do. I just accepted his decision for now, but I want him back!

Do you thinh there's any chance? Should I contact him and when? Tell him that i'd like to meet him and if so, what to do next?

Thank you,

Anna

Becca 6 months ago

Hello Essy!

I was seeing my BF for a little more than 2 months. When we started dating I had recently gone through a breakup.. and even told the new guy I would understand if he didn’t want to date me right away to avoid any unwanted drama.. He did not want to do that, so we tried to take it slow... Everything seemed great.. Until about the last week we were together. When he broke up with me he said "I can't date you right now". I am pretty sure it's because he wants to make sure I am independent from a BF... and didn’t want to feel like a re-bound... and he did mention he would not mind staying friends.. And even insinuated that eventually maybe it would work for us.. I understand where he is coming from but I was still very upset.. I didn't want him to see how upset I was so I declined his offer to be friends and asked him to please leave my house... It has been about a week and I have not contacted him at all.

He texted me the next day saying he had something of mine and asked if he could bring it over. This gave me the impression he wanted an excuse to see me.. I said I was not home and offered the option of leavening it with our mutual friend that I knew he would be seeing the next day if that worked out easier for him.. and that’s exactly what he ended up doing..

I am not sure what to do in this situation because I would like to show him I am independent, would LOVE to give our relationship another chance, and show him he is NOT a re-bound... I like the idea of not contacting him to show independence and what not, however being I did not show interest in staying friends I am nervous he will take me seriously and not call or text me. Should I text him first? And if so when would be too soon?

I hope you can help me :-[

Emanuela 6 months ago

Unfortunately, I already made the mistakes. It's too late.

sarah 6 months ago

Hi, my boyfriend and i just broke up due to the stresses of uni. He ended it saying he still loves me but just cant deal with the relationship anymore for some silly reason, which i wont go into, that can be worked on i feel. We were in a relationship for 2years and 2months but have been best friends since i was in year 9! I miss talking to him each day and am sticking to your no talking rule but was wondering how long do i leave it? We still want to be friends you see so i don't want to leave it too long and lose contact with him as we wont see each other till we are back home at Christmas :( My friend suggested writing him a letter but i don't know what to do! Do i sent it and if so how long do i leave it till i send it as we have been broken up for a week now. Plus if i don't send it what should i do to get him back as i still want him in my life even if it is just friends.

Thanks x

Xyza 6 months ago

I came across this page in desperation. I was in a short but so meaningful relationship recently and I'm so bothered by it because that's rare for me. I rarely ever take an interest in a guy. And this guy REALLY did like me. It was an immediate attraction. We had a couple "new relationship" fights, you know about the stupid differences you later learn to accept.

One of those fights caused me to hurry and drive away from his apartment, which I later learned he ran after me for at least a mile. He said later he should have run further and begged for a second chance. I always asked him what he wanted. He told me he wanted a relationship with me. Then he asked me to be his girlfriend. EVERYONE who saw us together, his friends my friends new friends, everyone thought we both were great together. One thing I will never forget telling him is that even if I'm not the one he is supposed to be with forever, I am the one he is supposed to be with right now. And right now was not supposed to be as short as it was.

He is an assistant manager at a restaurant and a few days ago his ex girlfriend came in to eat. Not to see him. This is a girl he had not seen or heard from in at least six months. He told me he is "too head over heels in love with her to ever be happy with anyone else." e said she was the only one who could ever make him truly happy.

I am totally fine giving him the time and space he needs to get over her because I've been there. She isn't interested in being back with him either. And it was only something we had for a couple weeks but when something feels that right, it can't be a mistake. I can't say I love him but I really think I not only could, but would.

I've had a bit of a horrendous past concerning men, starting from age 4, so you can probably guess the rest! I'm 19 now, he is 20. I know we are both young. Which brings me back to what I said before, maybe we aren't meant to be together forever, but we are meant to be together right now.

I'm trying to win back my ex who is trying to win back hiis ex. It's a total MESS! And I am honestly heartbroken. We have decided to start completely over as friends as though we never dated and never knew each other. A fresh, clean start. I agreed to that because if I'm going to lose him at all, I'm not going to lose him completely. I'd rather have him as a friend than not have him at all, even though I would much prefer a relationship. Even if that relationship isn't right now but in the future. I don't want to be just friends. Everyone knows that. He knows that. On some level I think he feels the same.

I haven't ever been this happy from another person's care for me. And it's something I really want to keep in my life.

Email me at ninasupernova1@yahoo.com with your thoughts.

SS 6 months ago

Help!

I broke all the rules!!! We broke up a year ago, but kept in touch up until 3 weeks ago. We tried being friends, although, we both maintained we weren't budging. I wanted the relationship, he wanted friendship. I finally blew up 3 weeks ago out of pure frustrataion because when we hung out it was like old times, and yet he wasnt changing his mind. I am now coming up to 3 weeks of no contact. Is all hope lost?

Nicole 6 months ago

Hey, Essy,

I don't know if you have ever dealt with something like this, but, I recently started college (where every kind of drama seems to pop up, haha) and there was this one guy that I realized I liked. So, we stated seeing each other but never became official. After a bit, he broke up with me and started seeing some other girl; and I found out that he actually had a girlfriend back home. However, throughout that whole time, he still kept in contact with me. He later got dumped by the other girl (not the girlfriend)after she found out that he had a girlfriend. After a few days we started actually talking again and decided we'd take it really slow. But in the mean time I didn't know how I really felt towards him since I felt like I was being treated like a yo-yo and I was still trying to figure out where I felt on the sliding scale of LOVE/HATE with him, so, I kind of made out with his room mate who I didn't actually feel anything for besides friendship. Me and the room mate broke it off after things started progressing with the guy I like and then things really started moving fast. A few days passed and I realized that I really DID love the guy I liked and I felt really scared about it and he ignored me the next day that we saw each other and it really confused me because we communicate really poorly.

And so I kind of turned back to the room mate and then the guy I actually like caught us making out and then caught us in bed and after that unfriended me on facebook (which I know isn't everything, but to him, it is), and I'm pretty sure he is now "official" with his girlfriend again on facebook.

I also stopped being with the room mate because I actually know how I feel and it is only a sibling-relationship and I don't want to lie to myself anymore.

I know I shouldn't have, but I was so scared that he was trying to play with me the whole time and I wanted to know if I could forget him if I was with somebody else, but I couldn't. Each time I'd kiss the room mate, I'd think of him. Each time we'd be together, I thought of him.

I broke the rules, and I wanted to know if there was any way that you'd be able to help me.

Please.

I was scared of my feelings before, but if there is any way that you can help me, then I'd do anything.

Mandy1134 6 months ago

Hey Essy,

I saw your video after breaking up with my boyfriend of six months and I followed your advice and I think it's working well. My only question is, how long should it take before he starts to come back? Is there a specific time line until he moves on for good?

Andrea 6 months ago

Hello, So...I just got out of a one year relationship not too long ago and i feel like i need advice on this situation..

So, randomly one day he told me that he needed a break because we would be at different colleges and such which at the time, freaked me out because I wasn't expecting this but I convinced him to change his mind that day.

The next day was kind of weird between us and i brought the subject up again. His next excuse was that

"he wasn't sure it was because he was hanging with a friend of his (who is single) but he wanted to be single for a while" but he still wanted to be friends with me and hang out and talk to me...which i didn't get because in a break this should be a time where both partners don't talk to each other for a bit right?..i probably over reacted..

but i tried to tell him the next two days that's how it should be because he then gave me another reason that maybe he was in a slump or something so he said he'd think about everything for a day and talk to me the next day.

well, the next day comes around he didn't talk to me at all that day and the day after we only talked at a tennis practice of ours..for like 20 minutes which didn't help anything and he ditched me to go play with a friend when he came back from a break during our talk. So, i told him i needed a break for a week...i only lasted five days and when i brought him his favorite candy as a peace offering and a poem to express my sorrow and that I wanted him back but if he wanted to break up then i would do anything even be his friend to have him in my life,i wasn't expecting him to really break up with me.

He told me he wanted how our relationship was in the beginning and that I have changed( but i was trying to change before this situation came about and it seemed like i didn't even have enough time..)

So i said ok if that is what you want and I left.

Since last wednesday I have been trying to be positive out the wahzoo, and i know this break up isn't right because I just feel mentally empty and a part of me is missing.

i need help:/

leah:) 6 months ago

hello(:

this video is amazing.. didn't realise how silly I was being in following my gut instinct..

my ex is a lovely guys, and well.. we broke up a day after our 2 month anerversairy on sunday just gone.. I know not long, but I've known him quite well before we got together. we went on a 3 day break on monday 7th. I saw him on tuesday and we made it officail, even though I didn't want it.. he texted me telling me what I said about the break was playing on his mind-but I never meant any of it.. he was meeting another girl within the 3 day break, nothing serious, but when I found out-I got angry and threatened her, which pushed him away more (only meeting to talk about college, pffttt.. he told me she likes him.. totally be fucking her next:/) his mates where shouting at me in town, calling me by his name.

the 2 days went-I saw him friday night and he said he don't know what he wants no more, I was close to his family, and he was to mine, so it hurt when he said that, because I'd miss them too. I said, "give it another week?" he agreed, but had doubts we'd be distant and not the same..

on saturday (2 nights ago) he told me he was watching football, it finished at 7,so I thought we could meet, but he was out with his mates at half 6 (so in a way, he lied to me), I got annoyed and me and my mate went out drinking. she had most of it, because he don't like seeing me drink. I had say, 2 big gulps and then threw it up (hate cider!) and then I saw him later on. he asked me if I'd been drinking, (I chose my words wisely baring in mind he don't like me drinking-he wouldn't stop me, would just never meet me when I had drunk, but I never drank while I was with him) my friend said "no, she ai't been drinking" he told me to swear down on his like I hadn't been drinking. I said "I swear down on your life, I ain't drunk" because I wasn't drunk, I only said "do I look pissed?" and "I'm not drunk" therefore I didn't lie to him. but my friend is going out with his beat mate, he met his best mate the next day and he told him I had been drinking, he told me "I can't do this anymore leah you lied to me" (not that I actually did:/)

and I did everything on that video you said not to do.. I made so much effort after the 3 days, he just sat back and said it wouldn't be the same..

so what do I do now? I have no dog to walk, and there's nothing to do where I live.. he's out with his mates alllll the time in town.. and if I got into town, I get called namessss.. help?:(?

Dani Ann 6 months ago

My ex time me that he didn't feel the same affection for me and told me to move on. I sill really liked him, but I decided to give moving on a try. So I Hung out with my guy friend that I liked a little, but we ended up doing stuff together. Then my ex found out and got really mad at me and told me that I was a whore and he hated me. He told me I broke his heart because he still had feelings for me and was considering taking me back, but I ruined it. He also confessed he cheated on me, and it was so worth it. The next day he apologized and said he let his stress build up and explode. And he told me he still loves me and misses me. But he found out that I did more with the other guy than what I told him. Me, being my stupid self, decided to lie to him so it wouldn't hurt him as much. I told him how ridiculous it was for me to lie to him because I didn't know what to do. He now says he can't come back to me because his heart can't take it. But deep down, I know he still has feelings for me. What should I do to get him to realize how important he is to me and how sorry I am? I want to be able to get back together with him. Help???

Amy 6 months ago

My boyfriend broke up with me three weeks ago and I'm finding it very hard to get over it. We were only together a short while but we got close.

Ive had boyfriends before and never felt strongly about them. I love him and it felt different to other relationships. And I knew we were on the same page feelings wise(the way he acted and what he said).... until he broke up with me out of the blue with a stupid excuse that he was "unhappy" with us(which I know is a lie.)

It was only a few days prior he was telling me I was the most amazing person he ever met???? WTF?

I am so mad at him but at the same time, it hasnt sat right with me, the whole thing. Something just isnt right. None of it makes sense. We were great and people are shocked it ever happened.

I'm not in denial. It was very random.

I am waking up these days, in hope that today will be different. He will regret it and call. It hasnt happened yet.

Anytime I see him in college, he speedwalks past or darts out of sight? I do nothing only walk like I always did. With confidence. Its not like im going around in tears?

What to do? Please please help?!!?

A.E.H 6 months ago

Im very interested in this article. so let me tell you about my situation i would really love some advise as what i should do.

my ex and I were going out for almost a year, we almost had a baby together but we lost her. during the last month we were together we fought a lot, i thought i was pregnant again and i was feeling very insecure, and it showed.

when we broke up he told me that he didnt feel that he loved me anymore, and he was not happy. which completely killed me inside because I did nothing but love him, and try to do anything i possibly could for him. we got back together a week later after the first break up, and that lasted a week, i asked him why we got back together and he basically told me it was to make his mother happy because she adores me. and this led to the next break up.

i started reading these articles and it makes a lot of sense but the thing is i have some doubt if it will work, which bothers me.

in some articles it says to write a hand written letter letting him know that i have moved on and end it on a cliff hanger, will that work?

and another thing is i just found out that there is a new girl in the picture?

im so confused! what do I do?

Unknown. 6 months ago

Hey, im in a really sticky situation. Me and my boyfriend are still together but not at the same time it's an on and off thing a rollercoaster. and the biggest reason why: is he has trust issues, he acts completly pyschotic at times. Im NOT unfaithful to him and we have been together for 2.5 years now and he says i stress him and that he is unhappy, but at the same time we have good times too ... it's really hard to deal with this i can't do anything without him getting the wrong idea. i can't see one my own girls until i prove it to him by leaving the phone on so he can hear the background, it's really complicated and him treating me so bad all the time is stressing me out too. but we are addicted to each other, no matter the fight some way some how we connect again. it's a hate love relationship and im sick of it, I want us to be happy again, in the beginning of the relationship we were.. once we got more sexual he became too possessive and im his only his, but i dont know what to do to make this work. We cant live without one another but there's so much damange in the relationship i dont know how to even repair it, I know this is kinda far from the usual break up advice you give, but i want my man to come to me, be happy with me, stop fighting, and appreciate the love i have for him (which is alot) instead of doubting me all the time for doing whore-ish things. Please help if you can i've almost lost hope.

sarah 6 months ago

Hey, so I haven't broken any of the rules but the guy that i am completely inlove with still hasn't given me the time of day. I see him and we smile and kind of joke around and it seems like he is flirting but I'm never sure what to say or do to get him back. Please help i've never felt this way about a guy before.

Savvie 6 months ago

Okay... So. My boyfriend and I have dated a few times before and we've always seemed to come back to each other. He told me he didn't want to break up with me but he said I was rude to him and I was NEVER unreasonable with him.. Yeah I got upset at him a few times for stupid things he said but never enough to make me want to break up with him.. We were just coming up on our 1 month and I even told him I still loved him and Yeah.. I've broken the rules..); I told him I wouldn't take him back but I regret it.. I miss him too much and I don't only want him back.. I NEED him back. He completes me and every Friday I would send him a unique love note thing over text.. Well if you were wondering we broke up because one of his friends was constantly making fun of me and he wasn't doing anything about it so we were arguing about it over text and after school I went up behind him and covered his eyes with my hands and hugged him and after that he turned around and I went to hug him but instead of taking me into his arms he backed away and told me he was breaking up with me, waved his hand and walked away. I turned to my friend and cried into her shoulder. I couldn't stop myself. I was crying for 3 hours straight and I text him and I told him I still loved him and that I couldn't help it.. I kept texting him over and over. He called me for nothing and I was talking and he would occasionally but after about 4-5 minutes his mom got home and he had to go.. So we were texting for a bit and then he just stopped and I don't know why.. I called him and his phone was on but he didn't answer.. Your advice is helpful but it's so early and I honestly don't know where to start..);

Please help me

Xoroxiex1995 6 months ago

Hey there

My boyfriend of 9 months and I broke up, I guess we decided we'd go two weeks and see how it goes and then whatever happens happens. But the day after we broke up(yesterday) I went over his house to chill and see what was up, all day we layer in his bed and played cards and watched tv and flirted and bla bla bla we ended up having sex and then after that the flirting was to a minimal and he tried texting me last night numerous times saying you know were broke up right? Would you like to be friends with benefits? Do you not wunna talk to me? I had been asleep so I still haven't answered. What do I do??

kati 5 months ago

Hi!

My boyfriend is openly flirting with other women and two days ago we fought about it,he said he was drunk although I was there and I do not think he was so much.Now he is sweet but this has become a pattern so I want to do something. Is it the right moment to leave the place where we live and tell him we break up having in mind he is getting a lot of attention from one of the girls he flirted with the other night. I want him to run to me after I live in a friend's place and then go back home for Christmas but I am afraid that if I break up and play as if I am not missing him he will not immediately run to the new girl thinking for me it is totally over.

What to do :(

shannie 5 months ago

Hi Essy,

I wish you could give me some advise on how to get him back to me as I really love him so much. I broke up with him since 1-2weeks ago.

We've been together for 3years and just all of sudden he ignored my sms, calls, msn without letting me know the reason !! After plenty of sms, he finally replied me with "Give me few weeks to cool down and sometime for myself". So i've promised to give him his time but i will keep on sms him 'reporting' what i'm doing currently(as usual).

After a week he request come to my house to pick up all his things and giving me back my house gate remote control. And i let him do so.

After 3weeks and i really very worry what's happened to him. So in sms i asked him what's really happened and of cause with some moral support. But he replied me with an email saying that he is not the person for me and wanna break up..and finally he confronted me in msn and i tried to save this relationship, but he asked me to respect his decision and saying that he can't accept what i'm doing currently (keep annoying him when he say he need times to cool down).

HELP!! What should i do now? and there is still some belongings(clothes, etc) of him in my house, what should i do with them?? Is there any chances for us to get back ??

Ashley 5 months ago

I can't begin to tell u how hopeful I feel after bumping into this page...this is like heaven!

My boyfriend of two years broke up with me just a week ago and I couldn't eat and sleep and all that stupid stuff....can't believe I couldn't eat and sleep. At the back of my mind, I know he'll come back..only that I don't want to make any mistakes. I texted him once...casually and said that I'm getting back to school. No hi, no bye, no how are you, nothing. And I haven't even touched my phone since. I blocked most of my facebook from him...except my status...where I write all these giddy updates. He broke up with me because his family was being too overbearing and kept feeding him negative things about me, even though we don't live in the same town. I always want to text, but I have had to have so much self control and not even look at past messages. I have thought about writing a letter to remind him of all the good times we've had together...I actually drafted it, but didn't send it. But I guess that letter about how I'm doing just fine will be going out his way VERY SOON! I'm even excited to write it! I swear if this works, I will proclaim it for the world to see...he's an amazing guy...amazing...we talked marriage, kids, kids names, what colors we were gonna paint our house, what kind of wedding we wanted...we had a wonderful relationship going on and we were madly in love. Sooooo, I'm saying it again, no matter how long it takes, if I eventually get him back, you will hear about it! Time to take care of myself now :-)

Juhaszova 5 months ago

I and John has been together for 8 years. We both put our capital together to open a supermarket and since then we have been living happily without any problem. I always discuss about marriage with John but he replies me with, we will soon get married. I was surprise on Friday evening when i was in my brother's house, John called me on phone and told me that we can no longer carry on with the relationship because he has find himself a rich a lady whom he want to get married to. I shocked and hospitalize for 4 days. I was so tired and tried to take my life because i truly love him. All the investment was opened in his name and signature and i am left with nothing. One Sunday evening when i was searching online for help, i was directed to ancientremedy1@gmail.com. I contacted him and he told me what i need to provide for he to bring back my happiness. I never believe in him because he was requesting for money which i don't have, i discussed it with my brother and he decided to assist me because he wants the best for me. I sent him what was required of me by the temple and four days after i contacted him, John came back begging for my forgiveness. I was so surprise that it worked. I and John are happily married today and i won Dr. Hunt my happiness. If anyone need to be happy in any circumstance, i will advise you to contact Dr. Hunt through ancientremedy1@gmail.com and his website is www.ancientremedystemple.tk Juhaszova

Rei 5 months ago

My bf of over 2 years broke up with me a few days ago out of the blue. He said that he didn't really feel the same as he used to and that he wanted his stress free life back. We've been living together for over a year so I can't help but break the limited contact rule and I know its not helping me in the slightest and I'm not sure what I should do about it.

T.J 5 months ago

This page rocks! it's stuff I kind of already knew I had to do but it's fantastic reinforcement..

I moved to australia from NZ and ended up being in contact with a guy online from back home in NZ that was in our crowd from high school..

We chatted several times a day and nights for 3 months before meeting up again (he came over to australia for 9 days on the 18th Nov) From day 1 of ph contact, we connected on every

single level.. Was almost too

good to be true. everything seemed perfect and we both fell in love even with no physical contact. I kinda said in my own head, don't get your hopes up, things might not be all that once yourve met.. I was trying to be realistc

Jolene 5 months ago

My boyfriend,

he broke my heart 3 times. Now he said he does not feel the romance between us anymore. He said he loves me, but cannot be together now. I just feel crazy at times...

All the things we have gone through, it just poof away... now he has his career and i am still in uni. I helped him a lot, he was not rich but now with his current career as magician, he is earning a lot and yet he's leaving because perhaps I have nothing to offer.

He was loving before but when he started to work in club, everything changed. :'(

When he does not have a car, I helped him a lot, using my car driving him. He halt in his studies now..

Darrian 5 months ago

Essy,

Your friend Donna's break up is exactly how the break up I just experienced went. I was with Mario for a year and half when he decided that he wanted some space. He said that I'm loving him with all my heart and that he wants to make sure that he can give that much love back. So he thinks that it's best that we broke up. And honestly I was completely shocked when he said that he wanted break up. I mean we had been doing so well. We hadn't fought in weeks and I thought that things were pretty great. I'll admit. I broke a few rules after 3 or 4 days we broke up. He doesn't have his phone because he let his dad use it for awhile, so all I had to talk to him on was FB (I'm in college and he's a senior in high school so we only see each other on the weekends). We ended up talking about the break up again, and I realized that I couldn't make him change his mind (in all honesty I was crying the whole time trying to convince him). I know he loves me. I found your website through a google search and I just bought the discounted book "How to Win Him Back" by Jemima Fox (Thank you VERY much for getting the discount. It's MUCH appreciated). I plan on reading it after I send this comment to you. Even if I don't get back with Mario, I thank you very much for providing the information and reccomending the book. I will keep you posted if I get my boyfriend back.

Thank you =)

Darrian

lulu 5 months ago

Dear Essy or anyone that can provide some insight,

I have an extremely unique break up situation that the Win Him Back system can barely help me with, other than recognize why we broke up.

Let me begin,

My ex boyfriend and I began dating after I broke up from a long term relationship with a mutual friend of ours. Let's just stay it started out pretty drama-filled. I had known my current ex for a while and we were very good friends. We are also in musical groups together. We have the same social circle. It just made sense and everything clicked. It was amazing. It was perfect. Until something happened. Basically, things that I did that lead him to not feel attracted to me anymore.

Needless to say I have to see him on a regular basis if I want to stay in my bands (which I do), and doing the whole "no contact" period is unavoidable. What can I do, knowing that we are seeing each other every day, to bring back those feelings that he used to have for me? I am so lost...

Leslie 5 months ago

Dear Essy,

So I'm the culprit here. I broke up with my boyfriend in September because I wasn't sure if he was the One and I was in a really bad part of my life. We had been together for 5 years, since I was 18, so I had freaked out about being unsure. Even though I wanted space from the relationship, I still wanted to see him and we saw each other about once a week. Nothing sexual, just enjoying each other's company. I realized how much I loved him and that I really loved him more than anything and that he was my soul mate. Life throws some pretty awful curve balls at you though. Right before I was going to tell him this past weekend that I wanted him back he informs me he is tired of my games, isn't in love with me anymore, and that he's dating again and wants to move on. I am more than devestated and hate myself so much. He won't believe anything I've said. I wrote him an email basically begging for him to take me back because I couldn't imagine a future without him. After I calmed down a little and collected myself, I wrote a goodbye email. I guess now I realize he is never coming back if he's convinced now I'm an awful person who was playing with his heart this whole time.

What can I do? I pray that not having any contact ever again will help him realize I was telling the truth, that I am sorry, and I made the biggest mistake of my entire life.

Please Essy. Any advice you can give me would be most appreciated.

Thank you.

Vani 5 months ago

Okay so first off let me start by saying that is some great advice and I've lost many good ex's because I did the total opposite ): but currently I have a boyfriend and he is such an honest and genuine guy.

Except lately he's been kind of, I guess not appreciating me as much.

The other day at a party at his house I walked into his room and saw him there and his ex sitting on his bed (he was standing up and away from her). At the party I acted cool and didn't bring it up. But the next day I gave him a mouthful. He said he didn't know she was coming and swore that he tried to leave the situation. It was getting a bit better until he told me he texted her to tell her the party was at his house (his explanation: I did that bc I didn't want her to come. She's in the sister sorority of the frat who threw the party so she knew about it but she didn't know it was at my house. So I told her thinking she'd feel awkward and not come. She told me she wasn't coming) So I question him more on this bc it upsets me that he texted her that and he says he told her it was at his house because he didn't want her to see me and him together because it would hurt her. What?!?

I mean how ridiculous does that sound?? "I told my ex the party was at my house bc I didn't want her to be hurt when she saw us together" She needs to see us together and a bf should want to show his gf off to their ex.

Granted, they knew eachother for 4 years and he broke her heart so he felt like he owed her. But he knows that A) she still had feelings for him, so why would you talk to her anyways? B) She followed him on our first date....creepy much? And C) She gave me the dirtiest looks once when I saw her.

He says he did everything he could to get her out of his room, which is def not true. He sugar coated it, and said things like "well, I gotta go back to the party" or "well, time to find my drink" when I think he should've just told her she was crossing the line and to get off his bed. Walking into that was the worst feeling ever and I can't stop picturing it. It sickens me knowing she left feeling accomplished. And that he wanted so badly to not hurt her feelings, even though she's crossed the line many times. He apologized, yes, and he said he was wrong and he shouldn't have been as kind as he was. But I'm thinking, then why don't you tell her she was being out of line? (ofcourse, I don't want to seem like the mean guy and say that) I don't know what to do. I want to tell him I need time to think or that I need a break, so that he feels really bad and starts appreciating me (& hopefully tell his ex to stop) But I don't know if it's that crucial. And I feel like its letting her win. He knows that she crossed the line. He said he can't believe she did that and is disgusted with her. But how can I show him that she needs to know this? I don't want to just tell him to tell her. I hinted it and even said "she needs to know to stop" but I guess he didn't take that as a hint to tell her.

I once was in a 2 year relationship, and after we broke it off, I was desperate and heartbroken and did everything opposite from these rules, and ofcourse called many times an left many messages. He ended up telling me to stop and his girlfriend telling me the same. Why is my current bf not doing this? I stopped after that happened bc I realized my 2 year guy was over me and with an other girl. Even though my boyfriend now says he shouldn't have been that kind to his ex, if he really felt that way he would tell her he's happy with me. I literally just want to scream and some advice will be perfect right now ):

Spring 5 months ago

Hey!

I read your article, it was amazing! I have the same problem and I really missed my Ex bf. I did all the things that u mentioned we shouldnt do them! I am so ruin about it! But I still have hope to get him back! I know he still have some feeling about me... I will try to use your advices. I just wanna thank you for your great info...

Good Luck :)

inarrah 5 months ago

Hi Essy,

I'm having a really difficult time with a break-up. My now ex-boyfriend has recently made a huge change in his life plans, and now he's saying he's unsure about where he's going, what he wants to do and whether or not our relationship is something he wants. he says the only thing he knows is that while he's figuring it all out, he can't be in a relationship. we were so happy together and our relationship seemed so right. we were bestfriends with so much in common who had so much fun together, with the added physical and romantic feelings that are required to have a romantic relationship. he told me that i was the only person he felt like he could completely be himself around, and I felt the same. I don't understand how he could do a complete 180. Suddenly he's saying that he's not sure what he wants, but i dont understand what else he could possibly want in a relationship. everyone is saying that there's nothing i can do because this isnt about me, its about him, but i just feel like there has to be something i can do to show him that being together while he figures everything else out is the best idea. he's told me that he hasnt been particularly happy since we broke up and hes been much more emotional than normal and is having a hard time, but he still says he cant be with me. i just dont know what to do. do you have any suggestions? please help me, i feel completely lost

lata916 5 months ago

Hey Essy!

Well my boyfriend broke up with me a little less then a week ago and I am really depressed. We have been together for 10 months and our 11 month was coming up on the 30th. He broke up with me many times but he always came back to me but this time I don't think his going to come back. He lives 30 mins away from me so it's not like I see him or anything. The only contact I have with him is Facebook. But we haven't talked at all after we broke up. But I Take advantage of having him as a facebook friend. I act like I'm happy even though he left him and stuff. I want him back! I want him crawling back to me. Like your example the girl took salsa classes, I'm taking ballroom dancing and he knows about it but he hasnt showed if he cares or not. I really don't know what to do next. I don't want it to be too late. Please help me!!!! Thank You!

Jessica Ross 4 months ago

Hi. i've Just recently broke up with my bf, and we've been dating only for 5-6 days, and i broke up with him cause he felt so insecure of me still missing my ex (which i didnt and he heard from someone else over facebook) knowing that he was lying to me and just wanted to go out on New Years. I think i made a mistake, but sometimes i dont think i did, we went to a mall one time and he said "oh, look at that girl, she was checking me out" or "oh god that girl is so hot," in my mind i just wanted to cry cause i apparentally wasnt good enough for him... ive been asking a few friends, and my family for some advice, and they all say the same thing, "stay strong, and keep your head up, your better than him, and he treated you like dirt" Them not knowing ive been having a sexual relationship with him, and we only dated for 6 days! ive been sleeping at his apartment for 3 days, and my parents wouldnt really care, but were really concerned about me.

Im just asking how do i get over someone who was my first "sexual" relationship? and how do i build up my self-esteem back up? A reply would be wonderful!

Emanie Peters 4 months ago

Hey Essy,

My boyfriend of four months was everything I ever wanted. When we first me he lived 20 minutes away but after weeks of knowing him he received a job in Maryland & had to move 3 hours away. Even after he moved he still visit me & I visited him. He was romantic, helpful, kind & he put me first. For a short period of time the relationship was going really well & he even told me he was falling for me. After a month or two I started going back to my old ways. I was controlling, disrespectful &

when I didn't get my way things would get worse. I drove him crazy till finally he broke up with me. Since that day I was so devastated & took some time off to work on myself. I still have feelings for him & I know if I didn't drive him crazy we would still be together. I was thinking about contacting him to see if he's ok & wanted to know if that is a good idea.

Leo Grimple 4 months ago

I watched the video and the advice is great but I was wondering if it applied in a situation where i broke up with him. It wasn't very recently either. I broke up with him about 8 months ago because he was clingy and childish. But over the timeweve been apart hes changed so much. I can even see it in his body launguage. But I feel a little awkward cause I broke up with him. We Are still friends and hang out withfriends together often but I really want him back but I'm not sure how.

WhenDee 4 months ago

OMG please help me.

it has been over three months since i last heard from my ex. i still think about him every day. but he seems to have moved on so quick. i thought we were doing perfectly fine until one day we got in a fight and then he told me he didnt know if he wanted to work things out anymore. that was the last conversation i ever had with him. he didnt tell me it was over. he told me he still loved me but we were fighting too much which i dont believe. and then he just completely stopped talking to me. he ignores my calls and texts. i havent heard from him at all for three months. i really loved him and i was sure he loved me. but recently i found his facebook account that he kept a secret from me from way before he left me. and now he drinks and parties and smokes. he is completely different. i dont know what to do. we were together for two years. please help. i dont have a FB account and we go to different colleges. please reply!! i miss him so much!

Belle 4 months ago

LOL...it works for real. Mine broke up with me and now that I am doing fine he is super friendly and stuff. So funny!!

Abbie 4 months ago

Hi! My ex was a great guy. I had my first kiss with him and we had the best time together. We were totally comfortable around each other and loved talking and joking around. They were some of my happiest months. A few weeks ago, we broke up because he started liking my best friend. Worst part, she likes him back. They aren't dating, but they say sweet things to each other and send pictures to each other. I'm totally jealous and want to win him back! But how?!

Lulu 4 months ago

Hey

My ex broke up with me but is also grieving a loved one, I have been strong not initiated contact and left him hanging when he has, but I have shown support and sympathy as well as stayed strong and true to these rules, he left me without any warning or for a particularly good reason but we now live 4 hours apart, he has now started contact on a nicer level but I don't know where to go from here! When he called today asked if when I'm down south in a couple of weeks if he fancied a coffee so I could return the rest of his belongings but he wasn't sure! I'm a bit stuck :/ x

Britt 3 months ago

My boyfriend just broke up with me almost a week ago, he's my first serious boyfriend and I love him so much. He told me its cause we fought to much this past month and that its just a "break". I want him back so bad I can't hardly eat or sleep or anything! At first I ignored him and he begged me to talk to him so I broke and I talked to him. But now he's being mean and ignoring me! I kept textin him askin him for answers so he just said he can't handle it and he's done :'( but I can't lose him!! He's my best friend and only true love. Please please help!!

Rui 3 months ago

Hi,

Thanks a lot for this post and trying to help all these broken hearts.

For my situation, I was the one who initiated to break up. Last year in May, I was really sure that I wanted to break up with him... but now I realize that I wouldn't be able to find someone like him: he loved me so much, he cared about me that perhaps no one ever would do, he is smart and intelligent.

During our break up situation, I actually hurt him too much, I was flirting with other guys in front of him and I didn't talk to his parents and when his sister invited me over her wedding, I didn't go.

And I told him that we will never be able to be together again.

And now he totally moved on and he is living abroad studying in USA for his law degree. I am also studying abroad. We are far from each other. Now, I am so lonely and I messed up my life for last few months. I just started to stay in the room and no contact with anyone and no socializing. Just think about him and cry all day.. and getting fat. He doesn't exactly know what happening with me, but he has some idea and want me to go back because he think I am in need of mental help.

So that means I have breaken all the rules and he even think I become a looser...

What shall I do? :(

Ishita 3 months ago

I had already done the mistake of showing him how desperate i am to get him back. he now thinks of me as a complete nuisance. but i still want him back. what to do?

trish 3 months ago

I have a story similiar to your friend Donna's. my boyfriend of almost 3 years said the exact same thing, that he wasn't sure if he wanted to be with me, and after 10 days, moved out. We have a son together and that complicates things further. Luckily, I haven't been hysterical and freaking out like I normally would. I know that will only push him further away. It's only been 2 days but it feels like absolute hell. He came back to get his stuff and to talk to me and he said he would still be there for me. I don't know if it was out of being truly genuine or because of our son. I truly love this guy, I know I want to spend the rest of my life with him. and the biological factor is so true. we've had our ups and downs but when it came down to it, we always kissed and made up. I honestly don't know what happened, as far as I'm concerned I didn't do anything. He just needs his space to figure out who he is. I really want to be with him..

rose 3 months ago

my testimony all thank to TEMPLE OF AYELALA i was in love with a girl named Rita i was in deepening in love with her i have treed my best to get her, on still i meant this man named Dr moon expending eventing thing to he, him toed me that my problem is solve but i ask him her is that possible him toed me that i shod not worry again that my problem is over than he cast a spell on her to love me supplier she fowl in love with me so i us very happy she is back to me thank you email to contact him EMAIL:ayelalashrine@gmail.com

Wendy16 2 months ago

Hi Essy!

As you said, everyone thinks their situation is a worse one. Well I cheated on my boyfriend twice. I could explain but I think that there are no excuses. My boyfriend and I dated for 8 years, we have lived toguether for 7. We met when my son was 2 years old. The problem was that after he found out I cheated for the second time instead of him wanting to end things he wanted to work on things. At that time I was being a fool, stupid, and blind. Took him for granted! We decided to give each other some time and just date. A day before our final date and him to move back in he thinks that his mom went through his emails and found out what I did. Apparently she just told him to re consider his decision about moving back in, she didn't mention anything else. Well now, he wants to end things and start seeing other people. I live him with all my heart and want to start a family with him. I cried and really broke down. I can't let him go and let him see other people. He'll never come back to me. I need your help please to show him how much I want to commint and start a family with him. He says he stills loves me and cares deeply for my son. But he can't forgive what I have done. He moved back with his mom. I don't really go out since I need to be home with my son. Please help me to show him my changes, help me to get him back to make each other happy.

Joan 2 months ago

Hello sir,

my name is joan blick,i want to thank dr okoase for helping me recovering my ex.i must say u are indeed a great spell caster.i am the happiest woman on today.

Once again i say a very thanks to dr okoase,please dr okoase keep your good work because people need.world please contact Dr okoase on his email templeofgreatspell@gmail.com

Mass 2 months ago

How long should I give it to try and win him back?

Christelle 2 months ago

Dear Essy,

I read your article and it was really helpful. And I am hoping if you could give me an advice of what I should do because there's this guy and we were so close before like we were the best of friends in the world. Then the time came when we had fallen in love with each other so then we hang out a lot, we text nonstop, we talk for hours and I was so happy that it was the best moments of my life. But then after a few days I started to wonder whether he's being real with me or not and whether I'm doing the right thing or not. He said he would wait for me until I turn 18, that we should be like friends until then. I wouldn't want to get my hopes up because of the fact that anything could happen, but I wish he'd still wait. I realized that while we were in a mutual understanding, we often had conversations like the ones in the drama tv, and I thought it shouldn't have been like that, it should be all happy, love and fun. Sometimes I ask myself what did I do wrong for this to happen? and that I wish I could go back and turn it all around but what am I supposed to do? I've gotten my hopes too high because it was the first time for me to have that kind of a relationship, and I feel so stupid for letting him and my feelings take over me. And, now that I see him with another girl, a friend, which is so awkward for me now every time that I see or walk by them. I don't know what to think anymore, is it right for me to take him back or just let them be although it really hurts me to think that that girl should be me. It's hard but it seems that I can't let him go even though I've told myself that I've moved on but why do I still feel jealous?, why am I still hurting?

Sorry for the trouble but I could really use a good advice right now.Thanks

Jessica 2 months ago

Hey there ! Me and my boyfriend just broke up about a week ago and I've been following all these steps but it seems like he isn't interested in me anymore. I haven't called / texted him at all and I don't know what to do next. We broke up because he has been having family problems, and I respect it, but I was wondering how long it would take to get him back. And I'm afraid that in like two months, he will be into another girl. So can u please tell me what I can do ?

Thanks ! (:

Jenny 2 months ago

My boyfriend broke up with me last week after two years relationship. We both are in high-school. He told me he no longer in love with me like the way he use to and just wanted us to be friends. I accepted his friendship in order to try and get him back i cried and pleaded for him to give me if i have done anything wrong but he refused. The day after he break up with me I told him that i will never give up on this one. So my friend told me about a temple called obolospelltemple@gmail.com this temple helped me to get him back to me and now we are together. All thanks to obolospelltemple@gmail.com i am Jenny

Rashmi 2 months ago

Dear Essy,

My guy has commitment issues, he admits he loves me but hes scared to make a commitment and he wanted to be friends. But I missed him too much and I didnt give him his space. He asked me to leave him alone and I felt really bad. At that moment I let go and now I'm much better. Its been two days and its not that I dont miss him but I know that he wont come back to me if I keep pestering him. I know he will come back to me but how do I stop this from happening again? How do I get a guy to commit? Please help

Chloe 2 months ago

Dear essy,

Stephanie 2 months ago

So... I understand like that your suppost to give them space and then make your life seem like it's going great without them, but what if they blocked you and you messaged them a bunch of time before? do you just give up?

howard 2 months ago

"Dr Magbu I love to be on your testimonial page to spread my happiness. Your hard work and effort is greatly appreciated especially from me. My girl-friend is back home. We are back together. I'm picking her up from the station today. I haven't saw her in 6 years. I wasted so much time with other spell casters and should have stuck with you originally. You are a truly gifted spell caster and I just wanted to take the time to show how you and tell the world how grateful I am"thanks to reunitingexspell@gmail.com ..Howard

Jelly 2 months ago

Ok so I was sorta dating this guy and you could tell we really loved eachother about a month later he told me that he didn't think it will work out because he has to think about other things in his life I told him I would cry and might actually die and told me that it might work out when we're older and not to do anything crazy so we didn't talk for a week till today my friend forced me to talk to him and I didn't know the real reason till now and I begged him again telling him we need eachother and that he should tell me he feels the same way and still loves me and he said he doesn't know right now! This guy is perfect I seriously need him please help!

Neumna 8 weeks ago

Hello. I left my boyfriend of five years 9 months ago, because I thought it wasn't it. But lately, after the analysis of our relationship, I've come to believe that he is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. I still have strong feelings for him.

As far as he is concerned I'm still very attractive to him and he still has some feeling for me, but doesn't feel that we should get back together, at least not right away.

I'm scared he'll be with someone else, yet I believe that we should be together and I believe he feels that too, but is very hurt.

I don't know if I should let him be or try to win him back... Any advice?

Ally 8 weeks ago

my boyfriend was my best friend before our relationship. I want him back, and I don't want to slip into any type of "buddy" stage, ruining all that. but he misses our friendship (we haven't been right for weeks) and I can tell he is really hurting. I don't like to see him like that, but at the same time I don't want to hurt my cause....any advice?

Carol 8 weeks ago

“Hi Dr. Gboco, your spells really helped me! I’ve been doing the same diet than before but with your spell it really worked and I already lost 6lbs in 1 week! I feel like a new woman and my male colleagues start to talk to me again! Even that cute guy at the accountancy I mentioned before! You changed my life and fulfilled all my dreams! Thank you so much. Gbocotemple@yahoo.com Carol, USA

julie 8 weeks ago

I am so sorry for doubting you. I should have know, you possess true powers when you accepted my case. I am now a believer of what you do and that there are powers we normal humans can not understand. All thanks to obolospelltemple@gmail.com for bringing my husband back to me!

Julie

Jennifer 7 weeks ago

My boyfriend and I have been losing contact over summer break (he suddenly stopped answering my calls ans texts for some unknown reason) and the consequences were devastating: when we met again in September we barely talk anymore, he started acting like nothing has ever happened between us and it breaks my heart to see that. But me being shy i just went along with it without asking him why he stopped contacting me, i stopped talking to him, but in reality i miss our chit chats. I just don't know how to initiate a conversation with him anymore like i did before so the silence between us is always awkward. We're now completely strangers again.Fortunately, from time to time i catch him staring and his friends would always bring my name up to tease him (he would just laugh it off and change the topic) so i hope there's still hope for us. He and I are both somewhat "antisocial" and introverted, we both don't talk much. What to do? Thank you in advance.

john 7 weeks ago

Hi My name is "john" just want to share my experience with the world on

how i got my love back and saved my marriage... I was married for

7years with 2kids and we lived happily until things started getting

ugly and we had fights and arguments almost every time... it got worse

at a point that she filed for divorce... I tried my best to make her

change her mind & stay with me cause i loved her with all my heart and

didn't want to loose her but everything just didn't work out... she moved

out of the house and still went ahead to file for divorce... I pleaded and

tried everything

but still nothing worked. The breakthrough came when someone introduced

me to this wonderful, great spell caster who eventually helped me out... I

have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try

reluctantly cause I was desperate and left with no

choice... He did special prayers and used roots and herbs... Within 7

days she called me and was sorry for all the emotional trauma she had

cost me, moved back to the house and we continue to live happily, the

kids are happy too and we are expecting our third child...

I have introduced him to a lot of couples with problems across the

world and they have had good news... Just thought I should share my

experience cause I strongly believe someone out there need's it... You can

email him via ekpensolutionspellcasting@gmail.com Don't give up just yet,

the different between "Ordinary" & "Extra-Ordinary" is the "Extra" so make

extra effort to save your marriage/relationship if it's truly worth it.

Sandy 7 weeks ago

Uda temple, I can’t thank you enough for all that you have done for me. About a year ago I my partner split up, we had both made BIG mistakes in our relationship. He ended up moving away from me to pursue a new life. I knew in my heart that he would be the only one to make me happy. I was relieved when I found your site and what you had to offer. I requested 3 day casting of the reunite us love spell and within two weeks Greg’s company had relocated him back to our hometown where I still lived. We immediately reconnected and move in with each other. Our wedding date is set for Summer 2012. Expect to see your invite in the mail! Get your help from udatemple2011@gmail.com it is the only answer to love problem

mather 7 weeks ago

My name is mather living in UAE,

I came across a powerful spell caster online, whose email is lovesolutionspell@priest.com, this spell caster put an end to my worries and my financial problems, this spell caster brought and reunite me and my husband after an 8months separation from me and my two kids.

You can reach the spell caster also his mobile number +2348093617076.

You can email me on samthattlucas@gmail.com for confirmation.

Thanks.

Mather.

Sarah 6 weeks ago

Hey, I have a very difficult situation right now. After my parents moved out of state I moved in with my boyfriend at his house that he owns. I am 20 and he is 22, I know now that moving in together at such a young age ruined our relationship. We had been living together for 6 months until he ended it. We were fighting all the time over the stupidest things, I was always crying and it wasn;t a good situation to be in becuase we saw eachother every single day for the past 6 months. We were together 24/7 and he never really hungout with his friends and neither did i becuase i complained about not spending enough time together. I regret that now. I know now that we needed our time apart from eachother. I got too wrapped up in him and lost all my friends. I became so dependant on him and when he said we should take a break i was heart broken. I had to move out of our home and find a random girl to live with off of craigslist. it was so hard. when he broke up with me we were broken up and still living together for 3 weeks until i finally found a place to live. during that time we were still sleeping together and cuddling and telling eachother how much we love eachother. it was so hard to finally say goodbye. the day i moved out, (april 1st) he helped me move. it was a very emotional day for the both of us. after i moved into the new house i went back to his to say one last goodbye, we laid in bed together and hugged and kissed and said how much we were going to miss eachother it was so sad. that night i slept by myself for the first time in 6 months it was very very very difficult. that night he texted me around midnight and said "i miss you so much right now, i cant stop crying i miss your warm little body next to mine" and i woke up the next morning so happy that he texted me saying that, i had no idea he would even cry. i have never really seen him cry. he texted me again that morning and said "sorry" i said "what are you sorry for, are you ok?" and he said "yea i am i was just really sad last night and couldnt stop thinking about you, i was fine until i laid down n was all alone. i just wanted to cuddle with you, it ust really sucks because i know we need time apart but now that we are apart i hate it." and it made me smile. cuz it showed that he still cared. it took one night apart for him to break down a little bit. anyways he's been texting me on and off every night and every morning for the past week. one night he texted me saying "i miss having you to talk to, days like today make me realise how supportive and helpful you were to me." n then i said well i hate to break it to you but this was your decision and blah blah blah and he said "yea ik it was my decision and i still feel like we need this but it sucks. i miss you, i want to see you so bad :(" and i said "well give it some time, im still here to support you and comfort you. i didnt go anywhere." and he said "thank you, im here for you too." and then he texted me a picture of my little grass plant i left at the house on accident and said how much it was growing. so i mean obviously he is trying to strike up a little conversation... anyways he just left for myrtle beach on friday (april 6th) i have not spoke to him since friday. i accidently texted him friday when i meant to txt my friend mary and i said "oops sry that txt was meant for mary, sorry to bother you." and he said "its all good, not bothering me at all." and that has been the last contact we had. i know he's in myrtle beach right now for spring break living it up and i am very nervous, i dont know when he is going to text me or is he is even going to text me when he gets back. idk if he is going to hook up with girls or find the love of his life. who knows. he is a very nice guy. he bought me a car for christmas and an iphone, he is very giving and just all around the greatest guy i have ever dated. and i am very sorry i ever stressed him out so much to the point where he needed a break. before i moved out he said that we could still hangout and talk all the time, but i think its best that we dont. so that he has time to really miss me, and miss what we had. so i think we are going in the right direction right now. i am just scared that "what if" what if he doesnt text me, what if he gets a new gf... i know he still loves me and ik that i still love him. but what can i do from here? how can i make sure that i will get him back? i know now that i will never make the same mistake again. i will never put a guy before my friends and i will never let a guy become the center of my universe. Ladies if you are reading this please don't do what i did, be your own woman! please help me? what should i do?

john 6 weeks ago

Hi My name is "john" just want to share my experience with the world on how i got my love back and saved my marriage... I was married for

7years with 2kids and we lived happily until things started getting ugly and we had fights and arguments almost every time... it got worse

at a point that she filed for divorce... I tried my best to make her change her mind & stay with me cause i loved her with all my heart and didn't want to loose her but everything just didn't work out... she moved out of the house and still went ahead to file for divorce... I pleaded and tried everything

but still nothing worked. The breakthrough came when someone introduced me to this wonderful, great spell caster who eventually helped me out... I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try reluctantly cause I was desperate and left with no

choice... He did special prayers and used roots and herbs... Within 7 days she called me and was sorry for all the emotional trauma she had

cost me, moved back to the house and we continue to live happily, the kids are happy too and we are expecting our third child...

I have introduced him to a lot of couples with problems across the world and they have had good news... Just thought I should share my experience cause I strongly believe someone out there need's it... You can email him via ekpensolutionspellcasting@gmail.com Don't give up just yet, the different between "Ordinary" & "Extra-Ordinary" is the "Extra" so make extra effort to save your marriage/relationship if it's truly worth it.

deniel 6 weeks ago

I have had insomnia for 39 years. I have been to 7 sleep clinics.

The last clinic reluctantly admitted that my problems were chemical and had no answers for me. With no solutions and out of desperation I decided to try your spell. With none of my friends knowing the powers of India spell, I went to the internet and began a lengthy search. High Priest AGBON I decided to give your spells a try. Having fixed my sleep problems 7 days after casting my spell, I decided this might work with other problems. With the sex spell you elevated my self esteem both in bed and attracting woman.

I cannot say enough good things about how helpful you have been for me. You has actually changed my life in a relatively short time. thank you once again i will advice anyone in need of help to contact him on. indiapowerfulspell@gmail.com

Mia 6 weeks ago

Hi... So staying strong would you suggest not sleeping with them? It has made me more confused and wanting him more but he is calling the shots I suppose an already talking to other girls :(...

Cheryl Quinn 6 weeks ago

I am very relieved that my ex and I are talking again

I don’t know if we will get back together again but I am very relieved that my ex and I are talking again after almost a month of a long bitter silence. All thanks to oviaspiritualspelltemple@gmail.com

Cheryl Quinn

Makayla Cremeans 6 weeks ago

Hi. I broke up with my exboyfriend about 5 days ago and it was because he was mad at me and I really miss him and don't know what to do. If I invite him over to talk about it do you think it would ruin any chances together?

lilly 6 weeks ago

i had a break up wid my ex.. he was the perfect one 4 me .. our relation went for only a very few months

bt we wer damn serious.. we even shared the bed like hell lot of times ... i juz love him soo much and cant 4get him

coz he is my very first love .. i knw even he was serious with me bt we had religion problem

he was quite sure that he will marry me bt later on wen he talked wid his aunt he came u knw dat they would

never allow him for that .. so he din wana piss off his family and get kicked out of the house ...

bt still we wer together after that coz we could neva brk up .... bt later on wen his frnd came up in betwwen he got

influenced like anythng frm him ... he even told my ex if u call her or go 2 meet her up i will finish off the frndship

and my ex really finds him as his own brother and dun wana make him pissed off .... there might b reasons for the

brk up i knw dat bt it should nt hav been after making out with me .. i need him back at any cost...

itz being a month since i talked 2 him ... in between i called him up bt his frnd attended the call

and i got pissed off and tried 2 suicide ... after hearing this he thought my frnds wer juz fooling him !

itz all coz of his frnd .. i dun care of anythng bt i need him back... itz all that he dun wana hurt his parents and frnd... bt i knw he still love me .. may b im not sure.. i finished my studies and im going 2 a differnet county in 1 month.. in between i hav 2 do smethng .. we neva met in this one month or neva called up ...

Jordyn 6 weeks ago

Hey Essy this is kind of embarrassing for me to say but im going to say it anyways... me and my bf broke up yesterday and i broke all of the rules i called him and i realized the tone of his voice was saying were going to be just friends i then thought how awkward it will be to chill with him like i can be just friends with someone i still love from the bottom of my heart. i tried to keep away but then texted him this morning and tried to get his pity i then realized it was a big mistake after he told me his mom hated me and thats why he doesnt want to go back out with me there is some other reasons i broke promises and was mean to him sometimes but that was when i was upset or pmsing... the reason why we broke up in the first place was because he wanted to go to prom with another girl because he couldnt buy my ticket even though i could afford my own ticket but he insisted that he buys my ticket because of what his mom told him he came up with every excuse not to take me to prom so i said if you take another girl to prom then were done then he said fine then i guess were done bye then hung up. it took me a little while to realize what happened then i just burst into tears. even though we only went out for 3 months its still hurting me inside and i need your help. my email is thieringer.jordyn@yahoo.com i would appreciate it if you could help me.

Hatekay 5 weeks ago

Hey so my boyfriend and I just broke up over the weekend. We have been fighting on and off but I think it's because we are taking the bad things in our lives and taking it out on each other. Now he says he's done with being stressed and he's done with me. I am MADLY in love with him and I can't see this love go to waste. I definately did the WRONG thing in the beginning by begging him back, constantly calling and texting him and probably was only pushing him away further. Another thing about my boyfriend is that he works up north so it's even harder when he is gone because I totally MISS him even more. We get into little fights when he's gone as well as when he's back. I think I just get upset about the little things and he is getting very tired of it. Do you think there is a chance with us. We have broken up before and he told me that he lost hope at our last break up. :( I just can't handle this and I am trying to keep positive I just really miss and love him to death! PLEASE HELP ME!!!

needhelppronto 5 weeks ago

Hi, I've never really done this before.. but recently my boyfriend and I split up having had a 6 month relationship. I broke up with him, which i deeply regret already, its a bit of a long story... i have to start with the fact that i go away a lot due to family circumstances so I'm always going and coming. when i was away last week at a party a girl drunkenly kissed him and he couldn't remember, it ended up in a bit of a fight but i forgave him so i did not break up with him for that reason. However when we were talking i mentioned about my exams and that i was going away for a month in summer so maybe it was better we called it a day in the end. However this has been the worse decision of my life because we are in love and we still love each other greatly, he is like my best friend and one of the only people i trust, and i cannot keep him out of my head. I explained to him that we made a mistake in splitting up but he has always pushed me to stay with my decision because he reckons we shouldn't try and continue until our inevitable split because it will end badly (we both go to different universities next year) although i sent him a text later on saying that he needed to tell me it was over so i could gain closure and he read it and never replied. We then decided to be friends with him and we've been talking since our break up like normal... but i don't want friendship, i want him and i don't want to let him go that easily! please tell me what to do, i am absolutely hopeless and i need to sort it soon.

katriss208 5 weeks ago

hi i dumped my ex coz i thought he was 2 timing and it turns out he wasnt and my friend said he still likes me but i still like him to but i dont no how to tell him please help!!!!!!!!!! and we both have our own bands and well it's complecated...

Lizie Heinrich 5 weeks ago

Hi Essy, i hope you're still answering comments

My boyfriend broke up with me obviously or i wouldnt be here. usually i know exactly what to do and how to do it. which works well for me but this time im so in love with him i just had no idea what to do i was soo surprised i broke every rule because at first he said he wanted to get back together after school gets out. he just recently contacted me saying he's not sure if he wants to get back into a relationship with me. because he doesnt feel the same anymore he said he loves me but he just doesnt know how much im desperate to get him back i miss him so much i've never loved anyone or anything more i cant afford to buy any of the how to get my ex back plans i really want him back. please im in need of some serious help

nicole 5 weeks ago

Hi me and my ex have been broken up for 3 years and ive been with him off and on for 4 years ive known him for nine years. i took his virginity about 8 years ago. he had broke up with me because i kept going back to my first love after the year 2009 he said fuck it. but i think he tried to have revenge by using me for sex and i couldnt take he so we had stop talking for a while and we would go back doing the same things again. he recently told me he just wanted to be friends with benefits he says he likes having sex with me and he cant be my friend if im not having sex wit him (i guess my pussy is that good) and i agreed to that but i love him ive always loved him so how can i get my man back i know sex is one way and i think taking salsa lessons would be great (once i get my body right) he is the shy type he usually doesnt make the 1st move 1st and neither do i because im shy also. we just had sex last night and it was ok but i didnt put it on him like i should of. what should i do because i love him so much and he treated me so well when me and him were together he was like my bestfriend but that kinda faded.

thanks in advance for replying :)

Anita 5 weeks ago

I just had to write to tell you, you just cast the spell Making Up for me last night and he just called me. The very next day! I can hardly believe it! I had no idea your spells could work that fast! How can I ever thank you enough email to contact my helper is wiseindividualspell@gmail.com???

Prophet Galadima 5 weeks ago

I AM Prophet Galadima, i am well TRAINED in (KALAKUTA SPELLS), I HAVE BEEN IN TO SPELL CASTING FOR 25 YEARS NOW, AND I WANT AND WILL ALWAYS MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY. I am into spells like, love spell, money spell, lottery spell, get your money back, and health issues generally... If you will like to cast your spells with me you can send you detailed email to kalakutaspells@gmail.com

Logaan 5 weeks ago

Just a couple daays ago, me and my boyfriend broke up. He said he dosnt have the same feelings as he did before, and we been going out for just over a month and I just met him just over a month to. But now Im dating this other guy and I dont want to be dating him. I want to be back with my ex soooo bad!Can you please just give me some advice on how to get him back. Thaanks soo much :)

lizzy 4 weeks ago

My Name is Ms. lizzy I was married to my husband for 13 years and we were both bless with three children, living together as one love, until 2010 when things was no longer the way the was [when he lost his job]. But when he later gets a new job 6 months after, he stated sleeping outside our matrimonial home. Only for me to find out that he was having an affair with the lady that gave he the job. since that day, when I called him, he don't longer pick up my calls and he don’t want to see me around him and he also deleted me from his face book account.

I reported him to TOM SPRINGER ON NATIONAL TV [MESSYLY AFFAIRS], I did many things all just to see if I can just get my husband but nothing since to come out good. Yet my husbands just still keep on seeing the lady.

Until I met a very good friend of my who was also having a similar problem, who introduced me to a very good love spell caster. But I told her that if it has to do with things that I am not interested, but she said that it has nothing to do with pay first. But the only thing he was ask to do was just to go and buy the items to cast the spell, and that was what she did. And she gave me the spell caster e-mail address and phone number.

When I contacted him, I was so surprise when he said that if I have the faith that I will get my husband back in the nest three [3] day, and off which it was really so. But I was so shock that I did not pay any thing to ogun but my husband was on his knells begging me and the children for forgiveness. This testimony is just the price I have to pay. This man bako is good and he is the author of my happiness. His e-mail address bakotemple@gmail.com

katy 4 weeks ago

hey ive been with my ex 6 year n we lived togther i asked him to leave after i found out he wasnt paying the bills when i have been givin him the rent ive had trust issues with him from a year ago when he broke my heart and i gave him a 3rd chance. wel he wanted to come home and at first i was making him suffer but then when i told him a want you to come back home he turned it round and said he wasnt sure what he wants wel i begged and said evrything i could and he told me he needs to think so ive been suffering and putting myself threw hell i carnt eat sleep even been thinking stupid thoughs he is my first love, a couple weeks later he started txting me n giving me the impreshion he was coming home n when he come to see me he turned wround and said a dont want to get back togther and dont want to string you along n then as he was leaving said he dosent know what he whants agen well ive begged, i just dont know what to do. he is living at his mates and i am living on my own. please help xx

Tamanna 4 weeks ago

Dear Mama,

Some days ago I noticed that my boyfriend is ignoring me. I asked him about it. He told me that it is not working. So we should break up. I cried a lot. But he misbehaved with me. So we broke up. But I miss him a lot, I truely love him. Can you please give me some advise how can I get him back? Please.

johnny 4 weeks ago

My best girlfriend had this same problem too, she was very impatient!

She tried tried and tried to get her ex back but she just couldn't do it.

I felt so bad for her. I mean, how could I help her to get her hex back?

So I took it upon myself and started digging.

I FINALLY found something that looked interesting. It's a product called "Text your ex back"

Long story short....my girlfriend actually ended up purchasing this product and lets just say this...

She has been successfully got her ex back overnight. Amazing right?

She loved this book.

In fact she loved it so much he wrote a review about on her blog which later spread all over the internet!

Anyway here is his review on "Text Your EX Back" www.reviewsphere.com/textyourexback

Hope this helps you too, just like it helped her.

lucina 4 weeks ago

hello i just got my lover back by this spell caster on the below address and i am now been filled with happiness i met him on illumunantspelltemple@gmail.com, The very point i saw his email, i was with a little or no faith be he encouraged me and told me that i have no need to worry, he said in three days i would have my lover back as suppose. At the actual day, it almost 9pm my lover jamie came knocking on my door cry and pleading for my forgiveness,

I was shocked thniking is a dream but when i open my heart was filled with tension and i have miss him so much i could wait for an extra minute before i hold him and accepted him.

I have never seen a thing like this but right now am too happy to be in love.

you can reach this spell caster fro the same help.

the email is illumunantspelltemple@gmail.com

I am from brazil and lucina is my name.

thanks.

Doris 4 weeks ago

I and kelvin has been together for 8 years. We both put our capital together to open a supermarket and since then we have been living happily without any problem. I always discuss about marriage with John but he replies me with, we will soon get married. I was surprise on Friday evening when i was in my brother's house, John called me on phone and told me that we can no longer carry on with the relationship because he has find himself a rich a lady whom he want to get married to. I shocked and hospitalize for 4 days. I was so tired and tried to take my life because i truly love him. All the investment was opened in his name and signature and i am left with nothing. One Sunday evening when i was searching online for help, i was directed to ayelalashrine@gmail.com. I contacted him and he told me what i need to provide for he to bring back my happiness

Ta 3 weeks ago

Hey Luciana, is it true? Please inform me asap. I'm waiting for your reply.

isaballe 3 weeks ago

"My husband was having an affair with someone from his workplace. I was so upset, I didn't know where to turn. till i saw your email on the internet Your Love Spell gave me the strength to confront him, and I won him back! The girl got fired, and now we are happy than we have ever been.thank to you Dr. Gboco gbocotemple@yahoo.com Isabella

Olivia 3 weeks ago

"I fell in love with Carl when we were sixteen, but after HighSchool we lost touch. After all this time, I couldn't get him off my mind. Then I tried your online Love Spell. Believe it or not, the very next day I ran into him at the mall! We have a date tonight, and right after this I'm going to cast another spell for Good Luck." thanks to Dr. Gboco. email: gbocotemple@yahoo.com

johnson 3 weeks ago

wiseindividualspell@gmail.com is the real deal. he is there for guidance and advice. I felt the tingle of all the spells cast and know that I will be back in my love's arms. I became a believer with the first response I received from Dr.Zack Balo. People need to become proactive in their situation by asking for him help.

kayla belden 3 weeks ago

wow really good advice. i will try it. question though should you still attempt to get him back if has already gotten a new girlfriend? two days after we broke up he started to date some other girl. so does this mean i should give up and really move on. i dont want to....but i need to know if i have to. sooo please write back

Briana 3 weeks ago

Hello my name is Briana and my ex broke up with me in November. I started college 2 hours away from him in september and i thought things were alright. But i guess not. We bgan to argue a whole lot and it got a little overwhelming for him so he dumped me. Throughout this time being apart i was crying and calling him. We would see eachother when i came home for breaks and have fun. The only thing is that last week he told me that he doesnt want to be with me and start over becuz he thinks we dont get along. Now we both were going through something at the time we were arguing and i feel that we should be able to work it out but he is scared that if we get back together all we will do is argue. I love him with all my heart and i want him back. I have just talked to him and asked him did he want to meet me to go out to eat. He said yes but i dont want to rush into that so i told him i will let him know when.... What should i do?

caroline 3 weeks ago

Hello,

I have been a victim in Ancientijebudespelltemple. I met this man Dr Ijebu by his name, he has been a precious man to me he has help me in many ways he helped me in casting many spells. I broke up with my ex boyfriend but now i want him back i have tried all means to get him but all was in veil. A friend introduce this online spell caster to me who helped me to get my ex back without no stress. If you are in this kind of condition, i will advice you to give it a try and you will be a happy person like me.Contact:

Ancientijebudespelltemple@gmail.com

best 3 weeks ago

This is a very special power prepared from mystique powers and prayers on the holy mountains. This special power will attract the opposite sex and who ever he or she will want or wish will come as soon as this power is acquired. With this power your beloved will come back to you and any girl or boy you want or wish will be forced to come to you.Email me at:ehisalextemple@gmail.com or call 08078139254

THE COST OF THIS POWER IS US$ 50

roliz 3 weeks ago

hey, i have got so much help from what i have read, my only big problem is..i have broken all the rules. everything has gone wrong, and we have been apart for 5months and some weeks now, but we had been together for 2and a half years. he is in another relationship and me too, but i just wanted him to see that i can move on..

how can i start correcting these mistakes again?

Fukton 3 weeks ago

Hi,

I've been going through these websites see if there's hope for me getting my exboyfriend back. This was the most helpful one, thanks

My boyfriend broke up with me because, "we act more like friends and I never see you that often any more"

I tried to explain to him that I tried everything to keep contact. He was the one who didn't have a phone, he wouldn't really have time for me and I would have to be the one to ask if we could hang out when we were together. But some times he didn't answer so I would just ignore it. Find things to do that could get my mind off of him for a moment and when I did I guess it was a mistake cause he dumped me. well I went kinda bazzark cause I decided to do the things that I put off so I could be free when ever he finally asks me to hang out, like getting a full time job and a new apartment. I was just kinda mad that I wasted all this time thinking that he would have time for me. We are still friends I guess. He text me the other day but its been just a week since our break up. I didn't sound the same, he asked if we could get chinese but I asked if he just wanted me to bring it to him and then leave. I sound different but I just don't want to sound desperate like I did the first day of our break up. I didn't actually put "I want you back" I put we could still be friends and I rather you be in my life then not at all.

So is there really hope? I know he's my first boyfriend but when we were together we never fought or disagree with each other. our break up was our first fight.

ha he broke up with me like about two weeks till our one year aniversery. maybe ill go dancing like in a club (don't worry im not 21 so I wouldn't be going to drink or anything) but to dance and not care anymore. ha and maybe I can find a man who will make time for me. but I wouldn't count on it. I got my first bf at age 18..... and i'm average person.

ha so Im going to try the not taking for a while and get hobbies. thank you for the video and If we get back together yaa but if not then I hope we can be friends.

krutuja desai 3 weeks ago

i love a boy from std 4th his name was shalin i proposed him in std 8th we were in relationship for 1 month n after that we broked up.after 1 month from our break up i just want him again.

Hayden Burl 2 weeks ago

Really impressed with the amount of good content on your website.

Thank you for sharing. I have been researching this topic myself and have put together some reviews on the top experts out there today and what they say.

For more info go to... http://www.freeromancemagic.com

mike 2 weeks ago

My girlfriend has abandon me for the past year now, and refuse to come back because she was hold on by another guy whom she just met, for that, my self has been suffering and it has been heel of a struggle, but i decide to do all means to make sure that my relationship come together as it use to be before, then i went online there i saw so many good talk about this spell caster whose email address is ancientijebudespelltemple@gmail.com, so i had to contact him and in just 5days as he has promised me, my girlfriend came back to me and her behavior was back to the girl i knew before.I cant thank the spell caster enough, i am so grateful.I even spoke to the spell caster over the phone, to confirm his existence.His email again is ancientijebudespelltemple@gmail.com

mike 2 weeks ago

My girlfriend has abandon me for the past year now, and refuse to come back because she was hold on by another guy whom she just met, for that, my self has been suffering and it has been heel of a struggle, but i decide to do all means to make sure that my relationship come together as it use to be before, then i went online there i saw so many good talk about this spell caster whose email address is ancientijebudespelltemple@gmail.com, so i had to contact him and in just 5days as he has promised me, my girlfriend came back to me and her behavior was back to the girl i knew before.I cant thank the spell caster enough, i am so grateful.I even spoke to the spell caster over the phone, to confirm his existence.His email again is ancientijebudespelltemple@gmail.com

Hayden Burl 2 weeks ago

Really impressed with the amount of good content on your website. Thank you for sharing. I have been researching this topic myself and have put together some reviews on the top experts out there today and what they say works.

For more info go to... http://www.freeromancemagic.com

jenny 2 weeks ago

My boyfriend broke up with me last week after two years relationship. We both are in high-school. He told me he no longer in love with me like the way he use to and just wanted us to be friends. I accepted his friendship in order to try and get him back i cried and pleaded for him to give me if i have done anything wrong but he refused. The day after he break up with me I told him that i will never give up on this one. So my friend told me about a temple called obolospelltemple@gmail.com this temple helped me to get him back to me and now we are together. All thanks to obolospelltemple@gmail.com i am Jenny

Daina 2 weeks ago

Hey Essy,

I liked your article. Actually i broke up with my guy 1 month ago because my parents found that we were in a relationship, but i really can't live without him. I have not broke any of the rules as my mom restricted to use mobiles and going out so i will try my best ...

Wish me luck ...

sonia 2 weeks ago

Its so amazing love can be and what you get

when you dont expect. I cant share my story here.

but i am here to confess abot how i love my man and

how he loves me so much than before he walked

away from me and didnt want to do anything with

me.I wanted him so much and couldnt do with out

him. I had to get him back to my life by all means. A friend directed me to Dr. OGBODU KABAKA who now help me to bring him back, I really appreciate the good work he have done for me, he is a good spell caster. I am the most happiet woman on eart now.. i am so

happy. If you need his help you can contact him on ekpensolutionspellcasting@gmail.com As I am happy I also want you out there to be happy.

salim 2 weeks ago

hello everyone,

My name is salim am from UAE but i base in Ireland. i really want to share a testimony on how a spell caster saved my family and reunite us back as we were.

My husband and i have been married for the past 4yrs now and we have a baby boy as our first child. things were going smoothly untill 2months ago my husband left the house just because he said he lose his job and he will not be able to fund the family any more.

This was so outragious, that i have to do something about. i searched heavens and earth but there was absolute nothing i could do to bring him home, because he went far to another city and started staying with his friend.

So i was going online then i met some many comment about a spell caster with this email address, "vudoospell@gmail.com" on how he reunite broken home, and so many things.

I was forced to contacted him and tell him my issues. (this was just 2weeks go).

The spell caster guaranteed me that he is going to cast a spell and my husband will have his former job back and get a promotion, and also he will tighten our love to make us more united.

At first i was affraid, but i had to give him the go ahead and in just 1week after the spell cast, things started happening.

My husband came home with a letter from his company that he has been paid for damages, and he has been promoted to resume office with an immediate effect.

can any one imagine that!!!!

this spell caster made my family a success and i can never forget him.

his email is vudoospell@gmail.com,

salim.

kay 2 weeks ago

Kay

me and my ex are now back together again thanks to you thank you for all your help I really appreciate it you have been a lot of help thank you so much me and him would have never gotten back 2 gather if it was not for your helpful love spell thanks again. sincerely.i will always spread your great work. if you are in need of this man you can contact him, is a good spell caster at reunitingexspell@gmail.com

sonia 2 weeks ago

Its so amazing love can be and what you get

when you dont expect. I cant share my story here.

but i am here to confess abot how i love my man and

how he loves me so much than before he walked

away from me and didnt want to do anything with

me.I wanted him so much and couldnt do with out

him. I had to get him back to my life by all means. A friend directed me to Dr. OGBODU KABAKA who now help me to bring him back, I really appreciate the good work he have done for me, he is a good spell caster. I am the most happiet woman on eart now.. i am so

happy. If you need his help you can contact him on ekpensolutionspellcasting@gmail.com As I am happy I also want you out there to be happy.

sonia 2 weeks ago

Its so amazing love can be and what you get

when you dont expect. I cant share my story here.

but i am here to confess abot how i love my man and

how he loves me so much than before he walked

away from me and didnt want to do anything with

me.I wanted him so much and couldnt do with out

him. I had to get him back to my life by all means. A friend directed me to Dr. OGBODU KABAKA who now help me to bring him back, I really appreciate the good work he have done for me, he is a good spell caster. I am the most happiet woman on eart now.. i am so

happy. If you need his help you can contact him on ekpensolutionspellcasting@gmail.com As I am happy I also want you out there to be happy.

Lisa 13 days ago

HI I read about your article. I hope this will work-out for me. I'm in so much pain now. It's been 3 days seen we broke up. :(

jenn 12 days ago

So I"m just a freshman in high school... but on Tuesday my first boyfriend ever broke up with me(first guy i've ever felt so strongly about) and it was our 2 month anniversary that day. He said he "doesn't love me anymore".He said he was in love with me soooo many times when we were dating, and he felt what i felt(feel) and I still really love him and I just don't understand what happened....please please help me get him back I need and love him so much.

mercy 11 days ago

i was lost when my lover left me tw weeks ago, i was despirate in need of help, so a friend of my in linked me to a spell caster priestoflovespell@yahoo.com, he casted a spell for me and after 3 days my lover returned back, i cant still believe it.

Scarlett 11 days ago

Hey!

I was wondering if you can help me with a crisis!

I kinda had a relationship with a guy and he said he liked me. He also said that we are kinda dating buit it's not confirmed.

I asked my friends to ask him if he still liked me cause it didn't seem like he cared for me anymore so they came back to me saying that he'll text me.

I received the text later that night and he said: "I don't hate you or anything but I just don't like you anymore" I was so depressed about this. I really really like him! What do I do about this?

Please help me! Thank you!

dia 9 days ago

hey..i just saw the video and it really helps, i was dating this guy for the last 3 n a half yrs and things seemed awsome..we have had an excellent relationship but then suddenly one day 3 weeks back he says he wants to dump me cz hes bored..i cried that moment n he insulted me but then i made up my mind that i wont give a shit...iv been acting alll happy, not called him, he knows im happy n have guys hitting on me but he hasnt called me at all..yesterday i met him n told him hw much i hate him n don want him back n hw happy i am...but i guess my love did show at some points...i msgd him after i left saying "we could have had such an awsome time cz we were so perfect but u fucked it" , he dint reply...i kno hes my soulmate n the stuff iv done cant be done by any1 else....somewhere im stuck...i don wana run after him but i really want him back...plesssseeee advice...thanks

paul 9 days ago

My name Paul i have a testimony to share i broke up with my girlfriend for the past 3 months and i was going in insane thinking of her until a friend of mine recommend me to earlierthebetterspelltemple@gmail.com the temple cast a few spells and the temple told me that she will call me after 3 days i was waiting till the tired day supricely she call me and ask if we can still be together and now we are happily married with 2 kids iam so happy that i decided to share what have happen to me i thank god for using earlierthebetterspelltemple@gmail.com to save my relationship

harry 9 days ago

my name is harry i am here to testify about the good work Dr agban has done for me, i started a relationship with my ex girl two years ago last week she called and tell me that she is no longer interested with the relationship and my heart was broken i told a friend who now directed me to this spell caster, i really appreciate the work this spell caster has done for me, i now have a happy relationship with my ex.if you want his help you can contact him on agbantempleoffulfilmentspell@gmail.com you will not regret it.

caroline 9 days ago

I have been in bondage ever since my ex leave for another woman, It was really hell for me and everybody told me to forget about him but i could not because i love him so much, Things get worse until my friend Gina introduced me to this great spell caster Dr. kuma and i contacted him through his email (ultimatespelltemple@gmail.com) i explain everything to him and he cast a spell for me immediately after three days, everything turn around and Paul come to me on his knee begging for forgiveness that i am the one and only woman in his life now. i was surprise i have never seen such a miracle in my life. I am so thankful to this man and i will forever publish his name ultimatespelltemple@gmail.com

hanna 9 days ago

I have been in bondage ever since my ex leave for another woman, It was really hell for me and everybody told me to forget about him but i could not because i love him so much, Things get worse until my friend Gina introduced me to this great spell caster Dr. kuma and i contacted him through his email (ultimatespelltemple@gmail.com) i explain everything to him and he cast a spell for me immediately after three days, everything turn around and Paul come to me on his knee begging for forgiveness that i am the one and only woman in his life now. i was surprise i have never seen such a miracle in my life. I am so thankful to this man and i will forever publish his name ultimatespelltemple@gmail.com

geno 8 days ago

Thank agbalaxy@gmail.com for saving my life and relationship! Had I not use agbalaxy@gmail.com spell, I'd have been seriously lost. ----Geno

Rachel 8 days ago

Oh dear! What do I do when I've begged and cried and harassed and tried to kiss him (majorly screwed up) do I just say I was in shock but I think I've realised im okay with it? Coz then that's like saying I'm not interested and he doesn't like rejection so wouldn't he just leave it? Ahhh help :'( I said if he decides he wants me before i move out I'll stay coz he's my soulmate (he is confused about his feelings and doesn't know) I did first of all act with dignity and speak calmly to him and he asked about his chances with me if he has fucked up, now that I care again he doesn't want me, I'm so pathetic !

Rachelm1992 8 days ago

Oh dear! What do I do when I've begged and cried and harassed and tried to kiss him (majorly screwed up) do I just say I was in shock but I think I've realised im okay with it? Coz then that's like saying I'm not interested and he doesn't like rejection so wouldn't he just leave it? Ahhh help :'( I said if he decides he wants me before i move out I'll stay coz he's my soulmate (he is confused about his feelings and doesn't know) I did first of all act with dignity and speak calmly to him and he asked about his chances with me if he has fucked up, now that I care again he doesn't want me, I'm so pathetic ! This kinda needs to work in the next few days before I move back to Scotland though, I need to make him realise we're right

jeremy 7 days ago

My Name is JEREMY.I will love to share my testimony to all the people in the forum cos i never thought i will have my girlfriend back and she means so much to me..The girl i want to get marry to left me 4 weeks to our weeding for another man..,When i called her she never picked my calls,She deleted me on her facebook and she changed her facebook status from married to Single...when i went to her to her place of work she told her boss she never want to see me..i lost my job as a result of this cos i cant get myself anymore,my life was upside down and everything did not go smooth with my life...I tried all i could do to have her back to all did not work out until i met a Man when i Travel to Africa to execute some business have been developing some years back..I told him my problem and all have passed through in getting her back and how i lost my job...he told me he gonna help me...i don't believe that in the first place.but he swore he will help me out and he told me the reason why my girlfriend left me and also told me some hidden secrets.i was amazed when i heard that from him..he said he will cast a spell for me and i will see the results in the next couple of days..then i travel back to US the following day and i called him when i got home and he said he's busy casting those spells and he has bought all the materials needed for the spells,he said am gonna see positive results in the next 2 days that is Thursday...My girlfriend called me at exactly 12:35pm on Thursday and apologies for all she had done ..she said,she never knew what she's doing and her sudden behavior was not intentional and she promised not to do that again.it was like am dreaming when i heard that from her and when we ended the call,i called the man and told him my wife called and he said i haven't seen anything yet... he said i will also get my job back in 3 days time..and when its Sunday,they called me at my place of work that i should resume working on Monday and they gonna compensate me for the time limit have spent at home without working..My life is back into shape,i have my girlfriend back and we are happily married now with kids and i have my job back too.This man is really powerful..if we have up to 20 people like him in the world,the world would have been a better place..he has also helped many of my friends to solve many problems and they are all happy now..Am posting this to the forum for anybody that is interested in meeting the man for help.you can mail him to GREATORACLETEMPLESOLUTION@LIVE.COM i cant give out his number cos he told me he don't want to be disturbed by many people across the world..he said his email is okay and he' will replied to any emails asap..hope he helped u out too..good luck greatoracletemplesolution@live.com

Angelica Salvai 7 days ago

PLEASE HELP ME ESSY! Ok so I've been with my boyfriend for one year and nine months and he is my life. He means so much to me because he's the first guy to ever treat me so nice and make me feel so wonderful. He was the first to respect me and make me feel wanted. I love him so much and I know that he loves me too by the way he touches me and hugs me. He broke up with me on thursday because of the way I was acting. I had started becoming this needy, obsessive, possesive person who was always pushing him around and stuff. I know that's not who I am. We've both done a lot of things that hurt one another but in the end, we got over them because we love each other so much. I crossed the line and I think I really screwed up. I realized too late that my behavior is the cause of all our problems. I have realized this and will never go back to the way I was. I really want him to know that I have changed and I really want him back. I love him so much and when we are together it's the best. Please help me, I don't know what to do!

DEBORAH WALLACE 6 days ago

MY NAME IS DEBORAH WALLACE FROM HOUSTON,TEXAS.I NEVER BELIEVED IN LOVE SPELLS OR MAGIC UNTIL I MET THIS SPELL CASTER ONCE WHEN I WENT TO AFRICA IN DECEMBER LAST YEAR ON A BUSINESS SUMMIT. HE IS REALLY POWERFUL AND COULD HELP CAST SPELLS TO BRING BACK ONE'S GONE,LOST,MISBEHAVING LOVER LOOKING FOR SOME ONE TO LOVE YOU, BRING BACK LOST MONEY AND MAGIC MONEY SPELL OR SPELL FOR A GOOD JOB.I'M NOW HAPPY & A LIVING TESTIMONY COS THE MAN I HAD WANTED TO MARRY LEFT ME 2 WEEKS BEFORE OUR WEDDING AND MY LIFE WAS UPSIDE DOWN COS OUR RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN ON FOR 2YEARS... I REALLY LOVED HIM, BUT HIS MOTHER WAS AGAINST US AND HE HAD NO GOOD PAYING JOB. SO WHEN I MET THIS SPELL CASTER, I TOLD HIM WHAT HAPPENED AND EXPLAINED THE SITUATION OF THINGS TO HIM..AT FIRST I WAS UNDECIDED,SKEPTICAL AND DOUBTFUL, BUT I JUST GAVE IT A TRY. AND IN 7 DAYS WHEN I RETURNED TO TEXAS, MY BOYFRIEND (NOW HUSBAND) CALLED ME BY HIMSELF AND CAME TO ME APOLOGIZING THAT EVERYTHING HAD BEEN SETTLED WITH HIS MOM AND FAMILY AND HE GOT A NEW JOB INTERVIEW SO WE SHOULD GET MARRIED..I DIDN'T BELIEVE IT COS THE SPELL CASTER ONLY ASKED FOR MY NAME AND MY BOYFRIENDS NAME AND ALL I WANTED HIM TO DO... WELL WE ARE HAPPILY MARRIED NOW AND WE ARE EXPECTING OUR LITTLE KID,AND MY HUSBAND ALSO GOT THE NEW JOB AND OUR LIVES BECAME MUCH BETTER. IN CASE ANYONE NEEDS THE SPELL CASTER FOR SOME HELP, HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS ododomadosolutions@tera.net.sa ......HOPE HE HELPS YOU OUT.

DEBORAH WALLACE 6 days ago

MY NAME IS DEBORAH WALLACE FROM HOUSTON,TEXAS.I NEVER BELIEVED IN LOVE SPELLS OR MAGIC UNTIL I MET THIS SPELL CASTER ONCE WHEN I WENT TO AFRICA IN DECEMBER LAST YEAR ON A BUSINESS SUMMIT. HE IS REALLY POWERFUL AND COULD HELP CAST SPELLS TO BRING BACK ONE'S GONE,LOST,MISBEHAVING LOVER LOOKING FOR SOME ONE TO LOVE YOU, BRING BACK LOST MONEY AND MAGIC MONEY SPELL OR SPELL FOR A GOOD JOB.I'M NOW HAPPY & A LIVING TESTIMONY COS THE MAN I HAD WANTED TO MARRY LEFT ME 2 WEEKS BEFORE OUR WEDDING AND MY LIFE WAS UPSIDE DOWN COS OUR RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN ON FOR 2YEARS... I REALLY LOVED HIM, BUT HIS MOTHER WAS AGAINST US AND HE HAD NO GOOD PAYING JOB. SO WHEN I MET THIS SPELL CASTER, I TOLD HIM WHAT HAPPENED AND EXPLAINED THE SITUATION OF THINGS TO HIM..AT FIRST I WAS UNDECIDED,SKEPTICAL AND DOUBTFUL, BUT I JUST GAVE IT A TRY. AND IN 7 DAYS WHEN I RETURNED TO TEXAS, MY BOYFRIEND (NOW HUSBAND) CALLED ME BY HIMSELF AND CAME TO ME APOLOGIZING THAT EVERYTHING HAD BEEN SETTLED WITH HIS MOM AND FAMILY AND HE GOT A NEW JOB INTERVIEW SO WE SHOULD GET MARRIED..I DIDN'T BELIEVE IT COS THE SPELL CASTER ONLY ASKED FOR MY NAME AND MY BOYFRIENDS NAME AND ALL I WANTED HIM TO DO... WELL WE ARE HAPPILY MARRIED NOW AND WE ARE EXPECTING OUR LITTLE KID,AND MY HUSBAND ALSO GOT THE NEW JOB AND OUR LIVES BECAME MUCH BETTER. IN CASE ANYONE NEEDS THE SPELL CASTER FOR SOME HELP, HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS ododomadosolutions@tera.net.sa ......HOPE HE HELPS YOU OUT.

Golemb 4 days ago

Hi! I was dating this guy for a few months when one of my closest friends convinced me that our relationship was falling apart and for some stupid reason i believed her and broke up with him. The next day I over herd her telling someone she convinced both of us to break up with one another. Now she is all over him even though she is dating one of his closest friends. I feel like such a fool for listening to her and I really want him back. Please Help! thank you!

huzlyn 4 days ago

Gaigs has been the love of my life since high school. I am currently 30, so you can see that's the last 12 years we were together. About 2 years ago I noticed a change in her. Real settle differences at first, but then it became more apparent as time went on. I noticed things like her withdrawing emotionally from me and the children, then lack of sexual intimacy, and more recently a withdraw from our family. We have a 3 year old daughter and a 2 year old son that are absolute angels as far as kids are concerned. They did not deserve their mother treating them this way, nor did they deserve the emotional abuse that they suffered because of this. I was so glad that I found Dr. Messiah the freemercytemple@yahoo.com i cast a spell to make her love us more and always look us as 1 family because of my children and myself. She was the greatest person in the world, my love and my life along with my children. I gave her my all, my heart, soul, love, and life. I honestly thought nothing could go wrong. The spell casting really changed her and she is always with the family now as we all ever wanted,Its kind of corny, but it was like a fairy tale relationship where the guy and girl are so in love that nothing else matters and will like to go an extra lent for doing anything. I never thought of her as one to cheat and I never questioned it. I knew we had a love that would last all other loves and a trust that couldn't be broken,she is now emotionally with the family now and my thanks to the freemercytemple@yahoo.com for helping me solve my awesome problem.

Olivia 3 days ago

What if he does not get jealous st all?? we still live together so i cant give him his space, i cant go without talking to him and he acts like were together except were not?? Im confused and need help!!

ododu 2 days ago

I had already tried three different internet spell caster's services, but all the guys I met were jerks and scams.

Then my friend told me about Dr Ododu Spells. I wasn't sure anything would come of it, but I thought, why not take

a chance? I cast a Love Spell, and the very next week a gorgeous guy came up to me at a club and asked me to dance.

He is caring, kind, romantic - everything I always wanted. We've been together for six months, and we're talking about

getting married. I'm a believer!" If you requires any assistance, you can contact him through (Ododutemple@yahoo.com)

nuts 43 hours ago

i had a boyfriend, but he got caught at his home and now he has left me saying that we will be together after some time.. but em not able to get through this. we still love each other but he says he cant see his parents in trouble but at the same time wants to be with me. im helpless in this regard and i want to get him back because it is difficult for me to stay away from him even if it is for a few years. please help me and suggest what should i do now. we talk a few times but end up fighting.. please help

helen john 8 hours ago

hello Dr Okoase,

my name is Helen john, I just wanted to extend

my thanks to you as a

repeated customer. I am

aware that your spells do

not need refreshing per

se, but every time I have

ordered with you the

most astonishing and

wonderful things have

happened, and it's

always been an

amazingly positive few

weeks or months after,

which is why I keep

coming back.

i am now happy with my wife,and very son we will get married

please contact Dr Okoase on his email: templeofgreatspell@gmail.com

regards Helen john

It is great to know that

there is a helping hand

out there whenever I feel

the need for it.please contact Dr Okoase on his email; templeofgreatspell@gmail.com

because he is indeed a great spell caster